Tag: inspiration

Adultiest Adults

I love this tweet. Never has this fact been more evident than throughout this damn pandemic. Right??? Here are some of the Comments to go along with this tweet:

“Peak adulthood is realizing that your parents were just winging it, too.” -@mjonesonline

“Oddly comforting, isn’t it?” @allisonching1

“Middle age is looking around for an “adultier adult” and realize everyone else is doing the same but they’re all looking at you. Because you ARE the adultiest adult present.” @getoffmylawn585

I recently did some self-reflection on this annoying thing that I do to my kids lately. It’s not charming, or “loving mommy” of me at all. (but honestly, I don’t see myself quitting it, anytime soon) Whenever my kids (ages 17 and up) have to do something exasperating that I used to do for them, such as calling customer service lines, and then waiting in the queue for 3.8 hours, and then having to speak to someone who doesn’t seem to understand English, and then being afraid to complain about this fact because it might get them “cancelled”, I just say this, with a quirky little smirk on my face:

“Welcome to adulthood!!” (and then I do this irritating laugh)

When my kids have to pay for something ridiculous, like paying an extra fee and some taxes for a permit for something that is required for a class that they’d rather not have to take in the first place, or when they complain about having to pay for things such as “batteries that aren’t included”:

I reliably chirp, “Welcome to adulthood!!”

Talk about being forced into a club that you never really wanted to join in the first place. And then looking around and going, “Wait, these are “the adults”?!? Seriously?!?”

On our walk last night, my husband and I were having a conversation, trying to make sense of the new round of COVID variants/mask rules/vaccine requirements/infection rates/school and work plans, etc., that seem to be all new, just for this week. Detaching and listening to our conversation, I had to giggle. We were repeating “news”, “conspiracy ideas”, things that we had “heard” in grocery store lines, work mandate memo updates, rumors from friends and neighbors, things that we had read on social media, etc. All of what we were saying to each other was completely convoluted. All of it contradicted each other. All of it was overwhelming and scary and frustrating and maddening. And of course, we both said all of it, with an air of solemn, all-knowing authority.

Welcome to adulthood.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Lions and Hawks

A Lion Doesn't Turn Around When a Small Dog Barks - The Agent Unleashed
(African Proverb)

When we were walking our dogs last night, we noticed that our neighbors were walking their dog on the opposite side of the street. The neighbors were staring up at something perched in the branches of the tallest tree, by the sidewalk. The “something” that had our neighbors mesmerized, was an incredibly beautiful, majestic, large and regal hawk. We are fortunate enough to share our neighborhood with more than a few of these incredible birds.

“Isn’t it gorgeous?!” We yelled over to our neighbors, as they took several pictures of the hawk. No matter how many hawks you see, you never lose the desire to stop and to stare at them. They are mesmerizing members of the raptor realm.

“Yes. She was just being harassed by a bunch of mockingbirds,” our neighbor told us. Apparently this is a relatively common phenomenon. Mockingbirds, and other smaller birds often use “mob mentality” in order to try to harass and to scare the larger predator birds away from their nests and their own self-proclaimed territories.

The neighbors and my husband and I all laughed at the audacity of the mockingbirds. This incredibly striking and magisterial hawk could have easily taken out, one or more of the mockingbirds, in just one easy swoop, or by one swift swipe of her sharp talon. She could have chosen to do this, if for nothing else, than to make an example to the rest of the birds, that they had best quiet down, and respect her stealth capabilities and power.

But the hawk didn’t do anything. She didn’t feel the need to prove anything. The magnificent, confident hawk did not seem the least bit concerned about the noisy, angry mockingbirds. The hawk stayed in her calm, regal, elegant pose, and nonchalantly let all of us snap pictures of her, as we basked in her utterly staggering and awe-striking presence.

The hawk knew who she was, and she understood the force of her own presence. She calmly and serenely stood her ground. She didn’t let herself be bothered by the noisy chatter, coming from the flock of intimidated, and puffed-up mockingbirds. Hawks are wise and brilliant creatures. They carefully conserve their energy, only to extend this energy on the things that truly matter to their living experiences. Giving attention to a bunch of defensive, chattering, angry birds simply wasn’t worth it, to the intelligent, focused, dignified hawk. Her feathers remained unruffled.

A hawk isn't afraid to perch high; not because he trusts he won't fall, but because he trusts he can fly. | Animal spirit guides, Spirit guides, Perched

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Your Soul is Whole

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“Every soul is whole, no matter how wounded the mind is.” ~ Native American (credit: Native Red Cloud @Native3rd, Twitter)

Your soul is whole, baby, and it is always, always with you. Your soul has been with you since the beginning, and it will be with you until the end of time. How do you get out of your overthinking mind, and into your ever-peaceful soul? Here are some ways:

  1. Take five deep breaths and notice the inhales and exhales.
  2. Think of five people, places, pets, or things which you are grateful for, and notice what gratefulness feels like in your body. (for me, it is a buoyancy in my chest, and an overall feeling of relaxation and relief, much like floating safely in a swimming pool)
  3. Do a body scan. Start at your toes. What are the sensations in your toes? Work all of the way up your body, to noticing the sensations at the top of you head.
  4. Say a prayer to your Higher Power, with just these words, “Let me hear what you have to say to me.” That’s it. Just sit with that prayer, and if your mind starts to wander on to other things, or you find yourself wanting to get into “talky” mode, repeat the listening prayer. Let the peace wash over you. (this is a sort of prayer and meditation, all in one.)
  5. Pick up one object that you like, say a “cherry”, and notice everything about the cherry. What does it look like? What does it sound like? What does it smell like? What does it feel like? What does it taste like?
  6. Think of someone who you love, like you love no other. Imagine hugging that person and transferring all of the love that you hold in your heart, to that person. Now imagine both of you covered in that swirling energy of love. Feel what that feels like. Gift that feeling to the next person you think of, imagining that person all of the sudden getting showered in the beautiful, powerful energy of unconditional love.
  7. When driving and passing people in their cars or on the street, think to yourself, “I love you and I bless you.” (this gives your mind and your heart a good job to do, without getting distracted by worries, or by anger about errant drivers. Your mind is just like a German Shepherd. It’s smart. It needs a job, all of the time. Give it a good job.)

Now if you prefer to stay in your overthinking, judgy, “stressed to the gills” mind/ego, here are some good ways to stay totally in your mindstate:

  1. Think of everyone and everything that annoys you (in detail) and think, with an air of superiority, about why you are right and they are wrong.
  2. Try to control everyone and everything going on around you, and sit in the feeling of utter, quickly growing frustration during this continuous, never-ending lesson in futility.
  3. Think of your own worst fears and worries and think of all of the worst case scenarios that could happen from your worst fears and worries. Obsess on these outcomes. Let them grow exponentially. Use your imagination.
  4. Spend at least two to three hours with Dr. Google, after experiencing a slight, but unusual pain in your neck.
  5. Keep the news on, in the background 24/7, and check other news stories, compulsively on your phone at the same time, just to make sure that your mind is getting fed all of the negative news that is available to you, right in the moment.
  6. Spend a good deal of your time beating yourself up for not being thin enough, or productive enough, or kind enough, or stylish enough, or smart enough. Be your own worst critic. Be creative with your harshness. Add a lot of sarcasm, just to be clever and cruel.
  7. Replay in your mind, every past experience that has already happened, and start making harsh judgments about the whole event. Cut down and criticize yourself, others, and all of the players who you can think of who were involved in the situation, until you are depleted and exhausted. Stew in your gripes. Be sure to be extra nit-picky and passive aggressive. Repeat on a never-ending cycle.

“Every soul is whole, no matter how wounded the mind is.” Your soul is whole, baby. Pick your soul every time. Your mind is just like a German Shepherd. It needs to be redirected to do helpful things for you, in your overall life. Your mind isn’t bad. It just likes to have a job, and to work all of the time. So give your mind some training. Make your German Shepherd mind an excellent working dog that does good, helpful work for you – work that supports you, and guards you from harm (especially from yourself). On the other hand, your soul doesn’t need any training. Your soul is the glorious, holy resting place for you, and your German Shepherd mind. Give your mind lots of breaks, just letting it relax in the whole of your soul. Your soul is whole, baby. It is your source of life, love, peace and replenishment. It is the perfect part of you, and it is available to you, forever.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Just Bloom

I’ve mentioned on the blog that I love my plants and jardinière. Yesterday evening, I looked over at my lovely figurehead lady, who has probably adorned our lanai for at least seven or eight years. (And in that time, she sure has weathered some storms.) She has housed a few different plants during all of these years, but never, ever, has her hat of flowers looked more fabulous and ornate and celebratory than right now. I smiled because it reminded me of a news story I read recently. An 82-year-old Oklahoma woman dressed up, and she wore a hat for her Zoom church meetings, 52 weeks in a row, during this terrible pandemic. Bloom where you are planted, right? We don’t always have a lot of control about what goes on all around us, but as we weather our storms, we do have a choice to do it in style and flair, and in hope.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2021/03/31/sunday-virtual-church-outfit/

Stylish woman dresses up for Zoom church every Sunday

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Good Times

There’s a stand-up comedian, Dusty Slay, whose catch phrase is “We’re having a good time.” He says that most comedians leave the overall atmosphere up to chance, or up to the critical opinions of others, by asking their audiences, “Are you having a good time?” Dusty decides just to manifest it. Throughout his set, he makes a point of throwing in the decisive statement, “We’re having a good time.” The way that Dusty says it sounds so reassuring and light, and it comes across like, “Chill out, man, we’re just having fun.” You can’t help but agree with him.

I’ve decided to keep Dusty’s friendly voice, with its catchy, southern twang, in the back of my mind, for times when things seem just too serious (or for when I make times too serious in my own mind, which is an unfortunate tendency of mine). I repeat to myself, “We’re having a good time.” I figure that even if it isn’t a particularly good time, I’ll at least get a giggle out of it. Like yesterday, when I was driving home from helping my youngest son move some of his stuff to a new apartment at his university, and then having to drive back home through the pouring rain, with a huge load of some of my son’s other stuff rolling around in the car, while the usual crazies on the slick highway, were weaving through 18 wheelers and oversized loads, as if it were an Olympic sport. I just repeated to myself, “We’re having a good time.” “Good times, we’re going for gold!” The statement makes me smile to myself, every time I think about it. I am sure that Dusty would be happy to let you use the phrase liberally, in your own life, too. “We’re having a good time.”

It’s Thursday. It’s summer. It’s late July. It’s hot. It’s humid. It’s bright. We’re alive. “We’re having a good time.”

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Important to Repeat

Friends, I woke up this morning with a bad cold, which is utterly shocking. With all of this mask wearing and social distancing, I can’t tell you the last time that I have had a cold. I almost forgot what it feels like to be sick. For reminder’s sake, it’s yucky.

Also, this morning I woke up to the sad news that one of my favorite people/pups on Twitter, Rex Masters, lost his beloved sister to her death this morning. My heart aches for him, and I have never met, nor conversed with the man, in my life. I feel like Rex might be out there on my blog space, or a fellow fan of his might be out there because I wrote a blog post about him one time, over a year ago, and today somebody looked at it. Rex, I am so, so sorry for your loss. Here is the post that I wrote about Rex Masters, a while ago:

Me and Dog Named Rex
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Soul Sunday

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Good morning, readers. Sundays are devoted to poetry. Today I am devoted to being quiet and within myself. I hope that you find some time today, to listen to, and to be with just yourself. Sunday is the perfect day to commune with, and to connect to the deepest part of you. Here is my poem for today:

“The Safe”

I handed you your life back yesterday.

All in a tidy little safe.

It has your birth certificate.

It holds your baptism certificate.

It also contains your passport, your SSN card, and your draft card.

I decided to add the addresses of all those who have loved you,

since the day that you were born, maybe even before.

It has a two dollar bill from your late grandfather.

He thought that it would be neat for you to have it.

And some savings bonds from my late grandmother.

She thought that it would be wise for you to have them.

Oh, and the space in between all of the paper stuff,

that space holds the mighty force of my love,

so anytime that you open the tidy, little safe,

you will be instantly surrounded and shielded,

By the strongest, most powerful, wisest, most faithful and loyal,

Part of me. My love will surround you then, and forever.

As it always has, and it always will. My love surrounds you.

You are safe to be free.

Heart-Ached Flavored Gelato

Later today, I will board an airplane and I will head back to my own well-established, mature, and sometimes even a tad staid, “adult life.” I will be leaving our middle son at the starting gate of his own adult life. He will be living right in the heart of a major city, on the 27th floor of a skyscraper. This is something that I have never done in my life. My children are usually pretty adventurous and independent. They know themselves really well. This makes me swell with happiness and pride and even with some relief.

My husband didn’t sleep well in our hotel room last night. I slept like a log. I tend to process a lot of my feelings during an event, and even before a major rite of passage. I am good at anticipating how I will feel, and then marinating in my feelings, soaking in all of the feelings, – the good, the bad and the ugly. I think about my feelings. I talk about my feelings. I write about my feelings. I watch movies that relate to my feelings. I know, and I name each of my emotions, intimately and easily. I release my feelings openly and freely. It is how I better understand myself and my life.

On the other hand, my husband has more of a delayed reaction to even noticing that change is happening, but then I think that it “hits” him suddenly, and with force. I sense that all of his mixed feelings (pride, nostalgia, excitement, melancholy, his own sense of age and mortality, curiosity, loss, hope) are all hitting him now with a direct blunt force. He doesn’t admit that to me. My husband blames his restlessness and lower energy and inability to sleep deeply, on the gelato which we had for dessert last night.

I wish that I could chalk up all of my emotions that I am experiencing right now, to gelato. “Oh, this unleashing of yet another one of my most precious children, fully and freely into the pastures of the wild, wild world, without me trotting alongside, is almost complete. Why is it that my stomach is churning, my mind is buzzing, my eyes are all blurry, and my heart is aching? Oh, silly me! It must be the Dulce de Leche gelato that I ate last night. “Gelato” can be really, really hard and difficult to digest. It takes time.”

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

An Important Project

My husband and I were at an REO Speedwagon concert last night. It was awesome. I have to laugh, though. Lately, my concert experiences have been a little shocking. I look around at my fellow concert goers/band fans, and I am reminded of the story about when my husband’s grandmother moved into an assisted living facility. “Oh my, everyone’s so old here!” she said.

The band itself was ALIVE. They were rocking it, like nobody’s business. I think that if music people get past that crazy, drug-fueled, self-destructive stage that a lot them seem to go through, then musicians tend to age better than anyone I know. I am pretty certain that this probably has something to do with deeply loving what you do, and fully surrendering to, and engaging with your passions, as if your life depended on it.

On the subject of deep love, the last few weeks have been somewhat of an emotional roller coaster, for me. Big highs and big lows have been my experience, as of late. This week gets capped off with another baby “officially” leaving the nest for adulthood, when tomorrow, we take him to the city where he will be attending medical school. I told myself, at the beginning of this week, that my full focus was going to be on my own self-nurturing and care, just for this week. I made calls and I got all of my annual health appointments on the calendar. I received a wonderful and much-needed massage. And most importantly, I told myself that my thoughts were only going to be centered on myself, and my needs – just for this week.

Try that some time. (especially you mothering, nurturing types) If you watch your thoughts, you’d be shocked at how often your thoughts veer into lanes where they weren’t needed, nor invited to, and how these thoughts love to create problems that don’t even exist. I wish I had a dollar for every single time I had to shift my thoughts back to myself this week. I’d be able to book a ride on one of the billionaires’ space adventures, with all of that money.

Sometimes it is easier to distract ourselves with thinking about everyone else’s lives. We love our partners and our children and our extended family and our friends, so of course we think about everybody we love, a lot of the time. But a big part of loving everyone in our lives, is to love them with confidence and respect. It is knowing that they are capable of, and deserving of taking care of their own unique needs. One of the best ways to give our loved ones this magnanimous love, is to demonstrate it. I challenge you to steer your thoughts back to yourself and your self-care needs, just for today. Anytime that your mind wanders into worrying about, or looks to find ways to fix, or to control, or to change, or to “help” the important others in your life, decide to love them with a deep faith, and then quickly steer your thoughts back to yourself and your needs. Today, make your own self, your project of passion, and the object of your most loving nurturance and compassion.

She Believed She Could So She Did Bracelet -Women's Rose Gold Bangle | Positive quotes, Inspirational quotes, Words quotes

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Shared Loves

I saw this on Think Smarter (Twitter) today. I smiled. It reminded me of a conversation I had with my husband just the other day. We were sitting on the couch with our daughter, and of course, all three dogs decided that they should be close by, too. So there was the three of us, and all three of our canines, all squished together in one small space, of an entire house. We liked our shared energy, I guess.

Looking over at our daughter, and Trip, our spaniel, all cuddled up to my husband, I said to my husband that I think that a big part of every love story is your shared loves. A huge part of any close relationship (family, friends, lovers, etc.) is that you share a deep love and appreciation, for a lot of the same people, places, pets, homes, plants, neighborhood spots, schools, spiritual houses, restaurants, teams, vacation spots, activities etc. You share a profound love for a lot of the same memories. And it’s these two individual loves that are co-mingled to form this very strong and protective cloud of love, over you, and over the object(s) of your shared love.

When we were on vacation, all four of our mostly grown children were blessedly with us. Sometimes they would get into “teasing mode” and they would start laughing about little bedtime songs which I had sung to them when they were young, or goofy things that my husband and I said to get them “into line.” Not in a morose way (moreso in a reassured, peaceful way), when they were doing this, I thought to myself, “When I pass on, these are the things that they will laugh about together, when they are old and grey. These are the memories that will keep them intimately connected.” The great truth is that all four of my children all love, and yet, are also deeply, deeply loved, by the same mother. We all share a big, big love. And that love is extended with their father, and with each other, and with our shared family and friends, and with the houses we have lived in together, and with the pets who have shared our lives, and with the adventures we have shared together. This is how Love connects everything.

I love the Earth and creation. I know that you love the Earth and creation. This is how I know that we are all covered by a beautiful protective cloud of love, together, all around this Earth. We share a fathomless love for the miracle of life, and we are all loved by that same immeasurable force of Love. Sometimes I sit with this thought for a few minutes, and I just sigh into the peace of that thought, and I try to keep that wise, knowing peacefulness with me, all day long. Love’s got us covered.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.