Month: January 2019

Are You Serious?

“What is funny about us is precisely that we take ourselves too seriously.” – Reinhold Niebuhr

“Let us not take ourselves too seriously. None of us have a monopoly on wisdom.” – Queen Elizabeth II

When I was a kid, one of our favorite family past times was for my father to set up the slide projector. (the one with the round tray that would click noisily through the slides) Then, my mother, father, sister and I would laugh heartily at the old family pictures. We would giggle at the bouffant hairdos, the bad Toni perms, the funny glasses and even us kids would laugh at ourselves, with our pigtails and our bell-bottomed gauchos. Many of these pictures were just a decade old and yet, they were outdated enough, for us to find them to be laugh-out-loud hilarious. What’s even funnier, is that we were watching these slides in the 1980s with our enormous hair and shellacked bangs, in our mauve and teal-colored family room.

I have been binge watching The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. My youngest son has watched a couple of the episodes with me and a few times he has commented on the fact that he can’t believe some of the ways that they talk on the show, or what they do and wear, really happened. He finds it to be ridiculous. The show takes place in the late 1950s. Most of us “second halfers” in adulting, have parents who were kids and young adults in the 1950s. Yet when we watch shows like Maisel and Madmen, they seem otherworldly . . . from a time long, long ago.

Bottom line is that almost everything that we consider stylish, tried and true, and important and crucial right now, is likely to seem funny, trite, silly and sometimes, even impossible to understand, in the very near future. Everything that is weighing heavy on our hearts right now, is more than likely to work itself out, to the point that we will eventually have a hard time remembering what had upset us so much. And this cycle happens many, many times over, just in our lifetimes. Why would we take anything too seriously, when we fully understand that this cycle happens, again and again?

“I don’t believe in being serious about anything. I think life is too serious to be taken seriously.” – Ray Bradbury

K-9

I hate to bombard you with dog stories, readers and friends, but hey, this is my life. This is my blog. And I have two dogs. I had to write this story down to help me to process, review and understand this unsettling true event that just happened to me. Yesterday, I took my dogs for a walk. I haven’t missed a walk with my dogs since I wrote Ralphie’s Revenge, for obvious reasons. (see previous blog post)

To give you some background, let me introduce you to my dogs. We have an adolescent male Labrador retriever named Ralphie, who might as well be named “Marley.” He’s textbook lab – high energy, HIGH energy, and overwhelmingly friendly. Ralphie is NOT at all clued in, as to when people and other dogs aren’t particularly friendly or into his friendliness and boundless energy. Finally, Ralphie is certainly not aware of his own strength. We also recently adopted a beautiful, sweet eight-month-old rough collie puppy named Josie. Josie spent her formative puppy months on a remote farm. We are trying to work with her, for her to realize “Josie, you’re not in Kansas anymore.” Actually, Josie’s from Wisconsin, but it’s the same idea. I think that she thinks that suburban Florida is akin to New York City. Josie is still getting used to anything louder and stranger than crickets. The thing about collies is that they have very skinny heads and long snouts. They humor you when they wear a collar. A collar is just “for show” when it comes to collies. Josie (as did our previous collie, Lacey) has the Houdini-like ability to slide out of her collar in seconds flat, no matter how tight you think you have it on her. I think choke collars would be pointless on collies. So the other day, when an older man got a little too close to us when we were walking, while he was driving a wee bit wobbly on his bike, Josie pulled out her collar instantly and I was left with a limp leash and an invisible dog at the end of it.

So yesterday, I was peacefully walking along with our dogs and I decided to take a side street, where I don’t typically walk along. I was enjoying myself and I just wanted to shake things up a bit. I was lost deep in thought, when out of nowhere, from a big, wide side yard, bounds an enormous German Shepherd. Now, I think German Shepherds are beautiful and in the right hands, they are probably fabulous family dogs. However, I have baggage. My husband still has a scar from being bit by a German Shepherd as a kid and I, myself, was bit by a German Shepherd right on my derriere, when leaving a small country gas station. I think that the shepherd didn’t realize that I DID pay for my gas. I am not a good Alpha when it comes to dogs. If we had a German Shepherd, or a Doberman or a Pit Bull, the first time it would show its teeth, even as a puppy, I would happily hand over, to the puppy, my house keys, and my car keys. I would offer to sleep in the garage, eat kibble, and give the puppy my steak. There is a good reason why we have a lab and a collie. They fit my temperament.

Anyway, in the split second that the ginormous German Shepherd is bounding towards us, I am flashing forward in my mind, to what I thought was going to happen. Ralphie was going to go into insane, overwhelmingly annoying mode and he was going to overpower my grip on his lead and break free. Josie was going to go into Houdini mode and quickly become fast-moving prey as she ran free from her collar, the leash and the frightening scene. Some way or another, I was going to become the German Shepherd’s dinner, trying to salvage me and my dogs. So, I started screaming loudly, “Hello!!!! Help!!! Help!!! Hello!!!” to try to preempt what was bound to happen.

Well, what actually did happen was really quite different than I had imagined. And part of me thinks that the way that I imagined it happening may have been a better, and certainly, a much less embarrassing outcome.

The German Shepherd stopped right at the edge of the yard and looked at me quizzically, as I screamed maniacally. He then turned his head back and looked at a big, huge, stern looking, macho man for direction as to what he should do about the crazy lady. The man appeared from behind a large white Bronco that I then noticed had the words, “Sheriff K-9” painted on it. So, it was just another day, on the job, dealing with high-strung crazies, for this police officer and his trusty K-9 . . . .

“Really, ma’am?!? Really?!? It’s okay,” is the what the perturbed man said to me.

I was truly horrified and mortified and everything-fied.

“I’m so sorry, officer. I’m sorry. I’m not crazy,” I stammered. “My labrador can sometimes be a big pain-in-the-ass and I was just concerned that he might trigger your dog.”

“Yes, labs (he said “labs” kind of pointedly, like he was really thinking something else) CAN be a pain-in-the-ass,” is what the police officer said to me and he looked at me and kind of sighed, probably sizing up what kind of risk I was to myself, or to my dogs or to the neighborhood. He then called his smart, Chewbacca-like companion to the Bronco and I quickened my pace home.

I’m not sure what the meaning or moral of this whole event was to me, or if there really even is, any kind of meaning or moral. I’m just happy that it’s over. And I am truly grateful for our wonderful police officers and our amazing police dogs, from the bottom of my heart. They have to put up with a lot, even when they are off-duty.

Mt. Saint Mommy

“Instant gratification takes too long.” – Carrie Fisher

My eldest son and his girlfriend came to visit us this past weekend. My eldest son and my husband have a proclivity for authentic German food and my son’s girlfriend had never tried authentic German food, so I had a plan. There is an amazing, popular German restaurant about 45 minutes from where we live, that my husband and I had been dying to try, but we couldn’t get reservations. So, I finally got reservations, way in advance to my son’s visit, for our family to go there this past weekend, as a special treat.

The restaurant is a teeny, tiny, intimate establishment run by a family from Munich. As we entered the very packed restaurant, everyone seemed surprised to see us – the guests, the hostess, the cooks, the accordion player, all had the same look that said, “What are you doing here?”

I marched up to the hostess, whose stand is kind of right in the middle of this teeny, little hobbit-like building, and right in front of the entrance of the kitchen, announcing my reservation, for my party of six. The hostess looked flustered as she fluttered through pages, in her primitive reservation notebook. She timidly admitted that they had mistakenly marked our reservation for the previous night and that there was nothing available that evening.

The restaurant got hushed. The accordion player stopped playing. I suspect some of the guests were hoping for a little drama and excitement to go along with their strudel dessert. My family started edging towards the door. You see, I don’t embarrass easily, and my family knows that about me. They saw that I was about ready to erupt. I was standing in the middle of that tiny little beehive, filled with people and gravy and strong German beer, and my explosion was imminent. I’m a very nice person, until I’m not. I have a very long fuse, but the end of my fuse is not pretty. I’m a fire sign.

Luckily, the owner of the restaurant, an efficient, calm, structured woman, saw what the end of the imminent outburst could look like, as I was firmly implanted in the middle of her restaurant, growing larger in my stature as my insides were bubbling and rising to the surface. I had given my family the “mom/wife stink eye” that made them all freeze in place before they could slide out of the door. The owner fully accepted, in that very moment, that we weren’t going anywhere, without a frenzied fuss, at the very least. Everyone in the restaurant held their breath. The accordion player’s arms were shaking from holding the instrument up in the air, suspended from play. And then, with a few orders barked out in German, the owner of the restaurant rearranged the whole seating chart of the establishment like it was an efficient game of musical chairs. She poured large, “on the house” glasses of wine, encouraging her other guests to move to other corners of the cottage and everyone happily and quickly obliged.

In the end, we had a wonderful time. The food, drink and company were marvelous. The accordion player stayed a little longer and played some particularly merry tunes. I look forward to going there again and I will put in an extra call to confirm my reservation next time. Mt. Saint Mommy didn’t erupt after all. False alarm.

“Embarrassment and awkward situations are not foreign things to me.” – Paul Rudd

Full Hearts

“I’ve always had a theory that some of us are born with nerve endings longer than our bodies.” – Joy Harjo

I’m a sensitive, spongy person. I wish that I weren’t. I try to put on a persona that I’m not sensitive. Sometimes that works, but then my weak tear dams tell a different story. I once asked a wise woman if it is a bad thing that I’m sensitive. She said, “No, it’s not bad or good. Sensitive is just what you are. Sometimes being a more sensitive person can make life a little bit harder, but it can also make life more intensely beautiful, and rewarding too.” Ah, the two sides of a coin thing . . .

“We cannot be more sensitive to pleasure without being more sensitive to pain.” – Alan Watts


Happy Monday, to all of my fellow empath friends. I appreciate your beautiful, full hearts!! I think that God gave us the gift of these delicate, yet rugged, perceptive hearts, because God knew that we could handle, enjoy and convey, the pure beautiful intensity of Life. Mondays can be rough, reflective days for us. But they also can be joyously, miraculous days, too.


“Sometimes I think,
I need a spare heart to feel 
all the things I feel.”  – Sanober Khan

Hey Friend

“I’ve decided my 2019 will start on February 1st. January is a free trial month.” – Daily Positive Information

My friend sent the above quote to our group chat the other day. I love it. I find it to be very true. I always feel like a racehorse at the starting gate on the first days of the year, eager to gallop towards my goals and ambitions and desired changes, but usually right around this time, I feel slowed, muddled and frustrated. I read something recently about the fact that most successful CEOs only schedule about 40-50% of their time because they are fully aware that interruptions and diversions and surprises are the likely to happen, in the course of any particular day.

It seems that when we consider our resolutions or at the very least, our intentions for the year, we sometimes get so excited that we forget that life still happens. We envision going full tilt on our dreams and visions, forgetting that all of the mundane still needs to be addressed. Haircuts, car repairs, getting sick, taxes, grocery shopping etc. are all facts of life that aren’t going to disappear so we can fully focus on just what ignites our passions. Maybe that is why resolutions/intentions are so quickly put by the wayside. Maybe it is better to start the year, fully accepting that 40-50% of our time is probably already taken up by the banal, day-to-day, need-to-dos in our lives. Our job is to make sure that we are filling that other 50-60% with the stuff that makes our hearts sing. Maybe this natural slowing down of our excitement for change and growth is a healthy thing, to make sure that we are headed in the directions that we really want to go to, in our lives.

“Hey friend, don’t you dare forget, as you are creating a new you, that there’s a whole lot about the old you that is worth keeping.” – Toni Sorenson

Ralphie’s Revenge

On Thursday, I didn’t take my usual, several miles long walk with our dogs. It started out as a rainy day and I wanted to get errands done, but also, I wanted to escape a little bit, to get away from the mundane – to get the “hell out of Dodge”, so to speak. Ralphie, our Labrador retriever, doesn’t, at all, appreciate when we miss a daily walk. He can’t speak, so he lets his anger and frustration be known, in other ways.

As my husband and I settled down on the couch, to watch The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Thursday evening, Ralphie eyed us carefully and deliberately, up and down. He then went to his toy tub and carefully chose one of his stuffed animals. I think that Ralphie purposely picked out the newest, cutest one. He brought the stuffed animal behind the couch, where we were sitting, and he slowly and methodically, tore the poor, little, helpless stuffie, into a million little pieces. Ralphie made sure that we heard the seams ripping, and the fabric shredding effortlessly, in the clutches of his powerful jaws and sharp teeth. I tried to pretend like I didn’t notice. I feigned indifference, but I was admittedly, very relieved when Ralphie’s tooth finally pierced the poor little toy’s squeaker and I no longer had to hear its wailing squeals. Friday morning, I had a huge massacre of stuffing and crinkly paper and cloth carcass to clean up, having been mercilessly spread, all over the floor. Ralphie left the murder scene as a warning, I am sure. I couldn’t stop flashing back in my mind, to that horse head scene in the Godfather movie.

Friday, I took the dogs on a long, long walk. Ralphie, by the way, is a Dudley Labrador retriever. Dudley labs are yellow labs with pinkish-brown noses and lips, as opposed to black noses. A woman asked me about his coloring once. I told her that Ralphie is a Dudley lab. She thought that I had said that Ralphie was a “deadly lab.” When we figured out the miscommunication, we both laughed and I said, “I don’t think that there is such thing as a deadly lab!” Now . . . . I’m not so sure.

Friday . . . It’s Kind of a Big Deal

Hi friends and readers!!! Happy Favorite Things Friday!!! New readers, I don’t get meaningful on Friday. I keep it fun and superficial and I typically list three favorite items, foods, stores, songs, etc. that rock my world. I would be thrilled if you readers would add to the list in the Comments section. Let’s keep this economy rolling! Please check out previous Friday posts for other favorites. I haven’t reneged on any of them, yet.

Yesterday, I had “my kind of day.” I got “out of my element.” I had some returns to do at a chain store that I frequent and I decided that instead of going to my usual “haunt”, I was going to find another one, in another part of town, to force me to get out of “my rut.” As I drove to the different chain store, I stopped at any store and/or nature site that caught my fancy. It was so much fun! I took deep breaths at beautiful gulf view venues, I got a wonderful cup of strawberry iced tea, served in antique china at a fabulous French marketplace, I made a list of restaurants I want to try with my husband on “date night” and I found some thrift store “steals.” I had wonderful conversations with people along the way, even meeting a connection for my son, who is pondering the idea of medical school. I feel refreshed and rejuvenated and all it took was a few hours in an area just 45 minutes from where I live. Life is good, if you let it be. On to favorite things Friday . . .

Larissa Loden jewelry – I discovered this jewelry from one of my thrift store jackpots yesterday. I got a Larissa Loden necklace still attached to its original packaging for $1! STEAL!! But that turns out to be a blessing for me and for Larissa, because I went to her website. (she is a jewelry artist out of Minnesota). Her items are so unique and cool and fabulous that I am sure that I will be ordering more items. To give you an idea about her super cool edginess, she has a Be Prepared necklace that has a tiny little jackknife pendant. Very devil-may-care! Check it out.

Oranda Goldfish – I’ve had aquariums off and on, most of my life. I’ve tried saltwater, freshwater and brackish. However, my favorite all-time fish is the freshwater, fancy variety of goldfish called “oranda” goldfish. Currently, I have three of these little loves who live in a pond-like structure, on my side porch. Goldfish are dirty, messy fish, but they make up for it,with their adorable faces, slow moving swimming style and their willingness to meet you at the top of the water for their food. The orandas are the fish with the chubby cheeks. They are the fish with what some people say, looks like their brain is sitting on top of their heads. I prefer the description someone at a pet store said once – “Omg! They look like cute, little, swimming Lucille Balls!!”

Phytoceramides – Okay, friends, this is another supplement recommendation so again, please check with your doctor first before ingesting anything me or anyone else on the internet, suggests that you try. I, myself, starting taking them because Dr. Oz said that they work. No, Dr. Oz isn’t my personal physician, but I’ve been taking them for a month and I haven’t been hospitalized yet. Anyway, this supplement is supposedly a great one for keeping your skin looking young and less wrinkly. I haven’t witnessed miracles, but I believe that I have noticed a difference in my skin’s elasticity – enough that I plan on taking them for at least another month.

Have a wonderful weekend, friends!!

“You gotta throw back Thursday and get your Freak On Friday! Can I get a whoop whoop?” – Inspire Positive Soul Sensations

The Power of Earrings

I went to Target (otherwise known as Tar-jshay) with my daughter yesterday evening. I found a pair of earrings that I liked and I decided to put them on right away, at the cash register, because I had forgotten to wear earrings when I was getting ready. The earrings are long dangles with all different colored tassels. They are playful and fun and surprisingly, not heavy. When I put them on, our cashier exclaimed, “Oh yes, those are great! They make you look happy and young.” She then started stammering something about me actually “being young” and then I didn’t need anything to make me look young, and then she turned as red as her red Target shirt.

I just giggled and said, “That’s great. In that case, I’m never going to take them off.” I mean fashion earrings are a lot cheaper than a face lift or even some of these wrinkle creams on the market. Still, it was one of those moments in life when you notice a shift. Years ago, I was the young person giving stupid, backwards compliments to older people. (unintentionally and meant to be kind, of course) Often I would say, “Wow! You look great for your age!” Note to young people – just stop at “great.” Another thing not to say is “Wow! You look great for having four kids!” Again – just stop at “great”.

I would like to pretend that the comment didn’t bother me at all, but that would be a lie and I wouldn’t be writing about it this morning. Still, the cashier’s comment bothered me only slightly and more, it made me reflect. We put such emphasis on looking and being “young”, yet as I’ve aged, I’ve experienced many, many benefits to being older. Younger isn’t necessarily better. It’s just different. I took the earrings off last night before I went to bed. Maybe today I’ll wear one of the many vintage clip-on pairs that I have collected over the years. Instead of “young and happy”, perhaps the vintage earrings will make me look “older and sage.” I like having the option. It makes me feel free.

The Good That Comes Out

I am going to preface this blog post by saying that I am not a person who is very interested in, nor strongly involved in, politics. I am not about to write a political post. I think that the internet already has too many political websites inciting all sorts of anger and angst, and I am not about to add to the fray. Frankly, I am not informed or knowledgeable enough to really know what I am talking about when it comes to most political subjects. That being said, I had an “a-ha moment” yesterday, relating to the government shutdown.

My friend has a daughter who goes to college in Washington D. C. My friend texted our group chat that while her daughter has seen a lot of disruption in the area of our capital, she also had seen a lot of volunteering and fundraising to help the furloughed workers out. Another friend chimed in that a neighbor had started a fundraiser for local Coast Guard families. I looked up what things were being done for these workers and I read about donations to food pantries rising, greatly. I read about grocery stores and food companies creating “free grocery stores” for our government workers. I read about easy, inexpensive loan funds being set up by insurance companies and banks to help our fellow citizens to get over this hump. I read about a donation website being created, to help clean up our national parks. My family and I went to Yosemite this past summer and we had an amazing trip there. I decided to donate to this national park fund this morning.

People are mostly good. Our American citizens are mostly kind, generous, compassionate people who care deeply about other people, our beautiful country, and the future for our children and grandchildren, for generations to come. No matter where any of us stand on our political views, most of us are inherently good people. I had to confess to my husband last night that I had recently lost my wallet in our local grocery store. I had just gone to the bank and it had hundreds of dollars in it. (I didn’t want to tell him because I have a tendency to lose things . . . . a lot.) Anyway, as you can guess, some kind, wonderful, honest person turned my wallet in and that integrity-filled person, took not one penny out of it. Honestly, this didn’t surprise me. I’m entirely grateful. I have been praying for amazing blessings to shower this person, every day this week, but I am not amazed. My experience is that people, no matter their color, age, sex, political party, sexual orientation, economic status, etc. etc. are mostly Good!! I told my husband about it last night because I knew that I needed to write about this today.

When my friends told us about the kind, generous donations and volunteering that was happening to support our furloughed friends and neighbors, I thought to myself, “Wow, what a wonderful way to deal with the frustrations many of us our feeling about our political system these days!” My guess is that every spectrum of person has donated to these various funds or volunteered to help in some way – the people who can’t stand our president, the people who can’t stand our Congress, the people who can’t stand the whole lot of them, the people who see this standstill as a “necessary evil” to get our lawmakers to come together, the people who feel frustrated and helpless and lost when it comes to the state of our affairs, the people who feel confident about the state of our country and our leaders, etc. etc. Bottom line, is that all of these people are doing Good. Together. It’s what most of us do. We are Americans. We are Good. We are Doers. We look out for each other. I feel a lot of pride right now.

I think helping each other through these tumultuous times is so much more effective and empowering, than writing divisive, dismissive, condescending viewpoints on social media that will only be argued vehemently, by those who feel completely opposite in their views. When people feel that strongly about something, their views are very unlikely to be moved or changed. However, being an example of “What can I do to help make this situation better for those innocents who are currently having to ‘take one for the team’?” is a reminder of what our country is really made of – people who care, people who come together in crisis, people who are capable of seeing the bigger picture, people who are resilient and hopeful and strong. And nothing is going to change that because that is our foundation. That is who Americans are and that is why our country is the tremendous beacon of light, for so many people. And I am proud to call myself an American.

Surprise!

Last night, my husband and I rented a movie from Redbox called Bad Times at the El Royale. It was a noir/mystery type movie that kept you guessing throughout its entirety. I spilled my drink and my snack more than once from jumping out of my skin because the totally unexpected, happened, out of nowhere, more than a dozen times in the movie. It struck me that most of us love the thrill of being surprised in our entertainment, but not so much in our regular lives. We like to live with stability and predictability, but the vicarious thrills of someone else going through something unanticipated, keeps our hearts pumping. Decades ago, I sold college textbooks. We had a hard-nosed, old school district manager who loved to say, “I can handle anything but surprises. Don’t ever let me be surprised.”

“No one is so brave that he is not disturbed by something unexpected.” – Julius Caesar

Oscar Wilde is most notably credited with our “expect the unexpected” adage. We think that we dread unplanned surprises, but there is a certain daring, and enthrallment that comes from being surprised or even surprising ourselves with our own unexpected actions, reactions and creations. Unknowns are not always threatening, hence the term, “happy surprises.” I think that there will always be a large part of our humanity that will always crave stability, but also the sneaky, little, devilish, slightly hidden part of our humanity that just can’t wait for the bombshell to pop out of left field. The mix of both of these elements, is what makes life so sustainable, yet so interesting.

“The ear tends to be lazy, craves the familiar and is shocked by the unexpected; the eye, on the other hand, tends to be impatient, craves the novel and is bored by repetition.” – W. H. Auden