Tag: empty nest

Wowza Question

“A life-changing thought exercise: If you were the main character of a TV show, what would you be rooting – screaming at the screen – for them to do next?” (@alicellemee, X)

Oooof. I came across this quote yesterday on X. What an interesting question! Emotional distance really makes it easier to be clear on next steps, doesn’t it? The other day I was perplexed by a decision I had to make, and one of my dear friends helped me through it, by asking a lot of questions related to the situation. They were really good questions to ponder and these questions helped to see more options and consequences than my reactive state was allowing me to see. She didn’t advise me nor shame me, she just helped me to see things through different lenses.

The question above allows for emotional distance. It’s so much easier to tell other people and to yell at characters on TV about what their next moves should be. I think that if I were watching myself on TV (Firstly, I would likely be a little bored. I ain’t no Daenerys Targaryen, by a longshot) I probably would not be sure what she should do next, but I might be screaming, “Do something!! Please! Let’s make it a little more interesting, shall we?!” Maybe that’s the answer, in order to make life a little more tantalizing, try something new, every single day. And if that “something new” becomes a passion, roll with it. Hard.

“May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.”– Nelson Mandela 

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1193. Are you a hat person?

True Love

This is a Valentine for all of the people out there in the world who aren’t afraid to love fully. This is a Valentine for all of the people who robustly show, feel, and express their love for people, places, things, experiences, nature, hobbies – essentially, all of life, with the fullness of their whole, entire hearts. These people are the strongest, most whole people in the entire world. It takes vulnerability to love with everything you’ve got. Most people are too afraid to love at this level. And this is sad, because if we all took off all of the safety, protective equipment that we have chained all over our individual hearts, the world would move to a beautiful energy like we have never experienced before, in the history of life. For those of you who are brought to tears by the sheer awe of the beauty and miracles, happening all around us every single day, you are experiencing pure, uncontaminated love, and your beautiful love emanates all around you, and moves through everything, and touches the experiences of all of us. Remember, feeling love never hurts. Feeling love feels better than anything. It is lack of love that hurts. It is painful to hold in, and to shut down love. Unconditional love requires nothing in return. Yes, we can desire to be loved back. We can wish someone who has passed was still here in human form, to share our human form of love, but true, authentic love doesn’t require a pair. Love just is. Love is the overwhelming feeling of gratitude, astonishment, reverence, wonder, enthrallment for who and what you are beholding in your every moment’s experiences. If you have given something or someone the gift of your fullest love, you have given them everything. Because the truth is, Love is everything. And like a persistent flower that pokes out of the most desolate pile of concrete in the world, love cannot be stopped. Why not chose to be fertilizer for love? You are loved. You ARE Love. Happy Valentine’s Day!!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1931. Who can you be yourself around?

Tuesday’s Tidbits

+ This is for my friends and family, up north. I do miss seeing and experiencing the beauty and the serenity and the quiet of blankets of freshly fallen snow. Our eldest son lives up north. He just sent us a picture from his back balcony. There’s a large house behind his apartment building that is painted a bright Kelly green. It is a good reminder that there is always the green of new growth hidden under the blankets of stillness and solitude.

+ On X yesterday, the Wiseconnector posted this: “Someone said, ‘A lot of people struggle with sleep because sleep requires peace.’ ” I believe that peace is extremely helpful for sleep. Inner peace, or else utter exhaustion that finally leads to pure surrender, is what helps us to get a good night’s sleep. Perhaps this means that it is total surrender that is truly equal to peace?? Another quote that I read recently said this: “Accept the unacceptable and the unacceptable ceases to exist.”

+ On the eve of Valentine’s Day I got to thinking about the wonderful word of “our”. “Our” denotes the things that we share and enjoy with others. I have so many “ours” with my husband. Our marriage, our family, our friends, our home, our dogs, our vacations, our dinners, our shows, our memories . . . . . I have a lot of “ours” with a lot of different people in my life. Think of all of the “ours” you have in your own life. “Our” means that we share a common love, time, appreciation and experience with a lot of the same things, and a lot of the same people. At work, you have “our” workplace, “our” goals, “our” lunchroom. . . . . With your friends you have “our” other friends, “our” good times shared, “our” inside jokes. . . . With your pets you have “our” walk time, “our” cuddle time, “our” favorite spots to be together in the house . . . . Friends, we have this time together at “our” blog. You have made this blog “ours” by validating it with your presence, your consideration, your time, your kindness, and your thoughtful comments. I love you. I appreciate you. I am so happy that you are part of one of my own “ours.” Think of some of your other “ours.” We don’t live life in a vacuum. We are all interconnected. Even your community has “our” parks and “our” grocery stores and “our” schools and “our” firefighters . . . . No one is alone.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1672. What still amazes you? (The first two things that popped into my head the minute I saw this question are dolphins and sunsets.)

Monday – Funday

Credit: @ArgyllSeaGlass, X

Mondays are tough. Mondays after a Super Bowl that goes into overtime are brutal. What I do love about the Super Bowl is that it is a great connector of people. Even if you don’t love football, you can’t help but giggle at the commercials, be completely wowed by the halftime show (Skates! Usher, you blew it out of the water!), and feel your patriotism rise a little bit. (the flyovers never fail to take my breath away.)

I was flipping through Big Panda and Tiny Dragon by James Norbury. On page 28, is this exchange:

“Nothing is happening,” said Tiny Dragon.

“Maybe,” said Big Panda, “it’s happening underneath first.”

I love this exchange. Sometimes in the beginning of the year, you feel like everything that you want to accomplish and experience is at a standstill. But you’ve made plans. You’ve implemented changes. You’ve gotten organized and did some purging to make room for the new, but your outsides don’t necessarily reflect this. Or do they? We’ve lived 6 weeks into the new year. I bet if you look at these past six weeks, you’ll be amazed at what you packed into them, and all that has already occurred in your life since the beginning of the new year. I did this exercise yesterday and I was happy to realize that in the last six weeks, we created a lot of fun memories with our family, and also with some of our extended family and friends. We attended a wedding, made a couple of nice upgrades to our home, and made some decisions regarding our plans for a secure future. We packed plenty of our normal routine stuff into our days, with some really good, fun times sprinkled into the mix. Our seeds for the year of 2024 are definitely coming up to the surface and they are beginning to sprout.

Reading this passage from Big Panda and Tiny Dragon, also made me question if I was doing a good job, making sure what happening “underneath” is being healthfully nurtured. Am I feeding and nurturing my hopes and dreams, for the year and beyond, with good thoughts, faith, plans of action, and steadiness? Or am I letting what’s “underneath” rot in the decay of negativity, regret, hopelessness, aimlessness and frenzy? What happens underneath the soil, is always a good indicator of how healthy and vital a plant will grow. What does my own grounding of soil need to ensure my own healthy growth? I am the gardener of my soul.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

194. To whom do you matter most?

Soul Sunday

We just had a wonderful time with friends who recently moved to Florida from up north. So they are so full of joy and excitement and adventurously exploring all of the different things to do around here. We have lived here for 13 years now, so it has become our “normal.” Being with them, revitalizes my own delight for where we live. I get to see my “same old/same old” with fresh new eyes. It is such a lovely gift. It is truly a gift when you feel revitalized by someone else shining their bright light on what you have gotten used to seeing, and thus sometimes leave in the dark shadows. Today, on poetry day on the blog, I am only going to share one of Kahlil Gibran’s shortest, truest poems.

“Desire is Half”

Desire is half of life.

Indifference is half of death.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

2740. What is something that you’re are afraid to try?

Stream of Thought

I just read a story about the second oldest woman in the world. She is 116. She was born when Theodore Roosevelt was president.

Lately I’ve been thinking about the fact that if we are lucky enough to grow old, we live through a lot of decades. We live through an incredible amount of change. My friends and I laugh that often we no longer recognize who the stars are on the covers of magazines. Sometimes it feels like I have entered an entirely different world from the one I knew.

We all adapt to change. It’s not really a choice. But how often do we embrace change?

What decade of your life do you feel like you most belong to? What decade did you feel the most comfortable in your own skin? Which worlds of your lifetime resonated the most? Is it wise to believe that the best is yet to come?

A friend recently remarked, “Curiosity killed the cat.” I replied, “But satisfaction brought him back.” She laughed. She had never heard the second line. I honestly believe that curiosity is my lifeline. I don’t want to revel in old “glory days.” I want to have glorious days until the end of my life. And I do believe that this is possible.

“When our mind is in shambles and we dare to reflect on the story of our life, we may discover, in the stream of our thoughts, the fault line between what we have underfelt and what we have overthought on our way.”
― Erik Pevernagie

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

830. Name your secret obsession.

Dragon It, It’s Friday

Good morning! Happy Friday!! Happy Year of the Dragon!! Today is a New Moon. Today is one of the first new moons of the new year. New Moons are a great time to think about what you want in the new year. I saw this quote this week and I think it is an excellent reminder: “When writing the story of your life, don’t let someone else hold the pen.” – Harley Davidson Use your own pen to write your own story. Today is your fresh new start.

Fridays are for my favorites! Favorite things are what makes life sing. I was visiting with dear family members earlier this week and I was treated to the most fabulous oranges which I have eaten in a long time. I was told that the oranges come from a wonderful farm in Florida, who ship their citrus all over the country. When I was devouring these oranges, I had one of those moments when you say to yourself, “Oh yes, this is what oranges are really supposed to taste like.” You can order many different Florida citrus offerings from Countryside Family Farms here: www.countrysidecitrus.com

Speaking of delicious food, yesterday morning when I got my coffee, and I glanced at my calendar, I saw a reminder that I had a reservation for lunch at a local high school’s Culinary Academy restaurant. I had made the reservation several months ago, as these reservations are limited and hard to get, and it was the last reservation available for the entire school year. (Yes, I went by my lonesome.) I admit that I wasn’t thrilled at first, when I saw the appointment on my calendar. I have a million things on my plate this week, and so truthfully, I even considered bailing. But my curiosity and my conscience got to the best of me, and so, I went. And it was fabulous! My three course meal was a great deal better than a lot of restaurant meals which I have had lately. Seniors in high school, who plan on pursuing careers in the culinary arts, and who run the whole show, from hostessing, to serving, to cooking, to setting up seating and creating ambience, and finally do all of the clean up, were so obviously passionate and excited and proud about what they do. I was wildly impressed. It was a great reminder to me, of all of the talent that exists right in your own neck of the woods, coming from people of all different ages. Local high schools put on wonderful drama and musical productions. They have amazing art exhibits, marching band events, robotics/science demonstrations, and of course, every sports game imaginable to watch. Put something on your calendar this year which supports the different “goings on” at your local schools. You will be amazed with what you experience. You will be impressed. You will be rejuvenated. You will feel good supporting the kids in your community, and you will feel a whole lot better about the future. (You’ll take a little notch out of your cranky, getting older, “the world is going to hell in a handbasket” point of view.) At least that’s what I got out of yesterday, besides an incredible, delicious lunch for only $15.

Have a wonderful weekend!!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

970. Do desperate times call for desperate measures?

The Clump Effect

In my life (and in observing the lives of others), I have often noticed what I consider to be “the clump effect”. In any given calendar year, notable events, particularly happy moments and reunions and visits, surprising news and occurrences, celebrations, travel, randomly running into people, and even loved ones’ birthdays all seem to happen in “clumps.” And there is very little downtime to really process your thoughts, feelings, reactions, and next moves, because all of these things that you are needing to, and wanting to process, are also clumped together and are still relatively unsorted, and also being steadily mixed about, in your own little private mixing bowl of emotion, while you are still moving through your current “clump” of activity. I am moving through one of my “clumps” this week. And it has been lovely, and interesting, and hopeful, and helpful, and fun, and sad, and painful, and pricking, and exciting, and full of anticipation, and nostalgic, and full of future tripping, and meaningful, and interesting, and all of this is being mixed together with more unknown intriguing ingredients to be added throughout the weekend. The clump effect allows us to have long strands of renewing lull in our everyday routines, in order for us to prepare for our next “clump.” And it is in our lives’ clumps, that we are given a whole new set of experiences to help us to rapidly grow into the directions which we are meant to head. And then, when we get one of those solid breaks in our clumps, towards the end of that current lull, we start to get a little bored and a little antsy, and then hopefully mostly ready for a rapid growth spurt which mainly seems to come from the various “clumps” in our lives.

(I know, random, right?? You are probably reading this quote, scratching your head, and saying, “Huh?” Me too. It must be the “clump effect” on my mind which made me decide that I just had to add this quote to today’s blog.)

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1236. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

Monday – Funday

I’m headed out on a trip to visit with loved ones. I am feeling the need to completely let go of my regular daily routine, and that includes writing the blog. I’ll be back on Thursday or Friday, hopefully with my creative juices all amped up. I’ll miss you. Have a great week!!!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

751. What is your own idea of relaxing?

Soul Sunday

Good morning. Sundays are devoted to poetry on the blog. Recently The Wall Street Journal ran an article about Maksym Kryvtsov, a Ukrainian poet turned soldier. Kryvtsov, who wrote most of his poems about the horrors of the war, perished in battle, on January 7th. He was 33. One of his most well-known poems talked of his “severed arms” that would “sprout as violets in the spring.” This same poem ends with these lines:

My bones

Will sink into the earth

Will become a carcass

My busted rifle

Will rust

Poor thing

My spare clothes and equipment

Will be given to new recruits

Well I’d rather it were spring already

To finally

Bloom

As a violet.

Poetry touches our hearts and our souls in a way that more direct writing cannot seem to do. I suppose that the way to our collective hearts is a windy path, filled with mystery, nuance, feeling, and to surrendering to its ever changing direction. I wrote the poem below, just this morning, before reading again, the poem above by Maksym Kryvtsov, which my husband had kindly laid aside for me a week or so ago. I am humbled by the difference in poetry by a poet who is surrounded by the direness of war, versus a writer who leads an agreeable life, in a country not at war.

On stormy, cold, windy days,

As the rain hammers its surroundings,

Home feels so cozy, comforting, serene.

Curling up in our own corner of the world,

Fills us with the feeling of being nurtured,

By the nesting that we busied ourselves with,

in more agreeable, enticing, seductive weather.

On still, bright, inviting, playful days,

We jauntily leave home for adventures,

Full of confidence, curiosity and calm.

And we often bring home possessions,

Which remind us of our truest selves.

So that when the storms arise again,

We are surrounded by the contentment,

Of our inner selves, displayed in physical form.

Our home, which is an extension of the life of us,

Is our familiar and steadfast, shelter from the storm.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1375. Do you think happiness is a choice?