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Friday, It’s Time to Sparkle

In the summertime, we tend to get a least one hour of rain almost daily, here in Florida, but we also get a ton of sunshine, hence the nickname, ” The Sunshine State.” Last night we got a heavy, soaking rain and this morning the sun is shining through all of the raindrops covering my plants. My plants are sparkling! It’s a beautiful sight to behold.

Fridays are wonderful. Here at the blog, I don’t dig deep on Fridays. On Fridays, I stay at the surface level and I describe things, or books, or websites, or songs, that have made my own life more fun and interesting to experience. Please check out previous Friday posts for more favorites and please add your own favorites to my Comments section.

Here are my favorites for today:

Guerlain Aqua Allegoria line of perfumes – I’ve mentioned Herba Fresca here at the blog before because it is one of my favorite, all-time, refreshing, uplifting perfumes, but lately I have purchased a few other samples from this line (ebay) and I am blown away. They are lovely and clean and unique scents, everyone of them. One of the most unique, delicious scents from this line, utterly titillates me. It is easily a great Friday scent to wear. This scent from the divine Aqua Allegoria line is called “Ginger Piccante.” It’s not going to be for everyone, and it’s not an everyday scent, but for an essence of intrigue and daring and distinctiveness, give it a try!

Kim’s Pointy Earrings – Kim Wexler, from “Better Call Saul” is one of my favorite fictional characters from a television series, of all time. She wears a signature pair of earrings throughout the whole series, that I fell in love with, almost as much as her character. I think that these earrings subtly say, “I’m attractive, but don’t ever underestimate me. I will cut you, if provoked.” I bought a pair from Etsy (they came from Israel and are well made and reasonable priced) but you can get replicas of these earrings, at every price level. Alexis Bittar makes a similar pair of earrings. On an aside, I admire those of you, who wear the same signature things all of the time: a conversation piece of jewelry, or unique, colorful glasses or a signature scent that you wear every single day. I’m not that girl. I get bored easily, and I change it up all of the time, with my jewelry and perfumes, but I do find a lot of comfort in those of you who find your signature stamps, and stay loyal to these items, throughout your lives. I think that trait shows a lot of confidence in what you like.

Kim Wexler (Better Call Saul), Actress TV series

Mrs. Bridge by Evan S. Connell – “Oh Cecilia, you’re breaking my heart, you’re shaking my confidence daily!” (song by Simon and Garfunkel) (Cecilia, how many times have people sung this song to you, while you had a plastered smile on your face, while wondering how long you would have to endure it, as if it were the first time you had ever heard someone sing it to you? I have a very unusual maiden name. I can completely empathize.) Cecilia is one of my awesome readers (I LOVE and appreciate all of my readers, so so much!) who recommended this book for me to read. And I just finished it, and it was heartbreakingly excellent. It is an easy read, and a hard read, all at the same time, because if you are a middle-aged woman, in the middle of facing your own existential crises, you will cringe with self awareness, more than a few times, when reading this book. Mrs. Bridge is considered to be a classic, that never quite gets the attention that it deserves, much like its heroine. If you recall, the movie, “Mr. and Mrs. Bridge” featuring Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward, the movie is partially based on this book. I kept finding myself reflecting on Ordinary People and The Stepford Wives, while reading this thought-provoking, and also feeling-evoking, sparse novel. Thank you for recommending it to me, Cecilia.

Okay, let’s have a fabulous weekend, shall we?? See you tomorrow!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Are You On Strike?

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

I am reading a book that describes a woman who is having trouble keeping all of her life’s responsibilities on track. She is performing all of her roles and duties, lacklusterly, at best. She is coming apart at the seams, but doesn’t quite understand why. She forgets important meetings, she snaps at her kids, and she doesn’t get enough sleep. The author describes the woman as “unintentionally going on strike.”

I thought that wording was so interesting. If we take the time to examine the clues of our own lives, and our own bodies, we may find that we have gone on our own “unintentional strikes”, in protest of how we are going about living our own daily lives.

When workers go on strike, they are saying bravely and forcefully that they are no longer willing to work in the same conditions. They are loudly bringing attention to inequities and unfairnesses that have made their current working conditions intolerable to them. The striking workers are making demands for changes, in order for the workplace to run safely and smoothly again.

Are you on an “unintentional strike”? Are you feeling strained with all of your duties at home and at work and even at leisure? Are there things that you don’t say no to, in fear of disappointing someone, or making someone angry (at the expense of your own exhaustion)? Are you forgetting important details, failing at multi-tasking, feeling grumpy all of the time, being short with others and resorting to passive aggressive behavior? Do you have a lot of unexplained aches and pains in your body? Do you feel lethargic and unmotivated? These could all be signs of an “unintentional strike.” This could be the deepest part of your intuitive heart and soul, holding up picket signs, telling you that something must give. Something(s) has got to go.

I was getting cash out from the ATM yesterday when my husband called. I took the call, but as I was driving away, into rush hour traffic, I started panicking because I couldn’t find my debit card. I was trying to drive, talk to my husband, and locate my ATM card all at the same time. I was distracted and panicky. I wasn’t driving safely, I was half-listening to my husband, and I couldn’t locate the card. I finally told my husband that I would have to call him back. I pulled over. I parked the car and I quickly located my debit card that had fallen between the seat and the console. When I called my husband back, I said, “I’m sorry. I’m not as good at multi-tasking as I used to be.” He said, “Multi-tasking usually just leads to nothing getting done especially well.” I agreed.

Why has “multi-tasking” become the norm? Why do we take pride in being “able” to do 18,000 things at once? Why are anxiety and depression become more and more commonplace? And why can’t we see that we bring a lot of this on to ourselves? How much of what we do, on any given day, is vitally important to our overall health and well-being? Over 2000 years ago, Socrates said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” This quote is often used in a philosophical or a spiritual sense, but isn’t it really quite a practical tool to use? When we examine our own lives, we can figure out what is working, and what isn’t. Our bodies are great navigation tools. What feels good in our life, and what doesn’t? Who feels good in our life, and who doesn’t?

We are our own life’s managers. Our own life is really the only life which we have any kind of control about, in the long term. Are you having an “unintentional strike” against your life manager? A good manager knows how important it is to have a healthy, robust, excited, and appreciated workforce. How is your life manager doing? Are there any rumblings that need to be addressed?

40 Overwhelmed Quotes About Being Burned Out To Help Cheer You Up | YourTango

Throwback Thursday (past popular posts, from the blog):

That Woman

Checklists

I remember a time clearly, when I was a kid, that my teacher told us that our assignment was to write instructions on how to make a banana split sundae. Much to our surprise, she brought the ingredients for these sundaes to school, and she sat in front of the class and started to make banana split sundaes, according to our instructions. What resulted, was a disaster – a comical disaster, but a disaster nonetheless. It turns out that none of our instructions were written explicitly enough, and our teacher made a very clear example of this, with her demonstration (For example, some students forgot to write “get a bowl”, the amounts of ice cream and whipped cream were not specified – you get the picture.) It was a memorable experience, to say the least. I was in grade school when the lesson was taught, and I am now 50. Teachers are amazing.

This old lesson popped back into my head, because we have a couple of summer trips coming up, and we have hired new pet sitters to come into our home. Also adding to the mix, we have a pandemic puppy, Trip, who has never experienced a pet sitter in his short life. Trip is the least friendly dog, out of all three of our dogs, to anyone who is not in our immediate family. He keeps a small circle of trust. So, I have a level of climbing anxiety, as I am writing out the instructions, as to how best to keep our fur friends happy, safe and alive, while we are away.

When I was a teenaged kid, I babysat quite frequently. As a babysitter, I experienced every type of household – neat and prim, all of the of the way to the other end of the spectrum – wild and chaotic. I recall some mothers would write out very explicit directions on a tight, minute by minute time schedule (one particular mother noted in capital letters, which rooms I was not enter at all, as to not to disturb and distort the freshly made vacuum marks on the thick carpeting), while other mothers would just seem so relieved to see me, and they would yell out, “See you some time later!” with the assumption that my goal was to just keep the kids alive, and un-sunburned, until the time when the mother got up her nerve, to show back up. As a teenaged kid, I didn’t experience too much anxiety about any of this. My main goal was to see who had the best snacks in their pantries ,and to save up the money from my $3-an-hour gigs, for a new bright yellow Sony Sportsman cassette player.

Still, I do remember, in a way, appreciating the very explicit directions which some mothers wrote out for me. It left less room for ambiguity and questions. It was easy to just follow a checklist. I didn’t have to think too much, on the job. I often secretly made fun of these mothers with their “uptight” concerns, but they had set me up for success. I knew exactly what they expected, and so if I completed the clear-cut checklist, we all could be assured that I had done my job well, and to her satisfaction. We both breathed a little easier, seeing that there was little room for confusion and error.

As I became a mother myself, and hired babysitters for our children, I fell in-between these two extremes. I would jot down a few notes on a fancy, specific babysitter’s notepad, but with four kids and many pets, my house always naturally just veered towards chaotic. And of course, by the time my kids had babysitters, we had cell phones, so we were always accessible for questions and concerns that the babysitter might have about anyone, or anything.

I remember also, as an exhausted young mother, getting winsome for those days when someone would just hand me a to-do checklist. “Get this done and your golden.” I think that was my biggest lament of my mothering days. I didn’t mind doing any of the chores, I just didn’t want to have to plan it all out. I didn’t want to have to think about anything. I was too tired to think. I remember my sweet husband wanting to give me a break at times, and hauling all of the kids down to McDonalds. But then (not wanting to make any ‘mistakes’) he would call me up, and ask me what he should order for the kids to eat, and that’s when I would want to scream. That’s the Catch-22 of mothering, right? We want someone to give us a break, but then these break-givers have to walk on eggshells, hoping that they are doing things the “right” way (according to us).

Some of my friends are now becoming grandparents. One of my friends was asked to take a grandparenting class, by her daughter, to make sure that she was “up-to-date” on all of the new baby stuff and requirements. Of course, we all got a big giggle out of that, since my friend successfully raised three children of her own. (It’s a wonder any of us are alive and well, isn’t it? Helmets, seatbelts, and the like, were foreign concepts when I was kid.) Still, my friend admits that the class was helpful and eye-opening to see how much had changed, and it preempted a lot of hurt feelings, and helped everyone in the family to be more relaxed, by understanding everyone’s expectations.

So, in conclusion, as soon as I finish this blog post, I will be adding the finishing touches to my pet sitter’s to-do list. I want to make it clear and simple for her, so that we both have peace of mind. In the end, though, I hope that she’ll be mostly be focused on the priority of just keeping our dogs alive and well, without sun-burned paws and noses, for the short while that we are away from them. Possibly, considering all of her years of experience in dog sitting, “Keep them alive and well,” is all that really needs to be put on to the checklist.

“Sometimes our stop-doing list needs to be bigger than our to-do list.” – Patty Digh

I made a huge to do list for today. I just can't figure out who's going to do...

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Let It Flow

My youngest son is home for a few days, and he just walked into my writing area, as I was staring disconcertedly at my screen.

“Sometimes, the words just seem to flow right out of me, and sometimes I just feel stuck and thoughtless,” I said to him. My son had just gotten back from an early morning workout at the gym. “Mom, you write every day. You know, even us hardcore gym guys have ‘rest days’, ya know.”

Sometimes I have so much that I want to write about, that I try to find a way to cram it all into one blog post. You’ve probably noticed those days. My posts become a weird mishmash of ideas with strange, awkward transitions, much like when you are feeling frugal and earthy, and you try to make a meal out of every leftover you have in the refrigerator. I looked up words for what people call these leftover meals: Nosh, Dump Casserole, Mustgo (from everything “must go”), Trainwreck, Creamy Party Surprise, Garbage Soup, Variegated Mush. When I sometimes make one of these leftover meals, and my family all have sneers and someone finally asks, “What IS this?” with barely disguised, disgust in their voices, I just pertly and dismissively, say, “Yum.” And then I gulp it down like it is the best meal I have ever eaten, even if it is awful.

Just like winging it, by making a meal out of leftovers, I often find that I can do the same process with my writing. If I start just typing out one sentence, I often surprise myself, with where this one sentence, ends up leading into my next thoughts. There really is so much wisdom in just taking those first steps.

One step at a time | Steps quotes, Time quotes, Wise quotes

Many times in my life, I have witnessed myself and others, getting caught up on “the whole staircase.” We get engrossed in the details and “in the plan”, and we feel like we can’t take those first steps until “the plan” is perfected and full-proof and airtight. Or sometimes, we take those first steps, and the staircase starts to veer off in a direction that is not part of “the plan”. The staircase is leading to something or somewhere different than we where we originally envisioned it leading, and so we freeze on the landing. We get stubborn about where we want the staircase to lead us, and we grasp on to the hand rail with clenched fists. And all that this obstinance does for us, is to stop our forward motion.

As my son said, we all need rest days, from even our most favorite activities. However, it is important to distinguish the difference between rest and inertia. In physics, the physical laws will state that rest and inertia are generally the same thing. Still, I think there is a subtle difference between rest and inertia, and this difference is in “intention.” Rest, is the act of accumulating and storing up some energy, with the intention to get moving again, whereas, inertia resists movement. Inertia requires force to get going again. Rest hasn’t lost its motivation. Inertia is bored and demotivated and stuck.

I have known quite a few business owners in my life. Many times their businesses got started with detailed plans and visions of exactly what their businesses and products and services would look like, and how their daily activities would flow. The most successful of these businesses (the ones still operating), had goals and visions that were married with a lot of flexibility and curiosity. Some of these amazing businesses barely look like what they originally started out to be.

I think the secret sauce to success in any activity, is to have a thought-out plan, filled with goals and guidelines and visualizations. However, this plan needs to be written in pencil, with a big, bold eraser. This plan needs to have a big helping of “flow” in it. When “flow” is allowed to be part of the “Variegated Mush” of our lives’ actions and plans, the final outcome is often surprisingly, and unexpectedly, more delicious than we could have ever imagined. The final product of anything that has come from “the flow” is almost always, authentically and sincerely “Yum” for everyone involved.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Monday Fun-Day

(credit: Rex Masters, Twitter)

This is going to be short and sweet. I forgot what I was going to write about. Time to put on another pot of coffee. See you tomorrow!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Soul Sunday

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Happy Father’s Day! Happy Soul Sunday. My regular readers know that Sundays are devoted to poetry. The dictionary says this about poetry: “a quality of beauty and intensity of emotion regarded as characteristic of poems.” I think what makes poems special, is that despite the fact that poems are often some of the shortest forms of writing, they hold so much “intensity of emotion”. Poems are powerful in their sensitivities. Poems often have the ability to deliver a big gut punch, or an instant throat lump, or a swift connection to our inner knowing. Poetry is potent. Here is my poem for today:

When your seldom seen tears, flowed at the birth of M,

When you became G’s biggest bussing fan, at Daddy’s Grill.

When you held our giant man-child W, like a baby,

In an attempt to transfer strength and take away the pain.

When you proudly became Dancing Dinosaur,

at the Guides meetings with our baby girl.

When you held every baby, against your big broad chest,

On every vacation, to give them and me, the most lovely rests of our lives.

These are the moments that make me in awe of you.

These are the moments that remind me why I love you like I do.

Your love encompasses our family with your devotion,

Like the warmest blanket, on a cool, dark night.

I am so grateful that every one of them, has a part of you inside.

You have selflessly given each of them, a big chunk of your beautiful heart.

And that is why I know they will always be safe and loved,

Because I listen to your strong and steady and reliable heartbeat,

Every night. It is the most calming, lovely sound in the world, to me.

And it echoes through our children, forever.

Look For It

Almost everything in life is neutral. Almost everything in life falls in the gray areas. We don’t want to believe this because we like absolutes. We are attached to labeling everyone and everything, “good” or “bad” and then looking for all of the evidence to back our labels up. Maybe we should be like children and label everything as “magic” and look for the evidence to back it up. I think that we would be overwhelmed with the confirmation that children are right. Life is magical.

This morning I am surrounded by magic: I am drinking this wonderful, warm elixir called coffee, that is the perfect combination of comforting and stimulating. It tastes and smells divine. Surrounding me, sleeping peacefully, are three gorgeous creatures, basically the pure essence of love, covered in fur. (our dogs) My family is happily doing their favorite activities this morning (sleeping, biking, tennis) and their pleasant, peaceful energy wafts over me and melts into my own happiness, as I do my own favorite activity: writing and communing with you. I am reading my very own thoughts, conveyed on a screen, as quickly as I can type them out. How incredibly magical! There is a slight breeze causing a ripple current in the lake outside of my window, and my windchimes are tinkling softly, serving as background music for the swaying, dancing water. I only really hear the chimes, when I hone in on them. My hearing is magically selective like that, isn’t yours?

Let’s have a magical weekend, my friends. Let’s look for the magic (and not look for the dark, evil Voldemort variety of magic. Although, honestly, isn’t reading and getting lost in an excellent Harry Potter book, created out of J.K. Rowling’s incredible imagination, stunningly magical in itself?). It isn’t hard to find magic. Be like a child and look for it.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Bless You, Friday

I’m kidding! It is actually Friday, the best day of the week!! Happy Friday, friends and readers. On Fridays, I keep everything surface level and I typically list three favorites of mine: songs, or books, or products, or food items or whatevers, and I strongly encourage you to add your favorites to my Comments section. Please check out previous Friday posts for more favorites to try out. Here are three of my favorites for today:

Suspender Earrings – My friend texted a video of Tina Fey chatting with Jimmy Fallon the other day. Being the hilarious people that Tina and Jimmy are, the video was hysterical, but what really kept distracting me, was the unusual earrings that Tina was wearing. They were sparkly rods that seemed to hook into her middle ear. Today’s earrings are full of edginess, and are worn all over the ears (my daughter really likes wearing ear cuffs). These suspender earrings fit into just one pierced hole on your ear lobe, but loop up on the bottom of your inner ear, giving your ears an unusual, unique, modern look, without having to get any extra piercings. Of course, I had to get a pair for myself, and a found a beautiful set on ebay, at an affordable price.

Jobe’s Fertilizer Spikes – My friend has the most beautiful magnolia tree in the middle of her front yard. It is one of the most blooming-est, full of itself, fabulous trees that I have ever seen. Our little magnolia tree, on the other hand, leans on the side of “pitiful.” I asked her the secret to her tree’s gorgeous vitality and she said that she hammers these Jobe’s spikes all around the tree, two times a year. We have started doing this with our tree, and the level of “perky” for our magnolia, is going right up. Interestingly, my husband pointed out that there is a ring of darker green, thicker grass around the tree, where he had placed the Jobe’s spikes. (the proof is in the pudding) You can order a package of these on Amazon.

Bless You Tissue Box – I love this tissue box (also found on Amazon). I keep it on my desk, alongside my adorable, favorite knick-knack, my gorgeous marble goldfish. (unfortunately, this is the only goldfish which I have ever successfully kept “alive” for years) I once went to a yoga class, where we had to do about fifteen minutes of movements to the chant, “I bless myself, I bless myself. I am, I am. I bless myself, I bless myself. I am. I am.” At first the wording felt strange, and indulgent, and perhaps even audacious, but after a while, the chant became very soothing and comforting. It served as a wonderful reminder of all of the power that lies within each one of us. How can you feel comfortable offering “bless yous” to anyone else, if you don’t have the ability to offer yourself blessings?

Bonus, if you are so inclined, here is the I Bless Myself chant:

Many blessings to all of you and yours this weekend!!!! See you tomorrow.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Red-faced

“Ladies, I have to apologize for the crude remark that I made the last time that we were together. I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to be so offensive,” said one tennis mom, the other night to me and another friend.

“Huh? What are you talking about? What remark?” we both asked our friend incredulously.

She then relayed “the crude remark” that she had made, that I had vaguely heard her say, back when we had last been together, over three weeks prior. It wasn’t a racist remark. There weren’t any swear words involved, and the remark wasn’t insulting to anyone. At most, what she had said was a little raunchy, and definitely funny. And I actually enjoy those kinds of remarks that make me giggle, and turn a little red.

I grabbed her hands. “I can’t believe that you tortured yourself over that, for three weeks! Why, my friend, why?”

But honestly, I could relate. I probably torture myself after any social event, with several long ruminations and self-floggings about at least one thing that I did, or I said, or I wore, or I spilled, or about the thing that got stuck in my teeth, or when I laughed when I shouldn’t have laughed, or when I made everyone uncomfortable when I cried, or when I rolled my eyes too dramatically about something insignificant. Was I an attention hog? Was I a boring wallflower? I go over and over and over, “the meaning” of a certain backwards look that I perceived someone gave to me, or the awkward hugs given, or if one or all of my stories fell under the TMI category. (Too Much Information) Did I repeat the same story again (the story everyone has already heard) eight times in one night? How bad was my breath?

This apology from my friend, made me reflect a little bit, on myself. Mostly, I was happy that my lovely friend was brave enough to bring it up, and was comfortable and vulnerable enough with us, to do so. I hope that my friend felt better and reassured after she talked to us. I hope that she also felt a little silly. I hope that the next time she says something a little spicy, she either immediately apologizes (?) (For what? Should anyone apologize for being human and fun and interesting?) or better yet, I hope that she lets herself off the hook. Right away. If I am offended by something someone says, it is my job to address it. And if my temperament, humor, energy, beliefs, and interests are not a good match for someone else, that’s not a travesty. It just means that we are not a good match for being friends. No big deal. If anything, if we spend too much time worrying about how we are coming across to others, we become chameleons with empty relationships, because our truest selves are hiding behind a myriad of masks. There is nothing lonelier than being lonely and unseen in a relationship, because you can’t be your true self. Finally, the big ouch is, nobody really cares about what you did or said or wore or ate or relayed, etc. Most of us, go home after any social event, and in a extremely self-absorbed fashion, recount our own every word and action, wondering what did EVERYBODY think about us? Here’s the rub – they didn’t (at least not more than very fleetingly). This is because the others have been thinking about themselves, this whole time, just like you.

Helen Fielding Quote: “No one is thinking about you. They're thinking about themselves, just like

People are not thinking about you. They are thinking about what you're thinking about them. - Post by EpicRawr14 on Boldomatic

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

ICF

“Help is the sunny side of control.” – Anne Lamott

I think that I will be having to learn the “help/control” lesson for the rest of my life. I try to absorb the lesson. I really do. And it’s not that I believe that I am the “Great and Powerful All-Knowing Oz”, although I am positive that’s how I come across to the deeply loved others in my life, many times. (Thank you for still loving me. I’ve heard, “Don’t worry, honey, we know your heart,” from more than a few of you, for more than a few times.) For me, it’s more that so many of my own life lessons have come by the hard way, with a lot of experiences, and books read, and fervent prayers, and deep meditation, and intensive therapy, that I want to believe I can transfer all of that hard-earned knowledge and skills to my loved ones, in the form of quite a few simple, but bossy edicts, so that all of those who I care about can experience “free and easy”, sooner than I ever did. And even closer to the truth, I want to feel safe from the pain of seeing my loved ones get hurt, from experiences that I feel could have been easily avoided and “fixed”, if they would just let me in, to take over the wheel.

It’s really hard to stay in our own lanes and watch others who we care about struggling in their own lanes with problems, that from our point of view, look relatively simple to fix. It’s really easy to focus on other people’s problems in order to not have to put the microscope on our own selves. Other people’s problems aren’t nearly as hidden and painful and shameful and daunting and emotionally charged, to us, as our own problems. Still, if another adult is struggling in their own lane, and we offer to help them, and they refuse, we must honor that. We must wish them well, and be on our way, driving down the lane of our own life’s path. At the same token, we must keep good boundaries, protecting our own lane, so that we don’t allow other people’s problems and issues and insecurities, to spill on to our own paths, causing obstacles and hazards and trauma, which are not our responsibility to deal with.

It was a hard, hard pill to swallow, when I finally faced the lesson that a lot of my “helping” wasn’t completely out of the pure goodness of my heart. A lot of my “helping” of others, came from out of my own fears. And when I am fearful, that’s when my Inner Control Freak comes roaring out, like a ten foot tall Cher in a Native American headdress. My ICF thinks that if she can just “fix” everyone and everything, and put everyone and everything back in line, with the logic and the reason that, “DUH!” makes so. much. sense. (or, at least makes total sense to my own bold ICF), than nothing could possibly go wrong, and we could all sleep easier, and more peacefully for the rest of our lives. Right. (insert eyeroll)

I have a lot to deal with in my own lane. I have an Inner Control Freak who looks like a Cher impersonator, sitting in the front seat with me. She’s hard to keep down. But I do notice that when I keep my eyes ahead to my own future, and I only stop for the other drivers, who legitimately need and want some help, the path of my life is easier. I do sleep more peacefully. And my traveling companions, seem to enjoy my company a lot better, too, when I don’t try to contort myself into their GPS systems. When I remember that we all have the same Guide, who knows The Way better than any of us, that’s when I can let go, and let the wind blow in my hair, as we all move along towards the glorious horizon.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.