Happy Halloween!! On our past trip, I overheard the story of a little kid asking for a grilled cheese, “but without the cheese, please.” This brought a smile to my face. That’s what I love about Halloween – the vicarious thrill I feel and the automatic smiles that come with that thrill, when I see the joy on the little ones’ faces. The children literally become the super heroes, the princesses, the sports heroes, the pilots, the witches, etc. and they get rewarded for their pure audaciousness and creativity and mischief.
In a dangerous world where the much-too-easy-to-do wrong click on a computer’s website can show a child what real horror looks like, in real live children’s faces, all over this planet, thank goodness that many children can have a night of escape into make-believe and fun and sweets galore. For at least one night, the children can believe that magic is real and that they, themselves have great power in commanding a simple spell – “Trick or Treat.”
Our children need more lightness and fun. Our children need to see more smiles and acts of kindness, everywhere that they look. Our children need us to believe in them and their futures, by us boldly taking the reins and owning our own mistakes, and steering our ships to better, safer, clearer routes, so that when our children embark onto the harbor of their own adult lives, the real horror won’t be so easy to be found. And the magic will be everywhere.
“A person should always choose a costume which is in direct contrast to her own personality.” –Lucy Van Pelt,It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown
“Magic is really very simple, all you’ve got to do is want something and then let yourself have it.” –Aggie Cromwell, Halloweentown
“Just because I cannot see it, doesn’t mean I can’t believe it!” –Jack Skellington, The Nightmare Before Christmas
“The farther we’ve gotten from the magic and mystery of our past, the more we’ve come to need Halloween.” –Paula Guran
“There is a child in every one of us who is still a trick-or-treater looking for a brightly-lit front porch.” –Robert Brault
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
I’m back!! As promised, Mommy always comes back. I missed you all. I definitely missed writing my blog, but I learned something important by not writing at all, on this particular trip. For a true “getaway”, you must escape all of your everyday life – even the good stuff. By really experiencing life completely out of your element, it makes it really easy to sort out what is important to you. The people/places/stuff that you miss the most about home, are what’s really important to you. These are your priorities. These are the vital things that make your life hum to your own unique inner rhythms. You also get clear about the other stuff in your routines, that aren’t so important, and you realize things that might need to be changed or finessed, in order to live a life which is more authentic and contenting to you.
It is also surprisingly shocking to me, every. single. time. after vacation, just how much needs to be done when you get home. I have piles of mail to sort, piles of laundry to do, piles of souvenirs to find places for, piles of groceries to buy, piles of emails to go through and unusual surprises to deal with, like the fact that my web server for this blog, must have had an entire major update while I was gone, and I had to watch a tutorial and go through security measures more stringent than the ones on my bank accounts, in order to load this precious space back up on my computer. Welcome back. Ugh.
I saw a shortened version of this beautiful thought, on a pillow in a shop in the beautiful town that we visited. Here is the full version of “I Want to Age Like SeaGlass” by Bernadette Noll:
“I want to age like sea glass. Smoothed by tides, not broken. I want the currents of life to toss me around, shake me up and leave me feeling washed clean. I want my hard edges to soften as the years pass—made not weak but supple. I want to ride the waves, go with the flow, feel the impact of the surging tides rolling in and out.
When I am thrown against the shore and caught between the rocks and a hard place, I want to rest there until I can find the strength to do what is next. Not stuck—just waiting, pondering, feeling what it feels like to pause. And when I am ready, I will catch a wave and let it carry me along to the next place that I am supposed to be.
I want to be picked up on occasion by an unsuspected soul and carried along—just for the connection, just for the sake of appreciation and wonder. And with each encounter, new possibilities of collaboration are presented, and new ideas are born.
I want to age like sea glass so that when people see the old woman I’ll become, they’ll embrace all that I am. They’ll marvel at my exquisite nature, hold me gently in their hands and be awed by my well-earned patina. Neither flashy nor dull, just a perfect luster. And they’ll wonder, if just for a second, what it is exactly I am made of and how I got to this very here and now. And we’ll both feel lucky to be in that perfectly right place at that profoundly right time.
I want to age like sea glass. I want to enjoy the journey and let my preciousness be, not in spite of the impacts of life, but because of them.“
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Did you watch the interview with the pop singer Pink last night on 60 Minutes? She’s turned her lifelong rebelliousness, “anti-pop” image, into a successful, sell-out concert crowd for 25 years. The interviewer, Cecilia Vega asked Pink if her famous snarl meant that Pink is a woman “that you don’t want to mess with.”
Pink said this: “Well, this is a woman you don’t wanna mess with is a true statement. I know what certain people think of when they look at me, down to the fact that I’m muscular, I’m outspoken, and I have short hair. I’m possibly a dude— definitely a lesbian. People sort of put you in a box no matter what you look like. And my box happens to be if you’re outspoken and you don’t sort of bend to societal norms, then you’re scary and dangerous. . . . .The reality is I am the goofiest, most fun-loving person that will possibly kick your ass if I have to.”
Pink often feels like the outsider in her group of peers, but she doesn’t care. She says this:
“We sold three million tickets in the last six months, but you don’t really hear about it unless you went. So at the end of the day, do I give a –it who talks about me? As long as the mom and the daughter, or the dad who’s in the Pink t-shirt, as well as his daughter and her three friends, had a fantastic time– or the gay couple that came together and felt super safe at my show because no one heckled them, that’s what really matters.”
Friends, embrace your own unique brand of “weird” this week and start turning it into your superpower.
*******Notice: My husband and I will be celebrating our 29th wedding anniversary at the end of this week, and we have festivities and getaways planned, so I may choose to write every day, or I may not. This week is a week which I am dedicating to celebrating the most important union of my life. I said to my husband, “I guess that 29 years, isn’t a particularly special anniversary.” And he replied, “Well, we got married on the 29th. Twenty-nine years on the 29th, so I’d say that’s pretty special.” My husband has a way of putting my heart a-flutter, unexpectedly, all of time. He is my BIG love and that is where my focus will be this week. So please don’t worry if I don’t post every day. I’m taking it as it comes, and how I feel . . . . . . but as I always promised my four children when they were left with a sitter, “Mommy always comes back.”
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Good morning. Welcome to poetry day on the blog. I’ve been sitting here for a couple of hours, not allowing myself to leave my writing nook, until I wrote a poem. I felt like a child, who in her defiance, did not want to eat her peas, but was being commanded to stay at the table until she ate all of her peas. The last few weeks, I’ve been dodging my own heart and my own deep feelings, by publishing other people’s poems on Soul Sundays instead of my own. Poetry gets to the feels and lately, it’s really hard to feel the gush of feels coming from everything that is happening around us, isn’t it? So, I finally “ate my peas” and my poem for today is below. It felt good and nourishing to write it. “My peas” added to my vitality. Add to your own vitality today, and write a poem. Stay at the table and eat your peas. You won’t regret it.
In times when we must face the barbarism that lies within all of us, in pure sight for all to see,
the poetry does not flow. The heart wants to stay in its safe room, pretending that it is safe.
It is the heart who writes the poetry, but the heart is numb, beating in its anesthetic of desentization, which finally arose from the overflowing, salty mix of blood and tears of despair.
Hearts can only hold so much pain, until they turn into hard, lifeless stones which makes them the hearts of monsters.
Monsters don’t write poetry. They coldy snuff it out with their hearts of stone.
We must give our hearts life. We must bravely let our hearts leave their safe rooms, to breathe in the fullness of life. We must never let the poetry die.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Hello!! Happy Friday!! Happy Favorite Things Friday!! I am extremely excited because we have a new mattress arriving today. (these are the things that get you really revved up, when you are in your 50s) It’s long overdue, so I am anticipating a particularly wonderful, restful night’s sleep tonight. (Fingers crossed) In other news, I saw two coyotes last night when I went outside to turn off a Halloween decoration, before we went to bed. They were bigger than other coyotes I have seen in the past and they were walking across my neighbor’s yard, who lives across the street (these particular neighbors don’t have any pets, thank goodness). Supposedly, the Navajos believed that seeing a coyote was an omen of good fortune. Works for me!
Today’s favorite on my favorite day of the week, is Tula Blue jewelry. I recently purchased a Tula Blue bracelet at a local store and I liked it so much, I ordered more from their website. https://tulabluerope.com/ The creator of Tula Blue is an active young woman who has always lived in beachy areas. She created this line of jewelry to be versatile, timeless, complimentary with other jewelry styles, and to never have to be taken off when taking showers or when swimming in pools or in the ocean. Tula Blue jewelry is comprised of semi-precious stones knotted on tough, tan-colored mariner’s line. There are so many styles and lengths to choose from, it’s hard to pick just one. If you have the time and you want some inspiration, read the “About” section to see just how far this wonderful jewelry company has come from its very beginnings. Tula Blue also still has an Etsy store if you prefer to buy the jewelry from there. (Interestingly, “Tula” means balance. We are in the middle of two eclipses, so this is a wonderful, clearing time to figure out what is out of balance in your own life. What do you need more of in your life? What do needs to be let go of, in order to create more space for what you need more of, in your life? I, myself, do not need more jewelry, so I guess that I will have let go of some of my older jewelry, so that I can make space for some more jewelry. 😉 And at this moment, I need more coffee, in order to feel more balanced and alive, so good-bye! Enjoy your day! See you tomorrow.)
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Logic was my favorite class that I took in college. I took it to fulfill my Humanities credit requirement. It was taught out of the Philosophy department, but the class was more like figuring out math puzzles. It wasn’t a lot of writing, like I had expected, but still, I loved it. I actually looked forward to the out-of-class work. Most of my Logic class was working out proofs such as: if A=B, and B=C, then it follows that A=C. I like it when I can get out of my emotionality, and I am able to look at situations with my clear, logical mind. I like it when things make sense.
So, using my most logical part of my mind, I confidently make this statement: It is illogical to ever feel insecure in yourself. Why? Because you are one-of-a-kind. There is no one in this world who is or was, exactly the same as you. Even if you are an identical twin, it is impossible for you both to have experienced the exact same experiences, with the same exact consequences every single second of your individual lives.
No one ever says, “That’s the best Mona Lisa.” Why? Because there is only ONE authentic Mona Lisa. Now some people may not be impressed with the Mona Lisa. So what? Some people may like other paintings better. Again, so what? Some people may think that the Mona Lisa is the greatest painting that exists in this world. And again, so what? There are no other Mona Lisas in this world. There may be imitations of the Mona Lisa, but that’s just it, they are just imitations. A painting can be judged to be the closest imitation to the Mona Lisa that exists, but then that just makes that particular painting, itself – “the best imitation of the Mona Lisa.” And the Mona Lisa still stands as THE Mona Lisa.
There is no true competition. Yes, there are games in our lives that we compete in, and there are job offers that are limited to one recipient, and on Black Friday, one person may beat out you for that last doorbuster $50 HDTV. But those are just competitions experienced throughout your one unique life. No one else will have the same exact series of competitions played out in their lives. You will win some. You will lose some. So what?
When we feel insecure it brings out the worst in us, doesn’t it? Jealousy, passive aggressiveness, control, anger, meanness, pettiness, cruelty, usually comes out our own shadows when we are feeling “less than”, or badly about ourselves. Do you find it hard to be kind when you, yourself, are feeling on top of the world? Of course not! It’s easy when we are feeling great to only notice daisies and rainbows and cute puppies and cupcakes for everyone! But on a bad day, that jackass who rode by in his beautiful, brand new Ferrari probably got that “over-the-top/too flashy” car undeservedly from ill-gotten funds, right? Doesn’t he know that his Ferrari’s cost could probably feed a dozen hungry children for years and years on end?? So you are justified in snidely cutting him off, or smirking when he gets pulled over in a traffic stop, right?
Is it possible that Ferrari guy, is a self-made person who created a wonderful company out of his garage that now provides a comfortable lifestyle for hundreds of families with newly created jobs? Is it possible that Ferrari guy gives more to charities than you will even make in your lifetime? Is it possible that Ferrari guy is a spoiled rotten, trust fund baby who inherited all of his money from his great-grandfather, who was a mafia kingpin? Again, the answer to all of these questions is: so what? What has that got to do with you, Mona Lisa? You are Mona Lisa. Keep your nose in your own one-of-a-kind life, Mona. No one else gets to live it but you. What are you doing with your one and only life? You can get inspired by Ferrari guy if you want to, or you can be disgusted with him, if you want, as well. You, alone, are feeling that sense of inspiration or that pit of disgust in this moment that you are reading this sentence.
Again, I repeat my logical supposition: There is no “you” better than you. There is no “you” worse than you. You are you. You are the only you. It is illogical to ever feel insecure in yourself because there is no other “you” to compare yourself to, nor will there ever be. Even if you are cloned, it will be impossible for your clone to experience the exact set of experiences, relationships, coincidences, lucky breaks, and consequences to actions than you are experiencing in this time period. If you can see my supposition to be true, does it follow that Ferrari guy shouldn’t be a blip in your mind? Does it follow that your own authenticity is inimitable, as hard as the imitators may try? Does it make sense to try to be an imitator when you, yourself, are a one-of-a-kind treasure? Does it do good to remember that every single being you come across today, including every blade of grass that you walk on, is a one-of-a-kind treasure never to be repeated again? The Mona Lisa is protected by great, complicated security measures. Millions of people around the world spend money to spend a couple of minutes gazing at her, for maybe once in their lifetimes. All you have to do, right now, is to look in the mirror in order to see something at least, as precious and as rare as THE Mona Lisa.
Try to go through life just for today, applying my logical supposition. Is it possible that the world could appear wholly different to you with this logical lens? You may say, “So what?” And that’s fine. Your responses are uniquely yours and these responses will determine how you experience your one and only precious life, and they also will determine how others experience you. If you believe that you needn’t ever feel insecure again (because of the logical proof which shows that it is silly to do so), than your shadow side will have a much harder time popping out of your psyche, with all of the simple, beautiful, logical light shining brightly upon it.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Yesterday, I decided to follow my own advice. I became Mrs. Potato Head (see yesterday’s blog post) on a scavenger hunt. I needed to get out of my usual routine rut. The maori mask above is what started my wild goose chase. I suppose what really started this whole adventure, was that Ralphie, our Labrador retriever, in exuberance and excitement for my husband gathering balls to be thrown into our pool for retrieving, knocked over a plant which we have had in our possession for over 27 years. This plant has lived with us since it first adorned our first son’s nursery. The ceramic pot which housed it, miraculously had lasted that long, too, through several moves to several homes in three different states. Thankfully, the plant survived, but the pot was dust. So I went to my favorite local nursery, which is so wondrous, you feel like you are in fairyland when you are there. Butterflies swarm the vivid colored plants everywhere that you look. While there, I purchased another fantastic pot for our precious plant and then I decided that I must also have the magnificent Maori mask decoration, too. (see above) Honestly, there were about 300 different lawn decorations I would have loved to bring home, too, including a life sized concrete collie, and a giant, colorful pot shaped like a pufferfish, but (probably by my husband’s design and foresight, in order that I don’t bring home too many large, strange, cluttery collections of concrete figurines), I don’t drive a pickup truck. Anyway, the Maori mask was signed by the artist, so I looked up the artist on the internet. (I figured I didn’t want our Maori to be lonely. I thought that perhaps he may need another kitschy friend.) It turns out that the maker of the Maori is a local guy. The artist of this mask refers to himself as a “yardist”. (I love this title. I may have to become a “yardist”, too.) His garden artwork consists of zany, brightly colored Tikis, cheeky oranges with sailor hats, and his top-featured “Pot Heads”, all having a mid-century flair to them. From his Instagram, I tracked down a local store that carries shelves of his artwork, and I purchased a Garden Girl, which is part of his “Pot Head” collection:
My Garden Girl will not be lonely. I love Pot Heads. I have collected various Pot Heads throughout the years (made by all different artists/yardists). I have Pot Heads all over my yard. Here are a couple of other Pot Heads who live at our home:
Now you would think this particular adventure and its story, in itself, would be enough for one day, but wait, there’s more. Happy with my purchase of my lovely new Garden Girl Pot Head, I headed to my car, and I crossed a little nature/bike trail that we have here, which runs through miles of our local beach towns. On the trail I noticed a black mailbox, with a large sign that said, Love Letters on it. I was admittedly curious, so when I got to my car, I went straight to the internet, on my phone, and that’s when I discovered the story of the Love Letters mailboxes.
It turns out that a local young lady was suffering some heartbreak after a toxic relationship ended, and so she would go to a rocky spot near one of our beaches every single day, in order to process her feelings and sometimes write them out. She found comfort and healing in doing this and she wondered if other people did the same thing. So on a whim, she placed a mailbox there, in between some rocks, with a LoveLetters sign on it, and in the mailbox, she placed a notebook and some pens, with a note that encouraged people to write their own love letters in it. She welcomed them to sign their letters or to keep them anonymous, whichever they preferred. The young lady was amazed at how many letters that she would read, every few days when she would return to her spot. It gave her joy that her special spot gave so many other people comfort, too, and she felt connected to these people, despite never having met them. Interestingly, she kept her mailbox secret from her friends and family, but when she witnessed how many people utilized the mailbox and wrote their own Love Letters, she decided to tell her loved ones about it. They all thought that the mailboxes were a wonderful idea, and they encouraged her to make more of them. Now there are dozens of these LoveLetters boxes sprinkled all over our area, and beyond. Daynie Cutler, the creator of the Love Letters mailboxes says that the most poignant letter that she has ever read was a love letter from a father to his daughter who had passed away two years previous, but she feels touched and moved by them all. So, did I go back and read some of the letters in the Love Letters mailbox that I had stumbled upon? Of course, I did! And they were beautiful. Some spoke of the pure joy of celebrating milestone birthdays with their favorite people. One was from a soldier thanking his friends and family for sending notes and packages to him while he was away and how happy he was to be back home with them. Another letter, promised that the young couple writing the letter would come back to this same spot and get engaged to be married in a few years. This is the letter that really put in a lump in my throat:
I wonder if these people have any idea just how much they mean to this writer? She/he loves them “with all that I am.” His or her people sent her/his loneliness packing!! Sometimes the depth of our love can be so hard to express. How wonderful to have a safe place to send a love letter out into the Universe! How wonderful that there are people like the quirky “yardist” and the Love Letters mailbox creator, Daynie Cutler, who bravely put their full, joyful, vulnerable selves “out there” which genuinely encourages others to allow themselves to do the same! Despite all of the negativity, and the pain, and the evil and the sadness that is out there in our world, there is so much good. Be a potato head today! Go to a wonderful nursery. Write a love letter. Be curious to look for the good. You will find it everywhere. Sometimes you will find good in the most surprising of places. Do it. Look for the good. It will do you good. Then please come back to here on the blog and tell us about what you found in my Comments section. It will do us all some good.
Here is my love letter to you, my readers: Simply stated, I love you. I am so utterly grateful that you come here and read my blog. I feel so “heard” and “seen” despite never meeting most of you in person. You have made a huge difference in my life. You have helped me to safely and bravely speak my truth and given me a place to truly be myself. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
I was going through some writer’s block this morning and then I saw this meme above. Isn’t this a fun idea? It’s not like these people are only offering potatoes to trick-or-treaters. Kids get to choose between another piece of the same old/same old candy, or they get to brag and tell the crazy story at school about getting a potato for Halloween.
Don’t we all need a random potato in a pile of the usual candy? There is something wonderful about being oddly surprised. When something unusual happens (and not a “bad” unusual), it spawns a little bit of delight in us, doesn’t it? So much of our every days are made up of our rote habits and routines. Even our holidays become so “traditional” that we rarely shake things up. We put the wreath and the tree in the usual spots, barely even thinking about what we are doing.
Let’s all add a potato into today’s basket of candy. Got to a grocery store you never go to, to see what they are offering up. If you’re “doom scrolling”, try a different news website than you usually check out, to scare yourself silly. Make breakfast for dinner. (the last time I did this, my family thought it was the best meal they had eaten in a long while) Listen to a song in a foreign language. (I found this song the other day and I can’t stop playing it.) It’s wonderful!
I like to watch animals in nature, or even our own dogs. They never cease to surprise me. The other day, Trip, our Boykin spaniel was violently barking and snarling at some enterprising young men my husband had hired to wash our windows. We all wanted Trip to “hush up” in a big way but none of our scolding was stopping him from his angry rant. In fact, our scolding was giving his tantrum explosive fuel. Then, Ralphie, our Labrador retriever disappeared. He came back with Trip’s favorite blue spiky ball and he placed it at Trip’s feet. Trip can never resist this ball. He picked it up in his mouth. Problem solved! Hot potato! Our dog has more sense than we do.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
RIP – Suzanne Somers I was such a fan of Three’s Company. It always made me laugh and Suzanne’s character, Krissy was probably the funniest. Here are some of Suzanne Somers’ best quotes:
“All my careers had hit walls at various points, but I made sure to reinvent myself and kept going.”
“Creativity is life.”
“What I really need is for people to know that I don’t just do this, I do this and this and this and this. We all have creativity in us and we all are multi-dimensional and we are all interested in a lot of things… and that women are fabulous. We can handle a lot of things.”
“I sell my problems. I’m a woman with problems. I’ve had problems since the day I was born. And I have found a way to turn my problems into assets.”
“Writing is my greatest passion because I can share the things that matter most to me with you.”
“Wisdom is the gift of aging; no young person can have or buy it. My success was and is self-evident. I’m alive. I’ve lived. I’ve thrived and have grown as a person. I’m now healthier than ever. Who can argue with that?”
“I’ve learned to follow the flow that life takes you on. Don’t fight it because you’ll probably end up doing the right thing.”
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
