Monday – Funday

Credit: @Titsay, Twitter

Summer slows things down, in a different way than winter does. Summer comes after Spring, a season of rapid growth and change, and so Summer turns up the heat, in order to slow things down. It says, let’s take a pause and let’s just bask and simmer in everything that spring has brought forth. Let’s shine the light bright on everything that has come forth, and let’s just watch it all beautifully burst at the busting seams. Let it all just sparkle and explode and rejoice. Winter is an introverted, reticent, quiet, slow season. Summer is an easygoing, yet extroverted, leisurely, lulling slow season. Spring and Fall are the moments of movement and rapid change in our lives. Summer and Winter tell us to slow it all down and just be.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Weightless

Yesterday, I spent a little bit too much time ruminating in my fear and my worries and my disappointments. It didn’t help that I had woken up in the morning to a terrible dream in which I had been told by a doctor that I had throat cancer. I spazzed out on that one. Interestingly, about half of the hundreds of dream interpretation websites which I looked at, said that this was actually an excellent dream that foretold fortune and happiness and lovely surprises. Nice. Let me tell you, Dreams, “There are much kinder ways to tell me that good things lie ahead.”

Also, yesterday morning, my son texted a picture from his first medical school class. It was occurring on Zoom, in his teensy little apartment bedroom, for eight hours straight. Sigh. Thanks again, Coronavirus. So awful to see you again!

The great mask debate is in full force (and obviously on national display) here again in Florida, and my daughter starts her senior year of high school tomorrow. The ugly vibes are swirling on the news, and in social media, and in the neighborhood and like everyone else, I am so, so, so tired of it all. I had tricked myself, earlier this summer, that with the vaccinations, Covid was practically a thing of the past, and instead it has come back with an ugly vengeance. Some of my closest friends, despite being vaccinated, are in quarantine, healing from Covid infections. Luckily they have seemingly mild cases, so far.

So those three paragraphs above, show you where my mindset (and heartsick) was yesterday, and even into last night, as I crawled into bed. I don’t like that mindset. I don’t like negativity. It doesn’t feel good. As I was waiting to go to sleep, and I was thinking that I really didn’t care to have anymore scary dreams, I went to my phone and I looked up “the most comforting, reassuring thought in the world.”

Over a decade ago, when my family and I were the poster kids for the Great Recession, and we were watching our savings go down the drain like rushing water, this Bible verse helped me to get through those tough times (Matthew 6: 28-30):

28 And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, 29 yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?

This verse made a lot of sense to me and it became my daily mantra. And thankfully, we made it through the Great Recession just fine. Last night, though, I wanted a new, fresh mantra. My current worries and stresses are more about the health of my family, and of my friends, and of our world, and maybe even my own mental health. My worries are more about the overall health and well-being of everyone I love, including our Mother Earth. So, when I searched up “the most comforting, reassuring thought in the world” last night, the search wasn’t as satisfactory as I wanted it to be. It turns out that there are about 18 million comforting thoughts to pick from.

My love language is the written word. I love to read. I love to write. I love comforting thoughts. My search had me strumming through hundreds and hundreds of uplifting verses and quotes, many that I had already seen, and had already read before, many, many times. So many of these quotes talked about the fruitlessness of worrying. Duh. But that’s not particularly comforting when you are stuck in the worry cycle, which has taken up a life of its own, in your head. It’s hard to find the “off button” for the Worry Cycle, at that point. So reading about how taxing worrying and anxiety is, to your body and to your spirit, is honestly, at times, just more upsetting and worrying, than anything close to being reassuring and comforting.

I was frustrated that there was not one simple consensus as to what is the “the most comforting, reassuring thought in the world”. So, I figured that I might as well take a few screenshots of quotes that at least, resonated with me. This quote was very similar to my favorite Bible verse:

“Don’t try to force anything. Let life be a deep Let-Go. God opens millions of flowers every day without forcing their buds.” – Osho

This one has always made sense to me:

“You are the sky. Everything else is just the weather.” – Pema Chodron

And as I was beating myself up angrily for being such a Wanda Worrier/Debbie Downer/Negative Nancy, this one really struck home:

“I just give myself permission to suck. I find this hugely liberating.” – John Green

But then, some kind of Divine Intervention happened. Without searching for it, I somehow ended up reading a scientific article that talked about comforting music. My guardian angel must have been saying to me, “Girl, you don’t need any more words. You need to get out of that silly little pissy-missy mind of yours, if you want to have a good night’s sleep, and a hope for a more positive tomorrow.” The article that I miraculously landed on, said that this ONE song, created by professional sound therapists, has proven to reduce anxiety by 65%, and shows a 35% reduction in any one person’s typical physiological resting rate. This song is wordless. I played the song as I was trying to fall asleep. And I slept so soundly. My husband didn’t know that we were both being “treated” by this song last night, because he was already asleep when I played it, but this morning, the first thing that he remarked to me was how well he had slept last night. The lesson I gleaned from this experience was that we shouldn’t get so stuck in trying to control the ways in which we are going to be comforted, or fixed, or reassured, or loved to sleep. When we do the “deep Let-Go”, the Universe gives us exactly what we need. I slept incredibly well last night. I don’t recall any negative dreams. I feel comforted. I feel reassured this morning. It turns out that last night, for me, Marconi Union’s “Weightless” was “the most comforting, reassuring thought in the world,” and it is not even a thought. It doesn’t even have words. Last night’s comfort came from pure sound. Be open to every amazing resource available to us, friends. Keep the faith. We are loved. We are protected. All is well.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Wandering and Pondering

It’s a deliciously cozy, rainy Saturday here. I love the all-over relaxed feel, in every part of my body. I love that my coffee tastes particularly warm and soothing. I love that the wind is just strong enough to lightly strum my wind chimes, so that their sound is pleasant and pacifying versus annoying and jarring. I think that I’ll light some candles and just breathe a while. Here are some tidbits of wisdom that I pulled off of Twitter this morning, a perfect morning to do so, to allow for some lazy mind wandering and pondering . . . .

Be someone who makes you happy. – FofF (Twitter)

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Life. (Twitter)

Anyone can love a rose, but it takes a lot to love a leaf. It’s ordinary to love the beautiful, but it is beautiful to love the ordinary. – WISE WORDS (Twitter)

Life is worth savoring. Stop rushing through everything. If we are going to revel in the happy times we have to be able to exist peacefully in the bad times too. Stop to smell the roses. But also stop to feel the thorns. – 30 Second Therapy (Twitter)

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Think Smarter (Twitter)

No Explanation Needed

I’m so sorry that I didn’t do my usual “Favorite Things Friday” post yesterday.  My equilibrium is completely off with all of the hubbub we’ve had going on around here.  This is the first major holiday season that I have blogged through and I don’t think I prepared myself adequately for what that would mean to be there for my readers, but also for my family, my guests and quite frankly, also for myself.  We also had an emergency with my elderly collie, Lacey.  She has stabilized, thank goodness, but she put us through quite a scare and a long visit at the emergency vet, right in the middle of everything.  So if you sensed that my writing is a little “off”, the truth is I’m a little “off” right now and my writing is definitely an extension of “me.”

I was flipping through my notebook and I was looking for quotes that talked about equilibrium, but instead I found this:

“Life is so much simpler when you stop explaining yourself to people and just do what works for you.” – unknown

By middle age, I would love to have already figured this out.  But I haven’t.  Here I am, explaining myself to my readers.  I also like this one:

“Tension is who you think you should be.  Relaxation is who you are.” – unknown

Honestly, the last week, I have been vacillating between tension and relaxation.  As wonderful as it has been to reconnect with those I love, I am eager to get back to our normal schedule and to have some quiet time to myself, to digest my thoughts and experiences.

“I’m sorry I have not been myself.  I’m busy working on my new self.” – unknown