Tag: poignant

Blessings

+ Yesterday was our daughter’s birthday and she happens to be visiting us. We had a delightful day together, mixing in shopping, eating and errands. It’s been my favorite Monday of the year so far. We did her birthday “freebie” tour and loaded up on treats from Starbucks, Sephora, Panera and others. When she was a little girl (our daughter turned 22 yesterday, so her “little girl stage” was definitely a little while ago) and I’d be taking her along for chores and errands on her various birthdays, she never failed to chirp out to anyone in earshot that it was her birthday. And she always ended up with a pile of smiles, treats and well-wishes, even before she had a phone full of apps offering birthday surprises. This unabashadley accepting the deserved joy of her birthday, is a long-standing tradition that I hope that my one and only little girl, keeps up for the rest of her life. Joy is free, and it is here for the taking.

+ I know that the blog has been quiet lately. I’m in one of my “soaking it all up” stages in life. With our two sons’ weddings and our daughter’s college graduation quickly approaching, I’ve done everything that I can to internally slow down and to make sure that I am capturing what these “moments before” really look like, feel like, and seem like, to me, both externally and internally. I’ve been trying to capture the entire picture in slow motion, and to sit with it all in gratitude and wonder. Soaking it all up feels like a giant crescendo or wave, filled with emotion, memories, perceptions, hopes, fears, surprise, pride . . . . it’s like taking the biggest swallow of life that you’ve taken in a long time, and trying to just hold it in your mouth for the amazing flavor of it all, before it is just another bite from just another banquet of your life, finished and left to digest as a memory. “Soak it all up” moments are so ripe and poignant, aren’t they? Sometimes they are bigger than the events that mark the turning points. I imagine that these past winter Olympians felt so much more in the awe and the build-up of the opening ceremonies, than even when the medals were given out. I think that we humans inherently know to slow down and to soak up so much when we are babies, and when we are elders, and during all of the times in our lives that clearly demarcate a before/after. We soak up all of “the before”, in order to take in as much of it as we possibly can, so as to better bring it forward and to assimilate it, into the still unknown of the soon-arriving after.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Thoughts for Thursday

+ From 2009-2018, the United States had 288 school shootings. Mexico, the next country in line for most school shootings during that time period, had 8. (CNN) Since Columbine, the United States has had 416 school shootings (Washington Post). Let me state the obvious: currently, whatever we are, or we aren’t doing, to address this problem IS NOT WORKING. What are our priorities?

+ Speaking about priorities, I was listening to a podcast yesterday and the podcaster (Jessica Lanyadoo) made an interesting analogy. She said that our ideals are the starry skies, but our values are the street lamps that light the way. Our ideals are the utopian vision of the world we would like to see. We don’t have enough power or control to turn the whole world into our ideal utopia, but we can change the light bulbs on “our street lamps.” We can make sure that we are spending our time and our energy on what we most value. When we do this, we have created a lighted path that leads the way to making footprints towards the starry skies of our ideal world.

+ There is common terminology used to describe penises: “showers or growers.” (I’ll let you google that for the more detailed explanation.) Recently, though, I heard the terminology used to describe people. “Showers” (not like rain “shower”, more like going to a broadway “show”) are the people who razzle and dazzle you from the get go. They are entrancing, charming, interesting people whom you almost instantly like, and whom you feel attracted to from the start. On the other hand, the “growers” are people who “grow on you.” The “growers” are people whom you aren’t sure how you feel about them, but if you give them a few more chances to get to know them, you start to discover their wonderful intrinsic qualities. They are like mystery packages that when you start unpacking them, they reveal really nice surprises. Showers put it all out there instantly. Showers are flowers in full bloom. Growers are flower buds. We need both kinds of people in our lives. However, in my personal experience, it’s often the “growers” who have turned out to be the steadiest, most impactful relationships in my life. Showers sometimes have the tendency to burn out fast. Showers sometimes turn out to be fake flowers.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

2020. Do you like photography or videography better?

Finish Strong

Fast approaching, is the end of the first half of my adult life, which I mainly devoted to taking care of my family. My daughter has decided to start college in the summer term, so by the end of this June, 26 years of parenting and 12 years of supporting high school activities, sports, and guiding our four children into their own burgeoning adulthoods, is about to come to a close. All of us parents know that we will be parents for life, but the hands-on, main focus, every day sort of parenting which I have done for most of my adult life, is coming really close to coming to its own close, in a matter of a few short months. I’ve brought this up on the blog before, but it bears repeating. I am now constantly reiterating to myself a mantra that I oft repeated to our kids, throughout their childhoods. Finish Strong. Whether it was pertaining to a school year, a class, a sports season, a race, healing from an injury, an essay, an exam, etc. the directions I gave were simple: Finish Strong.

So, during these last few weeks I have been busy putting celebratory dates on the calendar. I have been busy with planning, and spouting lots of last minute advice to my daughter with hopes that I am not forgetting anything important and pertinent. I have been busy savoring the last high school tennis season (actually the last high school sports season which I will ever attend regularly). Overall, I have been busy with working on the finishing touches and flourishes of the final chapter of Volume 1, of my own Adulthood Saga.

At times, my busy mind has veered into trying to goad me into making a firm outline, in order to carefully plan Volume 2 of my Adulthood Saga. My Inner Control Freak sometimes goes into panic mode, and she makes me feel like we had better get going, in order to be well-prepared, organized and energized for Chapter One of Volume 2. My Inner Control Freak is telling me that Volume 2 is right around the corner and it has got to be great, fulfilling, amazing and ready at the start. “Focus on the Future!!’ she screams. But my wiser, calmer, most intuitive self, says, “Woah, Nelly. Let’s just breathe. Let’s just focus on the tasks at hand. All that you need to do right now is to Finish Strong. Volume 2 will take care of itself, in many, many ways, just like Volume 1 did, when you reflect back on it.”

I am proud of Volume 1 of my Adulthood. The protagonist is an interesting character. She has grown a lot. She has lived a lot of her goals and her dreams and her plans, and yet she has also been open enough to take some new directions that life’s storms and surprises have imposed upon her. She is about to put the finishing touches on the first half of her adult life. She is proud of her accomplishments, achievements, and evolvement. She has learned from many mistakes, and she realizes that she is strong, and resilient and open-minded enough to learn from the future lessons that are bound to arrive in Volume 2. Mostly, though, the protagonist, while closing out the first volume of her adult life, is in savor mode. She is savoring what she has created for herself, what she has co-created with others, and she is grateful. So very grateful. And in that spirit of thankfulness, and brimming with love and awe, she is doing what she must do. She is finishing strong.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.