Tag: middle age

THE Favorite Thing Friday

Best Ways to Support Your Ukraine Workforce - DistantJob - Remote Recruitment Agency

I’m sorry, friends. In light of what is going on in the world these last couple of days, I am not feeling my usual lighthearted, “let’s just focus on the material stuff” Friday mojo. Like so many of us, I’ve been spending a lot of time reflecting on what is happening in the Ukraine. I’ve been noticing my feelings, and I have been spending a lot of time praying for everyone around the world who is suffering from pain, fear and disillusionment.

I’ve taken this current horrific situation going on, and I reflected on its “microcosm” that by now, at our ages, everyone has experienced at least once, in each of our lives:

“No one is coming to save you. This life of yours is 100 percent your responsibility.”

It’s a cold, hard truth and the first time that this truth smacks you in the face, it is so scary and dark and lonely and painful to fully realize this truth. It’s brutal. But then, the redemption occurs. This is the very moment that you learn to trust yourself. This is the very moment that you learn that you can rely on yourself. This is the very moment that you come to know your strength and your determination and your resilience like you never have before. You never feel more fully alive than when you fully realize your own worth. You realize that you are worth fighting for, that you deserve more than what you have been allowing, that you have people (and higher spiritual forces) who love you, and who support you, and who want to help you in your cause. This is the moment that you realize that you love yourself, and that you value yourself and there is no one who knows you, and what you need better than you. There is no one who will take better care of you, than you. This is the moment when you realize your own worth. This is when you experience your own personal freedom and victory. This is the day that you realize your greatest champion on Earth must be you. When this occurs, all the forces in the natural and in the supernatural are by your side, and the wind is at your back. You are filled with an energetic, wise knowing and confidence that you deserve to be the fullest creative expression of your truest self and you will let nothing will stop you from realizing your highest form of being.

Today is an excellent day to focus on your favorite being in the whole wide world, to focus on the person who was with you from the very beginning of your birth here, and who will be with you to the very last breaths of your stay here on Earth. Today is an excellent day to focus on your favorite being in the world who has been with you through every single up and down that you have ever experienced in every single day of your life. Today is an excellent day to be thankful to your favorite being for all of the experiences shared, the warm, supportive relationships created, and for the creative journey currently being experienced in the here and now. Today your favorite anything, should be YOU! Everything that you need, is inside of you. Your navigation system is forever connected to the Highest Loving Intelligence that exists. Trust this fact. Trust yourself. Love yourself. Your superhero is You. And you are more incredible and worthy and capable than you ever give yourself credit for being!

And also for today, my daily mantra on the blog is directed specifically to the warmongers in this world:

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Prayers for Peace

My prayers are for the Ukrainian people, particularly the children. May their fears be snuffed out by the peace of a strong faith and the perseverance of endless hope. My prayers are for our world leaders. May these leaders only hear and react to the quiet wisdom and guidance that is imparted to all of us by the Divine, for the highest good of us all. May peace reign.

Gandhi quote "The day the power of love overrules the love of power, the world will know peace"

“You can’t separate peace from freedom because no one can be at peace unless he has his freedom.” – Malcom X

“The first peace, which is the most important, is that which comes within the souls of people when they realize their relationship, their oneness with the universe and all its powers, and when they realize at the center of the universe dwells the Great Spirit, and that its center is really everywhere, it is within each of us.” – Black Elk

“I do not want the peace which passeth understanding, I want the understanding which bringeth peace.” – Helen Keller

“Peace, commerce, and honest friendship with all nations… entangling alliances with none.” – Thomas Jefferson

“Mankind must remember that peace is not God’s gift to his creatures, it is our gift to each other.” – Elie Wiesel

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Return If Possible

“Sadness is the soul’s way of saying this mattered.” – (from the video above), Jane’s “Ted Talk from Bed Talk”

I, like so many others, was a little bit soul-shattered to hear of Jane’s (Nightbirde) passing over this past weekend. I thought that Jane was incredible – the epitome of beauty, inside and outside. Her voice and her music were amazing, but her writing and her wisdom is what touched the depths of my being. I read recently that we all want to live a long life and to have a short death, and Jane didn’t get either of these. Still, Nightbirde persevered and she inspired millions all around the world, to do the same, and to remain in awe of the beauty in life, all around us. Jane often used the hashtag phrase, #SeeJaneWin. She did win. She won at life by living life fully, and honestly, and earnestly, and faithfully, and hopefully and authentically. She didn’t cheat herself from experiencing “the all of it All.” And she inspired so many others to do the same.

I’ve read a lot of the comments, outpouring on Nightbirde’s Instagram in these past hours after the announcement of her passing. Jane energized many people to keep on going, during their own trials, and health failings, and dark moments in their own lives. So many people testified to this fact. So many people consider Jane to be “an angel on Earth.” One person wrote R.I.P., RETURN IF POSSIBLE. I like that version of R.I.P. We need more Janes in this world. Jamal Edwards, a young, influential rapper, and writer from the United Kingdom recently passed in the last couple of days, as well. He is credited with this thought: “The goal is not to live forever, the goal is to make something that will.”

Our bodies will eventually turn to dust, and our things will be sold in estate auctions. Our only real, everlasting legacies are what and who we affected in this world. These actions are what create the ripples that move all across the waters that cover this entire world, and these collective actions form what we now call “history”. What we create, what we experience, and what we bring into fruition into this world are our gifts, and our endowments to the banks of inspiration, hope, wisdom, experience, strength, faith, beauty- all of the elements of life that others can draw off of, when needed. Our daily being is our one precious gift to this Tapestry of Life that is being created by all of us. We all have the ability to give the highest and fullest and truest forms of ourselves back to the banks of Life. That is our only goal: to give back to the world the only part of us that will last forever – Love.

Thank you, Jane. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Bless you, you beautiful soul.

nightbirde - Twitter Search / Twitter

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Come On Now!

Yesterday, at physical therapy, I met Anna, a hilarious octogenarian of Greek descent. I overheard her talking to her physical therapist, a man in his late thirties, who shares Anderson Cooper’s same sweet, embarrassed, shy laugh which he was doing all morning because Anna was a hoot.

In a heavily accented voice, this was the first conversation that I heard her having with her physical therapist:

“So, I told my friend about my doctor. And she went to him. Now my friend is a very attractive 80-year-old. She’s had a few facelifts, but you know, she’s eighty. And my doctor is very good looking, but he is 51. My friend says to me, “Anna, is your doctor married?” I said, “What are you, one of those cougars? That would be like having sex with someone who could be your son. Come on now!”

She interspersed “Come on now!” a lot in her conversation. And her physical therapist did his Anderson Cooper-like nervous, yet appreciative laugh, throughout all of her exercises and her stories.

She continued, “Now when my husband turned 90, we stopped having sex. That door was shut. Come on now!”

I couldn’t help myself, I started laughing out loud and I don’t have a shy Anderson Cooper-ish quiet, embarrassed giggle. I laugh out loud and proud. So at that moment, Anna peered over at me, her eyes piercing holes through her large, artistic, black glasses, right through me and she said,

“You, my friend, are an eavesdropper!!! Come on now!” (Now, my regular readers know that I cop to being an eavesdropper all of the time on this blog, but this is the first time that I actually got called out on it, by someone whom I was eavesdropping on. Nevertheless, I got the sense that Anna sort of liked my eavesdropping. She liked an audience. She seemed kind of “show-bizzy”.)

I said, “It’s true! But I only eavesdrop on interesting people.” Her physical therapist just looked at me with wide eyes, and continued his nervous giggle.

Anna liked that answer. She continued talking to her physical therapist, maybe even slightly more loud and animated, this time about her depressed friend Linda, who always calls Anna, apparently, in order to get cheered up.

“Oh, Linda, what are ya down about now? Linda, you gotta smile. Life isn’t so bad. Come on now!”

I was disappointed when Anna’s physical therapist told her that they were moving to a different station all the way across the room. Before she headed over there, she marched over to the table, where I was lying on my stomach doing leg lifts. This is when my loud laughs perhaps turned more into a nervous giggle. Anna grasped my hands and she said, “Young lady, (I loved her for that description!), always remember, laughter is the best medicine. Keep laughing! Come on now!”

Come on now, readers! Laugh a little today. Life isn’t so bad!! A sweet and salty old bird with a feisty attitude and a zest for life reminded me that laughter is the best medicine in all of the world. And she looked (and clearly felt) terrific! Take a double dose of laughter today. You won’t regret it.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Really Funday-Monday

My husband and my daughter both have off today, so we’re going out to breakfast! This is my favorite kind of Monday.

disappointment funny vegan and food memes very veganish - Very Veganish

Interesting quote to think about today:

“Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.” – H.G. Wells

I can cringe thinking about a few times in my my own life when feeling jealous of someone’s ability to feel absolutely free to be themselves and to do what they want to do, led me to “hide” this fact behind a cloud of moral superiority and judgment. I think that we have seen a lot of this going on in these years of coronavirus, and extremely divisive politics.

But I have eggs and bacon waiting for me, so I’ll let you finish that thought . . .

Have a great day, if you want to . . . !

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Soul Sunday

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Good morning friends. It is a gorgeous morning here. My husband is biking, my daughter is doing a beach clean-up for one of her high school clubs (tough work – ha!) and I have the quiet, sensuous morning all to myself, here at the house. Even our three dogs are lazily lounging in their own spots in the sun. I am basking in this moment, because everything feels right in my world, and it reverberates throughout my entire being. I wish the same for you.

I’ve been in a particularly sentimental mood this weekend, for reasons unknown. Our moods come in and out with the tides sometimes. My regular readers know that I devote the blog to poetry on Sunday. I wrote this poem, about this precious plant of ours, which I only starting pondering about yesterday, because a plant enthusiast friend of mine, and myself, were sharing pictures of our various plants with each other. Sometimes the most meaningful, reliable, steadfast things in our lives, are so easy to take for granted. This green beauty fully deserves her own poem.

“Our Philodendron”

You’ve been so easy to keep,

So hardy and resilient and adaptable,

Quietly going along for the ride,

Always just a trinket in the background,

Living in three states and at least a half a dozen houses.

You came to us in a beautiful celebration basket,

One we could scarcely afford.

We were embarking on a new, unknown adventure,

Another one we could scarcely afford.

You marked the start of our family,

Almost twenty-six years ago.

You adorned our baby’s nursery,

In the same elephant embellished pot,

That still firmly holds you in place right now.

You are vibrant, colorful and full of growth and life.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Beautiful, steadfast, Green Goddess that you are,

Let my tears of grateful joy, nourish your robust roots,

So that you may continue to thrive and to be a living symbol,

Of what truly is the heartfelt center of my very soul.

My Pleasure?

“Customer service is just someone on the phone telling you to do it yourself.” – Erica Rhodes (comedian), Twitter

I love Erica Rhodes. She is brilliant. I highly recommend watching one of her comedy specials, if you need a laugh today. Yesterday, after spending at least ten minutes banging on my keypad, trying desperately to not have to converse with a pointless robot, I finally got to a customer “service” person. At one point the customer service person at the other end of my phone literally said to me in a flat, disinterested voice, “with everything that you have going on with your bill” as if her own company had nothing to do with the graffiti art that is my cell phone statement every month. I honestly just started laughing, slightly maniacally, and she sounded confused but then started laughing along with me.

In all fairness, the other day, after opening up an oil soaked box from Bath & Bodyworks because whoever packed the box seemed to think that 2 inches of bubble wrap, total, was more than enough for 25 fragile glass fragrance bulbs, to be shipped in, all the way across the country (and this being the second time that I had experienced this fun-filled phenomenon in a row), I spoke to a Customer Service representative who was honestly, incredibly awesome. This CSR had probably started her career at Chick-Fil-A. (did you ever notice that everyone, at every company now says the Chick-Fil-A original line in a perky voice – “It’s my pleasure!”?!?) She was trained right. She had me diffused quicker than my stress-relief fragrance bulbs ever could. (on an aside, my family loves to watch me get all wound up and fiery, talking to customer service reps. I usually start out with, “Look I’m not being a “Karen” here . . . ” And then I hear snickers and whispers from my family, “But you kind of are . . . “) Seriously, this woman was so kind, so understanding, so good at listening and she went above and beyond, in order to rectify the situation. I honestly was stunned. I couldn’t believe that I was actually experiencing good, reasonable customer service. It had been so, so long since I had experienced excellent customer service. So, that’s when I asked to speak to her manager. I, of course, got her manager’s voicemail, but I left a long, enthusiastic, glowing review about my experience with this customer service person. My thought was, if I made the effort to let my unhappiness be known, I should also have the time and the decency to let my satisfaction be conveyed, as well.

Here are some of the more witty, relatable replies to Erica’s on-point tweet:

“Can I help you” has always been a funny opening line to me. -@CharlesScheer

Best ones are when you use a service’s website for guidance, but it makes no sense or is counterproductive. You get in touch with them and they send you the same link on the web chat or by email ? – @BotondHamori

Or transferring you back to the person who transferred your call to him/her. -@JPReisender

And then asking if you are satisfied with their help, and asking if there is anything else that they can help you with today …@nattybumpercar

If you’re lucky enough to get an actual Fking human! I almost always get Siri’s dropout cousin . . . . @BenekeBc

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Clip-On Friday

21,555 Friday Happy Stock Photos, Pictures & Royalty-Free Images - iStock

I’m a big believer in trying to make every day a good day, but come on, on Fridays, “the good part” just doesn’t take much effort, does it? Friday is my favorite day of the week, mostly because I love the feelings of freedom and anticipation. On Fridays, here at the blog, I list my favorites. Typically, I try to list around three favorite products, or books, or TV shows, or whatevers that have helped to make my life interesting and enjoyable. Please share some of your favorites in my Comments section. It’s always fun to discover new favorites.

My favorite reading this morning:

“We cannot wake up and know who we are, as we are always building it. Much remains unreconciled, an indication of being alive.” – Holiday Mathis

Friends, we are all works in progress. That’s the joy and the process of living. Cut yourself a break this weekend and just experience the experience without judgment. Please, don’t take yourself so seriously. Be grateful that you have all of the ingredients: mind, body, and spirit, in order to fully experience the awesomeness of living a life on Earth. That’s honestly all there is to it.

My favorite story of the week:

My friend asked her mother-in-law if she believed in “love at first sight.” “Absolutely!” her mother-in-law replied. “It’s happened to me 14 times!” I imagine that there was a pregnant pause at this moment. I know that my eyebrows were raised listening to my friend tell her story. I thought to myself, “Wow, now that’s what I call a romantic!”

My friend’s mother-in-law continued, “The first time that I laid eyes on my three sons, and my eleven grandchildren and great-grandchildren, I completely experienced love at first sight. No doubts about it.”

Some people are just so awesome to their very cores, aren’t they???

My second favorite story of the week: (This time I was eavesdropping at my physical therapy session. My regular readers know that I do this. Tsk. Tsk. It’s a bad habit of mine, but you must know, we writers tend to eavesdrop. Facts.)

The young male physical therapist was lamenting to his older female patient about how much his young sons fight and argue. The woman mentioned that her own sons are now in their forties, but when they were young and they were fighting and fussing, she would take two chairs, sit them down and make the boys face each other. She would then say, “Compliment each other, until I say stop!”

Now, the woman admitted that this activity never went the way that she had planned. One boy would start with, “I really like how ugly your hair looks today.” And then the other brother would try to creatively top his brother’s “compliment” with something even better, like, “I really like how you keep proving to me that you are even stupider than I thought you were . . . ” The woman told her PT that the boys got a big hoot and holler out of this activity and they would end up in fits of laughter, and they would be buddies all over again in a matter of minutes. The brothers would bond over clever and witty insults disguised as compliments. (As a mother of three sons, I know that this has to be a true story. Boys get a charge out of insulting each other. I’ve never quite understood it, but it does create a bro-bond like nothing else does.)

When I hear stories like these, I always think to myself, “Why didn’t I think of that???” It almost makes me want to go back to mothering young children. (“Almost” being the key word here.)

My favorite product of the week:

My husband and I went to the grocery store together to pick out a pile of junk food to enjoy while watching the Super Bowl last Sunday. Russell Stover chocolates were “buy one/ get one” at our local Publix. How perfect, his and her boxes of chocolate, even before Valentine’s Day!!! After devouring two boxes of Russell Stover Assorted Milk Chocolate Covered Nuts this week, my husband and I both agreed that we have been way too snobby about Russell Stover candy. I wish that I didn’t love this candy as much as I do. I wish that I was still a chocolate snob who hadn’t eaten 26 pieces of Russell Stover chocolate this week. My husband even noted that the candy was not perfectly molded to the point that it almost looked like it was homemade. Go get you some Russell Stover chocolates today, if there is any left. It is sure to be on sale after Valentines Day.

That’s all from me for today. Remember that favorites come in all different packages and many favorites are absolutely free. List your favorites today. This activity will bring a smile to your face. I promise you. This activity is one of my favorite things to do because it brings the joy of my favorites bubbling up to the surface, all over again.

See you tomorrow! Have a great weekend!!!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Changing It Up

Last night, my husband and I watched the latest episode of “1883”. There was a poignant scene (spoiler alert) in which Elsa tells her mother that the pioneers (many of these pioneers were immigrants from other countries) who are bringing all of their old customs, and the ways of the lands which they are trying to escape, are going to end up with the same, sad situations that made them willing to leave all that they had known, for a wild, and full of danger new country. I have looked all over the internet for the exact quote (because Taylor Sheridan’s writing is more eloquent and divine than mine), but I wasn’t able to find it. In short, the conversation was making clear, the old adage, “Wherever you go, there you are.”

I jotted this quote down the other day:

“If you desire to make a difference in the world, you must be different from the world.” @DukeHomer, Twitter

Change is a deliberate process. And change is never easy. Real changes start from deep inside of oneself, and it is these internal changes that start reflecting real change in the externals of our lives. To make real change, you must change the way you think about things. To make real change, you must be capable of honest self reflection. To make changes in your life, you must stop reflecting on what you do not want, what you do not like, what is bad, and you must pivot all of these thoughts to what you do want, what you do like, and what is the good for which you are aiming to achieve. Once you have decided what you are aiming towards, you can then create the steps that you must take, in order to create this real change in your life. To make real lasting change, you must put all of your focus back onto yourself, the only person whom you are ever capable of changing.

We all have done this process of change in our lives. Most of us have moved out of our homes and away from our families of origin, and we have created our own families and homes and daily lives. We have taken the habits, and the customs, and the traditions that we liked about our families of origin, and we deliberately included them in our own lives and homes and families, and yet, on the other hand, we have done some things differently from where and whom we came from, because these things no longer served nor resonated with our adult selves and the families and the lives we desire to have and to experience.

Change is very much a conscious act. Change is sometimes thrust upon us when we experience a major lifestyle change or suffer a loss in our lives, such as a death of a loved one, or a major illness, or a severed relationship, or the empty nest, or a job loss. However, it is how we react to any of these situations that will make the difference between a true, healthy, growing, metamorphic change happening for us in our lives, versus if we struggle and fight against a change, with the fruitless idea of being able to keep things always the same, and under our own individual control.

Real change is purposeful and it is not easy. But deliberate reflection, and then taking the steps for meaningful change, is what gives our lives more purpose and more meaning and more vitality and more satisfaction than just about any other experience that we have in our lives. To create meaningful change in our own lives, reminds us of our own individual power and our freedom to be exactly who we are individually meant to be. To make change, is to be the deliberate creators of this world which we share. We were all given the ability to make changes in our lives, but the desire for change has to be strong enough for us to take the first difficult steps, and then to take the the many more steady, willful, confident, vision-filled steps to achieve the difference we want in our lives, and thus, the difference that we ultimately want our lives to be, in the greater world around us.

36 Best Quotes About Change - Wise Words About Transitions
101 Quotes About Change in Life - Inspirational Change Quotes

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Don’t Care

“We’ve been suckered into thinking we must have an opinion on everything. There’s just so much I don’t care about.” – Annie Hatfield, Twitter, @HatfieldAnne

I read this yesterday and it resonated completely with me. My opinion is that this tweet is so good, that I had to stop, drop and roll to one of my sacred notebooks and jot this keen insight down immediately.

In today’s world, it’s awfully hard to admit that “you just don’t care” about many things, isn’t it? But I wasn’t the only one who related to this tweet. So far, it has gotten almost 2500 likes in less than 24 hours. Perhaps we will all be cancelled, or labelled “stupid” or “callous” or “blasé” or “ignorant.”

When I do care about something, I care deeply and passionately and fervently. When I do care about someone or something, there will be no questioning it. You will know. I’m full of fire. If I put that kind of care and energy into everything, I would have burned myself out long ago.

When I was a teenager, my father told me that if I was going to take a stand on something, I had better make sure that it is something that I believe in and care about with every fiber of my being. And then he said to make sure that I learn everything that I can about whatever hill I am standing on, including all the insights and counter-insights to my beliefs about said subject.

I believe that my father was correct, and so to have a strong opinion on something, takes a lot of work, a great deal of personal insight and self-awareness, plenty of research and a big dollop of empathy. And it takes the ability to be open-minded enough to have your opinion changed, if growth and knowledge occurs over time and experience. In short, strong opinions require strength, passion, wisdom and humility.

I have always believed that “variety is the spice of life.” I am grateful that there are people who care passionately about subjects that I don’t care about. I am thrilled that there are tribes of people for every phenomenon on this earth, so that people can commune with others and share a common love and vision and passion together. This is what makes the world such an interesting place where we can all pick and choose as to what to dabble in, and what to care about, and what to create strong opinions about. If we all do our parts to resolutely care about at least a couple of things that matter to us, we’ve got enough hands on deck to make sure that all of our bases are covered.

Opinion Quotes | Inspiration Boost

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.