Tag: middle age

A Phone Call

My friend told me the other day that my blog reminds her of a morning call with a friend. I love that! So today, I am going to write my blog with a phone call dialog:

Me: Hello! Good Morning!

You (my friends): Oh wow, you called me kind of early on a Sunday morning. But hey, how goes it?

Me: My daughter and I went to Costco yesterday, but before that, we went to PetSmart and bought a couple of little fish for my pond and then we realized we couldn’t keep them in the car safely. I didn’t want to find some boiled fish when we got back to the car, so we had to walk around Costco with a bag of fish.

You: You walked around Costco with a bag of fish? What did people say?

Me: It was actually pretty funny. You would think that only dogs, or maybe carrying around a baby kitten or a bunny, would get you some attention, but we got a fair amount of comments about the fish.

You: I bet you did.

Me: Yeah, we started calling them our “emotional support fish.” Can you imagine fish with little vests on?

You: They’d be more like lifejackets.

Me: Hahahaha! I told people that the fish had separation anxiety, so we couldn’t leave them at home.

You: Speaking of pets, how are the pups?

Me: Oh, they’re great! Today is their birthday. Our dogs have the same birthday. Do you believe it? Ralphie, our lab, is two today and Josie, the collie, is one. My daughter made sure that we put “birthday bandannas” on them. They seemed pretty excited, but they’re excited every day. Dogs act like every day is their birthday. I want to be like that . . . .

You: Yeah, for sure. Are you psyched for the final episode of Game of Thrones??

Me: Is grass green? It’s going to be bittersweet though. GOT was always so much fun to look forward to and I haven’t found a series that I have liked nearly as much as I like it. I think all of the fuss about changing the ending, is more about people grieving that the show is actually over now.

You: Oh, so you like this last season? Do you think it is good?

Me: I feel kind of neutral about it. I don’t think it is the best season of GOT, but it isn’t terrible. I think with the long break, everyone’s anticipation was just on over-drive. Nothing could ever measure up to the expectations, I think.

You: So true.

Me: I have this sign in our powder room that says “happiness is a journey, not a destination”. I think everyone is just sad that the journey with GOT is over, you know? By trying to get a new ending, they are just trying to keep the journey going. Like my son is graduating from high school this week, and the graduation ceremony, and the celebrations and dinners and parties will all be fun, but the real story, the real adventure, the real meaning, was all of the years of his primary schooling. . . . all of those years of transformation from being a little boy, to becoming a capable young man. Do you know what I mean?

You: Absolutely! You know what? This conversation reminds me of your blog.

Me: Yeah, you’re right, there is something there, to write about it. It’s like we are always racing towards the finish line in everything we do. “I can’t wait for school to be over or to be done raising kids or to win some kind of award or medal”, but the finish line is sometimes a “mwah-mwah” because it is usually at that end moment, that you realize, you were actually really enjoying “the process” of whatever you were doing. You are not sure you are ready to let go of that journey just yet. It is usually at those final moments that a light bulb goes off and you think, it was never about the ending/finish line/gold medal, after all. It was really about everything that it took to get to the end. “Happiness is a journey, not a destination.”

You: Okay, you’re getting deep. I gotta go. Go write your blog.

Me: Thank you. I love you! Bye for now.

Natural Cycles

“Parenting: the days are long but the years are short.” – Anonymous

The school year is wrapping up for our youngest two children, the two who are still at home. My youngest son graduates from high school next week. We are all ready for summer. We are weary. The crescendo, that ends every school year, is in full force, with awards ceremonies, and with AP and final exams. Our renovation project is finally near close. I can hear my body, making louder what it has been whispering to me the last week or so, “Time to rest. We need rest. Rest.”

I have been living the natural rhythm of parenting and the constant cycles that go with raising children for the last 23 years. I wonder if my body will naturally stay with this cycle for a while to come, even when our last little birdie spreads her wings and flies away, in just a few short years. I wonder what part of you figures it out first, that you now have an empty nest and a new cycle of life; that your cadence will shift? Is it your mind or your body or is it your spirit?

“The success of love is in the loving – it is not the result of loving. Of course it is natural in love to want the best for the other person, but whether it turns out that way or not does not determine the value of what we have done. ” – Mother Teresa

Landslide

I just finished reading Daisy Jones & The Six by Taylor Jenkins Reid. It is an interesting, easy to devour, fictional account of the rising up and falling out of a rock-n-roll band. It is loosely based on Stevie Nicks and Fleetwood Mac. So, of course, after I finished the book, I ended up reading all about Nicks and the other band members of Fleetwood Mac. This brought up a recent memory.

A few months ago, my best friends from college (shout out to the Bubble!) and I were in Nashville, on a girls’ trip. We ended up being front row, fast fans of an amazing, mesmerizing, unfairly gorgeous and talented yet easy to love, girl band from Australia. (Shout out, Dozzi!) Dozzi did this amazing cover of “Landslide” by Fleetwood Mac. And there was no one in that bar over the age of 40, who was even close to being dry-eyed, as we sang-shouted the lyrics, along with Dozzi.

I have always liked Fleetwood Mac and of course, “Landslide” has always been one of my favorite songs of theirs. (I recently read that no one will ever change the radio station when Stevie Nicks is singing – her voice is that distinctive, emotional and mesmerizing.) However, “Landslide” has taken on a whole new meaning and brings me to a whole new level of emotion, since I have reached this middle age time of my life, with my kids moving on to their adult lives. Stevie Nicks said that she wrote “Landslide” at a time of her life when she was really contemplating her next big moves in life. She was really thinking that she may have to go in a whole new direction with her career, her love life, everything. Stevie was staying with friends at a home in Colorado, at the time that she wrote the lyrics, and she said that the outside mountains looked so peaceful, but at the same time she understood how quickly, an avalanche could happen and change everything. It is such a testament to a singer/songwriter’s talent when they can evoke all of the emotions that erupt during big change periods in people’s lives and encapsulate it all in one song, a song which almost everyone can relate to and understand. At the very least . . . . “Landslide” is a good one!

Landslide Lyrics:

I took my love, I took it down
Climbed a mountain and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
‘Til the landslide brought me down

Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changin’ ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
MmmWell, I’ve been ‘fraid of changin’
‘Cause I’ve built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I’m gettin’ older, too

Well, I’ve been ‘fraid of changin’
‘Cause I’ve built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I’m gettin’ older, too
I’m gettin’ older, too

Ah, take my love, take it down
Oh, climb a mountain and turn around
And if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well, the landslide will bring it down
And if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well, the landslide will bring it down
Oh, the landslide will bring it down

Castles in the Sky

I don’t believe that I have ADD (I have never been diagnosed with it), but I think on Mondays, I get as close as I can, to emphasizing with those who suffer from that condition. Here are the list of symptoms:

  • Trouble paying attention (easily sidetracked)
  • Doesn’t like or avoids long mental tasks
  • Trouble staying on task during school, at home, or even at play
  • Disorganized and seems forgetful
  • Doesn’t appear to listen when directly spoken to
  • Doesn’t pay close attention to details
  • Loses things often
  • Makes careless mistakes
  • Struggles to follow through with instructions

This definitely sounds like me, on just about every Monday of my life. This Monday, this list is particularly pronounced, because the contents of my bedroom are piled up all around me and all around my house, as painters are turning my bedroom into a new, soothing color, to calm my nerves. (nerves, that at this point, are so frazzled and hopped up on a coffee buzz, that tiny sparks, emanating from my nerves, are burning little bitty holes into my shirt) Maybe all of my Monday issues will disappear as I wake up to a fresh, new, soothing, subtle, light blue hue of hope. Maybe a new coat of paint is all that it will take, to turn my Mondays around and transform them into well-oiled machines of vision, drive and productivity.

“Even castles in the sky can do with a fresh coat of paint.” -Haruki Murakami

With All of My Heart

Happy Mother’s Day!!!

To My Children:

Thank you for coming into my life. You are gifts sent directly from Heaven. I am in awe of each of you. I swell with pride and beam, inside and out, when I think of you. My heart could not hold more love than what I feel for you. I truly think that you got the best parts of both me and your father, and then most importantly, your own individual sparks and special qualities that are unique, only to each of “you”. I am so grateful for everyone and everything that has helped you to evolve to being the precious people who you are today, and who you are evolving to be tomorrow. Every day that I see you or I converse with you or I even just think of you, I feel blessed beyond measure. Being your mother has been one of my biggest privileges of my life and the most growing, expansive experience that I think I will ever have in my life. You are amazing and you are very much loved.

With all of my heart,

Mom

Sea Shells

This is from Nature’s Lovers (Twitter). It is a photo that was taken after the first low tide after Hurricane Matthew passed. What a poignant reminder that beauty can, and often does, come out of the worst experiences of our lives. By the time we have reached middle age, most of us have experienced this first hand, probably more than once.

23 Great Inspiring Quotes and Words of Wisdom #inspiringquotes #wisdom #greatquotes #wisequotes #bravequotes

You Matter

I love people who return their carts to the return station.

I love people who are kind and interested, no matter what or who the subject matter is, at hand.

I love people who still write thank you notes.

I love people who laugh at everyone’s jokes and make them feel special and at ease.

I love people who are honest about who they are and do not perform metamorphosis, depending on their company.

I love people with sparkle in their eyes.

I love people who believe that almost everyone has good intentions.

I love people whose whole body smiles, when they do.

I love people who get excited about their passions.

I love people who remember little, seemingly inconsequential things that are meaningful to other people.

I love people who love nature and animals.

I love people who are comfortable in their own skin.

I love curious people.

I love people who can laugh at themselves.

I love people who you can rely on.

What’s on your list of favorite traits in people? I imagine you fit into my list, so thank you for being you. You brighten my life! You brighten other people’s lives! People notice. They really do. You matter.

That’s Weird

So, I am not sure what to write about this morning. I slept in. I feel kind of foggy. Nothing is striking me. So, I decided to google quotes for inspiration. My first search was “prettiest quotes”. This gave me a monitor full of quotes about beauty like the one oft repeated by Aubrey Hepburn, “Happy girls are the prettiest.”

That wasn’t really what I was going for, so I looked up “loveliest quotes.” This search filled my monitor with syrupy, sickeningly sweet romantic quotes to read to you lover, at bedtime. I won’t even repeat any of them here.

So, I finally searched up “most meaningful quotes”. For some reason, today all of these quotes just got on my nerves, but I kept looking. Then this one showed up (on the most meaningful quote search . . . seriously). This is one I had to share:

Image result for most meaningful quotes

I’m not really angry today, but this struck me as hilarious. I find it even more funny because it showed up on a page full of wisdom from Aristotle, Confucius, Anne Frank, Einstein and Maya Angelou. I never knew how wise the minions were until I saw the company that they keep.

I get that this blog post has a Seinfeld-like quality to it – a ramble about nothing. But that is what makes Sundays so great, you can ramble on, or not. You can do meaningful things, or not. If there was ever a day to just be in the moment and to savor being alive, it is on Sundays. Savor your Sunday. I’ll be back tomorrow.

The Disrupted Nest

Once upon a time there was this little bird who loved her nest. She loved being in her nest with her mate and her hatchlings. Of course, her hatchlings quickly grew to be big birds themselves and they started leaving the nest more and more. One hatchling grew up to be his own bird and left the nest and created his own nest, in a tree, far away, of his own liking. The bird family still flew to see each other, though. They were chatty birds, who liked each other’s company.

This story isn’t about hatchlings leaving the nest, though. This is about the time when the little bird’s nest was completely disrupted and the poor little bird thought that she would go cuckoo or even batty. Though a bit flighty, this little bird wasn’t a natural cuckoo, and bats, obviously, are a whole different species, but this little bird found that she was really starting to empathize with cuckoos and those beings sometimes described as batsh*t-crazy. You see, the disruption in her nest felt like it would never end and it was turning her into a whole different animal as much as she tried to stay pleasant and chirpy.

It all started when the little bird and her mate for life, decided that their nest was in serious need of some new straw. They found some birds who were particularly good at nest renovation and they agreed to give lots and lots (and lots) of seed to these birds, in exchange for some fresh straw. When it was time to take out the old straw and bring in the new straw, the expert new straw birds arrived and hung out with the little bird all day long, every day, for months and months. The poor little bird tried to stay positive and she could see that the new straw would soon look very nice, when she looked past all of the old straw, and dust feathers lying all around the nest. She tried not to pluck out the feathers in her chest, in distress, but she found it hard to resist sometimes. She tended to get a little “pecky” with her mate and nestlings who still lived in the nest with her, when they came home to the nest in the evenings.

This little bird was an old bird who had been around the flock for a while. She had even been through previous nest renovations in earlier times in her little birdy life. She knew that the process of the rebuilding of a nest would be annoying and disruptive. The little bird knew some calming yoga poses like standing on one leg that helped her get into balance. (a lot of birds stand on one leg). Still sometimes she felt pushed to the edge of her nest . . . and her sanity.

This story doesn’t have any ending yet, but the nest is progressing a lot and I suspect there is going to be a happy, calming ending for the little bird and her mate. I suspect that they are really going to appreciate the changes and updates to their nest, to the point that they will soon forget about all of the upheaval and disruption that this renovation has caused. And I suspect a few years down the road (maybe give it a decade), they will have conveniently forgotten how stressful it was to have their nest torn apart and displaced (they have little tiny bird brains that aren’t known for good memories – see elephants, for good memorization skills). Then, the little birds again, will get a wild hair (or a wild feather, in their case) and decide to yet again, exchange piles and piles of seed for an updated nest. That’s just how birds work.

Take Notice

I live in a part of the country where a lot of people come to vacation. We get people from all over the United States, actually citizens from all over the world, visiting our neck of the woods. Currently, I am spending some time in one of the resort towns near to my home. There are advantages and disadvantages to living in an area like this.

I don’t love the crowds, nor the drivers who seem perpetually lost. I do appreciate the revenue and the jobs that are created for the people, like me, who live here. What I love the most, though, is the constant reminder of just how lucky I am to live in my lovely space on this Earth and that fact, is often reflected back to me, when I see the happy, excited faces of the people who have journeyed here, pointedly, to visit my home. Whenever, I stroll along one of our beach roads, I hear the happy chatter of love and excitement, no matter what language that chatter is being spoken in. I often see speechless wonder and awe reflected in lovely faces, young and old, particularly around sunset time. I experience renewal of my own wonder and awe and my own joy of being, when I take the time to see my living experience reflected back to me by a new, fresh outlook of a person’s eyes, who is visiting my town for the first time.

This isn’t an isolated experience for people who live in vacation land, though. I have visited lots of different towns, with many unique climates over the many decades of my life, and I have enjoyed every single experience. The novelty of a place different than my own experience is always so refreshing and revitalizing. When we go to somewhere new to us, it’s like we get to be babies again, looking at everything with a new found amazement, fascination, reverence . . . .

What is the best lesson about this experience, is that we can choose to live our own lives, in this frame of reference, every single day, if we just slow down and really experience how truly breathtaking it is to be alive. I hurriedly took my dogs out into our back yard the other day, thinking about my long to-do list in my head, and trying to get the dogs to rush to do their business quickly. Ralphie, our Labrador retriever, got stubborn and he refused to move. Luckily, I took that as a clue for me to slow down, too. I started noticing just how beautiful a small snippet of nature is and just how much life is teeming in just one little corner of a yard. The grass, the flowers, the wind, the insects, the birds, the rocks, the soil . . . . .

I think I am going to try to live my life like a newcomer more often. I’m so thankful for the perspective change, visitors to my town, give back to me. Life is such a blessing, if we pull out the lens and slow our strides and just take the time to take notice.