Field Notes

Hi friends. I missed you. I just got back home from my trip after midnight last night. My husband and I were travelling all through Belgium, which is six hours ahead of us on the East coast, so to say that I’m exhausted and out of sorts, is an understatement. Still, I feel the magnetic pull to come to my precious blog, so here I am (still in my robe, most of my stuff unpacked, two loads of laundry under our belts, and lots of loving on our three elated-to-see-us doggies). We chose to go to Belgium because my husband is a huge cycling enthusiast and having watched many European bike races on television throughout the years, he decided that he had to see one in person. When he mentioned going to Belgium, all that I could think of was chocolate, french fries, and waffles. It wasn’t hard to convince me to go. And it was wonderful (especially the chocolate, french fries and waffles.) Here are some of my travel notes:

+ Belgium is a European country about the size of Vermont. For the first time, we rented a car in Europe versus taking the trains. It was so fun and interesting to do it this way. It made me feel more immersed and less touristy than I ever have felt in a foreign country. It was fascinating. Belgium seems to be a microcosm of bigger countries much like the USA. We went to Brussels, but also to other northern cities like Antwerp, and Ghent and the medieval village of Bruges. The northern part of Belgium is highly Dutch influenced, and the people mostly all speak English. The southern parts of Belgium, particularly in Wallonia, are highly influenced by the French, and much fewer people speak English there. The architecture also was notably different as we travelled south, with the northern Dutch buildings and houses being much more ornate. The habits and traditions of the people were markedly different, as well. I suppose ever country has its own version of “the north and the south.”

We spent a lovely night in a teeny, beautiful, mountain town in what is called one of the smallest cities in the world – Durbuy, Belgium, before heading to the town of Huy, where the final finishing stage of the professional cycling race called the La Flèche Wallonne takes place. The cyclists have to climb the Mur de Huy (translation – Wall of Huy) three times to finish the race. The Wall of Huy is a hill with the average gradient of 9.7 degrees although some parts of it, are 26 degrees steep (that’s STEEP). This final climb on the Mur de Huy is after the cyclists have already ridden for miles all day, and also, for many days previous (for instance, the Tour de France lasts 23 or 24 days). Cyclists are tremendously strong, gritty, resilient athletes. What started out as a nice sunny spring race day, ended up being a cold, wet, 40 degree day, with rain, sleet, snow and hail and lots of mud. It was brutal and grueling for the cyclists. Over forty of them had to drop out of the race. It was brutal and grueling for this Florida girl (who is used to sun, heat and no hills) to walk up the “Wall of Huy”, in totally non-waterproof attire, to be a witness to the finish, but my husband was in his own special heaven, and I got a lot of “good wife/friend/partner” points for being a good sport about it all. Honestly, it was thrilling and fun to see the long-standing traditions that go along with the spectator sport of professional cycling, such as the cycling teams’ travel cars throwing candy and hats out to the crowds along the way, and people loudly yelling “Alle! Alle! Alle!” which means “Go! Go! Go!” to the passing cyclists, all the while as the spectators pounded furiously on the boards of the flimsy gates, which only keep spectators slightly apart from the cyclists riding on the road. I had never before witnessed anything like this in person. It was a truly, memorable experience and retrospectively, the dramatic weather changes made it an even more interesting event, and a fun memory forever.

+ As you can imagine, the biggest American imports in Belgium are McDonalds, Pizza Hut, Starbucks, Burger King and Coca-Cola. They do fine with their own brands of beer (we saw the monastery in Dinant where they still produce Leffe beer, which first started being brewed in 1240 A.D.). When we travel, we try to avoid these American staples as much as we possibly can (one time in Austria, we saw an embarrassing display of crappy processed foods like hot dogs, peanut butter and marshmallows, in a grocery store under a huge red, white and blue display sign that said, TASTE OF AMERICA), but this time, when we were travelling between towns, we were starved, and a McDonalds was our only fast option. Interestingly, this Belgian McDonalds sold chicken wings, and burgers with upgraded bakery buns and unusual cheeses. They did not have any ketchup or mustard to offer to us. The Belgians love their mayonnaise for their fries, and there was a curry sauce for the chicken nuggets. Honestly, it could have been because we were starved, but this was truly one of the best McDonalds meals I have ever eaten.

+ Speaking of Americans, I have to give us wonderful Americans a huge shout out. One of our servers, after the bike race, said emphatically, that Americans are the nicest tourists that come to his country (Australians are a close second), and we experienced this first hand. As we were getting on to the first leg of our three plane rides home (Brussels to London), the carry-on luggage space was all filled up. (My husband and I only brought carry-on luggage for this particular trip, because we had several flight stops, and we knew that we would be travelling all over the country. We could not afford to lose our luggage.) So the flight attendants were telling my husband and I, another American woman (who had paid extra, for guaranteed carry-on availability) and a man from another country, that we would all have to check our luggage, all the way through to our final destinations. We were sick about this, as we had valuables and souvenirs, and we had all packed our things like medicine, and whatnot, like we would be able to easily access it. And of course, we did not expect to see our luggage ever again, if we had to check it all the way through like this, right at the door of the airplane, in a foreign country. Needless to say, the other passengers were not thrilled with the hold-up either, as we all waited for our luggage to be taken by the airline’s authorities. The flight attendants worked fervently to make room for two bags, but ours were still needing to be checked. The sympathetic baggage attendant suggested that we ask for volunteers from other passengers whose final destination was to London, to check their bags instead. At first, no one offered to do this when the flight attendant made the pleading request in an announcement. All of the sudden though, two gracious American women, a mother and a daughter, offered to check their bags and thus, we were able to keep our luggage with us. These wonderful women wouldn’t even accept lunch/Starbucks money from us, as a token for their kindness. If ever I have felt a duty to pay a kindness forward, it is now. If I were in their shoes, I’m not sure that I would have done the same thing. But now I will (I suppose this is how kindness spreads.) I was so completely and utterly grateful to these women, but truthfully, also so very proud, and yet not really surprised that they were generous, kind, empathetic Americans.

+ My favorite story of the trip was when we spotted a boutique in the Sablon area of Brussels called 29th/October. This is my husband’s and my wedding anniversary date. We will be happily married for 30 years, this October. I had to go in and get a souvenir. It felt like kismet! Well, the story gets even better, because as I went to purchase the bracelet which I carefully picked out, I was waited on by the owner of the shop, who was a young woman who was also the artist who had created my bracelet. It is signed by her. And she was overjoyed to hear that October 29th was our anniversary, as she loudly called her mother (who was helping in the shop) over to meet us. It turns out that October 29th was named after her parents’ wedding date, and this young woman was one of their four children. (We have four adult children, too!) These kinds of stories are what make me the happiest. Goosebumps, for sure.

+ What I love most about travel is the humbling perspective it gives to you. We are all just one teeny, weeny part of this whole thing that we call Life. I felt like I saw millions and millions of people as I travelled around in one small country, on one of our smallest continents. When I purchased a candle made by a wife of a supposedly extremely famous celebrity in Belgium, the clerk was shocked that I had never heard of these people. One night, as we exhaustedly laid in our hotel bed and flipped through the TV shows (all French), it was funny to see a version of our HGTV show, House Hunters. If you think our kitchens are outdated, you should see some of these European houses’ kitchens that looked they could have been over a hundred years old!! There was also a show that appeared to be like Survivor, but it took place in castles, and the contestants were called traitors. I suppose what I am trying to say, is that the world isn’t all about ‘us’ – not even close. But I actually find this to be a relieving and comforting thought. Perhaps if we just trust Life, enjoy our experience of it all, and be truly engaged with our experiences, and then try to be kind, and leave mostly good along our way, I really believe that’s all that we need to do, or are meant to do. It really is that simple. I am also astonished, as I travelled around one small country, on one of our smallest continents, how much beautiful countryside still exists everywhere. My husband and I drove through miles and miles of gorgeous country fields dotted with patches of brilliant yellow rapeseed (an unfortunate name for a beautiful flower) and enjoyed standing under enormous trees in Bruges that had to have been hundreds of years old (despite the common Belgian custom of pollarding, which is to constantly prune the trees so that they stay in their adolescent stage – must we really project our fear of aging on to the trees?!?). We still have a lot of natural beauty and abundance all over this planet. Nature is honestly usually the most astonishingly beautiful thing that I ever witness on any of my trips, even after witnessing unbelievably grand works of architecture and art. I went up to one big tree in a field in Bruges and the first thing that I noticed on the tree’s enormous girth, was a tiny red ladybug. Both the colossal tree and the teeny insect have their own place, and their own experience on this Earth, and they seem to know to savor the experience and to blissfully share it with each other. Perhaps part of their experience on this Earth, is to serve as pure examples of peaceful, beautiful, trusting beings which remind us to be the same way.

+ And a bonus favorite, since I missed Favorite Things Friday, yesterday: Despite watching a few movies on my flights that left me wondering why anyone even thought that these particular movies should have ever been made (I nickname these types of movies, “This Just Has To Get Better at Some Point, Right???” movies), I did enjoy a gem. Watch Jules. It was one of the sweetest, most heartfelt, amusing movies I have seen in a long, long while.

It’s good to be back, friends. There really is no place like home! Thank you for staying with me during my break from writing, and thank you for indulging me with my “field notes”. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. See you tomorrow.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1699. What is the last song you danced to?

A Little Break

Stream of thought:

For some strange reason, my childhood mailman came to mind this morning. (that’s sort of an oxymoron, “mailman- maleman”) His name was Joe and despite living in Pittsburgh, PA the man was always deeply suntanned, before tanning beds became a thing. Joe wore his hair in a pompadour like James Dean and he walked up to each of our homes, as our mailboxes were hung right next to our front doors. He smoked long brown cigarettes as he delivered the mail, and Joe was always friendly to us kids, keeping rubber bands around his wrist and giving them to us when we pestered him for them. Do you remember your childhood mailperson? What about your bus drivers? Your school janitors? Particular teachers? Some people just have a way of “sticking out” in our memories, you know? I’m sure that Joe would have no idea the impression that he made on us little kids. I find this sort of comforting and hopeful. Perhaps in our lifetimes, doing nothing except going about, doing our daily business, we make an impression on more people than we realize. It’s such a good reminder to remember the kind of impression which we would like to make, especially for the little ones coming up in this world. The impressions we leave are our little chinks and marks and nicks on the world. Joe didn’t do anything particularly special, other than to smile and to take the time to pass out a few rubber bands, as he reliably delivered the mail each day in his cornflower blue uniform. And yet still, I remember Joe to this day. He’s probably passed on as I am 53, and I bet that Joe was my age when he was delivering our mail. But he left a mark, and it was a good one. . . .

Do you have something that you do everyday that you so look forward to doing? Do you have morning rituals or evening rituals that are your comfort signatures of the day? I have many, but perhaps my favorite habit is writing this blog almost every single day. It fills me with such joy and a sense of purpose. Thank you for being such a vital part of it. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. That being said, I am headed out on an adventure tomorrow and I won’t be back to writing the blog for over a week. I love writing this blog so much, that I used to take my computer along with me, wherever I went. I’ve written this blog from different states and even different countries. But I have learned from this experience, that it is best for me to fully immerse myself in my adventures, by leaving my daily rituals behind me. I’ve often thought that one of the best parts of travel is when you start to miss and yearn for all of the comforts and joys of home. Leaving home (fully) makes you appreciate it more.

Since I won’t be writing for the next couple of Fridays, I did want to leave you a bonus gift – a favorite of mine! The Insight Timer phone app has some of the best sleep meditations I have ever tried on it. There are so many different courses and guided meditations on this app, and so far, it has all been free. The Insight Timer is one of the most quality apps I have ever downloaded on my phone. Check it out!

If you miss me while I’m gone, please go through my archives. I’ve been writing this blog for several years now. It always tickles me when I see in the stats, years-old blog posts that are being viewed. I think there might be some treasures in there . . . .

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1921. Do you prefer cats or dogs? (I love most animals and my childhood cat is a legend in my mind, but I’m a dog girl at heart.)

The Part that Isn’t Shown

****Happy Birthday to the love of my life!!! There is no one else I would rather share these amazing memories with, and future incredible adventures with, than you!! You are my greatest gift in my life. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. xoxo*****

Based on the stats, and a few texts that I got from some readers of the blog in my personal life, yesterday’s blog hit a nerve. Wakeup People on X posted this meme below today, that sort of continues on yesterday’s theme. Most of the good which we witness in people’s lives has been hard won, treasured, valued, prioritized, worked for . . . . yes, some people do get “lucky breaks”, but even the “lucky breaks” must be cherished, preserved and appreciated in order for them to continue to be a blessing in someone’s life. It is important to know, and to respect and honor, how hard most people have worked to get, and to keep, their good jobs, their robust savings, their lovely homes, their happy families, their healthy marriages, their vast knowledge, their honed talents, their vital bodies, their strong faiths, their loving relationships, their peace of mind. Most people who have, and who hold on to these things which we say that we universally want, do not take these greatest of things in life, for granted. They work at all of this with the underlying fuel of gratefulness that they have the ability to create, and to experience, and to continue to nourish, all of the best that life has to offer them.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1942. Do you know how to ride a bike?

It Gets Weird

Sometimes you see something that describes yourself and you think, “Wow, spot on. I never saw it so succinctly written, but this is it. This is me.”

I almost feel exposed, but also relieved and validated at the same time. I am a happy, perky, friendly, upbeat person. I get excited about a lot of little things (and big things, too.) I laugh a lot and heartily. I think sometimes I have been mistaken for clueless, naive, “toxically” positive, sheltered, just “lucky”. Sometimes I almost feel like I need to be apologetic about my happy nature and yet, I have certainly had my fair share of heartaches, much like anyone else who has reached their fifties.

My nature is to experience everything fully and deeply. So when I am experiencing “happy” it’s BIG. It’s BRIGHT and SHINY. It stands out. But I take everything to heart. I mull over everything, the good and the bad – again and again. I tend to carry it all with me and sometimes this adds a lot of weight to my soul.

Does this resonate with any of you? Do you feel misunderstood a lot of the time? I hope this added a little understanding to at least one of you, today, like it did for me. It’s an interesting fact that the sun weighs 330,000 times the weight of the earth. So clearly, even carrying around sunshine can be a heavy load.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

2435. What song do you know ALL the words to? (Ummm, “Happy Birthday.”)

Sprinkles

This is all that I have today, friends. It’s been a morning of disruptions and changed plans, but that doesn’t matter. All that matters is the sundae. Wishing you a wonderful sundae with a lot of pretty and yummy sprinkles on top!!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1361. In your opinion, what’s “the best thing since sliced bread?”

Rose of Jericho

These are just a small collection of orchids that we keep on top of our “tranquility pond.” I bought many of them on impulse, during grocery store specials. After their blooms would fall off, I used to start to worry, and do everything that I could to make them bloom again. I often ended up over-watering them, over-spraying them with Orchid food, often to their detriment. My wise husband talked me into bringing them outside, hanging some under some trees and placing many of them here on top of the pond. Now I leave them alone for the most part, just occasionally watering them, and they are so happy. They bloom regularly. They trust in their own natural growth cycles, and now, in my wisdom which I gleaned from experience, so do I.

Above is “The Rose of Jericho” plant. It appears to be just a dead ball of twigs or leaves, but when placed in water it turns green again. It can continue this cycle again and again, drying and withering into a tight little ball, only to open wide up to the fertility and freshness of life, when it is ready to do so, and the conditions are right.

This time of year is the perfect time of year to meditate on your own resurrection experiences, in your own life. This time of year is the perfect time of year to see how many “springs”, both real and metaphorical, have occurred in your lifetime, as you have evolved into the being who you are today. The plants know when it is time to be dormant, and when it is time to bloom. They trust that the conditions will be right for their inevitable growth cycles. If plants and animals live in ease with the cycles of nature, why don’t we?

I read a good story the other day that said we can push “the reset” button whenever we want to, on our own lives, on our own days, on our own minutes. This is a time of year when the “Reset” button is just begging to be pushed. It is big and green and it is raring to go, with big plans for us to grow and to bloom and to come alive again in new splendor. Press the “Reset” button. Press it again, and even again, if you have to, but then trust the cycles. Bask in the nurturance and abundance all around you, and just bloom. Open up to life and bloom.

“If you want your story to be magnificent, begin by realizing you are the author, and every day is a new page.” – Mark Houlahan

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1160. What “new beginning” are you most looking forward to?

Soul Sunday

Welcome to poetry day on the blog. This poem by Rumi explains love better than any technical explanation ever could. This is the beauty of poetry. It speaks of the “beyond”. Poetry uses words to go beyond words.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1953. What is your favorite type of casserole?

The Cord

****Happy Birthday, A! I love you with all of my heart. I’m so proud of you. <3 (No more teenagers in the house.)

When you have children, you want to pour everything that you have into them – your love, your time, your presence, your resources, your hopes, your wisdom, your strength, your intuition . . . . .You want to keep the hardy stream, flowing from the umbilical cord, even though it has long been cut. And then sometimes you get glimpses that your children have incorporated everything that you had to give them into their own selves and yet also they have aspects of themselves that you just can’t help but marvel at, and you know that these added gifts come from a Source so much greater than just you. And then you feel so instantly proud, secure, grateful, and full of awe and amazement. You know that your own cord is just one of the cords that has been, and will forever be, the channel of goodness to your precious children, and your only prayer is that they accept all of the love – all of it, especially the Love which is unfathomably, even greater than your own.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

741. What can people count on you for?

Feathering the Nest

Friends, this time of year always gets a little bit difficult for me. On the late evening of Easter in 2016, I made one of the most difficult decisions that I have ever made in my entire lifetime. I don’t have regrets about the decision. It was the right decision to make, but even good decisions can be really, really hard, especially if they are related to choosing between the lesser of two unpleasant choices. I’ve grown a lot since then. I’ve healed a lot since then. But really painful choices and happenings, tend to remain delicate under softer, thinner-skinned spots, covering the more fragile and vulnerable parts of our entire beings.

I’m not prepared to write publicly about this decision that I made. I’m not sure if I ever will be able to share it, other than with my closest confidantes. I’m a relatively private person and I am also concerned with other people’s feelings and privacy. That being said, I’ve decided to be “real” with myself during this Easter season. I’ve decided to be protective of myself this season. I’ve decided to focus on self-care and to make it my number one priority for the next few weeks, particularly.

If you would like to join me, in giving yourself your own comfortable, nestling, sheltered Easter basket of peace, I am sending you lots of joy and love and inspiration to do it. Give yourself a safe space to “feel the feels.” You don’t need to create a story about the feels. Just know that feelings are normal and that they always pass. I am one who tries to distract myself with rabbit holes and obsessive thinking/focusing when buried feelings come to the surface, so this season I am trying to just notice this habit in myself, and to be gentle and forgiving with myself, but also to nudge myself back to allowing the feelings to flow, without my righteous narrative, without my control issues, without dissociating, without distracting myself . . . . Yes, easier said than done, but this Easter season I am earnestly trying to be more present with it all.

So with that being said, I may write a post every day. I may not. As always, I am so grateful for you, and for your presence and your understanding. I wish for peace for us all. Sending you much love.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

2119. Whom do you feel you have the strongest unspoken bond with?

Saturday’s Snippets

+ We just dropped our eldest son and his girlfriend at the airport after a lovely visit with them. That’s something you never quite get used to with your children, from the moment they leave your womb . . . . the letting go and the saying good-bye. But the reunions are always so wonderful. Like so many things in life, it’s two sides of the same coin.

+ We have our first grand-dog!! Our middle son and his girlfriend adopted a “furry Frenchie” from a rescue. He is beyond adorable! Frenchies do the “zoomies” like no other dog can do. Until I get an actual grandchild, I plan to be as obnoxious as I was last night, passing on videos of our “grand-dog” to anyone who will watch them. (or at least politely pretend to)

+ I learned a new wonderful word the other day. It is a German word. The word is “Nachkussen”. It means to do the kind of kissing which compensates for the lack of passionate kissing that has been needing to happen between two lovers for a while. Purposely schedule some “Nachkussen” with your baby tonight and then thank me in my Comments section tomorrow. (I want to see a lot of gratitude . . . .)

+ The author, columnist and poet Rob Brezsny said that one of the best compliments that he ever received was from one of his readers who said to him, “I want you to know how often your process of being yourself has helped me in the process of being me.” By being fully and truly your entire authentic self, you give others permission to do the same. How beautiful and inspiring! This is how we become “wayshowers.”

“Wayshowing means showing others the way by simply awakening to and living your truth. By being it rather than preaching it. Leave room for people to notice the incredible shifts you are experiencing and they’ll naturally want to have what you’re having.” – Embodying Wild

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

2982. Were you ever a member of a celebrity fan club?