Oh Ian!

It’s a super strange feeling, anticipating a hurricane. You get plenty of warning – almost too much warning. The anticipation is killer. I’m a “let’s just rip the band-aid off, already!” kind of a girl. And Mother Nature says, “No dear, we’re going to make you sit with your fearful what-ifs for a while. It’s good for you.” Ugh.

The last time a big hurricane directly affected our area was five years ago. And we evacuated, with four kids and two dogs in tow. We went to Atlanta and the people there could not have been kinder and more welcoming. Instead of price gouging, they gave us discounts, and extras, delicious heartwarming food and long, caring hugs. I will always have a warm spot in my heart, dedicated to the good, hospitable people of Atlanta, Georgia. But evacuating didn’t come without its challenges. The roads were filled with wall-to-wall, crawling, slowly inching along traffic. We ended up having to sleep one night at a rest stop (six stressed people, including sweaty, ornery male teenagers + two big dogs, in a cramped car = not good sleep), which was littered with cars of people, doing the same exact thing. There were cars everywhere, even on the grass and on the sides of the highway. Most gas stations along the way, were out of gas. And watching the news, wondering what kind of mess we were going to go back home to, was excruciatingly stressful. Media sensationalism is a terribly painful experience, when it affects the people and the places that you most love and care about. On the way home, after the hurricane, we were surrounded on the highway, by brigades of utility trucks from seemingly every state in the nation, heading down to help with our plight. I remember this bringing tears of patriotism and gratitude, to my weary eyes.

We had a pow-wow with our near-by neighbors last night, and most of us have decided to stay and weather this one out in our homes. (Including a doctor and his wife, who is a physician’s assistant, who live across the street. This helped seal the deal for me. We’ll look out for each other. That’s what neighbors do.) This experience will be a contrast to what we did the last time, and I am curious to compare, first-hand, which is the better way to handle these things. Our adult children are all in safe spots away from here, so that is what gives me my greatest peace of mind. Honestly, right now my husband and I find ourselves stressing mostly about inconsequential things, like how are we going to brew our coffee when the electricity is out?!

People often question why you would want to live in Florida, and other tropical spots when hurricanes are a seasonal concern. These perilous storms are the price we pay to live in paradise. Florida rarely has gray days. Sunshine is a given. I can go to the beach for lunch if I want to, and bury my feet in the sand, feeling the soothing gulf breezes, lulling my heartbeat to match the rhythms of the tides. We have gorgeous sunsets, and dolphins are as common as the deer, and the wild turkeys, and the herons and the hawks that we see almost daily. Florida is an inclusive, melting pot. No one feels like an “outsider” because everyone here is from somewhere else. There is something for everyone in Florida, even the kooky “Florida Man.” Our state makes loads of money from tourism. There are many good reasons for this fact. Florida is soothing to the soul.

This may be my last blog post this week before we lose power. I don’t know. Regardless, I’ll see you on the other side of the storm. One thing is for certain – you fully know and understand the people and the things that you truly treasure and mean the most in your life, when you are facing down a life-threatening storm. My dearest readers, I can’t wait to be with you again, after the storm.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Soul Sunday

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Good morning. Tranquility. Peacefulness. Wisdom. Acceptance. Deep knowing and appreciation. Awe. Gratefulness. Love. Unrelenting hope. Comfort. Health. Music in your heart. These are the things that I wish for you, on this lovely Sunday morning. Sundays are devoted to poetry on the blog. Sometimes I write a poem and sometimes I find poems which other writers have written that are just plain magical. Please witness the magic below:

taken in New Mexico
Taken after a big storm in Florida, about a week after the New Mexico sunset

Spanky

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Credit: @woofknight, at Twitter

I’m at an IHOP this morning. I haven’t been to IHOP in forever. I was concerned that they wouldn’t be open this early, but then I saw the sign (OPEN 24/7). How comforting! I love the idea that lonely people almost anywhere, could probably find an IHOP, and sit among other people, any time, day or night. As I stated in yesterday’s post, reliable, steadfast, stable, consistent people and institutions are our national treasures. These are the things and the people and the conditions that are so unassuming and behind-the-scenes that you forget to be grateful for them. But in the end, the things that are so dependable that we often take them for granted, are the things that are missed the most when they are gone. Didn’t the pandemic make this abundantly clear?

Walking into this restaurant, I giggled to myself thinking of a family memory when our children were little. We took our family to a Waffle House for breakfast, which is a similar establishment to IHOP. Our server looked at our youngest son, and he smiled and he said, “Now, what can I get for you, Spanky?” We all laughed until our stomachs hurt, with this new nickname for our little guy, which seemed kind of fitting at the time. To this day, on occasion, my husband still likes to call our 6’2″, strapping, almost 22 year-old youngest son, “Spanky,” and we all laugh remembering this shared memory. It’s part of our family folklore. A stranger has no idea that he created a long-lasting, fun, happy, element to our family’s story.

Yesterday, I picked up our dry cleaning and as I was leaving, the clerk said, “Thank you for being kind.” I had noticed nothing unusual about the pleasantries that we shared. Honestly, I felt like I had been a little distracted. But I am a naturally friendly person. I have a hard time containing myself in my body, if that makes sense. My emotions tend to bubble over and thankfully, I am usually in a good mood. I am happy that she found me to be “kind” in a day that she probably needed some kindness. Think of all of the times, strangers did or said, just the right thing for you, on a day that you needed it so badly, that you couldn’t help but question whether that person had perhaps been an angel on earth, sent specifically to you. Treasure those moments. Send love and good energy to all of those strangers who are currently coming to your mind. I know that there is more than one. Remember to be that “angel”, too. Don’t wait for the “work order” from Heaven. It’s already implied.

Pot of Gold

I’m sorry to be delayed with today’s post. I had a “slumber party” at the beach with one of my best friends from college and I just got home. We have known each other since we were 18 years old. There is something very special and unique to lifelong friendships. We have shared a lifetime of getting to know each and every version of each other, as we have moved through the different stages of adulthood. So we delight in the growth in each other stemming from our lifetime experiences, and yet we also hold sacred the foundation of love and connection that we first felt when we were young ladies, meeting each other, and sensing that spark of kindred spirits.

We both are going through some major changes with our families growing up and having to make decisions about our next moves in our lives. We both have different stresses happening in our lives, yet we are hopeful and excited about the future and the unknowns which lie ahead before us. We were fortunate to wake up to a giant rainbow, glistening and shining over the water. A man at the pool remarked loudly about going out to find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I looked over at my loyal lifetime friend, and I thought about how we first met each other at our wonderful university, and we had so many fun, shared experiences there. I thought about the lovely, lively evening which we had just spent together, getting caught up on each other’s lives. And I thought about both of our incredible husbands (whom we both also met in a college) and our beautiful children and families, and our amazing, mutually shared group of lifelong friends, and I thought to myself, “We already have our huge, gleaming pots of gold. How lucky we are! How truly lucky!”

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Friday is Good For U

“When you meet someone who is good for you, they won’t fill you with insecurities by focusing on your flaws. They’ll fill you with inspiration, because they’ll focus on all the best parts of you.” – Colleen Hoover, All Your Perfects

My daughter joined a sorority yesterday. When she was going through rush, one girl told her to pretend that she was lounging on a couch. The girl told my daughter to ask herself, “With what group of girls could you lounge on that couch, and feel most comfortably, happily and easily yourself?” My daughter told me that she found that perfect fit. She found her space on the right couch. And as a woman who is still extremely close to her best seven friends from her own wonderful college sorority, this makes my heart swell with happiness and hope. We women will always need other good women to paddle through life together. It’s in our DNA.

The emphasis here is of course on “good women“, and women and people, in general, who are “good for us.” As the quote says above, the people who are good for us won’t be judgy and overly critical. The people who are good for us will help us to discover our own very best gifts, and how best to utilize these gifts for ourselves and for our world. Judgmental people put up big blocks in relationships. The judgers cause people to get defensive, to shut down (for fear of more criticism), and they encourage others to start honing in on the critical person’s own flaws. (because none of us are flawless) For this reason, judgers often end up being extremely lonely, angry people. The people who are good for you, are just the opposite. These people will cause you to open up, and to bloom, and in this way, they will make you see the beauty in their own lovely, loving, wonderful characters, as well.

Okay, I get it. I’ve gotten off course. I’ve gotten a tad serious for a Friday post. My apologies. As my regular readers know, Fridays are devoted to the frivolous here at the blog. On Fridays, I list a favorite item, website, book, product, etc. that has made my sensory life nothing short of delightful. Please check out previous Friday posts for more of my favorites and please share your favorites, too. We can all have some of the same favorites. Todays favorite: Garlic Expressions Vinaigrette This salad dressing was supposedly created by a “legendary” supper club in Ohio. I love anything that contains garlic, but somehow this supper club encapsulated garlic in the most dreamy, light, liquid form imaginable. I got my first bottle at the Fresh Market, but I noticed that you can also order a bottle on Amazon.

Have a fabulous, frolicky, garlicy weekend! Spend time with the people who are good for you!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Today’s Mantra

Credit: @WholesomeMeme, Twitter
credit: @Mindset4_Life, Twitter

These are the memes that spoke to me from Twitter today. I read also on Twitter that Harry Styles is extremely upset about what people are putting out on social media about his girlfriend, Olivia Wilde. He said this about Twitter: “a s***storm of people trying to be awful to people.”

I think Harry is right. Social media can be extremely negative, harmful, mean and bullying. It can also be filled with inspiration, beauty, and wisdom. It’s what you look for in anything, that makes it so. Most people, places, and things are just neutral. We put the meaning and stories and attention into/on the item, or the person, or the relationship to these people, places and things. What is terrible for me, might be wonderful for you. The key is to put the focus on what is wonderful for you.

Are you letting yourself be loved, you grumpy little shit? Earlier this week, I got a root canal and honestly, I haven’t felt this good in quite some time. I realize I had been walking around, ignoring a growing, gnawing problem (literally in my head) that I was hoping would magically just disappear. Most of the time, life doesn’t work this way though, right? Our bodies, and our emotions send signals which grow louder and louder, for a purpose. They are saying, “Let yourself be loved, you grumpy little shit!”

Truthfully, I have more energy and vitality than I have felt in a while. I had the infection removed and my whole body is sighing with relief. My husband read that in the 1800s, people had a higher average body temperature than we have these days, because many people walked around with low-lying infections and diseases that could not be remedied. We have so many remedies these days for so many problems. Are you utilizing the remedies that are needed for your own mind, your own body, and your own spirit?

Today’s mantra is “Let yourself be loved, your grumpy little shit.” (and this means putting a big emphasis on showing love to yourself in your every waking moment, and in every decision that you make for yourself. Love and gratitude radiates outward from a healthy, loving heart. We will all benefit from your healing.)

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Sentience

“A person who leaves when they are angry, often returns. A person who leaves when they are calm, rarely returns.” – Wise Connector, Twitter

“The opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference.” – Elie Wiesel

Love and hate are often passionate and fueled with emotion. Many unhealthy relationships (romantic and otherwise) exist on the yo-yo spectrum of love and hate, because the parties involved are in love with the drama, and the excitement, and they are individually fueled by the passion and the spectacle of the relationship, not necessarily with each other. This yo-yo string keeps them connected, and the back and forth cycle continues ad nauseum, until someone finally burns out and the string is irretrievably broken.

Any time in my life that I came to a conclusion about leaving a place, a job, a relationship, a situation, a habit, etc. it always came with a quiet, calm, sincere fullness of knowing. The last drop fell into my already overflowing pitcher, and there was no more room left for me and my energy, to stay in an untenable situation. It is in these moments in my life when I fully came to understand what my own intuition really and truly feels like. The comfort of the wisdom of our intuition is other-worldly. Intuition doesn’t arrive with an highly detailed plan book and a guaranteed crystal ball prediction of the future. Instead, intuition comes with an assurance like you have never felt before. It assures you that all that you have to do is take the next right step, and you will be lead. Intuition is not necessarily fearless, but it is reassuringly affirming that you are more than able to rise above the fear and do what you must do. Intuition comes to us with an urgency that is not excitable, but is intense and persistent. Intuition is our best leader, but your intuition won’t force you to follow it. Intuition is much like love – patient, kind, understanding . . . . Perhaps our own intuition, is the best form of self-love which we can ever know. Substitute “intuition” for “love”, in the ever comforting love verses in the Bible. It makes complete sense. Love is an action. Following your intuition is the act of loving yourself.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Miss U

My daughter and I both get reunited with our romantic partners today. My husband has been away for over a week, helping an ailing family member. And my daughter took summer session classes at her university, while her boyfriend travelled with his family to see various friends and relations over the summer. This morning, needless to say, the air in our house is one of girly giddiness.

You really know how much you care about someone when there is an aching void in your life when they aren’t around. While I think that it is healthy for everyone to get individual breaks from one another, there is truth to the saying that absence makes the heart grow fonder. You forget about all of your nitpicky gripes that you have about your partner, when you are pining away for the comfort of their every day presence.

I’m happy that my daughter and her boyfriend have modern day technology like FaceTime and Snapchat and texting. When my husband and I were in college, we spent every summer apart, as we lived in different states, several hours away from one another. With having jobs and other responsibilities, we were lucky if we saw each other once in a summer. We didn’t have cell phones, and those long distance calls were incredibly expensive. So, we wrote love letters. Remember those? Sigh. Love letters are wonderful. Maybe this modern technology isn’t always such a great thing after all.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

What Matters

Some things matter and some things don’t. The journey of life is about discovering the difference.

~ Alan Cohen

I love the story I read over the weekend in People magazine. A little girl was on a flight with her parents, and as they left the flight and were walking in the airport, in the wee hours of the morning (I think around 2 a.m.), the little girl panicked realizing that she had lost her first baby tooth and that she didn’t have it with her. It had probably fallen out on the plane. A pilot, seeing the little girl’s distress, promptly came over and wrote a note, vouching for the lost tooth, for the little girl to give to the Tooth Fairy. The note asked the Tooth Fairy to accept the note in lieu of the tooth. I am sure that the Tooth Fairy accepted the note.

Kindness matters.

I also read an excellent article by Paul Sutherland in Spirituality & Health magazine. The article was talking about perspective. He wrote this:

“I have been immersed in spirituality and religion my whole life. I met a few “repent or go to hell” fearmongering Christians, Muslims, and Jews along the way. Listening to the frown-lined devotee who is keen to save my soul, I ask: “Are you happy?”

I pause for their answer. I then ask: “Are you saved, or content that your life is reflective of Moses, Jesus, or Muhammed, or whoever guides your worship?”

I then listen and simply say, “Seems if I had a personal relationship with God, was feeling guided by God’s presence, and had faith, I would be so happy, optimistic, and joyful that I would hardly be able to contain myself. I certainly would not be running around judging people and tearing down those God created in God’s image.”

Paul also told the story about lamenting about all of the world’s ills to one of his teachers. His teacher let him go on and on and then said firmly, “Paul. Suffering exists so we have something to do.” Paul Sutherland ended his article with this statement:

“I realize that, actually, suffering can be our call to optimism, to act, to hope, and to work for a world where every person goes to bed feeling safe, happy, loved, full, connected, and optimistic about tomorrow.”

Perspective matters.

Masaru Emoto, a famous Japanese author and researcher, studied water crystals and what the effects of words and feelings have on water crystals. Here is an example of some of his findings:

Whether you believe these findings about water crystals to be true or not, we already know what Emoto was trying to convey:

Gratitude matters. Wisdom matters. Truth matters. Peace matters. Love matters.

It appears what really matters in this world, are those things which are eternal and recognizable to all of us, no matter our age, our country, our language, our backgrounds, our educations, and our beliefs.

Love matters. Love matters. Love matters.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Fret Less

What makes the other people in your life happy?

My husband loves to go biking on his beautiful, orange, sexy Italian bicycle for miles and miles. He comes back home all covered and dripping in sweat, with the widest, longest lasting grin that I ever see him wear.

My friend loves to kayak. She is a teacher, so she is off work for the summer, so our friend group rarely hears from her during the day, because she spends her days in bliss, floating and rowing on our beautiful, clear Gulf waters. Almost every morning we get a text, “I’ll be out on the kayak today!”

My daughter is loving her new, engaging, interesting college experiences. On Facetime, she delightedly showed us a coaster that she had made in a crafting class (she loves doing artistic things), and was thrilled to relay that she spontaneously jumped into a volleyball game. Apparently her days of playing volleyball in middle school came right back to her, and she was proud of the “high fives” that she received from new friends, for some smooth moves on the sandy court.

My youngest son loves showing us the creative projects that he is required to come up with, during his summer’s internship. Part of the job requires him to take pictures of happy customers with the power tools that he has sold to them. Every day, it is fun (and sometimes even surprising – there are some adorable, teeny women who love themselves some power tools) to peruse the pictures of the happy, anticipatory faces of the various customers with the tools that they are purchasing, probably with ideas of what they are going to create and improve in their own sweet nests at home.

A few of my friends are in new, fresh, budding love relationships. It’s so delightful to see friends whom I have known for decades look like excited teenagers again, as they explain the fun that they have been having getting to know the new loves in their lives. I sometimes can see their original fresh faces (the faces which I met when we were teenagers) shining through their smiles, as they excitedly, and yet shyly, describe their new escapades.

Our two eldest sons were visiting each other last week. They cheerfully and teasingly described biking to the beach together, and trying out delicious new restaurants which they both enjoyed. There’s nothing a mother loves more than seeing her kids lovingly share experiences together, even when they are no longer under her roof. When your kids elect to be together, instead of being forced to be together, you know that there is real honest love there. (good heart medicine for mamas)

Friends, the news these days is often not good at all. Reading the news or watching the news, makes me feel sick in the deepest pit of my stomach. To offset those sickening feelings which I know aren’t good for my mental or my physical health, I try to think of happy thoughts. There is no easier way to do this, than to think of the people whom I love, doing the things that make them feel happy and whole and alive and inspired. And when I do this, guess what I feel inside? Happy and whole and alive and inspired. People who love me, can think of me in my purposefully cluttered writing nook, every once in a while gazing out of my large windows, to see the inspiration of the gorgeous nature surrounding me, enjoying the quiet snores of the dogs whom I adore, contentedly napping all around me, as I connect with the deepest, most creative, most eternal part of myself, struggling to type the words fast enough, that are bursting forth from my heart. I am so happy writing my blog. What makes the people whom you love happy? Think about that thought. Imagine it fully. Now, transit that thinking into what makes you happy. Go do more of it. Fret less, experience more. Look for the happy.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.