inspiration Archives - Page 67 of 81 - Adulting: Second- Half

Fried Egg Friday

Happy Friday!!! Happy Best Day of the Week!!! Typically, on Fridays (when I am in a good, happy mood) I share three favorites of mine: movies, songs, websites, products, books, pet stuff, etc. Today I am in a good mood. I choose to be in a good mood. I choose to pick the thoughts that support my good mood. From experience, I can tell you that my mood is usually a choice. Today, I choose to feel good. Now in reality, my regular readers know that I am a big proponent of feeling your feelings. I am a big proponent of being real and authentic. I also understand that sometimes, our dark emotions are caused by messed up chemicals in our bodies, which is out of our control, and may need some serious intervention. And of course, we all know that repressed feelings are not good for our bodies or for our psyches. Still, in my experience, in many cases, you can choose to move past your darkness. I’ve earned the right to say this. We’ve been going through hell with my youngest son’s epilepsy the last few months and I have definitely let myself feel the pain, but I have also crawled back to the light. It feels better in the light. Today, I choose to bask in the light.

In a text chat earlier this morning, a friend reminded us of another matter-of-fact, practical friend’s wise words of advice, “It’s only a big deal, if you make it a big deal.” Be choosy about what you make to be the big deals in your life, friends. Not everything has to be a big wave. Help yourself to give yourself some smooth sailing.

My favorites today, are all in video form. I was introduced to two new songs this week, which really moved me. They went into my playlist. See if they speak to your ears. My final favorite for this week, is a link to a video series by a young man who is a travel vlogger, named Drew Binksy. Drew has visited all 197 countries in the world, in the span of ten years and he has made some amazing videos about his adventures. In his latest video, he talks about his eight biggest “takeaways” from this experience. Here are my favorite two insights of his:

+ “The world is safer than you think and 99.9% of people are good people.”

+ “Food is the ultimate connector because everyone needs to eat.”

Choose to have a great day today friends. It’s a precious day in your life. Feel the feels, but then let them go. Here are the links to my favorites for today:

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Flying Reindeer

https://twitter.com/filodxxn/status/1465850060235751425

When my middle son was a little guy, hedging his bets, he said to me, “You know, Mom, I still believe in Santa Claus, but flying reindeer, come on! I don’t believe in flying reindeer. I just don’t.”

After watching this video this morning, I kind of do. I kind of do believe in flying reindeer.

I saw this quote on Twitter today, too:

“Life is so subtle sometimes that you barely notice walking through the doors you once prayed would open.” – @meh_thinks

Isn’t this the truth? Look around you, just sitting where you are right now, and look at all of the things and comforts and relationships and friendships and conveniences and answered prayers that you, at one time in your life, fervently hoped and prayed would come into your life. As soon as we get these answered wishes and desires, we quickly start focusing on what we are still lacking, don’t we? Our center of attention always goes to our next wants, making all of our answered prayers seem so easy to take for granted, as if they were always there for the taking, in our lives. Desires are good. Hope is good. These are the attributes which lead to more invention and creation in life. But still, so is appreciation and gratefulness for all that we have already been given. Desire and hope are most potent when they are blended with big dollops of awe and thankfulness and recognition of our constant flow of blessings. Life is like a stealth butler at a luxury hotel or at a Disney resort. It makes sure that all of our needs are being met, quietly and magically, so as to not interrupt or disturb us, as we sometimes walk around impatiently and in a huff and with an air of entitlement, wondering, aghast, why we should have to wait in line for our next big adventure. The audacity!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Big Brood

I figured that we could all use some holiday cheer:

My daughter asked me how to begin her letter to Santa Claus so I suggested she start with, “Hear me out …” (@Dad_At_Law Twitter)

credit: Rex Masters, Twitter

Happy Hanukkah to my Jewish readers!!!

****I know that a lot of you are worried about me and my family, but we are doing okay. A good night’s sleep does wonders. One Day at a Time. It’s the only way to live. You savor and experience your life more that way. Don’t worry. Be happy.****

When you raise a big family (we have four kids), you do a lot of dishes and laundry and driving and PTA forms. You do a lot of juggling of schedules and cars in the driveway. There is a steady hum of noise in the house, always. You are constantly cleaning up messes.

When your big family grows up and moves out, you honestly sometimes forget what raising the big family was like. And then they come home for the holidays, and you are swiftly reminded. As you are doing yet another load of laundry and the dishwasher is running yet again and your husband is vacuuming for the third time in one day, and you have to yell out over all of the noise for someone to move their car so that another car can get out of the garage, and you are trying to remember where everyone is and where everyone is supposed to be, you take a pause and you smile to yourself. You are reminded that you made it through 12 years of high schoolers, relatively unscathed. You are reminded that you helped to give a good, solid start to four wonderful people who are already making a difference in this world. You pat yourself on the back with sheepish pride. And although you realize that you certainly don’t have the energy to do it all again, you are incredibly happy that at one time in your life, you did have the energy to raise a big family. You realize that your big family helped to make your heart grow big, and a big heart is full of love and love is the stuff that sustains you, and that thought is what carries you through the final folding of towels and sheets, from the recent reunion of your big, beautiful brood.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Not-So-Funday Monday

Yesterday morning, right after I published my blog, I took my dogs outside. My phone rang and I saw that it was our middle son calling. I knew what he was going to say before I even said “hello.” He and my youngest son had gone to a local park to play in a pick-up soccer game. My youngest son had an epileptic seizure on the field, in the middle of the game. I am grateful that my middle son was with my youngest son during this time. My middle son is a student in medical school and he, like the rest of our family, has witnessed many of his little brother’s seizures. In fact, my middle son witnessed my youngest son having his first major seizure, when my middle son was driving them both to their high school, many years ago. He attributes that experience as one of the major reasons why he decided to go into medicine. My middle son knows what to do when a seizure happens. He took good care of his brother, as always. The local EMT crew came. They know us by name now. They took good care of my son, as always. Luckily, since they were on the grass, and his brother was with him, my youngest son wasn’t greatly hurt, just some sore muscles and a scratched up face from some pebbles in the grass. He came home to recover from his seizure. He came home to my waiting arms.

My regular readers know that we have been going through hell this fall with my son’s epilepsy. His seizures are currently not being well-controlled by medicine. In September and October, my son suffered at least one major seizure a week, landing him in the hospital three times. He is currently taking five different anti-seizure medications, as doctors scour for a medication combo and a dosage, that works to keep the seizures controlled. We were cautiously optimistic that we had finally found that holy grail of medications, because this November, our son was almost one-month seizure free. Yesterday ended that streak.

I feel horrible today. I felt horrible yesterday. I feel deflated, dejected and scared out of my mind. But, honestly, I felt wonderful throughout our Thanksgiving break with our family. I felt pretty good the week before Thanksgiving break. I even felt pretty good the week before the week before Thanksgiving break. I sometimes cautioned myself that “I was setting myself up for a big fall,” with all of my hopeful optimism, but I didn’t care. It felt so good to feel good again.

During Thanksgiving break, our family, all six of us, had a great time together. We cooked, we shopped, we went to the movies, we even went boating. My youngest son went to the gym with his brothers, and golfing with his buddies who were home for Thanksgiving break. I won’t pretend that I didn’t have nervous moments. I won’t pretend that I stopped being hyper-aware of any strange noises in the house. I won’t pretend that I didn’t keep my son on a strict medication schedule. But I relaxed, I laughed, I savored. I had so much fun. I felt so much joy.

And today I feel so, so sad, but during the rest of November, I mostly felt ease and comfort and relief, because I let myself feel those better feelings. If I had stayed miserable and fearful and depressed and angry, all of November, yesterday’s seizure would have still happened. Despite what we erroneously believe, worry doesn’t stop any negative experiences from happening. Worry doesn’t help anything at all, and we all know this, but I got a very clear example of this fact, taught to me with this lucid life experience. I am thankful that I let myself enjoy a nice, and hopeful month, because I would have still felt so, so sad today, even if I had fretted and worried and been miserable for the whole month of November.

I say to you this: if you are in a budding new relationship that you are enjoying, savor it. Experience this relationship fully and excitedly, without fretting if and when it is going to end. If you have lost a lot of weight, be proud of yourself. Delight in your triumph. Don’t spend time worrying if you are going to gain all of the weight back. If things are going well in your job, with your family, with your friends, with your health, with your bank account, with your life, soak it all in. Enjoy the good! Facts are, upsetting, negative things happen in life sometimes. That’s just the way of life. No one is immune. Save feeling lousy for those times. Save it up, and rightfully feel miserable when you are in the middle of a rough patch. But don’t let those awful feelings seep into your good times. Let your bad times, make your good times feel that much more amazing and glorious and precious. You are strong enough to handle adversity, and wise enough to know that by feeling happiness in the good times, you are giving yourself something to look forward to, when you are in the middle of experiencing your hard times. Give yourself the gift of savoring life in the moment.

In the bad times choose to grow stronger In the good times choose to enjoy fully

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

All Good

credit: Think Smarter, Twitter, @WakeupPeople

In the last couple of months, which have been a pretty hairy time for me and my family, because our son’s epileptic seizures had been out of control, I would notice my knee-jerk response to anyone who asked me, “Hi. How are you today?”

“Fine, thank you. How are you?” or even sometimes, “Great! How’s your day going?” were my pat responses, and always said in overly chirpy and in overly zealous, zippy tones. The worst I ever said was, “Pretty good.”

Now, of course, this is what we all do. The clerk at my grocery store does not honestly want a play-by-play of my sh*tshow of a day/week/month/year, and I don’t want to have an emotional collapse, in public, while purchasing some milk, bread and broccoli, in front of a bunch of hungry strangers. But still, at those times, I was honestly feeling really rotten. For the first time in a long time, I noticed my answers to those socially polite questions, and I noticed how false my fake answers rang out to me. I was lying through my teeth. Yet, just like Think Smarter states above, maybe my answers held some truth. “Fake it, ’til you make it.” Who knows how things in our lives on Earth are going to turn out, until the very end? And even then, the collective belief seems to be that after our lives on Earth, most (if not all) of us will all transition to an even better place. How many terrible, rotten, no-good experiences, in retrospect, after bringing you to your knees, brought you to new heights in your life, in ways that you could never have imagined? We all have had our rising-from-the-ashes Phoenix moments, oftentimes more than once.

So, with that in mind, how are things for you?

“It’s all good,” at my corner of the Earth. “It’s all good.”

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Where You Belong

So, on a random tweet which I read last month, from an account I don’t even follow, a book was recommended as a life-changer. It is an obscure, out-of-print book written back in the early 1990s, but somehow I was able to obtain a used copy from a seller on Amazon. I’ve looked every day on Amazon since I purchased the book (including today), and it is always listed “Currently Unavailable.” I truly believe that this book came to me right at the moment that I needed it. The copy was reserved for me.

I’m not going to even mention the title of the book. How many times have you had a book, or a movie, or a podcast, or a sermon, or a lecture, or a workshop, or a comedy skit, make such a profound difference in your own life that you decide you have to get everyone you love and care about to experience the same depth and download of knowledge and insight and pleasure, and so you enthusiastically recommend such book/movie/podcast/sermon/lecture/workshop/skit, and you are surprised with the lackluster “meh” you get from many of the others to whom you made such recommendation? In fact, those of you who like to read my blog regularly, have probably recommended my blog to others, and you have probably heard “meh” about my blog, and that’s okay. It’s not for everybody.

My bigger point here is that enlightenment is personal. Enlightenment is a journey. Enlightenment is pretty simple, really. It means to embody and to be the light that is in yourself (and is in everybody else, too, even in your awful neighbor). Enlightenment means to notice the light in everything and everyone else (even your awful neighbor). Enlightenment means to stay in the present moment, and to experience life, just as it is, without judgment, but in peace and in serenity and in faith and in gratitude. It’s hard to stay in an enlightened state of being. Most of us just get glimpses of it, here and there, as we trudge along living our lives, and sit angrily and fearfully, in our struggles. That’s why I love the reminders that the Universe sends my way, in the forms of people, and books, and movies and podcasts and sermons and lectures and workshops and comedy skits (when I am willing to notice these reminders). I get my own unique “wake-up” call from the Universe reminding me that everything that I need, is right there for me, right inside of my heart and in my deepest knowing intuition. The reminders are subtle, but they hit deep. Peace and serenity are quiet, tranquil entities. They aren’t forceful nor loud nor controlling nor shaming. Peace and serenity are patient. Peace and serenity wait for us to come calling (We usually do this after a major biggie life event that has brought us exhausted, and to our knees, finally making us willing to surrender completely. We humans are stubborn this way.) and then peace and serenity calmly and sweetly and knowingly say to us, “We’re glad you’re home. Sit with us. Stay a while. In fact, never leave. This is where You belong. In fact, honestly, we never left you, and You never left you.”

Peace And Serenity Quotes & Sayings | Peace And Serenity Picture Quotes

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

The Bougainvillea

bougainvillea | plant genus | Britannica

The first time I saw a bougainvillea flowering bush, I was visiting Puerta Vallarta, Mexico. My husband had just finished a grueling MBA program, which he worked on obtaining, at night, for three years, after working all day at his regular job. We were celebrating his graduation, and our growing family. We had our two-year-old son with us, and I was very pregnant with our second son. Our eldest son has curly, red hair and the older Mexican women were convinced that his rare hair meant good luck. They made a point of coming over to us to pat his head for the transfer of good luck, wherever we went – the beach, the stores, the restaurants, the pool, the bus. My son loved the attention, and we found it amusing and endearing. I’ll never forget it.

Back to the bougainvillea – I became as entranced with the plant, as the women were with my son’s silky red curls. The bougainvillea was everywhere I looked. It was so robust and beautiful and apologetically flowing. I had never seen such a bright, vibrant, cascading waterfall of flowers. I honestly fell in love with a plant, for the first time in my life.

Now I grew up in Pennsylvania, and that is where we were living at the time. We had a townhouse with a large window on the second floor, directly above our front door. Despite the fact, that Pennsylvania does not at all have a climate that suits a bougainvillea, I decided, against all odds, that we would have one. I found a lovely wrought iron window box and somehow, somewhere in Pennsylvania, I was able to obtain a small, hopeful twig of a bougainvillea plant. I proudly planted it, in that showy window box, as an homage to all of the gorgeous window boxes, filled with bougainvilleas, everywhere I looked in Mexico. I couldn’t wait for the window box to overflow with flowers.

My bougainvillea plant did okay. It half-heartedly made it through the summer, with a couple of sparse blooms. It tried its best. The bougainvillea inherently knew that it’s a naturally, hardy plant, so it soldiered on, but honestly, the plant just wasn’t “at home”, at all, in the northern state. It’s a tropical plant. Before the first snow, the bougainvillea was nothing more than a few leafless sticks, sitting like a plant cemetery, unwelcomingly on top of our front door. Here was another lesson in life, learned by me, the hard way.

In retrospect, this was one of the many times in my life, when I didn’t let what was coming to me, come at its own accord, and in its own divine timing. I impatiently tried to push my own agenda, before it was time. It’s a lesson in which I have had to repeat again and again and again, many, many times in my life. It sometimes seems impossible for me, to learn to surrender to the higher forces in my life. I am still trying to learn to trust that what is meant for me, will arrive for me, when the timing is right, and it will be even more wonderful than I ever imagined. (I should trust this fact. It has been proven to me, again and again and again.) If I am honest with myself, at the ripe old age of 50, I am still learning to trust the process of Life. I am still learning to trust God/Universe to provide for me in all of the ways in which I have imagined. The Higher Forces do so much better for me, than I do for myself, but alas, I’m a stubborn fool (again and again and again).

Today, we live in Florida. When we purchased our home, one of the first things we did, was to go to the local nursery, which is filled with inexpensive, overpowering, over-flowering bougainvilleas. Bougainvilleas are so common here, that I think that some people may consider them to be giant, overbearing weeds. We purchased two small potted bougainvilleas, and we planted them on either side of an arch, which leads to our front door. In less than a year, the two small potted plants, furiously grew and came together at the top of the arch, becoming one with each other. The plant has flourished ever since. Our bougainvillea is so healthy and happy, that it has survived over-zealous tree trimmers, being split in two during a hurricane, and being roughly pushed around by painters and plaster repair people. In fact, we have to give our gorgeous bougainvillea “a haircut” more often than we get our own haircuts. This plant is the bougainvillea that I always dreamed about since the minute I laid eyes on bougainvilleas in Mexico. It is perfect. I knew that I would have this beautiful bougainvillea to gaze upon whenever I need a shot of inspirational vigor and exuberance. I just had to wait for my bougainvillea to arrive in the perfect way, at the perfect time, just as my deepest self knew that it always would. When will I learn?

Lovely quote on perfect timing. | Inspirational quotes motivation, Words quotes, Words

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Happy, Peaceful People

credit: wise connector, Twitter

These are the hard truths which we don’t always like to accept: We decide to feel happy or not, and no one can make us feel happy, nor can we make anyone else feel happy. Happiness is an inside job. We can all name people we know, who based on their great luck and fortune, and high income, and their families and their “things”, and their health, and their opportunities etc. , should be among the happiest people on the face of the Earth and yet, these people are instead, utterly miserable. And then we all have met people who have experienced some of the most tragic of circumstances imaginable, who still have the brightest, shiniest smiles on their faces, and we wonder, how can this possibly be?

This is not to say that we must deny or suppress our other feelings. It is not healthy nor is it realistic, to not feel the wide spectrum of human emotions. We were designed to feel our feelings, and to use them as a compass, and as a way to guide and to heal ourselves, throughout our lives. You can still be a happy, peaceful person and feel great sadness about a loss. Happy people still shed tears. You can still be a happy, peaceful person and process your anger about an unfair situation. Happy people learn to be assertive when their boundaries are trampled upon, which is noticed when we feel the burning alert of righteous anger. You can still be a happy, peaceful person and feel the worrisome rush of fear when encountering a circumstance in life, in which you have very little control. Happy people know that fear can be helpful to remind us to move with caution, but also happy people know that fear can be overcome. In fact, to truly be a happy, peaceful person, you must allow yourself to feel all of your feelings without judgment. Feelings just are. Happy, peaceful people know this. They don’t allow any of their feelings to stay stuck inside of them. Happy, peaceful people observe the thoughts and the stories which they are telling themselves, which are helping to create these feelings, and they make course corrections, as necessary. Happy, peaceful people feel their feelings, and then they let them go. Happy peaceful people stay in their core. They stay in a pleasant state of presence and awareness, just observing and experiencing life and emotion, as it happens and unfolds.

Years ago, I worked for a woman who owned an insurance business. During this time, her brother whom she was very close to, died of throat cancer. She became depressed after he died and she would call me every single day, for many weeks, to say that she wouldn’t be coming in to the office that day. My employer told me that she sat on the same spot of her couch for hours at a time, day after day, to the point that the pillow of her couch became permanently indented. Then, one day, out of seemingly nowhere, she bustled into the office, her usual energetic, optimistic self, full of new ideas and directions in which she wanted to take her career. When I looked astonished to see her almost miraculous recovery, I remember her saying to me, that it was quite simple. She was sick of feeling sad.

Happy, peaceful people are typically full of acceptance. They accept reality as it is, not how they would like it to be. They accept the people in their lives, as they are, not how they would want them to be. They create healthy boundaries, in their relationships and in their circumstances, because they deeply value themselves, and the one life in which they have any bit of control over, their own life. I read something recently that made sense to me. You don’t need to care for other people, in order to care about them. In fact, other than in emergencies, most adults should be perfectly capable to care for themselves. It is disrespectful to not allow other adults, to have their own autonomy. Happy, peaceful people respect themselves, and they respect others. Happy, peaceful people trust Life.

Amazon.com: It's sad when you can't make everyone happy... - Stephenie Meyer quotes fridge magnet, Black: Home & Kitchen

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Unbreakable

Yesterday, I received the terrible news that my cousin’s wife died. They have two very young daughters. Honestly, friends, I am a little overloaded with the feeling of sadness these days. It’s getting to me, and “glum” is so not my “go-to” state in life. I think most people would describe me as cheerful, upbeat and optimistic. I would describe myself that way. I still am cheerful, upbeat and optimistic. It’s just that lately, I feel like I am clinging to these states of being with white knuckles and angry, indignant frustration, added to the mix of my stubborn peace and happiness.

In all truthfulness, my life is mostly amazing. But I have also gone through my fair load of sh*t in life, just like everyone else. I could list some of my worst experiences and you would say to me, “Yikes. That’s really, really crumby.” But on a much bigger list, I could list all of my life’s blessings and miracles and wonderful experiences and you would say, “Wow, you are so damn lucky!” I suspect most human lives would fall along these lines. In most of our lives, the good still outweighs the bad.

My college friends recently bought me a beautiful pendant. It is a Celtic knot and it holds the word “UNBREAKABLE”. It means a lot to me, that my friends see my strength, and know that I will survive whatever life has in store for me. And I will thrive through the thrilling times, too. I wish that I didn’t have to focus so much on my steely, “unbreakable” side these days, but this part of me is what is forcibly carrying me to the softer, kinder times, surely to be close around the bend. Sometimes being strong and unbreakable, means remaining cheerful, upbeat and optimistic, no matter what!

Hearts will never be practical until they are made unbreakable | Mood quotes, Love quotes, Words quotes

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

In My Hole

When I’m feeling particularly lowly, I dig a big old deep introverted rabbit hole and I go down to the bottom of it and I hang out there. It makes me feel safe. Luckily, I like my own company – even the frowny version. Mercifully, the people whom I love the most, get that about me. They don’t force me to crawl back up, before it’s time. Occasionally, I hear some shouts from the top of my rabbit hole, and a long rope, with a bucket attached to it, is lowered down, and the people who love me most attach little notes and texts, telling me that I can stay down here, as long as I need to, but in the meantime, here are some cards and gifts and reminders that when I decide to crawl back up towards the light of the sunshine, there will be people waiting for me, who care about me, up at the top. If that’s not hope and love, I don’t know what is. Thank you. I love you. I’m just recharging down here. It’s all going to be okay. I’ll be back up soon!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.