inspiration Archives - Page 62 of 79 - Adulting: Second- Half

Changing It Up

Last night, my husband and I watched the latest episode of “1883”. There was a poignant scene (spoiler alert) in which Elsa tells her mother that the pioneers (many of these pioneers were immigrants from other countries) who are bringing all of their old customs, and the ways of the lands which they are trying to escape, are going to end up with the same, sad situations that made them willing to leave all that they had known, for a wild, and full of danger new country. I have looked all over the internet for the exact quote (because Taylor Sheridan’s writing is more eloquent and divine than mine), but I wasn’t able to find it. In short, the conversation was making clear, the old adage, “Wherever you go, there you are.”

I jotted this quote down the other day:

“If you desire to make a difference in the world, you must be different from the world.” @DukeHomer, Twitter

Change is a deliberate process. And change is never easy. Real changes start from deep inside of oneself, and it is these internal changes that start reflecting real change in the externals of our lives. To make real change, you must change the way you think about things. To make real change, you must be capable of honest self reflection. To make changes in your life, you must stop reflecting on what you do not want, what you do not like, what is bad, and you must pivot all of these thoughts to what you do want, what you do like, and what is the good for which you are aiming to achieve. Once you have decided what you are aiming towards, you can then create the steps that you must take, in order to create this real change in your life. To make real lasting change, you must put all of your focus back onto yourself, the only person whom you are ever capable of changing.

We all have done this process of change in our lives. Most of us have moved out of our homes and away from our families of origin, and we have created our own families and homes and daily lives. We have taken the habits, and the customs, and the traditions that we liked about our families of origin, and we deliberately included them in our own lives and homes and families, and yet, on the other hand, we have done some things differently from where and whom we came from, because these things no longer served nor resonated with our adult selves and the families and the lives we desire to have and to experience.

Change is very much a conscious act. Change is sometimes thrust upon us when we experience a major lifestyle change or suffer a loss in our lives, such as a death of a loved one, or a major illness, or a severed relationship, or the empty nest, or a job loss. However, it is how we react to any of these situations that will make the difference between a true, healthy, growing, metamorphic change happening for us in our lives, versus if we struggle and fight against a change, with the fruitless idea of being able to keep things always the same, and under our own individual control.

Real change is purposeful and it is not easy. But deliberate reflection, and then taking the steps for meaningful change, is what gives our lives more purpose and more meaning and more vitality and more satisfaction than just about any other experience that we have in our lives. To create meaningful change in our own lives, reminds us of our own individual power and our freedom to be exactly who we are individually meant to be. To make change, is to be the deliberate creators of this world which we share. We were all given the ability to make changes in our lives, but the desire for change has to be strong enough for us to take the first difficult steps, and then to take the the many more steady, willful, confident, vision-filled steps to achieve the difference we want in our lives, and thus, the difference that we ultimately want our lives to be, in the greater world around us.

36 Best Quotes About Change - Wise Words About Transitions

101 Quotes About Change in Life - Inspirational Change Quotes

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

The Guilty

My husband and I just finished up the fourth season of “The Sinner.” It’s a great show. I highly recommend it. Without giving too much away, a character in this recent season tells the detective, Harry (who is the protagonist in all seasons of “The Sinner”) that his guilty feelings are coming from his ego. This perked my ears. When we feel guilt, we often like to believe that this guilt comes from the most holy part of our conscious, but this is not necessarily always the case. Appropriate guilt energizes us to make amends and to do better, but many of us walk around with quite a bit of unsubstantiated guilt, which isn’t doing anything for anyone. This kind of guilt veers dangerously into the territory of shame.

We love to say that “so and so” made me feel guilty. Yet, we all have heard and intellectualized the statement that no one can make us feel anything. Our feelings are ours to own. Our reactions to other’s actions, are all our reactions to deal with, and to explore. People can be manipulative and conniving and they can try to play on our emotions, but it is up to us to explore our emotions and reactions, in order to understand where these emotions and reactions are coming from. These emotions are all ours. It is up to us to decide whether pleasing or disappointing someone else is really our responsibility and further, are their reactions to our choices really our responsibility, either? Appropriate guilt is when you have done something morally wrong and against your code of character. Inappropriate guilt truly does come from an oversized ego that believes that it is responsible for all the happiness in the world. Inappropriate guilt keeps us feeling responsible for living for other people, making us believe that we must be who they want us to be, and do what they expect us to do, in order for them to be happy. Our ego says that we have the power to make other people happy, but the hard truth is, none of us are that powerful. Happiness is an inside job for each individual. People getting what they want may bring a temporary relief to them, and a temporary relief to our sense of “guilt and responsibility”, but in the end we all are in control of our own feelings which come from our thoughts and our perspectives on what is happening in our own lives.

Sometimes we think that feeling guilty makes us better people, but guilt is really a useless emotion if it doesn’t inspire us to make healthy changes in our lives. Wallowing around in guilt, doesn’t help us, nor anyone else. We think that carrying around guilt is a form of punishment for what we have done, but this carrying around guilt is not doing anything for anyone. This act is useless. And with this realization, it becomes interesting to explore the tie of ego to guilt. We must really think that we are big, important stuff if “we are guilty” for all of the pains in the world, or even for all of the pains in our small corner of the world. Ego loves to make us feel more important and significant than we really are, in the overall scheme of things.

Those of us who feel a lot of “guilt”, like to believe that we are good caring people who worry about everyone’s feelings. We like to believe that we are “good” people who feel connected to all of those around us. I remember the first “aha” moments, when my “saintly side” was figuring out that she was more tied to her outsized ego, than she would like to believe herself to be. I started to come to realize that I was personalizing others’ rude behavior towards me. I believed that others’ nastiness was all saved up for me, until I started noticing that most other people were also at the receiving end of these same damaged people’s mean and nasty and passive aggressive, underhanded behavior. In other words, their behavior wasn’t all about me. I wasn’t the center of the universe. Mean people’s meanness is about them. I’m not a special target.

So, in this same light of understanding, this kind of “aha moment” came back to me watching “The Sinner” the other night. Feeling guilty and responsible for other people’s happiness and their feelings, is much about my own ego. It makes me feel powerful to think that I am in control of how other people feel. Ewwww. Once again, reminder to self: I am not the all-powerful, center of the universe.

To distinguish between appropriate guilt and inappropriate guilt, ask yourself these questions: What have I done wrong? Is someone feeling disappointed truly my responsibility? What would I expect of others if the roles were reversed? Am I responsible or even capable to make anyone feel anything?

If you come to the conclusion that you have actually done something harmful and wrong, apologize, make amends where you can, accept the consequences to your actions, and let it go. Carrying around a big bag of guilt is not going to do anything helpful and positive for anyone. And if you realize that you are feeling inappropriate guilt, remind yourself to tame your ego. You are not the grand wizard of fixing everyone’s feelings. Simply put, you are not that powerful. Put the focus back where it should be, on the only person’s feelings and perspectives you have any control over: your own.

15 Guilt Quotes ideas | quotes, inspirational quotes, me quotes

21 Guilt Quotes, Inspirational Words of Wisdom

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Relax, Relax, Relax

I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious. - Albert Einstein

Isn’t this a wonderful time in the world to be a curious person? Thank you, Google. National Geographic used to be a stack of weirdly thick, yellow framed magazines on my grandfather’s coffee table. Today, National Geographic is not only a magazine, but also a website and a streaming channel. Never has information been so vividly and easily accessible to us, in our lives. We all can be Einsteins if we want to be. It turns out that Einstein and Curious George had a lot in common.

Einstein also said this:

“I think 99 times and find nothing. I stop thinking, swim in silence, and the truth comes to me.”

I love this phenomenon, don’t you? It is thought that some of our greatest insights and answers come to us in our dreams, when we are at our most relaxed and not desperately turning the wheels in our minds. That’s why it is always suggested to have a tablet right by our bedsides, to jot down the wisdoms from our dreams when we wake up.

When we were in San Francisco a few years ago, my husband purchased me a jade bangle from the Chinatown district. Chinese people have prized jade for over 7000 years. They consider jade to be a living force which protects the wearer and they even believe that jade has some healing properties. It is a wonderful souvenir from that particular trip. The jade bangles do not have clasps, and you want the bangle to just be slightly bigger than your wrist, or otherwise it is annoying to have the bracelet slide up and down on your arm too much, and bang on everything in sight. Therefore, due to their tight fit, the jade bangles will not slide on to your wrist when you are too rigid and uptight, and trying to force them over your hand. “Relax, relax, relax” is all that the shopkeeper kept repeating to me as I was desperately trying to try on my bangle, like one of Cinderella’s sisters trying to stuff her foot into the glass slipper. So, finally, taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes, I let my thoughts float away, and then, I slowly opened my eyes, only to see and to feel the jade bangle sitting nicely on my wrist. (and then I started panicking about getting it off of my wrist, but that is another story for a different blogpost.)

Maybe today is a good day to “relax, relax, relax.” Maybe today is a good day not to force anything, but instead let the answers, and the inspirations, and the guidance float over to us, only to set nicely into our hearts. It took me a long time to figure out that I will never be able to outrun any of my dogs, but if I just stay calm, and I stand in place, with a gentle, knowing confidence, my dogs always run right back to me. Perhaps that is the same with “the truth.” If the truth came to Einstein in this fashion, it will work for us in the same way. Maybe the truth never left any of us. Perhaps, we just haven’t been relaxed enough, to let the truth bubble up slowly to the surface.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Your Story/Plot Twist

People have commented to me more than once, that they are amazed that I write consistently, practically every single day, at least one sentence, on this blog. I do like to believe that I am a reliable, loyal, consistent person. I think that to get really good at anything, you must do it consistently. Certainly, I do like the idea of this blog being a comfort to those who come here every single day, to ponder along with me. The thought of our virtual, intimate commune, fills me with a form of deep and grateful contentment.

That being said, as fulfilling it is to have readers and to have others validate my musings, I do this blogging for me. It is not a chore. It is not even a purposeful, daily practice. Writing is one of my greatest joys and pleasures. When I am writing, it is the part of my day that I feel most fully myself. My writing time is probably the most sacred time of my day. I can’t wait to get up and write in the morning. I get giddy thinking about what I am going to write about next. Writing is my passion and I now realize that I let it remain dormant for much too long a time in my life. Throughout the years, my desire to write would try to force itself out, pushing through the doors, in the form in extra long emails to my friends and my family, in flowery work memos at my part-time jobs, in extra-descriptive posts about items that I was selling on eBay, and in half-started journals along the way. But I didn’t really open the door wide open to my passion for writing, until 2018, when I was 48-years-old. I didn’t surrender to my muse despite all of its gentle nudging and subtle hints sent along my way. I didn’t allow my longing to write to become a priority, until I decided that I would have to do it, or bust.

What is lying dormant in you? It is never too late to open the lid, pull it out, dust it off, throw away all of the old crusty criticisms from yourself and from others, and just do it. Just bask in it. Have a reunion with your deepest longings. Feel the joy of reconnecting with that which makes you feel more alive than anything. If you feel a stirring, but you are not sure what that stirring is, look for clues. What makes you curious? What gets your most rapt attention? What did you love to do as a child? What did you love to do that you shut down long ago, because someone else put it down? What is something you liked to do, but you stopped doing it, because you were afraid of stealing the spotlight from someone else with the same interest and talent (i.e. “my brother is the musician in the family”)? Whose talents do you most admire? What do people remark about what is special and unique and interesting about you? What are you quick to volunteer to do? What are things that you do, that when you do them, time stands still? These are the breadcrumbs that will lead you back to your passionate self. And remember, it doesn’t matter what anyone else is doing or how they are doing it. This world would be an incredibly dull, uninspiring, unstimulating place if we all liked and did the same things, in the same routine way. Start a love affair with your deepest self today. It is never too late. The recommitment ceremony in your heart will be incredibly beautiful, and it will be one of the best feelings you have felt in a long time.

“It’s your story. Feel free to hit ’em with a plot twist at any moment.” – Think Smarter, Twitter

Michael Hyatt Quote: “Consistency is better than perfection. We can all be consistent-perf ection is

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Magnificent Woman

As Elsa watches her mother, Margaret (Faith Hill) herd cattle, she sees her as a woman – not solely a mother – for the first time: “I watched her ride and I didn’t see my mother. I saw a woman. And the woman was magnificent.” Jan 16, 2022

(from the TV Series and Yellowstone Prequel “1883”)

The other day, my friend mentioned that she attended a funeral of a man who had died. When he was alive, the man was passionate about two major hobbies in his life. My friend said that the man’s wife announced that she planned on continuing with his hobbies as an act of keeping him alive in her heart. My first thought was that this was sweet, and romantic, and loyal, and beautiful. But my second thought was, “Wow, this is what we women do so much of the time. We take on the passions and interests of our lovers and of our families and we often whittle our own passions and interests down to mere afterthoughts, to the point that we often forget what these passions were at all.”

I’ve witnessed it again and again, in myself, and in other women whom I know. We are the supporters and the nurturers, so we become “the soccer moms” or “the football moms” or “the wife of the esteemed So and So”. And our own interests and hobbies which are what make us unique in this world, often get relegated to the bottom of the list, the first things to get cancelled and crossed off when the calendar gets filled. And we are okay with this. We are the ones who do the crossing off. It makes sense to us. How could a book club or an art class be more important than supporting our loved ones at their functions and activities? We slowly diminish our own selves and we take on the role of “family cheerleader/supporter/bolster” to the point that our whole identity is wrapped up in other people’s lives and experiences. And without those “other people”, we are a little lost to ourselves. And they don’t know us as much more than an assistant to their own needs. And at the very worst, we start resenting others for this type of martyrdom, when they never asked us to do this for them in the first place. We start resenting others for what we have done to ourselves.

While watching the episode of “1883”, where the teenage daughter shockingly realizes that her own mother can ride horses and herd cattle every bit as deftly as she can, we see that the daughter is filled with awe and pride. Up until that moment, the daughter has only known her mother as “the mother”, the supporter of her father and of the family. She is in her late teenage years when she first comes to the realization that her mother is a woman in her own right, filled with talent and skill and bravery and regality, all outside of her role as the matriarch of their family.

When talking with my husband about this phenomenon that I’ve noticed and pondered, he said that he witnesses many men losing their individual identities to their careers. He has known many men who get their entire sense of self, solely from their job titles and thus, he knows men in their late seventies, with enough money stashed in the bank for five lifetimes, fearful to retire. They are so wrapped up in their jobs, that they don’t know themselves without these duties, responsibilities and titles. They don’t know themselves without the role that they play in their careers.

I’m not saying any of this is bad, per se. We have to make sacrifices and prioritize our lives in ways that make sense. We, of course, must be responsible to our responsibilities. And our life roles and our responsibilities are often things that we are passionate about. Still, aren’t we also responsible to nurture and to bring about the most innate, creative, unique version of our own selves into this world? It is our own unrepeatable, distinguishable self who initially attracted our lovers to us. Our children want to know the sides of us that exist beyond fulfilling their needs, especially as they become independent adults. Watching us fulfill our own interests, gives them permission to do the same thing, guilt-free. Our children want to fully understand their own DNA, by witnessing the fullness and uniqueness of us, from whence they came. We owe it, not just to ourselves, not just to our loved ones, but also to this world, to this one experience that we co-create together, to really explore what uniquely fills us with passion and desire and meaning and purpose. We owe it to ourselves, to our loved ones, and to this world, and to its Creator, to explore and to prioritize and thus to become the fullest expression our own unique spark and mark that we make in this world, outside of any roles or titles that we take on, throughout the journey. We must be as interested in what makes us tick, as individuals, as we are dedicated to the support roles which we play in life. Otherwise we cheat ourselves and we cheat others out of how amazing and astonishing this experience of Life, that we all share together, can truly be.

TOP 25 ROLES IN LIFE QUOTES | A-Z Quotes

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

What Is Resonating Today

“I saw my shadow today. 6 more weeks of dieting.” – Jessie@mommajessiec (Twitter)

“You’ll solve the problem and get a surge of gleeful excitement. This kind of charge could get addictive. And who do you have to thank for it? The problem itself, without which none of this would be possible.” – Holiday Mathis

“Welcome to your 50’s; you’re unable to drive at night now.” – whatitsmenej (Twitter)

These quotes above, are what is resonating with me this morning. Using my recent colonoscopy as a springboard, my husband and I decided to give the popular “intermittent fasting” a try, in order to lose some of the pandemic pounds that were so easily added over the last couple of years. (Why is it never as easy to take these pounds off, as it was to put them on?!?) We went to bed at 8:23 p.m. last night, to end the suffering. I am seriously considering going on Ralphie’s (our Labrador retriever) diet, instead. A couple of cups of Hills Science Diet RX Ridiculously Expensive Emergency Lose Weight In a Big Hurry or Pay For ACL Surgery kibble actually sounds like a bountiful banquet, compared to yesterday’s Jello and broth cuisine. (although, of course, Ralphie was still begging for my Jello . . .)

And how about Holiday Mathis’s quote? It’s true, isn’t it? There is great satisfaction in solving problems, but if there are no problems, there is nothing to solve. We all know the typical, classic good feelings, such as giving and receiving gifts of love and kindness, or finding something, like a book or a movie or an adventure to be funny and fun and enthralling, or the feeling of being totally passionate about someone or something, or the feeling of great pride in achieving a hard-won goal. (and honestly, one of my all-time favorite feelings is satisfying my raging curiosity) But right up there, in the all-time greats of feelings, is the satisfaction of problem-solving, right? There is something really triumphant feeling about checking off another thing on the “to-do” list. So, the next time we look at our exhausting, seemingly never-ending to-do lists of things to do and to fix and to solve and to get to the bottom of, let’s also look at these lists as a list of things that are going to bring us the excellent feeling of great satisfaction, with each item that we finish, and cross off of the list. We all know, “There is no light without darkness.”

Finally, when I was young and stupid, it used to annoy me when older women would complain about driving in the dark. “Things have a weird haze to them at night now, especially the street lights.” “My depth perception is all funny at night.” “I don’t like to drive too far in the dark.” Damn, it wasn’t a made-up thing. Add “I don’t like to drive too much at night anymore,” to my list of things which I told myself that I would never, ever say when I got older, but have already said, more than once. Never say never.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

The Lesson of the Curls

Quotes about Psychological projection (26 quotes)

The ego loves projection,... | Quotes & Writings by Your Voice | YourQuote

This is how my mind works: For some crazy reason, as I was folding some laundry earlier this week, I started to think about a girl who I was friends with, in middle school. We were in a lot of the same classes and we played on the basketball team together. One day, we were being driven to practice by her mother, and I distinctly remember my friend turning around, from her front seat, looking at me, and saying how much she hated when people didn’t comb out their hair. Now, this was back in the early eighties, when a lot of us girls set our hair, in pink foam curlers, at night (you know the ones). Lovely. Just lovely. Ha! Anyway, my friend and I were no exception to the pink curler habit. Now, my friend, was a really cute girl, and she had really cute, short blond hair that she set in these pink foam curlers, every single night. And truth be told, my friend seemingly never really completely combed out any of those curls. It was something that I had actually noticed about her many times. Even that day, I had noticed a row on the back of her head, of uncombed out, blonde curls that could have easily still been molded on to the pink foam, that’s how perfectly and distinctly those curls sat, perched on the back of her head. But really, she was an adorable girl, she was my friend, and I figured that she liked to wear her hair that way.

At that moment, when my friend decided to announce that she hated uncombed hair on people, I kind of froze. My first go-to move, as any insecure, gawky, middle-school age girl would do (and honestly, probably the first go-to of any woman, of any age, who feels a little insecure about her own looks and persona, on any particular day) was to quickly finger my own hair, to make sure that I had combed it out sufficiently. My next go-to, which is always my go-to move, to this day, was to start panicking and to start over-thinking about the situation. Was this a test? What would a true friend do? Should I tell her about her own uncombed curls? Does she know about her curls, and is daring me to say something? Would this turn into an argument? Would she start counter-attacking me? Could I handle that? Was our friendship doomed over uncombed curls?

I remember deciding to just meekly agree with her and then quickly change the subject. “I know, I hate that, too. How’d you do on the English quiz?” I must have said something to this affect. But obviously and pathetically, this is an exchange that I still go over in my mind, from time to time, forty years later. (Am I alone in remembering some of this crazy, random stuff? The amount of stuff that I don’t remember scares me sometimes, but these kinds of seemingly inconsequential, quirky memories are the kinds of situations that my mind likes to catalog, and then send frequent pop-up reminders, like pop-up ads on the internet. And next, my mind goes, “Hey, this could be a blog post.” And then, here we are . . . )

As I pondered this situation, in my mind, once again, earlier this week, I thought to myself, “It really is true. Whenever we really have a visceral reaction to something, or when we decide that we have to announce that we “hate” something, there most likely, is a hint of whatever that thing is, inside of us, that we have decided to disown.” The opposite of love is not hate. The opposite of love is indifference. If we are indifferent to something, we really don’t care about it. The things that we are indifferent about, have no meaning or interest to us. Love and hate evoke passion and strong feelings. We feel attached to the things which we love, and yes, it is true, we even feel attachment to the things which we say that we hate.

I decided that I might finally be able to put that silly memory about my friend to rest, if I memorialize it, by playing sleuth on my own self. The next time that feel the need to announce that I hate what someone else is doing, I must look for that same action in myself. I must humble myself to find it, try to correct it, and to forgive myself for 1) doing it, and 2) for projecting it completely on to someone else. I am the only “project” that I have to work on in this world. And oh my, what an eccentric, complicated, interesting, goofy, fun, intriguing project I have been assigned! The project of “me” is enough for any one lifetime. This I know.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

The Fill

Like so many others, I was shocked to read the story of the former Miss USA, Cheslie Kryst, killing herself by jumping off the 29th floor of a New York City building. Cheslie Kryst was an absolutely stunning young woman, who had both an MBA and a law degree from a very prestigious university. She worked as a correspondent for Extra Television (for which she had been nominated for Emmy awards) and she had her own fashion business. In March of 2021, she wrote as essay for Allure magazine about turning 30. Here are some excerpts from that essay:

“Each time I say, “I’m turning 30,” I cringe a little. Sometimes I can successfully mask this uncomfortable response with excitement; other times, my enthusiasm feels hollow, like bad acting. Society has never been kind to those growing old, especially women. (Occasional exceptions are made for some of the rich and a few of the famous.) When I was crowned Miss USA 2019 at 28 years old, I was the oldest woman in history to win the title, a designation even the sparkling $200,000 pearl-and-diamond Mikimoto crown could barely brighten for some diehard pageant fans who immediately began to petition for the age limit to be lowered.“

A grinning, crinkly-eyed glance at my achievements thus far makes me giddy about laying the groundwork for more, but turning 30 feels like a cold reminder that I’m running out of time to matter in society’s eyes — and it’s infuriating . . . .

After a year like 2020, you would think we’d learned that growing old is a treasure and maturity is a gift not everyone gets to enjoy. Far too many of us allow ourselves to be measured by a standard that some sternly refuse to challenge and others simply acquiesce to because fitting in and going with the flow is easier than rowing against the current. I fought this fight before and it’s the battle I’m currently fighting with 30.

When I graduated from college and opted to continue my studies at Wake Forest University, I decided I’d earn a law degree and an MBA at the same time. (Why stop at two degrees when you can have three?) I joined a trial team at school and won a national championship. I competed in moot court; won essay competitions; and earned local, regional, and national executive board positions. I nearly worked myself to death, literally, until an eight-day stint in a local hospital sparked the development of a new perspective. . . .

I discovered that the world’s most important question, especially when asked repeatedly and answered frankly, is: why? Why earn more achievements just to collect another win? Why pursue another plaque or medal or line item on my résumé if it’s for vanity’s sake, rather than out of passion? Why work so hard to capture the dreams I’ve been taught by society to want when I continue to find only emptiness?

Too often, I noticed that the only people impressed by an accomplishment were those who wanted it for themselves. Meanwhile, I was rewarded with a lonely craving for the next award. Some would see this hunger and label it “competitiveness”; others might call it the unquenchable thirst of insecurity.“

After reading this, I ran into the kitchen and I hugged my daughter and I reminded her that she is lovable just as she is. She is she. And that is wonderful, and it is enough. It will always be enough. Just fully “being” in every single moment, is all that is required to live, and to experience this awesome adventure which we call life and living. That existential hole that exists in all of us, cannot be filled with beauty, accomplishments, money, stuff, addictions, trips, awards, compliments, degrees, relationships. It can never be filled with externals, as desperately as we try sometimes. Our voids are filled, when we realize that everything that we need is already contained inside each and everyone of us. The one universal thing that every single one of us human beings shares, is Awareness. We all share the ability to notice what we are sensing, to notice what our fleeting thoughts are saying to us, and to be mindful as to where our emotions land in our bodies. We all even have the ability to notice the universal “hollow of the void.” If we can accept that everyone has the same exact peaceful, untouchable, eternal Awareness, inside of each and every one of us, and that Awareness unjudgmentally notices and stays in awe of everything in our unified experience, then we really aren’t alone, nor separate, are we? The Awareness is what is truly experiencing a (and every) lifetime in a certain body, in a certain set of circumstances, during a certain time period. And the Awareness is experiencing everything, at all times, forevermore. (Remember Awareness is the ocean, we are the waves.) Our silly little made-up egos and personalities (the little ripples and waves), are just along for the ride of the bigger Ocean’s overall experience. The hole isn’t empty. It never has been. It has always been quite full and it flows eternally. We just need to remember that we are not separate from Life/Awareness/Ocean/God. We are all One with it. And if we can keep that perspective, and remember to just live in the moment, and if we don’t take our own “little selves” too seriously, we can experience our lives the way our lives were meant to be experienced, moment by moment, in peaceful awe and pleasure and in pride of our One Ever-Flowing Beautiful Creation.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Soul Sunday

“Some people are museums of little things that matter.” – ghost @dead poet ______ (Twitter)

I love this quote. We all know people like this, don’t we? These are people who have a knack of putting neat little touches on anything and everything. Or these are the people who know just the right words to say, or the things to do, just at the right time. I have always said that I want this blog to be a sweet little museum of thought and ideas. I like being a curator of “things that make you go hmmm.” I like being a curator of little thoughts that can make a big difference. I like being reminded of the little things that matter.

With that thought in mind, Sundays are devoted to poetry on the blog and I have discovered a new (new to me, anyway), interesting, spicy new poet. He’s a little profane and to the point, which makes his poetry so good. My amazing aunt, who has been a wonderful supporter of my blog, since day one, recently told me that she likes all of the different “voices” which I bring to the blog. She was paying me a kind compliment, but I, of course, had to make the joke that the blog’s different “voices” all come from my multiple personalities (you know, all of the little voices in my head 😉 ). Today, I celebrate the naughty, edgy side of my personality, by sharing this poet’s work. If you prefer to keep Sundays sweet and holy, perhaps it is best to read Jonny Ox’s poetry, tomorrow.

Jonny Ox | Words, Daily affirmations, Quotes

Jonny Ox — Just in case you don't know what's happening,...

Someone should knock on common sense's door and make sure that fucker's still aLIVE. -Jonny Ox - America's best pics and videos

There is enough pain in the world nd those of us who recognize it are obligated not to cause a@ single drop more -jonny ox - America's best pics and videos

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

These Five Statements

The Wise Connector on Twitter posed this question a few hours ago. Most people answered “I need help” but many people admitted that all of the above are difficult things to say. I wonder if you could test your own personal evolution with the idea of reaching the point in your own life, that none of these statements would be hard to say. All of these statements could just roll off your tongue, as easily as “I’m hungry,” or, “I like Netflix.”

For the longest time, I didn’t tell people that I loved them. I just assumed that they knew and honestly, it felt a little squirmy to say it. Then, something clicked in me, probably about ten years ago, that made it much easier and pertinent for me to tell my people that I love them. If I am honest though, it mostly comes out as, “Love you!” For some reason “Love you!” feels light and casual and less vulnerable. Lately, I have been making the conscious effort to add “I” in front of “love you.” I’ve been telling my people, “I love you.” The “I” connects and commits me to the the love which I so deeply feel for my loved ones. So, my wonderful readers, know this: I love you.

The things that I am most proud of in my life, I have had to make a conscious, deliberate decision to do, and to be. Usually these decisions came from wanting to make a change from something that was causing pain in my life. That’s the beauty of pain. Pain is viscerally telling us that we need to take things in a different direction. I wonder if we all have some areas of pain in our own lives, that could be healed by us being able to say, any and all, of the statements written above, with purity of heart and intention and commitment? It could be that simple. It really could.

“To anyone afraid to love, Unconditional love is the greatest of gifts. My dad loved with everything he had. He had so many reasons to be scared to love. So many loved ones kept dropping the body. Instead of being scared, he loved more. I am beyond grateful to receive and to give that love.

Love completely and be kind. Of all the lessons he taught me, these feel the biggest.” – Lara Saget, about her late father, Bob Saget

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.