Tag: inspiration

It’s Your Thing

I don’t believe that there is any decent writer who isn’t also an avid reader. Most days before I start writing, I do a fair amount of reading. Interestingly, no matter how randomly I seem to choose my reading materials in the morning: news stories, essays, book chapters, tweets, horoscopes, old journal entries of my own, text exchanges, magazine articles etc., a common theme often seems to evolve. Today, from my various readings, I jotted down these ideas that seemed to be “the message” which my most intuitive self was trying to bring to the forefront of my mind and into the guidance of my everyday life:

Don’t fixate on the negative.

Enjoy and fully appreciate the everyday modest delights in life.

Keep it simple.

One of my readings this morning included this quote:

“A multitude of small delights constitutes happiness.” – Charles Baudelaire

This morning, not long after I jotted the French poet’s astute quote down into another one of my almost full leather bound notebooks (On an aside, I consider these notebooks of mine to be some of my greatest treasures in life. These ever-evolving notebooks contain thoughts and wisdoms that provoke my own thinking, and they guide me and inspire me to my own innate wisdom and peace. These personal treasure boxes are available for anyone who can read and who can think and who can feel, to create and to accumulate and to savor. If you don’t have a “thought museum” journal/notebook/scrapbook, start one today. They are like potato chips. You won’t be able to stop at just one.), I started reading another excellent article by the New Zealander, Karen Nimmo. Karen Nimmo is a psychologist and a prolific writer and this particular excerpt from her article stood out to me, and enforced and validated this one main message that seems to be the theme of my reading today:

“Life is challenging, that’s the deal we all sign on for. But if you find one thing — one thing — that gets you excited even in small doses, one thing that makes you come alive, preserve it. Nurture it. Build it. Sneak back to it. Invest in it. Because it’ll be there for you all the days of your life.” – Karen Nimmo

I have often thought that if I am fortunate enough to grow old and feeble, I hope that I will always have the ability to read, and hopefully, even to write. (More than once, I have even pictured little old lady me, perched in her comfy bed, in the nursing home, reading to her heart’s content, all day long until it’s time for dinner, and then I even hope to be able to read, while I am eating my dinner.) Reading gets me excited, even in small doses. So does writing. Writing makes me come alive. And so every morning, as Nimmo suggests, I preserve these activities. I nurture them. I prioritize them. I sneak back throughout the day to look at my blog, and to read any comments, and to read other various written communications that have caught my fancy. I invest in these activities on a daily basis, because they are an investment in my own happiness and fulfillment and feeling of purpose. My happiness and excitement and contentment is positive energy that spills out to my home environment, and to my family, and to my pets, and to my friends, and to my community and to my world. My investment in my deepest, truest self (even in small doses) ends up being my gift of joy to the world. Win-win. What is “that thing”, that “one thing” that makes you come alive? What’s that “one thing” that brings out your most beautiful, positive, alive and happy energy, so that when you do “that thing”, it only adds to the bank of positive energy that our world so desperately needs right now? Whatever that activity is for you, doing “that thing” is your gift to yourself, to your family, to your friends, to your community and to your world. You owe it to yourself, and you owe it to all of the rest of us, to do that thing that makes you feel the most alive, even if it is only in small doses. In a world where we are facing a horrific crisis that has absolutely no winners, we need loads and loads more of the magnificent, light-filled, uplifting, excited, loving, positive energy that is a “win-win” for all of us. As Nimmo says, find “your thing”. “Preserve it. Nurture it. Build it. Sneak back to it. Invest in it.” Do it for yourself. Do it for all of us.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

THE Favorite Thing Friday

Best Ways to Support Your Ukraine Workforce - DistantJob - Remote Recruitment Agency

I’m sorry, friends. In light of what is going on in the world these last couple of days, I am not feeling my usual lighthearted, “let’s just focus on the material stuff” Friday mojo. Like so many of us, I’ve been spending a lot of time reflecting on what is happening in the Ukraine. I’ve been noticing my feelings, and I have been spending a lot of time praying for everyone around the world who is suffering from pain, fear and disillusionment.

I’ve taken this current horrific situation going on, and I reflected on its “microcosm” that by now, at our ages, everyone has experienced at least once, in each of our lives:

“No one is coming to save you. This life of yours is 100 percent your responsibility.”

It’s a cold, hard truth and the first time that this truth smacks you in the face, it is so scary and dark and lonely and painful to fully realize this truth. It’s brutal. But then, the redemption occurs. This is the very moment that you learn to trust yourself. This is the very moment that you learn that you can rely on yourself. This is the very moment that you come to know your strength and your determination and your resilience like you never have before. You never feel more fully alive than when you fully realize your own worth. You realize that you are worth fighting for, that you deserve more than what you have been allowing, that you have people (and higher spiritual forces) who love you, and who support you, and who want to help you in your cause. This is the moment that you realize that you love yourself, and that you value yourself and there is no one who knows you, and what you need better than you. There is no one who will take better care of you, than you. This is the moment when you realize your own worth. This is when you experience your own personal freedom and victory. This is the day that you realize your greatest champion on Earth must be you. When this occurs, all the forces in the natural and in the supernatural are by your side, and the wind is at your back. You are filled with an energetic, wise knowing and confidence that you deserve to be the fullest creative expression of your truest self and you will let nothing will stop you from realizing your highest form of being.

Today is an excellent day to focus on your favorite being in the whole wide world, to focus on the person who was with you from the very beginning of your birth here, and who will be with you to the very last breaths of your stay here on Earth. Today is an excellent day to focus on your favorite being in the world who has been with you through every single up and down that you have ever experienced in every single day of your life. Today is an excellent day to be thankful to your favorite being for all of the experiences shared, the warm, supportive relationships created, and for the creative journey currently being experienced in the here and now. Today your favorite anything, should be YOU! Everything that you need, is inside of you. Your navigation system is forever connected to the Highest Loving Intelligence that exists. Trust this fact. Trust yourself. Love yourself. Your superhero is You. And you are more incredible and worthy and capable than you ever give yourself credit for being!

And also for today, my daily mantra on the blog is directed specifically to the warmongers in this world:

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Prayers for Peace

My prayers are for the Ukrainian people, particularly the children. May their fears be snuffed out by the peace of a strong faith and the perseverance of endless hope. My prayers are for our world leaders. May these leaders only hear and react to the quiet wisdom and guidance that is imparted to all of us by the Divine, for the highest good of us all. May peace reign.

Gandhi quote "The day the power of love overrules the love of power, the world will know peace"

“You can’t separate peace from freedom because no one can be at peace unless he has his freedom.” – Malcom X

“The first peace, which is the most important, is that which comes within the souls of people when they realize their relationship, their oneness with the universe and all its powers, and when they realize at the center of the universe dwells the Great Spirit, and that its center is really everywhere, it is within each of us.” – Black Elk

“I do not want the peace which passeth understanding, I want the understanding which bringeth peace.” – Helen Keller

“Peace, commerce, and honest friendship with all nations… entangling alliances with none.” – Thomas Jefferson

“Mankind must remember that peace is not God’s gift to his creatures, it is our gift to each other.” – Elie Wiesel

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Return If Possible

“Sadness is the soul’s way of saying this mattered.” – (from the video above), Jane’s “Ted Talk from Bed Talk”

I, like so many others, was a little bit soul-shattered to hear of Jane’s (Nightbirde) passing over this past weekend. I thought that Jane was incredible – the epitome of beauty, inside and outside. Her voice and her music were amazing, but her writing and her wisdom is what touched the depths of my being. I read recently that we all want to live a long life and to have a short death, and Jane didn’t get either of these. Still, Nightbirde persevered and she inspired millions all around the world, to do the same, and to remain in awe of the beauty in life, all around us. Jane often used the hashtag phrase, #SeeJaneWin. She did win. She won at life by living life fully, and honestly, and earnestly, and faithfully, and hopefully and authentically. She didn’t cheat herself from experiencing “the all of it All.” And she inspired so many others to do the same.

I’ve read a lot of the comments, outpouring on Nightbirde’s Instagram in these past hours after the announcement of her passing. Jane energized many people to keep on going, during their own trials, and health failings, and dark moments in their own lives. So many people testified to this fact. So many people consider Jane to be “an angel on Earth.” One person wrote R.I.P., RETURN IF POSSIBLE. I like that version of R.I.P. We need more Janes in this world. Jamal Edwards, a young, influential rapper, and writer from the United Kingdom recently passed in the last couple of days, as well. He is credited with this thought: “The goal is not to live forever, the goal is to make something that will.”

Our bodies will eventually turn to dust, and our things will be sold in estate auctions. Our only real, everlasting legacies are what and who we affected in this world. These actions are what create the ripples that move all across the waters that cover this entire world, and these collective actions form what we now call “history”. What we create, what we experience, and what we bring into fruition into this world are our gifts, and our endowments to the banks of inspiration, hope, wisdom, experience, strength, faith, beauty- all of the elements of life that others can draw off of, when needed. Our daily being is our one precious gift to this Tapestry of Life that is being created by all of us. We all have the ability to give the highest and fullest and truest forms of ourselves back to the banks of Life. That is our only goal: to give back to the world the only part of us that will last forever – Love.

Thank you, Jane. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Bless you, you beautiful soul.

nightbirde - Twitter Search / Twitter

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Come On Now!

Yesterday, at physical therapy, I met Anna, a hilarious octogenarian of Greek descent. I overheard her talking to her physical therapist, a man in his late thirties, who shares Anderson Cooper’s same sweet, embarrassed, shy laugh which he was doing all morning because Anna was a hoot.

In a heavily accented voice, this was the first conversation that I heard her having with her physical therapist:

“So, I told my friend about my doctor. And she went to him. Now my friend is a very attractive 80-year-old. She’s had a few facelifts, but you know, she’s eighty. And my doctor is very good looking, but he is 51. My friend says to me, “Anna, is your doctor married?” I said, “What are you, one of those cougars? That would be like having sex with someone who could be your son. Come on now!”

She interspersed “Come on now!” a lot in her conversation. And her physical therapist did his Anderson Cooper-like nervous, yet appreciative laugh, throughout all of her exercises and her stories.

She continued, “Now when my husband turned 90, we stopped having sex. That door was shut. Come on now!”

I couldn’t help myself, I started laughing out loud and I don’t have a shy Anderson Cooper-ish quiet, embarrassed giggle. I laugh out loud and proud. So at that moment, Anna peered over at me, her eyes piercing holes through her large, artistic, black glasses, right through me and she said,

“You, my friend, are an eavesdropper!!! Come on now!” (Now, my regular readers know that I cop to being an eavesdropper all of the time on this blog, but this is the first time that I actually got called out on it, by someone whom I was eavesdropping on. Nevertheless, I got the sense that Anna sort of liked my eavesdropping. She liked an audience. She seemed kind of “show-bizzy”.)

I said, “It’s true! But I only eavesdrop on interesting people.” Her physical therapist just looked at me with wide eyes, and continued his nervous giggle.

Anna liked that answer. She continued talking to her physical therapist, maybe even slightly more loud and animated, this time about her depressed friend Linda, who always calls Anna, apparently, in order to get cheered up.

“Oh, Linda, what are ya down about now? Linda, you gotta smile. Life isn’t so bad. Come on now!”

I was disappointed when Anna’s physical therapist told her that they were moving to a different station all the way across the room. Before she headed over there, she marched over to the table, where I was lying on my stomach doing leg lifts. This is when my loud laughs perhaps turned more into a nervous giggle. Anna grasped my hands and she said, “Young lady, (I loved her for that description!), always remember, laughter is the best medicine. Keep laughing! Come on now!”

Come on now, readers! Laugh a little today. Life isn’t so bad!! A sweet and salty old bird with a feisty attitude and a zest for life reminded me that laughter is the best medicine in all of the world. And she looked (and clearly felt) terrific! Take a double dose of laughter today. You won’t regret it.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

My Pleasure?

“Customer service is just someone on the phone telling you to do it yourself.” – Erica Rhodes (comedian), Twitter

I love Erica Rhodes. She is brilliant. I highly recommend watching one of her comedy specials, if you need a laugh today. Yesterday, after spending at least ten minutes banging on my keypad, trying desperately to not have to converse with a pointless robot, I finally got to a customer “service” person. At one point the customer service person at the other end of my phone literally said to me in a flat, disinterested voice, “with everything that you have going on with your bill” as if her own company had nothing to do with the graffiti art that is my cell phone statement every month. I honestly just started laughing, slightly maniacally, and she sounded confused but then started laughing along with me.

In all fairness, the other day, after opening up an oil soaked box from Bath & Bodyworks because whoever packed the box seemed to think that 2 inches of bubble wrap, total, was more than enough for 25 fragile glass fragrance bulbs, to be shipped in, all the way across the country (and this being the second time that I had experienced this fun-filled phenomenon in a row), I spoke to a Customer Service representative who was honestly, incredibly awesome. This CSR had probably started her career at Chick-Fil-A. (did you ever notice that everyone, at every company now says the Chick-Fil-A original line in a perky voice – “It’s my pleasure!”?!?) She was trained right. She had me diffused quicker than my stress-relief fragrance bulbs ever could. (on an aside, my family loves to watch me get all wound up and fiery, talking to customer service reps. I usually start out with, “Look I’m not being a “Karen” here . . . ” And then I hear snickers and whispers from my family, “But you kind of are . . . “) Seriously, this woman was so kind, so understanding, so good at listening and she went above and beyond, in order to rectify the situation. I honestly was stunned. I couldn’t believe that I was actually experiencing good, reasonable customer service. It had been so, so long since I had experienced excellent customer service. So, that’s when I asked to speak to her manager. I, of course, got her manager’s voicemail, but I left a long, enthusiastic, glowing review about my experience with this customer service person. My thought was, if I made the effort to let my unhappiness be known, I should also have the time and the decency to let my satisfaction be conveyed, as well.

Here are some of the more witty, relatable replies to Erica’s on-point tweet:

“Can I help you” has always been a funny opening line to me. -@CharlesScheer

Best ones are when you use a service’s website for guidance, but it makes no sense or is counterproductive. You get in touch with them and they send you the same link on the web chat or by email ? – @BotondHamori

Or transferring you back to the person who transferred your call to him/her. -@JPReisender

And then asking if you are satisfied with their help, and asking if there is anything else that they can help you with today …@nattybumpercar

If you’re lucky enough to get an actual Fking human! I almost always get Siri’s dropout cousin . . . . @BenekeBc

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Clip-On Friday

21,555 Friday Happy Stock Photos, Pictures & Royalty-Free Images - iStock

I’m a big believer in trying to make every day a good day, but come on, on Fridays, “the good part” just doesn’t take much effort, does it? Friday is my favorite day of the week, mostly because I love the feelings of freedom and anticipation. On Fridays, here at the blog, I list my favorites. Typically, I try to list around three favorite products, or books, or TV shows, or whatevers that have helped to make my life interesting and enjoyable. Please share some of your favorites in my Comments section. It’s always fun to discover new favorites.

My favorite reading this morning:

“We cannot wake up and know who we are, as we are always building it. Much remains unreconciled, an indication of being alive.” – Holiday Mathis

Friends, we are all works in progress. That’s the joy and the process of living. Cut yourself a break this weekend and just experience the experience without judgment. Please, don’t take yourself so seriously. Be grateful that you have all of the ingredients: mind, body, and spirit, in order to fully experience the awesomeness of living a life on Earth. That’s honestly all there is to it.

My favorite story of the week:

My friend asked her mother-in-law if she believed in “love at first sight.” “Absolutely!” her mother-in-law replied. “It’s happened to me 14 times!” I imagine that there was a pregnant pause at this moment. I know that my eyebrows were raised listening to my friend tell her story. I thought to myself, “Wow, now that’s what I call a romantic!”

My friend’s mother-in-law continued, “The first time that I laid eyes on my three sons, and my eleven grandchildren and great-grandchildren, I completely experienced love at first sight. No doubts about it.”

Some people are just so awesome to their very cores, aren’t they???

My second favorite story of the week: (This time I was eavesdropping at my physical therapy session. My regular readers know that I do this. Tsk. Tsk. It’s a bad habit of mine, but you must know, we writers tend to eavesdrop. Facts.)

The young male physical therapist was lamenting to his older female patient about how much his young sons fight and argue. The woman mentioned that her own sons are now in their forties, but when they were young and they were fighting and fussing, she would take two chairs, sit them down and make the boys face each other. She would then say, “Compliment each other, until I say stop!”

Now, the woman admitted that this activity never went the way that she had planned. One boy would start with, “I really like how ugly your hair looks today.” And then the other brother would try to creatively top his brother’s “compliment” with something even better, like, “I really like how you keep proving to me that you are even stupider than I thought you were . . . ” The woman told her PT that the boys got a big hoot and holler out of this activity and they would end up in fits of laughter, and they would be buddies all over again in a matter of minutes. The brothers would bond over clever and witty insults disguised as compliments. (As a mother of three sons, I know that this has to be a true story. Boys get a charge out of insulting each other. I’ve never quite understood it, but it does create a bro-bond like nothing else does.)

When I hear stories like these, I always think to myself, “Why didn’t I think of that???” It almost makes me want to go back to mothering young children. (“Almost” being the key word here.)

My favorite product of the week:

My husband and I went to the grocery store together to pick out a pile of junk food to enjoy while watching the Super Bowl last Sunday. Russell Stover chocolates were “buy one/ get one” at our local Publix. How perfect, his and her boxes of chocolate, even before Valentine’s Day!!! After devouring two boxes of Russell Stover Assorted Milk Chocolate Covered Nuts this week, my husband and I both agreed that we have been way too snobby about Russell Stover candy. I wish that I didn’t love this candy as much as I do. I wish that I was still a chocolate snob who hadn’t eaten 26 pieces of Russell Stover chocolate this week. My husband even noted that the candy was not perfectly molded to the point that it almost looked like it was homemade. Go get you some Russell Stover chocolates today, if there is any left. It is sure to be on sale after Valentines Day.

That’s all from me for today. Remember that favorites come in all different packages and many favorites are absolutely free. List your favorites today. This activity will bring a smile to your face. I promise you. This activity is one of my favorite things to do because it brings the joy of my favorites bubbling up to the surface, all over again.

See you tomorrow! Have a great weekend!!!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Changing It Up

Last night, my husband and I watched the latest episode of “1883”. There was a poignant scene (spoiler alert) in which Elsa tells her mother that the pioneers (many of these pioneers were immigrants from other countries) who are bringing all of their old customs, and the ways of the lands which they are trying to escape, are going to end up with the same, sad situations that made them willing to leave all that they had known, for a wild, and full of danger new country. I have looked all over the internet for the exact quote (because Taylor Sheridan’s writing is more eloquent and divine than mine), but I wasn’t able to find it. In short, the conversation was making clear, the old adage, “Wherever you go, there you are.”

I jotted this quote down the other day:

“If you desire to make a difference in the world, you must be different from the world.” @DukeHomer, Twitter

Change is a deliberate process. And change is never easy. Real changes start from deep inside of oneself, and it is these internal changes that start reflecting real change in the externals of our lives. To make real change, you must change the way you think about things. To make real change, you must be capable of honest self reflection. To make changes in your life, you must stop reflecting on what you do not want, what you do not like, what is bad, and you must pivot all of these thoughts to what you do want, what you do like, and what is the good for which you are aiming to achieve. Once you have decided what you are aiming towards, you can then create the steps that you must take, in order to create this real change in your life. To make real lasting change, you must put all of your focus back onto yourself, the only person whom you are ever capable of changing.

We all have done this process of change in our lives. Most of us have moved out of our homes and away from our families of origin, and we have created our own families and homes and daily lives. We have taken the habits, and the customs, and the traditions that we liked about our families of origin, and we deliberately included them in our own lives and homes and families, and yet, on the other hand, we have done some things differently from where and whom we came from, because these things no longer served nor resonated with our adult selves and the families and the lives we desire to have and to experience.

Change is very much a conscious act. Change is sometimes thrust upon us when we experience a major lifestyle change or suffer a loss in our lives, such as a death of a loved one, or a major illness, or a severed relationship, or the empty nest, or a job loss. However, it is how we react to any of these situations that will make the difference between a true, healthy, growing, metamorphic change happening for us in our lives, versus if we struggle and fight against a change, with the fruitless idea of being able to keep things always the same, and under our own individual control.

Real change is purposeful and it is not easy. But deliberate reflection, and then taking the steps for meaningful change, is what gives our lives more purpose and more meaning and more vitality and more satisfaction than just about any other experience that we have in our lives. To create meaningful change in our own lives, reminds us of our own individual power and our freedom to be exactly who we are individually meant to be. To make change, is to be the deliberate creators of this world which we share. We were all given the ability to make changes in our lives, but the desire for change has to be strong enough for us to take the first difficult steps, and then to take the the many more steady, willful, confident, vision-filled steps to achieve the difference we want in our lives, and thus, the difference that we ultimately want our lives to be, in the greater world around us.

36 Best Quotes About Change - Wise Words About Transitions
101 Quotes About Change in Life - Inspirational Change Quotes

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

The Guilty

My husband and I just finished up the fourth season of “The Sinner.” It’s a great show. I highly recommend it. Without giving too much away, a character in this recent season tells the detective, Harry (who is the protagonist in all seasons of “The Sinner”) that his guilty feelings are coming from his ego. This perked my ears. When we feel guilt, we often like to believe that this guilt comes from the most holy part of our conscious, but this is not necessarily always the case. Appropriate guilt energizes us to make amends and to do better, but many of us walk around with quite a bit of unsubstantiated guilt, which isn’t doing anything for anyone. This kind of guilt veers dangerously into the territory of shame.

We love to say that “so and so” made me feel guilty. Yet, we all have heard and intellectualized the statement that no one can make us feel anything. Our feelings are ours to own. Our reactions to other’s actions, are all our reactions to deal with, and to explore. People can be manipulative and conniving and they can try to play on our emotions, but it is up to us to explore our emotions and reactions, in order to understand where these emotions and reactions are coming from. These emotions are all ours. It is up to us to decide whether pleasing or disappointing someone else is really our responsibility and further, are their reactions to our choices really our responsibility, either? Appropriate guilt is when you have done something morally wrong and against your code of character. Inappropriate guilt truly does come from an oversized ego that believes that it is responsible for all the happiness in the world. Inappropriate guilt keeps us feeling responsible for living for other people, making us believe that we must be who they want us to be, and do what they expect us to do, in order for them to be happy. Our ego says that we have the power to make other people happy, but the hard truth is, none of us are that powerful. Happiness is an inside job for each individual. People getting what they want may bring a temporary relief to them, and a temporary relief to our sense of “guilt and responsibility”, but in the end we all are in control of our own feelings which come from our thoughts and our perspectives on what is happening in our own lives.

Sometimes we think that feeling guilty makes us better people, but guilt is really a useless emotion if it doesn’t inspire us to make healthy changes in our lives. Wallowing around in guilt, doesn’t help us, nor anyone else. We think that carrying around guilt is a form of punishment for what we have done, but this carrying around guilt is not doing anything for anyone. This act is useless. And with this realization, it becomes interesting to explore the tie of ego to guilt. We must really think that we are big, important stuff if “we are guilty” for all of the pains in the world, or even for all of the pains in our small corner of the world. Ego loves to make us feel more important and significant than we really are, in the overall scheme of things.

Those of us who feel a lot of “guilt”, like to believe that we are good caring people who worry about everyone’s feelings. We like to believe that we are “good” people who feel connected to all of those around us. I remember the first “aha” moments, when my “saintly side” was figuring out that she was more tied to her outsized ego, than she would like to believe herself to be. I started to come to realize that I was personalizing others’ rude behavior towards me. I believed that others’ nastiness was all saved up for me, until I started noticing that most other people were also at the receiving end of these same damaged people’s mean and nasty and passive aggressive, underhanded behavior. In other words, their behavior wasn’t all about me. I wasn’t the center of the universe. Mean people’s meanness is about them. I’m not a special target.

So, in this same light of understanding, this kind of “aha moment” came back to me watching “The Sinner” the other night. Feeling guilty and responsible for other people’s happiness and their feelings, is much about my own ego. It makes me feel powerful to think that I am in control of how other people feel. Ewwww. Once again, reminder to self: I am not the all-powerful, center of the universe.

To distinguish between appropriate guilt and inappropriate guilt, ask yourself these questions: What have I done wrong? Is someone feeling disappointed truly my responsibility? What would I expect of others if the roles were reversed? Am I responsible or even capable to make anyone feel anything?

If you come to the conclusion that you have actually done something harmful and wrong, apologize, make amends where you can, accept the consequences to your actions, and let it go. Carrying around a big bag of guilt is not going to do anything helpful and positive for anyone. And if you realize that you are feeling inappropriate guilt, remind yourself to tame your ego. You are not the grand wizard of fixing everyone’s feelings. Simply put, you are not that powerful. Put the focus back where it should be, on the only person’s feelings and perspectives you have any control over: your own.

15 Guilt Quotes ideas | quotes, inspirational quotes, me quotes
21 Guilt Quotes, Inspirational Words of Wisdom

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Relax, Relax, Relax

I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious. - Albert Einstein

Isn’t this a wonderful time in the world to be a curious person? Thank you, Google. National Geographic used to be a stack of weirdly thick, yellow framed magazines on my grandfather’s coffee table. Today, National Geographic is not only a magazine, but also a website and a streaming channel. Never has information been so vividly and easily accessible to us, in our lives. We all can be Einsteins if we want to be. It turns out that Einstein and Curious George had a lot in common.

Einstein also said this:

“I think 99 times and find nothing. I stop thinking, swim in silence, and the truth comes to me.”

I love this phenomenon, don’t you? It is thought that some of our greatest insights and answers come to us in our dreams, when we are at our most relaxed and not desperately turning the wheels in our minds. That’s why it is always suggested to have a tablet right by our bedsides, to jot down the wisdoms from our dreams when we wake up.

When we were in San Francisco a few years ago, my husband purchased me a jade bangle from the Chinatown district. Chinese people have prized jade for over 7000 years. They consider jade to be a living force which protects the wearer and they even believe that jade has some healing properties. It is a wonderful souvenir from that particular trip. The jade bangles do not have clasps, and you want the bangle to just be slightly bigger than your wrist, or otherwise it is annoying to have the bracelet slide up and down on your arm too much, and bang on everything in sight. Therefore, due to their tight fit, the jade bangles will not slide on to your wrist when you are too rigid and uptight, and trying to force them over your hand. “Relax, relax, relax” is all that the shopkeeper kept repeating to me as I was desperately trying to try on my bangle, like one of Cinderella’s sisters trying to stuff her foot into the glass slipper. So, finally, taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes, I let my thoughts float away, and then, I slowly opened my eyes, only to see and to feel the jade bangle sitting nicely on my wrist. (and then I started panicking about getting it off of my wrist, but that is another story for a different blogpost.)

Maybe today is a good day to “relax, relax, relax.” Maybe today is a good day not to force anything, but instead let the answers, and the inspirations, and the guidance float over to us, only to set nicely into our hearts. It took me a long time to figure out that I will never be able to outrun any of my dogs, but if I just stay calm, and I stand in place, with a gentle, knowing confidence, my dogs always run right back to me. Perhaps that is the same with “the truth.” If the truth came to Einstein in this fashion, it will work for us in the same way. Maybe the truth never left any of us. Perhaps, we just haven’t been relaxed enough, to let the truth bubble up slowly to the surface.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.