inspiration Archives - Page 63 of 88 - Adulting: Second- Half

Monday – Funday

Yesterday, my daughter had a graduation/going away party (she’s starting college at summer session in a couple of weeks) here with her friends. She insisted on a 1970s theme. The kids went all out. Their outfits were amazing. So was my husband’s. He got all decked out as John McEnroe. Unfortunately though, most of the kids didn’t get his costume. Most of the kids didn’t know who John McEnroe was – not even the tennis team kids. John McEnroe is 63 years old. Sigh.

One of my daughter’s friends bought her a compass bracelet. It was wrapped around a card that said this:

The Adventure Begins

Behind you, all of your memories.

Before you, all of your dreams.

Around you, all who love you.

Within you, all you need.

Friends, we are starting new adventures all of the time, whether we are 18 or we are 63. Stay in tuned with your compass. It will never steer you wrong.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Soul Sunday

Good morning. Please use today to soothe your soul, to reset your batteries, to clean the windows to your perspectives, and to fill your heart with gratitude. That’s what Sundays are really good for – the “re-words” such as rejuvenation, reinvigoration, renewal, revitalization, refreshment, and restoration. All of these words suggest “making new”. Use Sunday to make new of what is old and tired and clouded and fading in you. ReSunday yourself. It will be a lovely way to start the week.

Sundays are devoted to poetry on the blog. Poetry is mysterious, intimate, clever and open. Write some poetry today to help ReSunday yourself. You won’t regret it. Here is my poem for today:

“I Am A Witness“

I am old enough to have been a witness to a lot of things.

Perhaps this is the truest gift which our aging brings.

I am a witness to so much triumph over hurt and loss.

I am a witness to the intricate, such as a large rock covered in moss.

I am a witness to breathtaking natural beauty, day after day.

When I allow myself the time to watch the miraculous display.

I am witness to all of my own sensations,

I am witness to my feelings and frustrations.

I am the witness who feverishly writes it all down,

As my hair is graying, from its once rich brown.

It’s the witnesses who bring clarity to what has gone on,

Facts and perspectives, mixed and weighed upon.

So much time we play at being judge, jury and litigators,

When in truth, we are mostly natural witnesses and mitigators.

I am a watcher. I am a witness. I hear. I feel. I see.

Please share what you witness with yourself, and with me.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

The Kava Effect

Yesterday, I drove my youngest son to an urban area about 45 minutes away from our home, for his summer internship. He had to be there before 7 a.m. Since, this isn’t something that I do often at all, it was an interesting, eye-opening adventure. Before 11 a.m., I had hung out at a coffee shop, I had breakfast and then later a snack, and I had shopped in four different stores, in three different locations, including doing a bagful of returns. I literally texted my friends that I wish that I could become a morning person for this very reason. The efficiency was unreal because there were no lines in the stores, and no crowded streets, nor were there overrun parking lots. But alas, the downside of this was that I was exhausted by 6 p.m. on my beloved Friday. And truthfully, sleeping in this morning was 110 times more delicious than yesterday’s efficiency rating. Bummer.

Speaking of coffee, yesterday, the only coffee shop which was open that early, near to where I dropped my son off, was also a Kava bar. I initially strolled up to the bar and asked for my usual: black coffee and some water. I sat down at the bar next to several people, all at least half of my age. They all seemed to know each other, being locals from the neighborhood. Let’s just say that me, a 51 year old, who is not at all used to way early mornings, bleary eyed, who could easily be mistaken for a touchy “Karen” woman (on a bad day), in my coastal grandma style clothes, did not necessarily blend in with my youthful, energized, tattooed, pierced, urban chic, clearly from the local neighborhood cohorts at the counter. Not long into guzzling my first cup of coffee, someone rang a bell, and all of the people in the shop, picked up these little silver shells, sucked down the drink inside of these shells, and yelled, “Bula!” (which is a Fijian word offering good tidings) And that’s when my FOMO set in deeply. “I want one of those. I want to do that,” I said to the nice girl behind the counter named Scarlett, who had earlier told me that she was also a nursing student besides working in the coffee bar, and to whom I had already given a motherly lecture about not spreading herself too thin and keeping her stress levels to a minimum because nursing school is hard!!

And that’s when I noticed it happening, a phenomenon that is starting to happen to me more and more these days. I’ve become that cute, novelty, older, suburban lady who amuses her youngers by trying out “their stuff, on their turf”. “Okay,” sweet Scarlett said, with a kind, patient, nurse-type demeanor already. “We’re going to start you out with a low-tide (half a cup). Your tongue might get a little numb and you will probably feel a little relaxed. The Kava is going to taste a little bitter.”

“Omg!” I turned to the artistic looking young man on the side of me, who was wearing large gauges in his ears and donning fluorescent orange eye glasses. “Am I still going to be able to drive?” The locals all got some chuckles about that question. “You’ll be fine. It’s not a glass of wine,” he stated, drinking down his second full-tide of Kava. “But ma’am, please make sure that you drink a lot of water today, okay?” he said with a hint of protectiveness that warmed my heart.

The only effect that my little half-shell of Kava had on me was a diuretic one. Thankfully, none of the bathrooms in any of the stores which I perused after leaving the coffee shop were crowded either. But honestly, that’s a lie about the Kava experience, and it having little effect on me. I used to feel a little indignant, when I first realized that I wasn’t exactly blending in, with the younger crowds anymore. For decades of my adult life, I honestly felt like I had just graduated from college. When my own kids started towering over me, I started to get the clues that I had graduated from my own youthfulness. The indignance that I felt at first, is starting to morph into more of an acceptance, and at times when I feel a younger person’s respect for me, and amusement of me, and a protectiveness surrounding me, I even feel grateful. I realize that I have reached an age, when my younger counterparts have a lot to show me and to teach me, too, if I am willing to come at things with open mindedness. I am invested in hopefulness for the future of our young people. I am a mother of four of them. I believe that if we try to understand each other, instead of trying to dominate each other, there is an ability for all of us to grow together, and to create an amazing society, the likes which we have never seen before.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Balls, Pools, and the OFF button

We have this little spot in our neighborhood that is remote, and off of the beaten path. We can let our three dogs off lead and throw them tennis balls ad nauseum, to work off their seemingly endless energy. It’s a little buggy there, but that’s okay. It’s what keeps the patch of land from becoming overrun with people. When we are done playing fetch, our Labrador retriever, Ralphie, and our Boykin spaniel, Trip, tend to carry their tennis balls, in their mouths, all of the way home. The balls are gross and slimy, but the tennis balls almost act as pacifiers to our worn-out, sporty dogs.

Ralphie, our Labrador, also loves our pool and swimming in our pool, even more than he loves his tennis balls. We always joke that we have our pool for Ralphie. Islands of his fur tend to float around like the Great Pacific Garbage Patch, when our pool pump isn’t on. I often make the off-the-cuff remark that I wish I loved anything as much as Ralphie loves to swim.

But that’s not a nice remark, nor is it true. There are so many people and places and things in my life that I love every bit as ferociously and exuberantly as Ralphie loves to swim. It’s just that Ralphie doesn’t let any fear in, when he loves. Ralphie doesn’t swim around in the pool saying, “Damn, I love this pool so much, I hope that we never move, nor that I get too arthritic to swim, nor that a hurricane destroys my little chlorine haven.” Ralphie doesn’t allow distraction in, when he is doing what he loves. He doesn’t swim around the pool thinking about the state of the world and all of the horrors of the headlines. When Ralphie does what he loves, that’s just what he does. He embodies love. He soaks in love. He embraces love right in the moment. Sometimes when I watch other creatures in nature, I wonder if our human being’s thinking and reasoning abilities are truly a blessing or a curse? I need to use my own thinking and reasoning abilities to develop an “OFF button” for my brain, so that when I am with the people whom I love more than Ralphie loves to swim, and I am in the places which I love more than Ralphie loves to swim, and I am doing the things that I love to do, even more than Ralphie loves to swim, I can switch the Brain Button to OFF and I can just embody love. I can soak in the love. I can embrace love right in the moment. When I find that OFF button and keep it duct taped to OFF for some moments, I can get a little taste of peaceful, loving, eternity right in my own little patch of Earth. Isn’t that what we are always saying that we want anyway?

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Rootin’

Years ago, I had a friend whose “tagline” so to speak, was “I’m rootin’ for you!” He said it all of the time, and he said it to everyone. He himself had overcome huge obstacles in his own life, and he was delighted to help others overcome their own troubles and concerns. When I saw this fun picture on Twitter this morning, I immediately thought of this kind, wise man.

What a beautiful thing to be a cheerleader for people, and a cheerleader for their hopes and for their dreams. What a wonderful visual of the darling daisy happily blooming, with her strong happy roots beneath her. When we are rooting for someone, I always envision yelling and cheering and hoping and praying for their victories in life, but before seeing this picture, I never thought of rooting, in terms of physical “roots”. Physical roots gather sustenance for plants, in order for them to be nourished and to thrive, and physical roots anchor plants, to keep them firmly planted in the ground, in order to help the plants stay grounded, in times of vicious winds and storms. This is the first time which I realize that “rooting for someone” is so much more than shaking some pom-poms. Rooting for people is helping to create the ever spreading, energic foundation, for their own success and happiness in their lives. It helps ensure that they will always bloom again, even in times when they have been taken down to their very bottom levels. How blessed we are to have the ability to root for people. How blessed we are to have people out there, rooting for us. Readers, know this always: “I’m rootin’ for you!” The more we root for people, the more beautiful our collective garden grows. How blessed we are . . . .

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Warm >

I didn’t feel like watching TV last night, so the quotes below are what I ended up taking screenshots of, while I was scrolling through Twitter, while cuddling on the couch with my husband and our Boykin spaniel, Trip. We had just gotten back from our nightly walk, and it was humid as could be (summer in Florida, need I say more?), and I felt so hot and grimy and sticky. Trip was also panting heavily from walking in the heat, but that overheated feeling never stops Trip from cuddling. With Trip, snuggling beats staying cool, Every. Single. Time. Therefore, I happily welcomed hot dog fur on my leg, and equally hot air being panted on to my skin, as we both felt utterly refreshed by our restoring mutual love and appreciation. Trip is absolutely right, Snuggling > Cool and Aloof, every day, all of the time.

The first story which I clicked on, from my Twitter feed, was a tweet from one of my all time favorites, The Sheldrick Wildlife Trust, which is a sanctuary located in Kenya, Africa. The Sheldrick Wildlife Trust rehabilitates orphaned elephant babies and other orphaned species, until they are ready to be on their own in the wild. The stories that The Sheldrick Wildlife Trust typically sends links to on Twitter, are usually stories about how the various orphans were rescued, and came to be at the sanctuary. Last night’s story was about baby Vaarti (which means “luck” in the local dialect). Most of the babies at the sanctuary are found out in the wild, by searchers who fly over the land, or by reports from locals who see babies, desperately trying to survive out in the wild, who have sadly lost their mothers, usually to poachers or due to drought and other natural disasters. Typically, these babies are brought to the sanctuary by rescue missions utilizing trucks, and planes and helicopters. However, Vaarti was actually delivered right up to the stockades by a young, wild female elephant, who was too young herself to be Vaarti’s mother, but who recognized that he needed help. This precious, young elephant had the innate sense to deliver Vaarti right up to the gates of the sanctuary. Once that she saw that Vaarti was in the hands of safekeeping at the Sheldrick Wildlife Trust, she disappeared back into the bush, and was never seen again. Angels on Earth, come in so many different beautiful forms, don’t they? Big Hearts > Cold hearts, every day, all of the time.

This next little tweet is super sweet, and also quite heartwarming:

“This kid probably 8/10 years old asked politely if he could pet my dog, I said yes. After he pet her, he hopped on his bike, popped a wheelie and said, “that was for you, thanks for letting me pet your dog.” Highlight of my day, to be honest.” (maryxwetzel, Twitter)

This tweet has a 154,000 likes from a Twitter account that has about 5,000 followers. It seems to me that we are all pretty hungry, for the good, little heartwarming stories wherever we can find them, these days. Heartwarming little stuff, such as stories about pop wheelies > Cold hard facts, every day, all of the time.

And this last tweet, just cracked me up. As a middle-aged woman about to release her youngest little baby out into the wilds of college in a few weeks, my mood meter has, admittedly, been all over the map:

“I had a mood ring once. It died of confusion.” – (Anais Ninja, Twitter)

If I personally were wearing a mood ring lately, it most likely would explode and make a mess all over my hand. Giggles are great for mood regulation. Self deprecating, warm-hearted humor, and downhome funny > Cold and aloof and serious, every day, all of the time.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Monday – Funday

Writing and Empowering on Twitter asked her followers this question: “Have you ever complimented a complete stranger?”

I thought that this was a ridiculous question. I do it all of the time. A lot of people answered the question the same way that I do, although men seem more reticent to give compliments to others, in fear of being considered “creepy.” And many women stated that they are hesitant to compliment men, because many men usually take compliments as direct flirting. I have experienced that unfortunate phenomenon. Still, I always err on the side complimenting. I have never understood why people are so stingy with compliments. Compliments are free, they are kind, and they show people that they are being noticed and appreciated. I never give false compliments. I only compliment things that I truly do like. Compliments never deplete you of anything by giving them away. Honestly, by looking for things to compliment about people, it forces me to look at all of the good surrounding me wherever I go. And the surprised, pleased responses to my compliments given away, always fill me with joy. What an easy, wonderful way to uplift someone else and yourself all at the same time!! Compliment a stranger today. It will improve your Monday tenfold.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Danger Zone

On Thursday, my two youngest children (ages 18 and 21) and I went to see the new Top Gun movie. It was great. It wasn’t deep or meaningful or even gut wrenching. (The first Top Gun was a little gut wrenching. Goose’s death was honestly a little devastating in that movie.) Top Gun: Maverick was just fun and thrilling and action-packed and entertaining and perhaps even a little self-deprecating.

It’s fun to watch my young adult children’s appreciation of the things that marked my own coming of age in the 1980s. They loved the Top Gun movie and they even loved the original, which they watched before we went to go see the new one. I’ve even heard a few of my own teenage boom box favorite songs, playing on their playlists, and they think that Winona Ryder is just terrific. (albeit as the mom in Stranger Things)

My generation, Gen X, throughout the years has often been portrayed as angsty and aimless and forgotten, but when I am reminded of what Gen X has brought into being, from a cultural sense, I see the fun, and the lightness, and the goofiness, and the “go with the flow” which has marked our generation. I see a timeless, unapologetic, “chilled out” individualism that is so attractive in these times of constant judgment and aggravation amongst different groups of people. These days we are so busy shifting blame, assigning shame, and putting labels on everybody and everything, that we forget that life is mostly supposed to be an amazing adventure to be experienced without definitions. Sometimes, it’s important to just sit back, and take a fun, meaningless ride on the “Highway to the Danger Zone.”

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Safe Friday

Happy Friday!! Happy Best Day of the Week!! On Fridays, I stay on the fluffy side of life and I discuss any favorite item or book or song or TV show that has made my life more interesting, easy, fun, etc. Please check out previous Friday posts for more favorites and please let us know some of your own favorites.

Today’s favorite is perfect for those of us who do not want to own our own shredders. (I already own plenty of dust collectors already.) I have become more nervous about throwing away paper items with personal information on them, than ever before. I read in a magazine about Guard Your ID ink blotters, which is a simple tool that basically blackens out any information which you do not want shared with any identity thief who might come across your private papers. It works tremendously. It dries quickly, and it affords you peace of mind, so that you don’t have to allow piles of papers to build up, to warrant a trip to the shredder. It is small, easy to keep in a drawer, and I purchased the “Plus” version which is extra wide. It can be purchased from Amazon for around $10.00. Worth every penny. Can you put a price on your peace of mind?

Have an enjoyable weekend, friends! I’ll see you tomorrow!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

What Is

The Queen’s Platinum Jubilee is happening in the United Kingdom right now. At age 96, Queen Elizabeth is the first British Monarch to have achieved 70 years of service, given to her country. There are all sorts of celebrations and activities happening in the United Kingdom to mark this occasion, all over their country, throughout this weekend.

I happened upon a recent monolog by Bill Maher making fun of some of the rules and customs surrounding the British monarchy. Apparently there is one Earl whose only job is to carve the queen’s meat, and when having a meal with the queen, the minute the queen stops eating, everyone else is required to put down their utensils and stop eating, as well. To many, this seems ridiculous, particularly since monarchies are created by birthrights, and are not actually merit based. Still, even in recent years, when there has been quite a lot of scandal surrounding the British monarchy, a large majority of people in the United Kingdom support keeping the monarchy in place, and they take pride in its long, stable tradition. Many British citizens believe that their royalty brings a lot of interest and tourism to their country, and that it unites the people in their shared heritage. In all fairness, I can’t go grocery shopping here in Florida, without seeing pictures of some members of the British monarchy on our magazines, at any time that I am there. It’s safe to say that the fascination with British royals is a worldly thing.

I think that a vast majority of all of us people, like our traditions and our pomp and circumstance. We like the feeling of unity and pride and meaning, with the recognition of our shared rituals. Any decent comedian could rip apart any of our celebratory ceremonies for their apparent silliness, and unnecessary steps, and regulations, and uniforms, and accoutrements. Having just gone through my daughter’s high school graduation ceremony with the mortarboards and the robes, I am sure that if I were an alien visiting from outer space, I might quizzically consider this societal custom, with perhaps even a giggle. And of course, when observing other country’s and other cultures’ traditions and ceremonies, these events often seem so foreign and unfathomable to any of us who are used to thinking that our own traditions and celebrations are what is “correct.” If we are honest and aware, a lot of our current ceremonies and traditions and rituals, whether they be religious, or of the military, or educational, or governmental, could easily be poked fun at by any person with sound thinking abilities. In fact, many of our traditions have been changed throughout history (even in our own lifetimes), due to the realization of the impracticalities and absurdities and even dangers of any particular custom or tradition.

My thoughts on customs and traditions and rituals, is this: Be conscious of what you are doing. If this tradition brings you pride, happiness, positivity, connection, enjoyment, contentment, and it doesn’t hurt or harm anyone else, then it is a good custom for you, and for your loved ones to enjoy together. Who cares if it seems silly or extravagant or outdated or pointless to others? If it is beautiful and meaningful to you, and to others, then it is a lovely creation, worth holding on to and sharing, in your life’s experience. If this custom, tradition, or ritual is harmful and used for control and manipulation and entitlement, that brings harm to others, then be honest with yourself, is this tradition one that you want to continue celebrating in your life? Is this tradition meaningful to you, or is this something that you have been unconsciously doing, by just going through the motions due to the expectations of others, or out of an irrational fear that has been imposed upon you?

When anything is considered in life, it always comes down to the same thing, doesn’t it? Awareness. Notice what is, and contemplate what is, and decide if you want to be part of what is, or if you want to change what is for the better. And at the same time, allow this same courtesy to others, even if their traditions are different than yours.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.