inspiration Archives - Page 54 of 79 - Adulting: Second- Half

Strikes Me

This was artwork posted on Twitter this morning. It struck me. I had to pause on it. I love it. Do you know what I do when I find artwork like this, when I am scrolling on Twitter? I print it out. I paste these pictures that wow me, into my journals, on my calendar, in various notebooks, so that in times that I just need the pick-me-up of visual candy that is just my taste, I have it right in front of me, to peruse and to enjoy. Artists are so generous to freely share their beautiful works. Sometimes I look for ways to buy or to support their work, whenever I can, because they make my world a more special place. Creative people make us look at the ordinary, in extraordinary ways. And oftentimes they do it for free. They do it because they love to do it and they are compelled to do it because they are deeply connected to their truest selves. And that’s why we feel so moved by their creations. It comes from an otherworldly, eternal place which we sometimes forget about its existence. Artists are the reminders of the beauty surrounding us, and the beauty within us.

And Think Smarter posted this great reminder on Twitter:

We are taking our youngest child of four to college on Friday, as she opted to start in the summer for a lot of good reasons. My emotions this week are Hurricane Mama. But I keep reminding myself that is because I have experienced so much love, and so much pride, and a load of growth, and constant wonder raising this family whom I love more than life itself.

What Think Smarter didn’t say, in this particular post, is that “The price of safety and comfort, is banality, and dullness, and having to live with the “what ifs” and the “I wonders.” Always live fully. Always live life to the fullest. It’s worth the risks and the losses. It is.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Little Red Vest

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

When Trip, our Boykin spaniel, was a puppy he would often swim in the pool, along with our Labrador retriever, Ralphie. He never loved the pool as much as Ralphie does, but he swam in it fairly often. Trip swims well. He is a sporting dog, bred to retrieve fallen birds in bodies of water. But then, for some strange reason, Trip just stopped swimming in the pool. He preferred to hang out with the boss lady, our herder, the rough collie, Josie, who runs around the pool, barking out orders at everyone, like a frantic, control freak lifeguard who can’t stop blowing the whistle. Trip seemed to have developed a little bit of fear of the pool, seemingly, out of nowhere.

Now, when we take Trip out on boating excursions (Boykins are bred to be boating dogs), we put a little red life vest on him. Trip loves swimming in the saltwater, and the minute one of us jumps out of the boat, he jumps out, too, often landing right on top of whoever is swimming in the water outside of the boat. He never thinks twice about swimming all around in the ocean, which in theory, is a lot more dangerous than swimming around in a little pool, especially with our vigilant lifeguard Josie guarding it, as if she were a presidential secret service agent. Honestly, on boating days, it is often difficult to coax Trip out of the water and back into the boat.

So this weekend, when we were having a fun pool day at home, my son decided that he was going to get Trip comfortable swimming in the pool again. To do so, he put Trip in his little red life vest. Surprisingly, that’s all it really took. It was like the red life vest flipped a switch, and we couldn’t keep Trip out of the pool. It didn’t take any coaxing at all. The little red life vest gave Trip all of the confidence that he needed to become a pool hound all over again.

That got me to thinking about how we all have our own “little red life vests” that get us over our fears of doing things. We put so much confidence into our own “little red life vests”, even if they are just symbolic, like lucky charms. I looked up why we put so much reliance on our lucky charms and I questioned if they really “work.” Supposedly they do:

“Relying on lucky charms is superstitious, but in fact, it actually works. Researchers have found that people who believe they have luck on their side feel greater “self-efficacy”—the belief that we’re capable of doing what we set out to do—and this belief actually boosts mental and physical performance.” – Psychology Today

“The study says that people who tend to have better luck after carrying certain items have so because of the belief that they are protected from bad luck. This belief acts as a blocker from failure as people go out and give their best shot without worrying about what they might lose.” – Times of India

Now, I have often heard less superstitious persons than myself, proudly and smugly proclaim, “I make my own luck!” And that is true. Obviously, the studies show that people who believe in lucky charms, get into a mindset that says that they cannot fail, and thus, it is that mindset which helps them to succeed (not the inanimate object). Having lucky charms, is a Jedi mind trick that we play with ourselves. But, so what? Obviously, in many cases (such as with Trip), it works. And it’s fun.

What’s your “little red life vest”? What’s a big fear that you have? Can you find “a little red vest” that will help you to overcome your fear? Just remember to never forget that deep down you have made your own luck. Remember that your little red vest is just a little crutch that you made for yourself, and the power was never really transferred to that placebo pill, or to that dream catcher, or to “my precious” (Lord of the Rings reference). The power to overcome your fears and challenges and move on to your victories was always inside of you, your mind just needed a physical trinket and symbol of that fact, to remind itself of its own great and powerful abilities.

“Luck is believing you’re lucky.” – Tennessee Williams

“You can live a charmed life by causing others to live a charmed life. That is, be the source of ‘charm’ — of charming moments and experiences — in the life of another. Be everyone else’s Lucky Charm! Make all who you touch today feel ‘lucky’ that you crossed their path. Do this for a week and watch things change. Do it for a month and you’ll be a different person.”- Neale Donald Walsch

Monday-Funday

Happy Juneteenth!!

What is the history behind Juneteenth?

“Freedom finally came on June 19, 1865, when some 2,000 Union troops arrived in Galveston Bay, Texas. The army announced that the more than 250,000 enslaved black people in the state, were free by executive decree. This day came to be known as “Juneteenth,” by the newly freed people in Texas.” – credit, Smithsonian

My husband and my son both have off from work today because Juneteenth finally became a federal holiday just last year. Sometimes it takes a long, long time to do the right thing. But it’s never too late. Shame can only start to be healed by first accepting, admitting, and taking responsibility for wrongs committed.

I like this line from the Smithsonian’s historical explanation of Juneteenth:

“The historical legacy of Juneteenth shows the value of never giving up hope in uncertain times.” – Smithsonian

Sometimes the only thing that gives us the will to go on with strength and resilience is the beautiful, uplifting, beacon-like feeling of hope.

“There’s no other race, to me, that has such a tough history for hundreds and hundreds of years, and only the strong survive, so we were the strongest and the most mentally tough, and I’m really proud to wear this color every single day of my life.”—Serena Williams

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Soul Sunday

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Happy Father’s Day!! It was so interesting raising our four children, together with my husband. There are many times when I watched my husband in awe. I would think, (perhaps with a little bit of competitive chagrin) “Oh, wow, he handled that so much better than I did.” There is no doubt in any of our minds that my husband is entirely devoted to our family. We are his purpose and his passion and for that, I am forever grateful.

Sundays are devoted to poetry on the blog. Poetry speaks in the movement of spirit. In many ways, poetry is otherworldly. It offers portals into other unseen places. My son is taking a Stress Management course this summer (a course required by his university’s business management program. This is good progress.) Yesterday, my son had to color a mandala, as an assignment for the class. Now coloring and art has never been his forte, and so when he showed his finished assignment, he was poking fun at some of his color choices and coloring outside of the lines. I reminded him that coloring the mandala was never about the end result, but more so about the mindfulness of doing the project, and the relaxation that this would bring. This is the same with writing poetry. It requires concentration and diving deep. The end result really isn’t all that important. Poems that speak to me, might not speak to you. But the poets, when writing the poems, spoke to themselves, from the depths of their own souls and from the wilds of their own imaginations, and time stood still for them. Listen to your wild soul today. Write down the poem and hear what it has to say to you. Here is my poem for the day:

You are the best gift which I ever gave to our children

Your steadfastness, your devotion, your selflessness,

Allowed me to build a soft nest on a solid, steady, rock,

That remained unbroken and safe, even in the worst of storms.

Your strong arms held us steadfast through it all,

And I never questioned that they wouldn’t.

I have loved your strong arms, since they first held me.

And I can think of no better arms to hold tight our family.

Friday Props

Happy Friday, friends!!! Happy Best Day of the week!! My daughter starts college in a week, as she opted to start her university experience, during a summer session. (I keep telling her, and myself, that she’s really just going away to summer camp. 😉 ) I drive a teeny convertible and we went shopping for dorm stuff yesterday. If I showed you all of the stuff that we were able to cram into said convertible (with the top up, mind up – it’s been crazy hot here the last few days), you would believe that clown cars are real, and not a trick. Seriously. I now believe in clown cars.

On Fridays, here at the blog, I don’t delve deep. I don’t want to think deeply on Fridays. Do you? On Fridays, I stick to the superfluous stuff in life. I list a favorite thing, or place, or book, or website, or movie, or beauty product. Please check out previous Friday posts for more favorites and please share your favorites with us in the Comments section. Sharing is caring.

Today’s favorite of mine is for the beach. I am one who likes to lie on my towel versus always being propped up in a beach chair. I like to feel the firmness and the heat of the sand underneath my towel, contouring to my body. That being said, I’ve often thought it would be nice to sit supported, while still being able to feel the firmness of the sand underneath the towel. So I was delighted the other day to find a beach pad that folds up for easy carrying ability, but has a rod so that you can sit up, or lie flat on the sand. This product at Kohl’s is similar to what I purchased:

https://www.kohls.com/product/prd-640029/picnic-time-beachcomber-beach-mat.jsp?skuid=90987225&CID=shopping15&utm_campaign=SUMMER%20FURNITURE&utm_medium=CSE&utm_source=google&utm_product=90987225&utm_campaignid=9733267174&gclid=Cj0KCQjwzLCVBhD3ARIsAPKYTcRGzc5MqUwwEixfiudqckKSaY8jepvspVfV3qBScW7YpiDyADfePAIaAtisEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

That’s what I love about new inventions. They don’t have to be high tech and they always make you think, “Duh, now why didn’t I think of that?”

Hope you are enjoying a great summer, friends!! Stay hydrated!!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Good Story

The other day, I was riding my bike around our neighborhood and I noticed several signs in many yards (similar to the one that we have in our yard) proudly announcing graduates. I naively thought that they were all high school graduates, and I was really surprised that we had that many teenagers living in our neighborhood, whom I didn’t know, but then with closer inspection, I noticed that a lot of the signs were from our local elementary school. So, in reality, there are quite a lot of fifth graders who live in our neighborhood. This makes more sense.

These yard signs for graduates are a relatively new phenomenon in our parts. We didn’t get them from the high school, when our three sons graduated from there. I think that the proliferation of yard signs mostly came about during the pandemic (so that kids could be celebrated, even from afar), and I think that they are wonderful! No doubts, the pandemic has been horrible, terrible, no-good, miserable, sad and unbelievable. Still, there are a few things that have come from the pandemic that I am grateful to have come into my life. I love the celebratory yard signs (I have seen a lot more of them for birthdays, and babies – more than I ever did before the pandemic). I love that my husband works a hybrid model now, spending a couple of days during the week, working from home. My husband is happier, and I like having someone else in the house during the week, sometimes, too. If I am running a lot of errands, I have peace of mind that my husband is home with the dogs, or that he can let in a person, who might be fixing something in our home. It’s definitely been a win-win, and a situation that we never dreamed could have happened before the pandemic. I have a gratefulness now for all of the everyday things that I used to mindlessly take for granted: toilet paper, cleaning supplies, meat. There is something to be said about noticing and appreciating the things that we used to just unconsciously count on being there for the taking. I sigh with relief and happiness that my local grocery store’s paper products and freezer sections are mostly full these days. And truthfully, I’m a little more hygienic than I ever was before. I am more careful in crowds. I use hand sanitizer like I never did before, and I think that these new habits have helped me to stave off a lot of germs, besides just the coronavirus. Even in the bad times, there are always kernels of good that come from these times. It has been proven to me, again and again, in my life’s experiences. No matter what concrete jungle you find yourself in, there is no doubt that you will find some little green, hopeful, resilient plant poking its plucky little leaves out from the teeniest of cracks in the dirty, grey concrete. There is good that defiantly grows out of bad, every time and everywhere.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Beliefs and Values

“For you to understand me, the first thing you should know about me, is that I am not you.” – Mindset For Life, Twitter

This quote is so key. The other day I read something interesting. It said that we all know and understand that we have a tendency to project our own negative qualities on to others, as a way to disown these qualities in ourselves. (That’s where the phrase, “Point one finger at me, and three fingers are pointing back at you” comes from.) When we are feeling particularly critical about something in someone else, there is usually some similar trait in ourselves that we strongly dislike, and we can get that insight about ourselves, if we are humble enough to play detective on our own selves, instead of focusing always on the faults of others. Even more interesting to me was that my reading also said that we also have the tendency to project traits that we do like about ourselves, on to others. We think that parents, or partners, or friends, or teachers, or bosses, should have certain likable, familiar traits, and so we often project these positive traits on to people, whether they actually possess these traits or not. Both projections make us feel safe and in control, but neither are rooted in reality. These projections do not make for authentic, healthy relationships.

The above quote also got me thinking about an interesting conversation that I had with a friend the other day. She works for her church, and she mentioned that her church’s denomination is having a lot of controversy within its membership about certain key issues. She mentioned that she, herself, was struggling with where she stood on some of these issues. We both talked about how difficult it is to get a consensus on anything, in any group. Even in my marriage, my husband and I don’t agree on every single thing. Trying to find just the right place to eat, or where to go on vacation was often tricky among our family of six, until my husband and I finally, out of frustration, used our executive privilege. (Raising four kids got me really familiar with the term, “herding cats.”)

That’s the hard thing about joining various groups, and thus being labelled as a member of that group. Do you honestly believe in every single platform of your own political party, or your own religious affiliation, or your own workplace’s stance on everything?? Are your beliefs so solid that they could never be changed, even as you grow and change, and as the world around you changes?

My weekly horoscope by Holiday Mathis said this: “Your beliefs, which are based on the best information you have in a given moment, will inevitably change as the world does. There’s no shame in this. Values, on the other hand, withstand the tests of time. Love, tenderness, beauty, harmony and teamwork are values represented in your week.”

Beliefs are different than values. With whom, and where, and doing what, do you spend most of your time and your energy and your resources? Whether you like it or not, these people and these things are what you value more than anything else. You may scoff, and say to yourself, “Well, I can’t stand my job, but I have to feed my kids.” That’s fair. You value supporting your family and their well-being. Is that a bad value?? It seems pretty virtuous to me. However, your belief may be, “I have to do this particular job, and I have to work these amount of hours to feed my kids.” Is that the truth? Is this particular vocation the only way to feed your family? Would it be possible to work at a different job, or to work less hours? Beliefs are flexible. They can be changed. Do your beliefs support your values? This is what is most important. Be honest with yourself about your beliefs, and see if they honestly support your highest values. If you value inclusiveness, do your affiliations support this value? If you value family time, do your career and your hobbies support this value? If you value health and fitness, do your habits support this value? Where can you alter your beliefs to better support what you truly value? And remember, this is a private project. Go back to the first quote, I used in today’s post. What I most value in life is probably different than what you most value, and that is okay. That is what gives us such amazing variety and contrast and unique experiences in this life on Earth, which we are living right now. Just make sure that you are living the values and the beliefs that are true to you, so that you don’t cheat yourself, nor cheat the world, of all of the variety and mélange that is deserved to be experienced by all of us, right here and right now!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Monday – Funday

Yesterday, my daughter had a graduation/going away party (she’s starting college at summer session in a couple of weeks) here with her friends. She insisted on a 1970s theme. The kids went all out. Their outfits were amazing. So was my husband’s. He got all decked out as John McEnroe. Unfortunately though, most of the kids didn’t get his costume. Most of the kids didn’t know who John McEnroe was – not even the tennis team kids. John McEnroe is 63 years old. Sigh.

One of my daughter’s friends bought her a compass bracelet. It was wrapped around a card that said this:

The Adventure Begins

Behind you, all of your memories.

Before you, all of your dreams.

Around you, all who love you.

Within you, all you need.

Friends, we are starting new adventures all of the time, whether we are 18 or we are 63. Stay in tuned with your compass. It will never steer you wrong.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Soul Sunday

Good morning. Please use today to soothe your soul, to reset your batteries, to clean the windows to your perspectives, and to fill your heart with gratitude. That’s what Sundays are really good for – the “re-words” such as rejuvenation, reinvigoration, renewal, revitalization, refreshment, and restoration. All of these words suggest “making new”. Use Sunday to make new of what is old and tired and clouded and fading in you. ReSunday yourself. It will be a lovely way to start the week.

Sundays are devoted to poetry on the blog. Poetry is mysterious, intimate, clever and open. Write some poetry today to help ReSunday yourself. You won’t regret it. Here is my poem for today:

“I Am A Witness“

I am old enough to have been a witness to a lot of things.

Perhaps this is the truest gift which our aging brings.

I am a witness to so much triumph over hurt and loss.

I am a witness to the intricate, such as a large rock covered in moss.

I am a witness to breathtaking natural beauty, day after day.

When I allow myself the time to watch the miraculous display.

I am witness to all of my own sensations,

I am witness to my feelings and frustrations.

I am the witness who feverishly writes it all down,

As my hair is graying, from its once rich brown.

It’s the witnesses who bring clarity to what has gone on,

Facts and perspectives, mixed and weighed upon.

So much time we play at being judge, jury and litigators,

When in truth, we are mostly natural witnesses and mitigators.

I am a watcher. I am a witness. I hear. I feel. I see.

Please share what you witness with yourself, and with me.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.