Tag: inspiration

Monday – Funday

I saw a more explicit version of this on Twitter today and I decided to replace it with the tamer version above (although the other one was funnier as it replaced evil with a-hole. I do try to keep it funny on Mondays. We have to get our smiles on Monday from somewhere, right?)

It’s such a hard lesson to fully grasp, but not everyone will like us. Why is that hard to comprehend? We, ourselves, don’t like everybody we meet, and often the reasons why we don’t like someone aren’t even fully understandable to us, ourselves. Sometimes we don’t like people for truly irrational reasons. We don’t like someone because they remind us of someone else whom we had a negative experience with previously in our lives, or perhaps, we have already made up our minds that the person doesn’t like us, so we don’t like them back. So there!

We often make up our minds about people before we get to know them, and so we like or dislike a person based on our personal perceptions without ever having the full experience of getting to know the person on a more intimate level. Our human nature isn’t always the best about giving people “fair chances.” And so, that works the other way, too. If someone doesn’t like you without ever really getting to know you, whom they actually don’t like is someone based on their own perceptions and prejudices. Therefore “that someone” whom the person doesn’t like, isn’t even really you.

I read once that most of the most evil characters in soap operas and long running series are actually some of the nicest people whom you would ever want to meet. They get all of their negativity, anger, disappointment and resentment out by playing truly nasty characters. If we accept the fact that we are playing the evil character in someone’s story, we can maybe get an evil laugh out of it all. Mwahahaha. And we know that actually, in real life, we are much sweeter than the evil character whom we play in someone’s imagination.

I have always told my kids that when it comes to friends, four quarters is always better than 100 pennies. Instead of collecting adoring fans, and hundreds of “likes”, be thrilled if you have four people in your life, who truly “get you”, flaws and all, and love you deeply. The rest is all just about “live and let live”, and hope that everyone in life has their own four quarters, jingling in their back pockets to be there for them, when some random pennies have misunderstood them as evil chumps.

I have read that true wealth is freedom and the older I get, the more evident it is to me that this is absolutely true. A wonderful way to give yourself freedom, is to fully accept that not everyone likes you. In fact, some people really can’t stand you. And that doesn’t make you a bad person. Their perceptions really have nothing to do with you. You also have at least four quarters who think that you are absolutely wonderful. Whose right? It doesn’t matter. You be you. If you love and trust and respect yourself, everyone else is just a plus, and not a must. Be your own best friend and carry on with your story. The only story that really matters in your own life is your own story.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

College Days

We are visiting our youngest two children at their shared university this weekend. It’s the last home football game of my youngest son’s senior year in college. We’re only one evening in and I’m pretty, pretty exhausted. There was a time in my early adulthood that it seemed like I had just graduated from college myself. It was a good decade after graduating college, getting married and even having four kids, in which I would still feel as if I had just very recently graduated from college, myself. For the longest time, as an adult, I always felt just a few years out of college.

It is now safe to say that I don’t feel that way anymore. At all. It’s not even close. But it sure is fun to see my babies savoring their college years. And I assume that it will take a long while for them to no longer feel like the fun, silly, energetic, “the sky is the limit”, “life is a party” college co-eds, even years after they graduate. And that is a beautiful thing. The good stuff in life lingers long after it is over. Your experiences never fully leave you. In fact, your experiences do a lot to form you. Perhaps that glimmer of a young, radiant, excited college girl is shining out of my eyes a little bit this weekend. I can remember it (her) like it was yesterday.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Free Friday

As a woman from a family who has many members who have served in our military branches, and who has married into a family of many members who have served in our military branches, I couldn’t be prouder. There is no greater sacrificial service, than to be willing to put your life on the line for something bigger and more important than yourself. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. We honor you. Veterans will always, always be a favorite of mine.

Happy Friday, friends!!! Friday is the best day of the week, in my opinion. Therefore I keep it light on Fridays and I only discuss the frivolous – essentially material stuff that I like. On Fridays, I offer up one of my favorites, whether it be a book, a movie, a product, a website, etc. and I ask you to add your own favorites to my Comments section. Please also check out previous Friday posts for more favorites.

Today’s favorites are hilarious plant stakes that I purchased at a local plant shop, but it turns out that you find all sorts of these sticks of cute-funness, on Etsy. (With that in mind, before you know it, every one of our own dozens of plants will soon have their own stake.) These plant stakes make me smile and giggle to myself every time that I look at them, so besides the delicious clean oxygen my plants offer up to me, now they make me giggle and smile on the daily, too. How great is that?! What a simple, easy, inexpensive way to add delight into your own life.

Have a wonderful weekend! See you tomorrow.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Confession

A friend recently confessed that lately she feels like she doesn’t want to be a parent anymore. It was over a text, but I imagine if “the confession” had been in person, she would have sat tentatively, her eyes darting around the room to see if we, her friends who are also parents, would be looking down at her with glaring supreme judgment, even worse than what she was doing to herself.

And what she got instead was a lot of support, love, understanding, and relating. Parenting is hard. Caretaking is hard. Life is hard. Making those statements doesn’t mean that you are a terrible parent, an awful caretaker and that you hate life. Parenting is hard and wonderful. Caretaking is hard and rewarding. Life is hard and overwhelmingly beautiful.

Give yourself a break when you feel overwhelmed by your life and your responsibilities in your life. These are the times to lean into self-care and trust the Universe/God/Life with the rest. Give yourself the love and the care and the support and the advice that you would give to your partner, or to your child, or to your best friend. (in other words the person or people whom you love the most, because honestly, you, yourself, should be on that list)

I’ve shared this on the blog, before, but it seems appropriate to bring it back. Before I even became a mother, and I was spending some time in my head thinking about what kind of parent I wanted to be, I came across this wonderful poem by Kahlil Gibran. It has become my parenting mantra/philosophy/reminder throughout my entire twenty-six years of being a mother. It helps me to remember that I am co-parenting with a vast and loving and mysterious force of Life, and that I can lean into that wisdom and comfort whenever I need to just let go. This poem puts me – a fiery, sometimes control freakish mama, into her rightful place. And when I am in that place, I am freer to live in my own faith and to trust that bigger arms are wrapped around us all. I am freer to be loved, and to be Love. Gibran’s poem:

And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, Speak to us of Children.
     And he said:
     Your children are not your children.
     They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
     They come through you but not from you,
     And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

     You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
     For they have their own thoughts.
     You may house their bodies but not their souls,
     For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
     You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
     For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
     You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
     The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
     Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
     For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Exhibits

I have to get out early this morning for some appointments, so today, I am going to share some gems, from one of my treasure troves of other people’s thoughts which have sparked thought and reflection in me. I have always said that I wanted this blog to be a small museum of thoughts/ideas/reflections/perspectives. These might make for some good journal prompts for your own writing?! Here are some exhibits:

“You couldn’t heal because you kept pretending you weren’t hurt.” – Wise Connector, Twitter

“The saddest aspect of life now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom.” – Isaac Asimov

“Whatever it is you are seeking, won’t come in the form you are expecting.” – Haruki Murakami

“If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.” – Maya Angelou

“A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking, because its trust is not on the branch, but on its own wings.” – Native Red Cloud, Twitter

“Time you enjoyed wasting, was not wasted.” – John Lennon

“Raise your words, not voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.”– Rumi

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Porca Vacca!

https://twitter.com/i/status/1589282144840740865

This is a delightful video of an Italian little girl who is telling her mother the story about her friend who told this little girl in the video, that she shouldn’t have worn a miniskirt, and so the little girl in the video told her friend, to mind her own business. Her mother says, “Brava!” I so agree. Brava! The little girl uses lots of emphasis and hand gestures when telling her story. She’s a girl after my own heart. I am not Italian (as much as I wish I were), but I do talk a lot with my hands. People have called me out on it. I once caused a bruise near the eye of my friend’s fiance (now ex-husband) when while telling a story, my ring on my dramatic, story telling hand, smashed him in the face. (I guess now I would do it on purpose – kidding.)

My daughter is currently taking a public speaking class in college and she said that one woman suggested that she not use so many hand gestures while speaking. (My daughter kind of looked like an older version of the little girl above, when she told me this story. I hope that the girl who offered the perhaps helpful, constructive criticism did not receive any extra hand gestures from my proud, indignant daughter.)

I like passionate people. I like people with flair. I like people who are interesting to watch when they tell their animated stories. I imagine that this little girl in the video above will be known as an excellent storyteller for the rest of her life.

Speaking of “dramatic”, could this lunar eclipse, full moon be any more suspenseful and electrifying??? Election day, delayed powerball numbers for the biggest jackpot in history, another possible hurricane in the mix . . . . Porca vacca!!! (written with my hands escaping the keyboard and flying into the air above my head, with dramatic flair like you’ve never seen)

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Monday – Funday

credit: @woofknight, Twitter

Perhaps you have read about the brouhaha over salad dressing with Jason Sudeikis and Olivia Wilde. Apparently, when their relationship was falling apart, Jason was extremely upset that Olivia was bringing a salad with her “special” dressing, to her now boyfriend, Harry Styles. It has now come out that the “special” dressing is an easy, three ingredient dressing that came from Heartburn, the book by Nora Ephron which was about Ephron’s own divorce from Carl Bernstein. (My husband was a tad concerned when I made this dressing for us yesterday.) I adore my husband, but I will never pass up the opportunity to try an easy, delicious recipe. Here’s the recipe for topping tonight’s salad, friends. (You’re welcome.): “Mix 2 tablespoons Grey Poupon mustard with 2 tablespoons good red wine vinegar. Then, whisking constantly with a fork, slowly add 6 tablespoons olive oil until the vinaigrette is thick and creamy.” Supposedly this makes a good marinade for meat, too.

When my kids were living here at home, and they would ask what we were having for dinner, on any given day, with fear and trepidation in their eyes, I would always answer (curtly and confidently), “Yum! We are having “yum.” I don’t know why they ever even bothered asking the question, because the answer was always, always the same: “Yum.” We had “Yum” every single night for dinner.

Have a great, yummy week!! See you tomorrow.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Weird, Lucky Moment

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

I watched a fascinating interview with Jennifer Coolidge, an actress, who at the age of 61, is at the height of her career so far, mostly for her Emmy winning role as Tanya, in the HBO streaming series, “The White Lotus.” Jennifer Coolidge first broke out in Hollywood, twenty-three years ago, playing the original MILF, as “Stifler’s mom” in the wacky, outrageous movie, “American Pie.” And she’s played in a lot of other movies since then, but now, with years of working at her craft under her belt, at the age of 61, Jennifer Coolidge is finally considered to be “a star.”

In the interview, Jennifer calls this time in her career a “weird, lucky moment.” She says this: “It’s way more enjoyable if you never expected the moment to happen. I think it is the surprise of it all that makes it so fun.”

Jennifer Coolidge says that she thinks that the reason why people have had such a big response to her is this: “I think a lot of people want to feel like they have a chance at something that maybe they thought was a missed chance, and I think I’m a good example of that.” She says that people are now looking for relatableness and authenticity more than ever in shows and entertainment. “I feel like maybe the people who are watching streaming shows aren’t as in love with perfection, as previous audiences.”

There is real beauty and profundity, when you are coming into the height of yourself, later in life. As you age, it is easier to understand and to appreciate those “weird, lucky moments” that seem to come from out of nowhere, when you were least expecting them to arrive. When those “weird, lucky moments” happen, you shockingly realize, that as it turns out, you weren’t forgotten by the forces that be. All along, you were ripening on the tree of life, just doing your thing – that thing that you love and makes you feel alive, and then, who knew? Suddenly, it’s your time to be picked as the golden apple!

The wonderful thing about coming into your own, later in life, is that gratefulness and appreciation is easier to feel. If you age long enough and gracefully enough and thoughtfully enough, then you’ve lived enough life to understand that living life itself is enough. Life is the experience. Everything else is just the cherry on top. Jennifer Coolidge has a great attitude about this time in her life. Mostly, she is savoring it. She says this:

“I don’t know if I’ll ever have a year like this again, so I’m just enjoying it ’til it ends.”

Perhaps, this is really the point of living, itself. Who knows?

Catch the Smilin’ Sun Friday

Good morning! Happy Friday! On Fridays, I discuss the frivolous stuff of life only. I discuss my favorite things, or songs, or products, or foodstuff, or TV shows, etc. I’m feeling generous today, so I am going to list two favorites of mine for you to explore, if you are so inclined. (Btw, this upcoming weekend is “Fall falls back,” on the clocks. How delicious is that?! An extra hour of sleep is definitely a favorite of mine!)

Let’s just cut to the chase. Today’s first favorite of mine: suncatchers by Scout Curated Wears. These are not your Grandma’s cardinal/rainbow suncatchers. These are not your handmade Makit & Bakit suncatchers that were always ruined by that stray color bead that you just couldn’t remove from the section you didn’t want it in. These suncatchers are actually modern, intriguing, and spiritually pleasing. Scout Curated Wears has a lovely website with other pretty items like jewelry and greeting cards. Go to their site and enjoy perusing all of their offerings.

And my bonus favorite for today: Smilin’ Bob’s Smoked Fish Dip As I grabbed yet another two tubs of this delectable treat, and threw them into my shopping cart, my seafood grocer yelled out to me, “Oh, so you’re the one who keeps me selling out of this stuff!” Yep, it’s me. Guilty as charged. Although, I am sure I am not the only one who can’t get enough of this stuff. I have always loved fish dip, but hands down, this is the best fish dip I have ever eaten. Just call me “Smilin’ Kelly.”

Enter the weekend with this thought: “You get to decide your life.” Try it out. Just for the weekend: “You get to decide your weekend.” You won’t have control of everything that happens this weekend, but you do get to decide your reaction to it all. Decide wisely. Catch the sun and keep smilin’!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Pivot

I saw or read something recently that has stuck with me. I have been using this “question/tool” a lot to motivate myself and my family. This morning, I tried to see who to credit this idea to (I couldn’t remember where I had seen it/read it), and it turns out that this concept is all over the internet, from many different sources. I’m not sure why it took me so long to find it, and to utilize it, but better late than never. (especially as I embark on my new, freer empty nest) Here’s the question:

“Are you running away from something, or are you running towards something?”

Or sometimes I turn it into more of a statement/mantra:

“Run towards something, not away from things.”

The best way to use this tool, is to use it as a way to pivot from the negativity of what you don’t like in any situation/relationship/state of being, into figuring out what you do want instead. You go from a negative state of mind of hating your job/your house/your major/your health/your relationships, etc. into a positive state of mind of moving towards what you do want instead, in the way of a job/living situation/degrees and awards/health habits/fulfilling relationships, etc. So instead of defensively and impulsively running away from situations (or using avoidance and distraction), you instead aim your sights towards what you do want in your life. You steer your car confidently and purposefully down the road, in the direction of your goals and your dreams, instead of driving furiously and aimlessly and spastically away from whatever is in your rearview mirror, with no idea where else to go.

If you find yourself running away from something, ask yourself what you should be running towards, instead. In the words of Ross from “Friends”, “Pivot!”

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.