Tag: inspiration

Friday Fun and Stickiness

Happy Friday! Happy Friday Favorites!! On Friday, I keep it light and superficial on the blog and I discuss my favorites, such as products, beauty items, books, movies, websites, games, etc. It is the sensual stuff in life which makes it fun, so on Friday, I talk about the stuff that make my senses happy. Please check out previous Friday blog posts, for more favorites.

Before I get to today’s favorite, however, I have “a no horse pucky” story to tell you. Long time followers of the blog, know that I occasionally interject “no horse pucky” stories into the mix. (search up “no horse pucky” for more weird stories on the blog) These are stories that are so ridiculous and incredulous, you might think that I am pulling your tail. But I am not. Everybody has these crazy stories that happen in their lives every once in a while. These unusual events are so much fun to experience, and to retell.

Yesterday, our eldest son sent me a strange text. For background purposes, our eldest son is a tech professional who was attending a conference for his company in Boston earlier this week. My eldest son is a tall, gregarious twenty-six year-old man, who has curly red hair. (I only note his hair color because redheads/gingers can never be anonymous. They are rarely forgotten, primarily because they are so rare. Ask any ginger you know. This is the truth. When we took our son to Puerto Vallarta Mexico, when he was a toddler, the older village folk treated him like he was a god. They kept touching his hair for “good luck.”)

Anyway, the first line of the text said this: “Hey Mom! Random question for you, do you remember that apartment complex we moved into when we first moved to Charlotte (NC)? Was there a Colombian family there you gave a Steelers ornament to?”

Me: “Yes. Wow. Why?”

Our family moved from Pennsylvania to North Carolina in 2002, when our eldest son was six. We stayed in corporate housing apartments for three months that summer, until our house was ready to be moved into. While we were living in those apartments, we befriended a very nice Colombian family. They had just relocated to North Carolina from Columbia, because they wanted a safer place to live. Despite being well-off, educated professionals, and middle-class citizens in Columbia, they lived in constant fear of being kidnapped for ransom. That was a common thing in the early 2000s in Columbia. They said that they lived in terror, if any of the family members were even five minutes late coming home from work and appointments. We had a couple of enjoyable dinners together. I remember that they had lovely heirloom furniture and the wife introduced me to the wonders of cooking with capers. However, when we moved out of the apartment at the end of that summer, we lost touch and we never spoke or contacted each other again. We were never friends on social media.

Bottom line, it turns out that their son holds the same exact tech job, for the same exact company which my son works for, except that their son resides in Washington, D.C. and our son lives in New Jersey. Both young men happened to be at the same conference in Boston. Their son thought that he recognized my son (20 years after seeing each other at the age of six!) after they were talking and they realized that they had both lived in North Carolina as children.

Our son: “He told me his family kept that ornament for like ten years. LOL”

No horse pucky. In my opinion, coincidence is God being anonymous. This story brightened our day.

Okay, on to my favorite for today. It’s been a stressful summer, full of change and trepidation for our family and for our extended family. I have been looking for more items and objects to help me with mindfulness. On a whim, I purchased a Brain Games Sticker By Number book at our local grocery store. This book is like painting by numbers, but easier and less messy. The only skill that it requires is a steady hand. It’s such a satisfying, meditative activity and the end result is always really cute. I’ve already finished putting all of the stickers on that one particular book, and thus I have purchased three more of these Brain Games Sticker By Number books from Amazon. Try it. You’ll like it. You’ll relax doing it.

Have a great Friday! Go discover a new favorite to enjoy!! Don’t be afraid to play with stickers, no matter what your age!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Marco!

credit: Just Mike, Twitter

Laughing is good. There are a lot of funny people in the world. I saw someone pose the question on Twitter the other day, “Would you rather be smart or be funny?” A lot of people responded that most funny people tend to be quite smart. “Funny” itself is kind of a cute, funny word.

I pick up our youngest child, our daughter, from her university today. After a small bout of homesickness, she came out of her shell and took her first summer session at college by storm. My one son exclaimed that his sister had done more activities this summer at college, than he had done there in all four years. Funny.

Our daughter will be home for a couple of weeks, before she heads back to school for fall session. I am excited and aware. Once a child leaves home they never come back quite the same. And this is not a bad thing. It’s fun to see the facets of your children that are glistening new aspects of themselves, which only occur when they leave the nest and really explore things on their own, with a blossoming adult outlook. This is when your relationship with your children starts to evolve into a mutual, adult relationship, and this is when we parents and children start to explore each other’s personalities, experiences, perspectives on a more level ground. We get to know each other more as “people” versus rigid, hierarchical roles. I honestly enjoy this shift. It’s surprising, interesting, and a growing moment for both of you.

As has been the case with all four of our children, I think that our daughter is most excited to reunite with our dogs. They never disappoint. Dogs never hold back their exuberant feelings of love and excitement.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Cycles

When endings come in life either through death, or divorce, or moving to a new house, or changing jobs, or children growing up, I’ve come to understand how complicated the grief of this situation can be. When endings come, you don’t just grieve the loss of the person, or the loss of the place, or the loss of the thing, you also grieve the loss of yourself that has identified strongly with that person, or that place or that thing, or that function, or that title. Even though we are human beings, there is a huge part of us who identifies ourselves by what we do, and we label ourselves accordingly. For me, I have many labels: I am a wife, mother, daughter, sister, niece, cousin, in-law, friend, homemaker, writer/blogger, American, Florida resident, JMU graduate, UF parent, Pittsburgh native, avid reader, dog owner, animal lover, boater, walker, mentor, deep thinker, adventurer, brown-eyed girl . . . . The point that I am making is that any of these labels that I identify myself as, can change (and have changed over the years) through death, moves, job changes, health changes, relationship changes, aging, world events (hello, 9/11 and the pandemic) etc. So when we are having a hard time letting go of someone, something, or some place, a lot of that difficulty of letting go, is the letting go of that function, or that label that connects us to the person, the place, the pet, the job, the house, the title etc. In order to let go, it feels like we almost have to cut off a piece of our own selves, that is still clinging to make this part of our lives, an ongoing part of our present circumstances. We have a hard time surrendering this person, place, or function, or thing, to our past, because we still desperately want it to be part of our present. We aren’t ready to sever that part of ourselves.

With the ailing of our extended family member, I’ve been reflecting a lot on grief and why it is so hard and unique to each individual. A lot of how hard you grieve someone or something, is how much you sunk your whole self into a relationship or a situation. When endings come around, you have to face that the definition of whatever you are grieving – the relationship, the place, the role, is soon coming to a close. There is no going back and changing it and making it different anymore. It is what it is, becomes the final statement. And so when you are packing up your things from your desk, or when you are turning in your keys, or you are signing your divorce papers, or you are attending a graduation, or a retirement party, or a funeral, you are giving away a little chunk of yourself. You are closing out a chapter on YOU. And that is so incredibly hard.

There are so many endings in life. Life is cyclic in nature. Summer is soon coming to a close. Many people have already experienced their long anticipated summer vacations. And there is grief in these facts, for many people. But as the saying goes, for every ending, there is a new beginning. I can’t wait for the cooler weather of fall and even the overload of pumpkin spice everything. I hate saying good-bye to anything or anyone important to me, but I also love anticipating fresh, new hellos to what’s next in my life, and the new pieces of myself that these new, fresh hellos will reveal to me.

“There is no real ending. It’s just the place where you stop the story.” – Frank Herbert

Your Spirit

I always tell my family that none of us are even leaving this life with our bodies. And they groan, “Mom, you’re so morbid.” But I think that this is an important concept to fully understand and to grasp, in order to best savor your life. I love my stuff, but I get that what I really love, is the experiencing of “my stuff.” I love to play around with clothes and fashion and shoes and make-up, and I love to drive around in my car with the convertible top down, but I do these things with the full understanding that it is the experience of playing around with my stuff which actually enthralls me. Life is the experience for the spirit to enjoy. My body is the vehicle to get my spirit to all sorts of experiences. My physical home is a place that protects my body and comforts my spirit. But none of this is mine. My spirit (which is my peaceful awareness of all that it is experiencing) is the only eternal part of me, and the memories of all that my spirit has experienced in this life, is the only thing that I’ll be taking with me, when I leave this Mother Earth and journey on. I hope that I am collecting an incredible treasure trove of memories to take with me, because that is the only treasure I have amassed which truly has any real meaning and eternal value.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Monday – Funday

I’m in one of those “Would you rather be right or be happy?” moments. This is a lesson that comes up to me a lot in my life. I guess that I am sort of a righteous person. (ugh) One day, this lesson will sink in, and this lesson will stop landing at my front door. What lessons come to you all of the time? Look at regular patterns in your life which frustrate you. The failed lessons will keep coming back and around again, until you get it “right.” Then, you’ll be happy. Imagine that, being in a state of “right” and happy. Ha! Honestly, it’s probably best to just breathe. Just breathe.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

What Matters

Some things matter and some things don’t. The journey of life is about discovering the difference.

~ Alan Cohen

I love the story I read over the weekend in People magazine. A little girl was on a flight with her parents, and as they left the flight and were walking in the airport, in the wee hours of the morning (I think around 2 a.m.), the little girl panicked realizing that she had lost her first baby tooth and that she didn’t have it with her. It had probably fallen out on the plane. A pilot, seeing the little girl’s distress, promptly came over and wrote a note, vouching for the lost tooth, for the little girl to give to the Tooth Fairy. The note asked the Tooth Fairy to accept the note in lieu of the tooth. I am sure that the Tooth Fairy accepted the note.

Kindness matters.

I also read an excellent article by Paul Sutherland in Spirituality & Health magazine. The article was talking about perspective. He wrote this:

“I have been immersed in spirituality and religion my whole life. I met a few “repent or go to hell” fearmongering Christians, Muslims, and Jews along the way. Listening to the frown-lined devotee who is keen to save my soul, I ask: “Are you happy?”

I pause for their answer. I then ask: “Are you saved, or content that your life is reflective of Moses, Jesus, or Muhammed, or whoever guides your worship?”

I then listen and simply say, “Seems if I had a personal relationship with God, was feeling guided by God’s presence, and had faith, I would be so happy, optimistic, and joyful that I would hardly be able to contain myself. I certainly would not be running around judging people and tearing down those God created in God’s image.”

Paul also told the story about lamenting about all of the world’s ills to one of his teachers. His teacher let him go on and on and then said firmly, “Paul. Suffering exists so we have something to do.” Paul Sutherland ended his article with this statement:

“I realize that, actually, suffering can be our call to optimism, to act, to hope, and to work for a world where every person goes to bed feeling safe, happy, loved, full, connected, and optimistic about tomorrow.”

Perspective matters.

Masaru Emoto, a famous Japanese author and researcher, studied water crystals and what the effects of words and feelings have on water crystals. Here is an example of some of his findings:

Whether you believe these findings about water crystals to be true or not, we already know what Emoto was trying to convey:

Gratitude matters. Wisdom matters. Truth matters. Peace matters. Love matters.

It appears what really matters in this world, are those things which are eternal and recognizable to all of us, no matter our age, our country, our language, our backgrounds, our educations, and our beliefs.

Love matters. Love matters. Love matters.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Foothold

credit: @Chicanatravels, Twitter

Over a decade ago, I talked my husband into get a pedicure with me (his one and only professional pedicure). His poor technician gained muscles and my husband went down a shoe size. This meme pricked this hint which I keep getting from the Universe, to clean out my cabinets. I have 8,364 facial products and I tend to mix them all together (I’m an amateur chemist), so I have no idea what actually works, or if any of them even do.

I was walking barefoot in the grass this morning while taking my dogs out. That is one of the most healing things that you can do for your feet, and your spirit and your heart. I read once that when ever you need to feel grounded and peaceful and comforted, walk barefoot in the grass and chant “Pachamama” which is the Incan word for “Mother Earth.” Try it. It works. Despite all of our mistakes and taking her for granted, Mother Earth does all that she can to keep us comforted and whole.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Your Win

Simon: Trust me. I needed you today.

I couldn’t agree with Simon Cowell more. My friend sent this video to our text chat this morning and it turned my mood all the way around. This is Chapel Hart, a country music trio from a small town in Mississippi who wrote and performed a modern comeback to Dolly Parton’s “Jolene”, called “You Can Have Him, Jolene”. If you want to get your energy revved up this morning, and to feel inspired and empowered, listen to this amazing performance.

Chapel Hart: “We’ve been tryin to break into Nashville the last couple of years but it’s been kind of hard . . . I think country music doesn’t always look like us . . . .”

Simon: ” . . . . Sometimes you just got to break down that door.”

Howie: “You say country music doesn’t look like you. That is your win because you are going to be the original.“

What Howie Mandel said to Chapel Hart is applicable to all of us. YOUR WIN is your originality. You are an original. There has never been, nor will there ever be another one of you, with all of your distinctions, traits, mannerisms, perceptions, talents, gifts, experiences etc. Your win is when you empower yourself to be the truest, most authentic version of your best, original self. And then your win becomes our win, because we get to experience the fullest, most amazing version of the most original state of the one and only you. Trust me. We need you today. You need you today. Your win is our win, when you let yourself be your fullest, most original self.

Chapel Hart: Whatever your dreams, it doesn’t matter how crazy they are or how outlandish it is, if they say it isn’t a “real” job, you just show them that it is.”

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Snack Time

Credit: @eatinerni, Twitter

Eatinerni posted this picture with the line: “Follow me for more (great) recipes.” I love this dish. I’ve been making it since I was an early adolescent. And don’t be intimidated, it’s really easy to make. I can’t vouch for its nutritional value, however.

“We crave stability and we bore easily in it.” – Nicole LePera

I love this quote. I feel like this quote is the story of my life. I get to making things “simple-d down to nothing” any time my life feels chaotic and out-of-control, and then I start getting antsy, twiddling my thumbs, wondering how to jumpstart my mojo again. And this makes me sound like someone who can never be pleased, which is my least favorite kind of person in the world. Yuck.

I hope that we all can find our “happy medium” soon, not just individually, but in our institutions. I think that this is something that we are all desperately needing right now. The extremes are fraying our collective nerves. And it ain’t a pretty sight.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

My Advisor

I’m having a little bit of writer’s block. It doesn’t happen to me often, but nothing is stirring me, except perhaps the heat, and the humidity, and feeling a little stuck in my process of trying to move comfortably into the Empty Nest.

As I was writing the above sentences, my daughter texted me (she started her freshman year of college this summer). The text said this:

“Just had the best meeting with my advisor! He is so nice and I got all of my problems fixed lol.”

I found this comforting for many reasons. We all need to have meetings with “My Advisor.” “My Advisor” has a way of making everything seem easier, under control, and reassuring that all of our problems will be fixed. Do you need to schedule an appointment with your own “My Advisor”? Is this meeting a little overdue? Find a way to fit in a meeting in with your “Advisor” today in whatever form that takes for you: prayer, nature walk, meditation, quiet time, etc. It will be the best use of your time today. I promise.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.