Monday – Funday

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

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credit: @MastersRex, Twitter

Good morning. I woke up this morning to all of the evidence that all six of us are here at the house, fully living life, and the celebration of the holidays has been a hearty one. My skin feels a little crawly. No one would ever come close to accusing me of being a “neat freak”, but that internal switch in me, has been flipped, the switch that cries out, “Austere could be nice. Austere sounds like a strangely appealing aesthetic just about now. ” How do I we go from “Colossal Chaotic Christmas is Over Mayhem” to “Modern Minimalism” without much time, effort, coaxing or yelling? Maybe some year I’ll figure out how to just twitch my nose, and everything will magically go back to some semblance of order. In the meantime, my household is going at this, at a snail’s pace:

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credit: @MastersRex, Twitter

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!! I am sneaking on here to wish my beloved readers all of the best that the day has to offer. That’s the beauty of having older children. The festivities start well after sunrise, when the kids grow up. Although those of you with young grandchildren may be having a different experience right now. You’re sleepy and smiley and lucky and giddy right now, aren’t you?!!

Whatever feelings arise today, just feel ’em and then free ’em. Today can be a complicated day. There are no “shoulds”. Just try to savor the gift of a lifetime that you’re always unwrapping, every single day – the gift of experiencing a lifetime on Earth. It’s an interesting ride, isn’t it?

I appreciate you all. Your audience is what makes this a blog and not just another one of my personal journals, lying around, cluttering things up. You’re a vital part of Adulting – Second Half. I love you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

The 100 Best Christmas Memes For Friends And Family – Yellow Blogtopus

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

One of Those Random Thought Days

+ I once fell in love with a slouchy, soft, voluminous leather handbag and I promptly bought three more of them (in slightly different colors and variations) to have waiting in the wings. At that time, I told myself I have reached the age when I know what I like, and there is nothing better than a large, butter soft handbag, especially with all of the stuff that I (and my family) tend to jam into my purses. Then, one day, I saw a super stiff, shiny, molded handbag, but it was in the perfect, jaw dropping shade of aqua blue, with red accents. And aqua blue is my second favorite color, right below red. (True Confession: I once purchased a bottle of perfume that I didn’t really even enjoy the scent, because it had an aqua blue bottle with a red lid on it.) I couldn’t resist this purse. Now the truth is, I hate putting my hand in the back pocket of this stiff, inflexible bag, to retrieve my lipstick, because the bag is so hard that my hand tends to get a little cut up from the zipper as I try to carefully and slowly and strategically slide my hand into the pocket, but still . . . . the color. I honestly get more compliments on this purse than any purse I have ever carried. And it turns out that it is easier to find my stuff in a rigid, ungiving purse. My soft purses are almost like infinite, dark, dank caves, where you dip your hand in and you just never know what you might pull out of it. These slouchy bags are almost like snake charmers’ bags. So what’s the point of my story? I don’t know. Variety is the spice of life? Everything has its merits and its flaws? There’s good in being in soft, and there’s good in being firm? Maybe I should try to find a soft leather bag in aqua blue, or just stop wearing lipstick? Maybe this is an example of the ridiculous amount of time I spend over-thinking about things, that in the scheme of things, really do not matter? Who cares, right? You are probably thinking, “Wow, I just wasted a few minutes of my precious time, reading your nonsense about nonsense, Kelly. Do better.”

+ I was spending an infinite amount of time standing in a post office line the other day, so I got to talking to the woman in front of me, in line. She appeared to be around my age and it turns out that her two kids were around some of my kids’ ages (early to mid twenties). She was saying to me, that she was concerned with this pandemic happening that her kids have become too reclusive and too sensitive to noise and to boisterous activity. Having worked from home for this long, her kids can’t stand crowds and commotions. She had taken them to a chic, popular, food market type eatery for dinner the other night and they couldn’t take it. Her kids suggested leaving the hotspot immediately, and getting take-out from Chick-fil-a instead. I said, “Well, at least you got off cheap,” but inside I was starting to wonder if my family was having the same distress and discomfort with noise and action. But my concerns were easily put to rest last night, when all six of us, surrounded by our three boisterous dogs were playing a competitive game of Farkle around our dinner table, and at that moment, I wondered if we were going to break the sound barrier. I wondered if our windows were going to start cracking. I wondered if our neighbors were going to call the police with a noise complaint. And at that moment, I realized that for all of the things that I worry about in regards to my family, worrying about any of them, not being able to handle loud noise and melee can easily be crossed off the trouble doll list. Half the time my family is the noise and the melee. We are usually the ones causing visceral pain to everyone else. And right about now you are probably thinking, “Ugh, is this story your idea of “doing better”, Kelly??? Get out of your head. Go walk your dogs.”

+ “I don’t know why, but all the strangers I met today were extra nice and that can make a day so much brighter.” _ Erica Rhodes, Twitter

I read this Tweet this morning and I thought, “That’s how it seems to go in life. People, on any particular day, are either especially nice or on other days, all people seem to be especially grumpy.” There never seems to be much of an in-between. And then I thought about how many times I have heard the proverb about “seeing people not as they are, but as you are. . . ” and I thought, “Wow, I must have some heavy pendulum, menopausal mood swings.”

You: “Enough. Shut down your thought train, Kelly. Shut down your computer. Go take your hormones.”

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Soul Sunday

Good morning. Welcome to Soul Sunday. Sunday is the day for poetry on the blog. I started reading a lot of Pearl Jam’s song lyrics before deciding to write my own poem today. It is fair to say that musicians are really poets, who just happen to know how to sing. Eddie Vedder has written some deep stuff in his life. So, I surprised myself when I started doodling my own poem and it turned out to be silly and quirky and fun. That’s what is great about playing around with poetry. You surprise yourself a lot. Write a poem today. Just do it. Surprise and delight yourself. Here is my goofy little ditty for today:

“The Pet Peeve”

There once was woman named Old Mrs. Leave

Who had a huge dog, she appropriately named “Peeve”

She fed him a lot, so he grew and he grew

His favorite thing to do,

was to sit and to stew,

Just like his owner.

Mrs. Leave spent all of her time and focus on Peeve,

To think of anything else, she just couldn’t conceive.

Peeve became a nasty, monstrous beast.

He was snarly and angry, to say the very least.

What is the moral of this poem I released?

“Don’t be a moaner.”

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Is This Really Friday???

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credit: @MrEd315, Twitter

Today I am not feeling my usual Friday vibes. I have already spent most of my morning being a crazed “Karen” (justifiably so) to Verizon’s customer “service”. So, while I typically list a few of my favorite things, or beauty products, or food items on Favorite Things Friday, I’m sorry, but I’m just not feeling it today. It’s going to take a brisk morning walk in beautiful nature to get me back to my usual Friday mojo. So, instead, here are a few of my favorite snarky posts that I’ve seen this morning online:

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@MastersRex, Twitter

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@MastersRex,Twitter
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@woofknight, Twitter

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Monday-Funday

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Credit: @Emsrsue (Twitter)

This meme is truly not fair to my husband. I think there are times when he would have liked to have been more involved in the gift buying, but my alter-ego, “Karen Controlfreak” would not allow it. Still, this picture reminds me of every man I ever knew growing up. And I mean this fondly. These men worked their asses off for their families, and they always had a smile on their face wondering what their hard work was providing for others. Selfless, in many ways, really.

Here are some other tweets that captured my fancy, this morning:

One day I woke up and realized I am the dragon, not the princess. -@_desert_bones

Your confidence needs to be built from within. If it is built on compliments, it will shatter with criticism.- @WakeupPeopIe

Learn the difference between your intuition guiding you and your trauma misleading you. -@Positive_Call

Me: Ok, I’m wearing a nice outfit, I did my hair and makeup. I guess I look pretty ok! Camera: Bitch, you thought. -@momsense_ensues

Well before I agree to 2022 I need to see the terms and conditions -@frenziedlanes

Have a great week, my beloved readers!! See you tomorrow!!

****Friends, as I was wrapping up today’s post, this appeared in my backyard. Santa came early!!! There’s magic everywhere, all throughout the year. Notice it. It’s there.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Soul Sunday

RIP Anne Rice

I’m sorry for the delay in publishing today. We are all fine. I’m just distracted. Much like I am the ultimate impulse shopper, I am also the ultimate clickbait queen, on the internet. And to think, I have the nerve to make fun of our Labrador, Ralphie, when he chases the glimmering reflections of light on the floor, from the sunlight coming through our chandelier. (If you ever have a blindspot to your own behavior, look to what you criticize and/or poke fun about others, and then look for that trait in yourself. If you put down your guard, you will find it. Ugh.)

Since I got so busy going down the rabbit hole of clickbait, I am not in my writing mode. So instead, I started scrambling looking for poems that I liked (since Sunday is poetry day on the blog), written by other people, to share with you all, and I just finally landed on one that I like. Below is a fun poem by the author Brian Bilston, from his collection, You Took the Last Bus Home.

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Write a poem, today. Play with words. Play with punctuation. Let your inner creator come out today. Play! Play?!? Play. Play . . . . .

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Big Brood

I figured that we could all use some holiday cheer:

My daughter asked me how to begin her letter to Santa Claus so I suggested she start with, “Hear me out …” (@Dad_At_Law Twitter)

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credit: Rex Masters, Twitter

Happy Hanukkah to my Jewish readers!!!

****I know that a lot of you are worried about me and my family, but we are doing okay. A good night’s sleep does wonders. One Day at a Time. It’s the only way to live. You savor and experience your life more that way. Don’t worry. Be happy.****

When you raise a big family (we have four kids), you do a lot of dishes and laundry and driving and PTA forms. You do a lot of juggling of schedules and cars in the driveway. There is a steady hum of noise in the house, always. You are constantly cleaning up messes.

When your big family grows up and moves out, you honestly sometimes forget what raising the big family was like. And then they come home for the holidays, and you are swiftly reminded. As you are doing yet another load of laundry and the dishwasher is running yet again and your husband is vacuuming for the third time in one day, and you have to yell out over all of the noise for someone to move their car so that another car can get out of the garage, and you are trying to remember where everyone is and where everyone is supposed to be, you take a pause and you smile to yourself. You are reminded that you made it through 12 years of high schoolers, relatively unscathed. You are reminded that you helped to give a good, solid start to four wonderful people who are already making a difference in this world. You pat yourself on the back with sheepish pride. And although you realize that you certainly don’t have the energy to do it all again, you are incredibly happy that at one time in your life, you did have the energy to raise a big family. You realize that your big family helped to make your heart grow big, and a big heart is full of love and love is the stuff that sustains you, and that thought is what carries you through the final folding of towels and sheets, from the recent reunion of your big, beautiful brood.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Black Pepper Friday

20 Funny Black Friday Memes That Will Make You LOL

Happy Friday!! Happy Favorite Things Friday!! Happy Black Friday!! Honestly, I have never shopped “in person” on a Black Friday. Usually on Black Friday, I think of things and products that I have been meaning to buy, or that I buy regularly, and then I check on-line to see if there are any steals to be had on these items. I haven’t come across anything amazing so far, but at the age of 50, I already have too much stuff. The incentive to shop a lot (even on-line) on a Black Friday just isn’t there for me anymore. In fact, my favorite thing in the world, is to spend time with my family and my eldest son is flying back to his home tomorrow, so I’m going to keep this post short. No favorites today, I’m sorry! I’m going to savor being with my favorite people today. I hope that are able to do the same. See you tomorrow.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Ideal Holiday Companion

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(credit: Rex Masters, Twitter)

I’ve been seeing a lot of funny memes on Twitter, making fun of the “inevitable” annoyances and aggravations that can occur when everyone gets together and groups around the table for holiday meals. We’re having a small Thanksgiving this year, being just the six of us in our immediate family. We are used to each other’s quirks and proclivities, so I don’t anticipate any real upsets. Honestly, since my older two boys haven’t been home in a while, I am still walking around with a silly perma-grin on my face, and a giggle always at the top of my throat.

Still, it’s amazing how the random brouhahas can seem to blow up out of nowhere, whenever two or more “adults” are gathered, in the spirit of hope and good cheer. Ghandi said to “be the change” you want to see in the world. Perhaps, it would be easier to start small. “Be the change” you’d like to see around the Thanksgiving table. What would that look like? If I could pick out my ideal holiday dinner companions, they would be kind. They would be fun and funny. They would share the conversation, not dominate it. They would not use the dining room table as a pulpit or a political lectern or a spotlighted stage. They would not employ veiled passive-aggressive statements and judgments. They would savor the moments, and the food and the drink, instead of gorging and rushing to the end. They would be grateful and gracious and peaceful and helpful and pleasant and polite. They would roll with the punches and keep perspective. (So what if something got burnt or something got spilled or the dog ate a crescent roll?) They would be quick with a laugh and a compliment and a hug. They would be self-deprecating, and quick to offer the benefit of the doubt. Instead of trying to make everything a “Hallmark image”, they would look around their table using only the eyes of their souls, in order to see and to experience something far greater than any uncomfortable, staged, fake event. These dinner companions would be nothing short of wonderful and lovely.

Now, finally, at this middle-aged staged of my life, I fully understand and accept that the only person’s behavior which I can control, is my own. I suppose that I have created a good formula above, for whom I would like to see at my holiday functions. What I know, is that I have created a good formula above for who I can aim to be at my holiday functions. It looks like I have my work cut out for me, and this work doesn’t have anything to do with cooking or cleaning and setting tables. This work is all about focusing on keeping my expectations about others in check, and yet also, keeping high aspirations for myself and my own attitude and behaviors.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.