Monday – Funday

credit: Rex Masters, Twitter

I hope that everyone is staying cool and comfortable and financially solvent this summer.

The wisest thing that I have read lately is from Taylor Blake, a young woman and a Florida farmer, who has recently received some fame for videos that she has put out on social media, featuring one of her dearest pets, an emu named Emmanuel. Taylor was recently a guest on the Jimmy Fallon show. This is what she recently wrote:

“I spent years of my life hating myself and blocking my own blessings because I allowed other people’s opinions of me to rule my life. I don’t care if you don’t think I am funny. I don’t care if you don’t like me. I love me and I will continue to create content that makes ME happy. <3”

That’s all I’ve got for a Monday. Have a great week!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Foothold

credit: @Chicanatravels, Twitter

Over a decade ago, I talked my husband into get a pedicure with me (his one and only professional pedicure). His poor technician gained muscles and my husband went down a shoe size. This meme pricked this hint which I keep getting from the Universe, to clean out my cabinets. I have 8,364 facial products and I tend to mix them all together (I’m an amateur chemist), so I have no idea what actually works, or if any of them even do.

I was walking barefoot in the grass this morning while taking my dogs out. That is one of the most healing things that you can do for your feet, and your spirit and your heart. I read once that when ever you need to feel grounded and peaceful and comforted, walk barefoot in the grass and chant “Pachamama” which is the Incan word for “Mother Earth.” Try it. It works. Despite all of our mistakes and taking her for granted, Mother Earth does all that she can to keep us comforted and whole.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Snack Time

Credit: @eatinerni, Twitter

Eatinerni posted this picture with the line: “Follow me for more (great) recipes.” I love this dish. I’ve been making it since I was an early adolescent. And don’t be intimidated, it’s really easy to make. I can’t vouch for its nutritional value, however.

“We crave stability and we bore easily in it.” – Nicole LePera

I love this quote. I feel like this quote is the story of my life. I get to making things “simple-d down to nothing” any time my life feels chaotic and out-of-control, and then I start getting antsy, twiddling my thumbs, wondering how to jumpstart my mojo again. And this makes me sound like someone who can never be pleased, which is my least favorite kind of person in the world. Yuck.

I hope that we all can find our “happy medium” soon, not just individually, but in our institutions. I think that this is something that we are all desperately needing right now. The extremes are fraying our collective nerves. And it ain’t a pretty sight.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Stuff

I’m sorry for the bad quality. I literally took a picture of this Tweet and put it up here. Hank Green is one of those science guys on Twitter (a Bill Nye kind of guy) who helps to explain science to us unscientific types. This is one of the first photographs from the James Webb Space Telescope. Mind blowing. So many responses to this tweet referred to “existential dread.” Sometimes I wonder if “existential dread” is actually synonymous with “egotistical dread.” OMG, what?!? We’re not the center of the Universe?! Our current drama that’s playing out is not actually all that important at all?!? I honestly don’t feel dread when I read about scientific discoveries like this. I feel peace. I like the relief and the quick change in perspective that it gives to me.

In other news, I read this profound quote the other day:

Everybody has a heart; you just have to find the location.
— “The Goldbergs,” “The New Landlord” (1949)

Playing detective to find out what is really at the heart of any matter, explains a lot. Last night, I was at a dear friend’s house, and we were trying to help another friend understand why she had quit doing one of her great passions/purposes/talents in life (something which she loves to do as much as I love to write, maybe even more, and honestly she is better at it, than I am at writing). It turns out that what was stopping her from doing her avocation was related to a great loss that she had experienced, which was closely tied to her passion project. My one caring, questioning friend helped our dear friend get to this heart of the matter, and the relief that our bereaved friend seemed to feel, coming to this realization, made me hopeful that she will resume with her passion soon again. What is near and dear to anyone’s heart is found in the tender, vulnerable parts of what matters to that person the most. And everybody has at least one thing, or at least one person, that matters to them greatly, and that is where they store most of the whole of their precious, beating heart.

On a lighter note, my second eldest son and I had a text exchange, in which we were discussing his longtime girlfriend’s upcoming birthday. My son is in medical school and if he weren’t in medical school, he probably would have been an engineer. He is a science geek. My son would adore the first part of my blog post and would already be off looking for more information on the Webb telescope without finishing the post. “Subjective” is his least favorite word. He was the kid whom I always had to remind, “DO NOT touch any buttons or levers anywhere, at any time, do you understand?” In my humble opinion, he tends to be a tad practical, and perhaps not quite sentimental enough, when it comes to getting his girlfriend gifts. So, I texted him this thought:

“I read something that you should never buy a woman something that has a cord.”

His reply:

“Hahaha Damn, I’m glad I’m not a woman then.”

And of course when I mentioned this text exchange to my antagonistic youngest son, this son went on to give plenty of examples of women who love receiving fancy curling irons and blow dryers and he reminded me of all of the women who buy power tools from him every single day. (I get it. I get it. Perhaps I should have been more direct in my communication about maybe finding something with a cord, that also may have some sentimental value, or perhaps I should learn to just butt out – something that I need to work on every single day of my life. Yes, I can be nosy. I can be bossy. My heart is usually in the right place, but still, I need to work on these attributes of mine, this I know.)

I think I’ll end this post with a word that I learned from Rex Masters on Twitter the other day. It is a Japanese word: kuchisabishii – it means the times that you are not hungry, but you eat because your mouth is lonely. My mouth is lonely a lot. In fact it’s kind of lonely right now, so I am going to sign off. See you tomorrow!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Wednesday Whimsies

“You know you’re an adult when everything annoys you.” – an anxious panda (Twitter)

“I believe in annoyed at first sight”. – @williedontmiss (Twitter)

My husband and I have a little getaway planned this weekend for just the two of us. We need it. I think that we both have morphed into “grumpy old men” lately.

“It hit me that I’m not a snob. I’m not anti-social or emotionally unavailable. I just don’t form close bonds if the energy isn’t right for me. I use my discernment and this taught me that perfect alignment asks you to be very selective.” – Valencia (Twitter)

“The most important thing when attending any function is planning your escape.” – Dan Regan (Twitter)

“Whenever you are alone, remind yourself that God has sent everyone else away so there is only you and God.” – Rumi

We were talking to our daughter last night about her first impressions of college. She loves it. And although she still plans on being a finance major, she thinks that she may minor in Astronomy (she’s had two days of Astronomy class and she LOVES it.) And finally, the only downside of being in college that she sees so far, is that there are people everywhere and anywhere. She can never escape from people. (Yep, she definitely has our genes.)

“People cry not because they’re weak. It’s because they have been strong for too long.” – Johnny Depp

If you need a good cry, please cry. Cry. Tears are our bodies’ release valve. You’ll feel better after you cry. I always do. I consider myself to be a happy, strong person and I cry a lot.

“Sometimes miracles are just people with kind hearts.” – The Burly Monk (Twitter)

Be someone’s miracle today. Yes, you do have that power. It’s been built right into your kind heart. Many kind hearts have been my miracles over the many years of my life. I am so grateful for the walking miracles all around me.

And for self care advice:

“Don’t forget to drink water and get some sun. You’re basically a houseplant with more complicated emotions.” – Your Tango

MrsBeesEmporium, Etsy

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

There’s a Hole in the Bucket

Love is an action, but the feelings that you get from loving are incredible. Those feelings have to be love. So love must be a by-product of acting on love.

I’ve been wallowing in love-sickness these last few days. We took my youngest child and our only daughter to college on Friday (she opted to start this summer). Why is it that when you take a kid to college, everything that you do, and that you see, reminds you of them?!? Everything. I was in the grocery store yesterday, and on the clearance shelf they had a big bag of candy corn. I got a lump in my throat because my daughter is the only one in our family who actually likes candy corn. I almost publicly cried at our local grocery store over a huge, stale bag of candy corn.

My daughter seems very happy though. She’s meeting lots of people and I am so thankful for the technology of Facetime. Our youngest son is living with us this summer, while doing a summer internship. (His epilepsy has been well under control. Regular readers, thank you so much for your love and concern, and your prayers and good wishes. He is doing so much better than last fall. We all are doing so much better, and we thank you from the bottom of our hearts for your love and support.) My youngest son is one of our middle two sons, of our family of four children. He shared a bedroom with our second eldest son, his entire childhood. He has never had the experience of being an “only child” with his parents’ attention entirely focused on him. Never. There has always been at least one other child at home, every time that he has lived with his parents. I am not sure that our youngest son is enjoying this “only child” experience all that much. He seems to find a lot of reasons to work late, and to go to the gym for hours and hours. I’m hearing, “Don’t worry about me for dinner,” a lot. Interestingly, all four of our children are dating only children. I can’t decide whether this means that onlies are somehow attracted to big, loud, boisterous, chaotic families, or if my kids are just tired of sharing with others?! It’s probably a mix of both.

On Twitter this morning, the Wise Connector posted this:

I like this take on the “Bucket List”. As a 51-year-old woman, the “Bucket List” thing kind of stresses me. I start worrying about prioritizing, and questioning whether I am wasting too much time, and even the state of my health. “The Bucket List” makes me concentrate on my demise too much. Last night, a group of good friends and I went out to celebrate one of our friend’s birthday at a new restaurant in town. The company was great, but the restaurant sucked. This restaurant is not long for staying in business, we all agreed (interestingly this restaurant is in one of those “doomed” locations. Three restaurants have already failed at that same spot. This is a phenomenon I have noticed my entire life, wherever I have lived. Some locales just seem to be cursed in this world.) Still, I am thrilled that we went to this new place. I am always curious about new places, and new people, and new things. I am thrilled for the experience which we had last night. I love having my curiosity satisfied, and now that particular restaurant will be conveniently tossed into the orange bucket above, leaving more room in the other bucket, which we middle-agers are expected to obsess over.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

The Day After

This is our Ralphie, the day after my daughter’s 1970s party last weekend. Ralphie was the life of the party. Ralphie thought that he had died and gone to Heaven having that many people swimming in the pool with him at one time. He showed off his cannonball and diving skills for anyone who asked him to – which was everyone. When the kids created a dance circle, Ralphie happily took his turn in the middle of the circle, and chased his own tail for at least one minute straight (a natural high). Ralphie then decided to track and to chase down the flashing disco lights, in his usual, seriously focused, hunting dog style. In short, Ralphie knows how to party. I hope that no matter how much fun that you may have gotten around to last night, you are not experiencing Ralphie’s after party burnout this morning. But if you are, it will pass and hopefully, it was worth it!

“Life is short, wear your party pants.” – Loretta LaRoche

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Monday – Funday

Yesterday, my daughter had a graduation/going away party (she’s starting college at summer session in a couple of weeks) here with her friends. She insisted on a 1970s theme. The kids went all out. Their outfits were amazing. So was my husband’s. He got all decked out as John McEnroe. Unfortunately though, most of the kids didn’t get his costume. Most of the kids didn’t know who John McEnroe was – not even the tennis team kids. John McEnroe is 63 years old. Sigh.

One of my daughter’s friends bought her a compass bracelet. It was wrapped around a card that said this:

The Adventure Begins

Behind you, all of your memories.

Before you, all of your dreams.

Around you, all who love you.

Within you, all you need.

Friends, we are starting new adventures all of the time, whether we are 18 or we are 63. Stay in tuned with your compass. It will never steer you wrong.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

The Kava Effect

Yesterday, I drove my youngest son to an urban area about 45 minutes away from our home, for his summer internship. He had to be there before 7 a.m. Since, this isn’t something that I do often at all, it was an interesting, eye-opening adventure. Before 11 a.m., I had hung out at a coffee shop, I had breakfast and then later a snack, and I had shopped in four different stores, in three different locations, including doing a bagful of returns. I literally texted my friends that I wish that I could become a morning person for this very reason. The efficiency was unreal because there were no lines in the stores, and no crowded streets, nor were there overrun parking lots. But alas, the downside of this was that I was exhausted by 6 p.m. on my beloved Friday. And truthfully, sleeping in this morning was 110 times more delicious than yesterday’s efficiency rating. Bummer.

Speaking of coffee, yesterday, the only coffee shop which was open that early, near to where I dropped my son off, was also a Kava bar. I initially strolled up to the bar and asked for my usual: black coffee and some water. I sat down at the bar next to several people, all at least half of my age. They all seemed to know each other, being locals from the neighborhood. Let’s just say that me, a 51 year old, who is not at all used to way early mornings, bleary eyed, who could easily be mistaken for a touchy “Karen” woman (on a bad day), in my coastal grandma style clothes, did not necessarily blend in with my youthful, energized, tattooed, pierced, urban chic, clearly from the local neighborhood cohorts at the counter. Not long into guzzling my first cup of coffee, someone rang a bell, and all of the people in the shop, picked up these little silver shells, sucked down the drink inside of these shells, and yelled, “Bula!” (which is a Fijian word offering good tidings) And that’s when my FOMO set in deeply. “I want one of those. I want to do that,” I said to the nice girl behind the counter named Scarlett, who had earlier told me that she was also a nursing student besides working in the coffee bar, and to whom I had already given a motherly lecture about not spreading herself too thin and keeping her stress levels to a minimum because nursing school is hard!!

And that’s when I noticed it happening, a phenomenon that is starting to happen to me more and more these days. I’ve become that cute, novelty, older, suburban lady who amuses her youngers by trying out “their stuff, on their turf”. “Okay,” sweet Scarlett said, with a kind, patient, nurse-type demeanor already. “We’re going to start you out with a low-tide (half a cup). Your tongue might get a little numb and you will probably feel a little relaxed. The Kava is going to taste a little bitter.”

“Omg!” I turned to the artistic looking young man on the side of me, who was wearing large gauges in his ears and donning fluorescent orange eye glasses. “Am I still going to be able to drive?” The locals all got some chuckles about that question. “You’ll be fine. It’s not a glass of wine,” he stated, drinking down his second full-tide of Kava. “But ma’am, please make sure that you drink a lot of water today, okay?” he said with a hint of protectiveness that warmed my heart.

The only effect that my little half-shell of Kava had on me was a diuretic one. Thankfully, none of the bathrooms in any of the stores which I perused after leaving the coffee shop were crowded either. But honestly, that’s a lie about the Kava experience, and it having little effect on me. I used to feel a little indignant, when I first realized that I wasn’t exactly blending in, with the younger crowds anymore. For decades of my adult life, I honestly felt like I had just graduated from college. When my own kids started towering over me, I started to get the clues that I had graduated from my own youthfulness. The indignance that I felt at first, is starting to morph into more of an acceptance, and at times when I feel a younger person’s respect for me, and amusement of me, and a protectiveness surrounding me, I even feel grateful. I realize that I have reached an age, when my younger counterparts have a lot to show me and to teach me, too, if I am willing to come at things with open mindedness. I am invested in hopefulness for the future of our young people. I am a mother of four of them. I believe that if we try to understand each other, instead of trying to dominate each other, there is an ability for all of us to grow together, and to create an amazing society, the likes which we have never seen before.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Warm >

I didn’t feel like watching TV last night, so the quotes below are what I ended up taking screenshots of, while I was scrolling through Twitter, while cuddling on the couch with my husband and our Boykin spaniel, Trip. We had just gotten back from our nightly walk, and it was humid as could be (summer in Florida, need I say more?), and I felt so hot and grimy and sticky. Trip was also panting heavily from walking in the heat, but that overheated feeling never stops Trip from cuddling. With Trip, snuggling beats staying cool, Every. Single. Time. Therefore, I happily welcomed hot dog fur on my leg, and equally hot air being panted on to my skin, as we both felt utterly refreshed by our restoring mutual love and appreciation. Trip is absolutely right, Snuggling > Cool and Aloof, every day, all of the time.

The first story which I clicked on, from my Twitter feed, was a tweet from one of my all time favorites, The Sheldrick Wildlife Trust, which is a sanctuary located in Kenya, Africa. The Sheldrick Wildlife Trust rehabilitates orphaned elephant babies and other orphaned species, until they are ready to be on their own in the wild. The stories that The Sheldrick Wildlife Trust typically sends links to on Twitter, are usually stories about how the various orphans were rescued, and came to be at the sanctuary. Last night’s story was about baby Vaarti (which means “luck” in the local dialect). Most of the babies at the sanctuary are found out in the wild, by searchers who fly over the land, or by reports from locals who see babies, desperately trying to survive out in the wild, who have sadly lost their mothers, usually to poachers or due to drought and other natural disasters. Typically, these babies are brought to the sanctuary by rescue missions utilizing trucks, and planes and helicopters. However, Vaarti was actually delivered right up to the stockades by a young, wild female elephant, who was too young herself to be Vaarti’s mother, but who recognized that he needed help. This precious, young elephant had the innate sense to deliver Vaarti right up to the gates of the sanctuary. Once that she saw that Vaarti was in the hands of safekeeping at the Sheldrick Wildlife Trust, she disappeared back into the bush, and was never seen again. Angels on Earth, come in so many different beautiful forms, don’t they? Big Hearts > Cold hearts, every day, all of the time.

This next little tweet is super sweet, and also quite heartwarming:


“This kid probably 8/10 years old asked politely if he could pet my dog, I said yes. After he pet her, he hopped on his bike, popped a wheelie and said, “that was for you, thanks for letting me pet your dog.” Highlight of my day, to be honest.” (maryxwetzel, Twitter)

This tweet has a 154,000 likes from a Twitter account that has about 5,000 followers. It seems to me that we are all pretty hungry, for the good, little heartwarming stories wherever we can find them, these days. Heartwarming little stuff, such as stories about pop wheelies > Cold hard facts, every day, all of the time.

And this last tweet, just cracked me up. As a middle-aged woman about to release her youngest little baby out into the wilds of college in a few weeks, my mood meter has, admittedly, been all over the map:

“I had a mood ring once. It died of confusion.” – (Anais Ninja, Twitter)

If I personally were wearing a mood ring lately, it most likely would explode and make a mess all over my hand. Giggles are great for mood regulation. Self deprecating, warm-hearted humor, and downhome funny > Cold and aloof and serious, every day, all of the time.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.