+ I was listening to a podcast yesterday that suggested that instead of solving our problems, we have a tendency to “change” our problems. So, we allow ourselves to get distracted with other people’s problems, or with other smaller problems in our own lives, without tackling the biggest problems, which are wreaking havoc in our own lives. It’s a neat little trick that we play on ourselves. It’s the very definition of codependency to focus on taking care of, or “fixing” others, instead of what is ours to take care of and fix – ourselves. What are you avoiding in your own life, with the premise that you are too busy dealing with other problems (and often, other people’s problems)? What are you trying to distract yourself from, instead of facing the problem head on and looking for ways to solve it?
+ My husband was talking to an independently wealthy man at work who said that he thinks that he is a better employee because he chooses to work. He does not have to work, for money. My husband said that he sees that the opposite is true, too. If you have to work to provide for your family, and there is no other way, you will hustle like nobody’s business. So, what I take from this conversation, is that employees from both extremes will make your best employees. Self-motivated workers who are doing the job for the intrinsic qualities that it gives to their lives, and self-motivated workers who are desperate to provide a nice life for themselves and their families. The shared quality is “self-motivated.” And what I have heard from every business owner I have ever met, is that finding good, reliable, steady employees is the hardest part of the business. If I were a business owner, I would suss out what is deeply motivating (or not) to a potential employee.
+ And a quote that struck me from my readings this week: “Sometimes you have to end things before they end you.”
+ Okay, I have heard from many of you that you miss my Favorite Things Friday posts, so I will give you one of my favorites for today. I bought a small Tibetan singing bowl set for around $10 on Amazon and I strike it three times every morning. It soothes me. I love to hear the sound of it. I consider this to be my own personal reset button, to start my day. And even “the less woo-woo than me, i.e. my entire family” have stated that they like the sound of it, too. Enjoy your senses. This is the real meaning of being sensual.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
I know that I have a few loyal California readers, and I want to let you know that my heart and prayers are with you, and all whom you love. These last six months or so, in the United States particularly, it has been beyond proven that we are no match for the elements. May you all be safe and serene and find glimmers of hope in this horrible situation. If you get a chance, please let us know that you are okay.
Yesterday, marked the first real day of the new year for me. It was the first time I had my house completely to myself in over a month. (and as an introvert who craves solitude, this was deeply delicious) I went straight into a nesting instinct on steroids, and I cleaned every linen on every single bed in the house. I had saved our bed for the last, and so, way past our bedtime, our mattress pad was still drying in the drier. Therefore, I made up a makeshift pile of blankets on our bed and I told my husband that we were “camping.” We officially started the new year, “camping” in our own bed.
I no longer write a regular Favorite Things Friday blog post, but I do want to recommend a couple of fun little gadgets. The first one is one that I bought for myself, for my birthday:
Solareye Bird Feeder with Camera – This bird feeder is a joy. I am spying on all of my hungry little feathered friends with a close-up view. I’ve only had it up for a few weeks, and I have already “collected” 12 different species of birds, all captured on video, for me to view whenever I need a smile. This feeder turns “birds-eye view” on its heels! The Carolina Chickadee has proven to be my most frequent visitor so far. This hungry little guy has shown up 32 times already.
Also, my eldest son and his fiancee’ got us an Aura Digital Frame for Christmas and it is amazing! It was super easy to set up (with their help, of course. They’re young!) The best part of this frame is that all of us in the family can download pictures to a shared Aura App any time that we desire, and then the pictures (and videos) pop up on our frame. It’s such a lovely surprise to see a new picture of loved ones that we weren’t expecting, to suddenly pop up. I have owned other digital frames before, but the Aura takes things to a new level. I highly recommend it.
Spend those Amazon gift cards that you got for Christmas, on something good, that will continually bring a smile to your face. You can’t go wrong with either of these gadgets. Please share your gadget recommendations in my Comments, too.
Shifting gears, this was the daily peace quote:
“We must look at our life without sentimentality, exaggeration or idealism. Does what we are choosing reflect what we most deeply value?“
– Jack Kornfield
If you aren’t sure what you deeply value, look at what you do, and what you choose, in your everyday life. That is what you are showing yourself, and the world, what you truly value. If you are feeling unhappy or unsettled, chances are, you aren’t living your true values. Take some time for self-awareness at this beginning of this new year. If you value love, health, family, friends, security, using your talents, truth, joy, travel, service, nature, knowledge, hope, peace, loyalty, beauty, kindness, progress, adventure, faith etc. are your actions reflecting these values?
Okay, before I close, here’s another big hug to my readers from the beautiful state of California! May the best of today, be the worst of tomorrow for all of us in 2025. Onwards and upwards . . . . It’s all going to be okay.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Good morning! Happy Lucky Friday the 13th!!! Fridays are the best days of the week, aren’t they?? Fridays are equally full of both anticipation and relaxation. As most of you know, Fridays are for favorites on the blog. I learned about the above item, when a friend sent a picture of herself donning one, to our group chat. I’ll leave it up to your imagination, the jokes that ensued. That being said, another friend vouched for the “Headache Relief Hat” ‘s effectiveness for her headaches. As one who is prone to migraines, I decided to order one for myself for $15 on Amazon. Thankfully, I haven’t had a migraine since I received my Headache Relief Hat, but I am currently wearing it right now and I must say, it feels wonderful, even without a headache. It is nice and cool and soothing.
I hope that you all have a wonderful weekend! Three quarters of our kids are home this weekend and we have movie night planned for tonight, so I am a happy camper. Love and luck on this auspicious day!
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:
Okay, don’t worry. It’s Friday. (happy Fri-yay!!!!!) It’s the day on which I lighten up on the blog. It’s the day I focus on all of my material stuff, because I like my stuff. A lot. Fridays on the blog are called Favorite Things Friday and it’s a day when I discuss my favorite products. Before I get to today’s favorite, do you remember Jello Pudding Pops? They were so good. They should bring those back. (although not their unfortunate choice of a spokesperson) I know. I know. I can make jello pudding popsicles by hand, but I’m a little lazy when it comes to cooking and kitchen stuff. Facts.
Today’s favorite is seen above. I was at my bank earlier this week and the woman who waited on me looked super sharp. She had a cute haircut, a simple, but elegant black summer dress on, and her one arm was adorned with what I thought to be many artsy bangle bracelets. (see above) I told her that I loved her bracelets. (I adore bangle bracelets, but having a small wrist, I’ve always had a hard time wearing them comfortably.)
“Oh honey,” she said, with a smile on her face. “These aren’t bangles. This is just one cheapie wrap bracelet from Amazon. But I do get compliments on it, all of the time.” Well, guess who sent me the link and guess who ordered one of those bracelets from Amazon within minutes, and guess the amazing price? $9.59 This is one fun, light, easy to wear, interesting looking cheapie bracelet that brought this woman’s plain black summer dress, up a notch. If you need a fun, pick-me-up, here is the link:
(If you can’t see the link, here is the description: Fesciory Leather Wrap Bracelets for Women, Boho Leopard Multi-Layer Crystal Beads Cuff Bracelet Jewelry)
Readers, I love and appreciate you, more than you will ever know. Have a fabulous weekend! See you tomorrow.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:
2368. What’s one thing you’d never let a child do?
We had a lot of chipmunks in Pennsylvania when I was growing up. I’ve honestly never seen one in Florida. We have plenty of squirrels in Florida, but personally, I always preferred chipmunks to squirrels.
I feel like a little chipmunk this morning. I can’t seem to focus on any one thing. Today’s favorite for Favorite Things Friday is another brand of pen. (Big surprise) I read an article, earlier this week, from the New York Times’ Wirecutter about the best pen brand, voted on by their entire office. The winner is the Uni-ball Jetstream RT pen. So, of course I promptly ordered some of these pens on Amazon and they are great!! The best part about writing with the Uni-ball Jetstream RT pens, that stands out to me, is how fine-lined the results are when you write. I like a thin, crisp, elegant line of ink. As I always say, it’s the happy stream of the little delightful pick-me-ups throughout the day that add up, and makes for overall great days. When you find yourself saying thank you, throughout the day, you can’t help but go to sleep with a grateful heart.
“That softness around your eyes, a softness in your face. Almost the way you feel when you’re about to start crying. That, to me, is love. It can be romantic love, it can be friendship love, it can be family love, it can be love for a chipmunk. It can be love for anything.” – Moby
Have a great weekend, friends. I hope it is filled with softness and love!
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:
2661. If you were to join one of the armed forces, which would it be?
Hi friends!!! Happy Friday!! Happy Best Day of the Week!!! I just took a quiz asking, “How many gold medals has the United States won in the history of the Olympics?” Like any true, proud, optimistic, ethnocentric American I picked B. 3012, which was the largest number out of the three choices. It turns out a majority of us true, proud, optimistic, ethnocentric Americans also chose the same answer. We chose wrong. The true answer is 1179 gold medals (still, not too shabby).
My regular readers know that Fridays on the blog are devoted to my favorite things. What’s not to love about our stuff? We wouldn’t be true, proud, optimistic, ethnocentric Americans if we didn’t love our stuff. But before I get to my favorite for today, I wanted to give you a bonus mental health trick. We are in sticky, political times. These times tend to bring up edgy, political conversations. We’ve learned with certain people in our lives, who hold different views than us, it is best to just say, “Let’s drop the conversation.” And deep down, if you are both reasonable people who care about the health of your relationship above all else, you take this wise direction. Did you know that you can use that statement with yourself? Say you are in a mental tizzy, beating yourself up for something that you did, or something that you forgot to do, or you are just worked up about your life in general, and your mind is going over and over and over it, like a broken record, you can use the same line on yourself. “Let’s drop the conversation.” And then once you do that, force yourself to be mindful by counting your breaths, or noticing one of your senses, like what you are currently hearing. Treat your monkey mind like your annoying acquaintance who won’t let something go. Train yourself to use, “Let’s drop the conversation.” Your wisest self knows this is for the best for the overall health of your relationship with yourself.
Okay back to stuff: Earlier this summer, when I was in London, I went to the Lush flagship store. Now, not being a big fan of shopping malls, I erroneously assumed that this Lush store was the only one in existence. I excitedly texted my daughter to meet me in this amazing, interesting, one-of-a-kind store, to which she answered, “Mom, we have Lush at the mall.” (This world has gotten so global.) That turned out to be a good thing, because you probably have Lush at your own mall and if not, you can get their products online. The product which I am in love with from Lush is BIG Shampoo. Having fine hair can be such a curse, but this BIG shampoo adds volume to my hair like no other product that I have tried before it. The secret of this shampoo is big chunks of sea salt that give it an interesting, admittedly “hard to get used to” texture, but the results are worth the adjustment. You can buy it in all different sizes and even get free samples at the store, so give it a try. Let’s bring Big Hair Back, 80s Ladies!!
Have a great weekend, friends!!! See you tomorrow!!
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:
2940. Are you holding a grudge against someone or something? If so, what?
Hello friends and readers!! Happy Friday!! I hope that everyone is doing alright in this heat. I spoke to my aunt in Pennsylvania yesterday and she said that the temperatures have been hovering in the 90s there (not typical PA temps), and our poor son (who lives in Miami) has had a broken air conditioner for five days. Aye yai yai! Fridays are reserved for my favorite things on the blog, and admittedly high heat is NOT, at all, one of my favorite things.
But getting back to the good stuff . . . my favorite for today is something that I found while shopping for my “grand-dog”, Otis. It’s a snuffle mat. It’s made from fleece and it has hundreds of little fleece tabs that you hide treats and whatnot under. Snufflemats appeal to dogs’ natural foraging instincts (think like when you are stuck on a walk, because your dog won’t remove their nose from a certain spot on the grass), and they help with relieving boredom in dogs. These mats are washable, and they come in so many cute, interesting varieties. (Amazon sells quite a few of them.) I have yet to purchase a snuffle mat for our three dogs, out of concerns that the snuffle mat could turn into “fight club mat”, but I haven’t ruled out buying one just yet. They’re just too cute!
Have a great weekend, friends. Stay cool, if you can!! See you tomorrow.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:
Hi, friends and readers!!! I’m back. I’ve missed you, and writing the Adulting-SecondHalf blog, so, so much. But I just came back from a wonderful trip to London and other parts of England. (My husband and I just had to check up on our daughter who is studying there this summer. We knew that she missed us. Ha!) I had never been to England before, and I was so utterly pleased with what I experienced. I am not a city dweller. I love nature. I like to call myself “Snow White.” But if I had to live in a city, London is the most liveable city that I have ever travelled to, and I have been fortunate enough to have visited many cities in our own country, and abroad.
But before I bore you to death with my trip details, I do realize that this is Friday and it is a good one!! It’s the New Moon. We are officially, fresh-starting the second half of the year. What do you want for the rest of this year? It’s a perfect time to reflect, get your thoughts down in writing, and start taking steps towards what you want. My first half of the year has been amazing – chock full of adventures, travel, visits with family and friends, weddings, the birthday clump of our family members, holidays etc. etc. Honestly, it’s been delightful, but it’s also been a lot. I like the second half of the year because things don’t get too drummed up for our family, until the holidays at the end of the year. Things in my life never seem as frenzied during the second half of the year. I like spontaneity and the second half of the year seems to allow for more of it. But, I digress. . . . today is Favorite Things Friday on the blog!! Today my favorite is packing cubes. I had never used these before in my travels, but my daughter insisted that they make a huge difference in utilizing space in your luggage. I purchased a soft set of about seven packing cubes for this trip, and while I’ve never been good about rolling up my stuff like little sushi rolls (my husband, being a long-time military brat, is a master at this), I loved how organized these cubes kept my stuff. My tops were with my tops. My bottoms were with my bottoms. My hair stuff was all together and easily found. My suitcase was no longer the jack-in-the-box jumble that it usually is, when I am travelling. If you have never tried packing cubes, I highly recommend giving them a try.
Okay, for those of you who want my reflections on London and other parts of England, here they are, in no particular order:
+ England has excellent food. It is a mistaken thought that the only thing good to eat in England is fish and chips. (although, I had fish and chips and it was yummy) I had incredible food including delicious steak ale pies, delectable sandwiches, fantastic Indian food, superfresh and colorful greens and fruits and desserts from Borough Market . . . now you may think, “Well yes, you were in a major city in the world. There is competition and variety,” but I will tell you that the best food that I had on my trip was in a tiny pub, out in the country, near Salisbury, England. We had “Sunday Roast” there which was like a fabulous Thanksgiving meal. You could choose beef or chicken or steak pie, and then on top of each of these was a huge Yorkshire Pudding. Yorkshire Pudding was maybe my favorite item that I ate the whole time I was in England. Yorkshire Pudding is a delightful, doughy cloud that you dip in gravy. I adore it!
+ I kept describing London as the most “wholesome” city I have ever been to, and we went all over London. My husband and I averaged walking about 20,000 steps a day. (my kids were never a fan of our style of vacationing. “Some people like to relax on vacation,” was something which we often heard muttered by one, or by all four of our children, on our various vacations) London has wide streets, lower buildings, less traffic (the London Underground is safe, easy to navigate, quiet, and reliable – we took it everywhere), and lots of green spaces. The people are reserved, but kind and polite and eager to help you. It’s a wonderful place for “eye candy”: beautiful historic cathedrals and buildings, colorful flowers outside of every pub, gorgeous, multicultural people with smart, dressed-up, intriguing style. In short, London is everything it’s cracked up to be.
+ My husband and I saw King Charles being driven out of Buckingham Palace, quite by chance. We noticed that the gates to the palace had been opened, and a crowd was gathering around the road by the gates. My husband and I were curious, but having it be our first day in London, we instead decided to meander over to the fountain in front of the palace to see it more closely. The next thing we knew, a police officer stopped traffic on the road, just a few feet away from us, and a luxurious black car drove by with the white-haired king sitting in the back, his fingers in front of his body, held in a position, much like when you were a kid and you were playing, “Here is the church, Here is the steeple”. His fingers were in “steeple position.”
+ We toured St. Paul’s Cathedral, The British Museum, Southwark Cathedral, The Tower of London and Westminster Abbey. All were interesting. I particularly liked the smaller Southwark Cathedral where Shakespeare is said to have spent a lot of time and I delighted in having the proper English afternoon tea experience (with a three stack tower of treats) at The British Museum while my husband satiated himself in Egyptian history. While all of the buildings and their historical significance were incredible, it struck me that Westminster Abbey was essentially an extremely enormous fancy mausoleum. And having spent most of our time in The British Museum staring at mummies and sarcophaguses from Egyptian tombs, it struck me that it is kind of sad and egotistical that many of the wealthy humans of our past were so fixated on the afterlife, and of being remembered by future people. (other than major historical figures and writers buried in Westminster Abbey, I knew very few of the names nor the significance of the people buried there) I honestly found the experience to be an excellent reminder that life on earth is NOW. And as happens on all of my travels, I was sincerely amazed how many millions of different people I was witnessing every day, all over just one city, on our great big Earth. (and as happens on all of my travels, there were plenty of Americans afoot. You just can’t escape us. There is a line from a song, whose band and name escapes me now, where the singer dejectedly and flatly states, “Oh, you’re all still here.” That line played in my mind a few times on this trip.) Anyway, what I felt deeply reminded of, when I reflected on all of the carefully planned, and elaborately and expensively made “death artifacts” is that our life’s experience is really mostly just consequential to ourselves, and to the few people in our inner circle. This realization is freeing. Stop focusing on making an impression on other people. Just be yourself, and be kind, and live each precious moment of your life fully and consciously. Don’t fear death. Focus on living your life.
+ My favorite part of the trip was being with family whom we don’t get to see often at all. (it’s hard, living across the pond, and all) They live by the sea in England, and we took a train out to see them, and even though we hadn’t seen each other in years, the love flowed fervently. We even met children that we had never met before and by the end of the night, we were all hugging and professing our love for each other. We “saw” each other. There is something so special and uncanny about “the family bond.” We even all went to Stonehenge together and I had honestly expected that to be the most spiritual experience of my trip. But it wasn’t. The most spiritual part of the trip wasn’t the cathedrals, nor the choirs singing in chapels, nor the mysterious giant rocks of Stonehenge. The most spiritual part of my trip was a reminder of just how beautiful and strong the elastic bonds of love, hold us all together. Great, loving arms enfold us all. This I know.
It’s great to be back. I love you. I missed you. See you tomorrow!!
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:
1488. Do you prefer sporty or academic members of the opposite sex? (Lucky for me, my husband is both.)
Good morning. Happy Friday!! Happy Best Day of the Week!! On Fridays, I stick with the sensual stuff and I try to put my usual overthinking brain to the side. On Fridays, I list a favorite thing of mine that has made life more fun and interesting for me. Please tell us some of your favorites in the Comments section.
Today’s favorite is Versace Dylan Purple perfume. I LOVE perfume! I sometimes think that the sense of smell may be my favorite of all of our senses (when things smell good). Lately, any perfume which I’ve sampled seems to all smell the same. I haven’t smelled anything unique in a long time, until I caught a wonderful whiff of this perfume! I opened up the flap of one of those magazine ads and I felt like I had been transported into a purple haze of olfactory enchantment. I was so excited to smell something “all its own.” Try this perfume. It might just be your signature scent. (and remember, you can usually get samples at department stores, or you can buy sample vials on websites like eBay and Mercari and Poshmark, before buying a whole bottle. And these sample vials are great for travel!)
Have a great weekend, friends! Live it fully and in the moment!
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:
(My right ear is still all clogged up and muffled. I am annoyed to the point that I am seriously considering holding a crab up to my ear and hoping for the best.)
Good morning!! Happy Friday!! Happy Favorite Things Friday!! On Fridays, I get out of my head and into my senses. Today’s focus is on the sense of taste. Today’s favorite of mine is so good, I bought an entire tray of Krab (yes, Krab with a “K”) which my husband doesn’t like at all and I only half-like, just because it was the only way to buy a tub of Sau-Sea SeafoodMustard Sauce at my local grocery store. This sauce is so tasty, I would drink it. I have eaten almost an entire tray of Krab for lunch this week, only for another delectable taste of Sau-Sea Seafood Mustard Sauce. Hopefully, you can find a tub of the sauce without the Krab, but either way, you won’t regret your purchase.
Have a wonderful weekend, friends. Hopefully no overheating, overeating, overdoing or being threatened by tornadoes, are in the cards for any of us this weekend!! Let’s try to get back to “easing” into summer.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:
2991. If you were a member of the Spice Girls, what would your spice handle be?
