A Fire is a Fire

I just recently had to have a complicated root canal that involved several dental visits and two hardcore antibiotics. So when I mentioned to my husband that I was now feeling soreness on my bottom left line of molars, he said to me, “Don’t wait until a 5 alarm fire to make the appointment. A fire is a fire, but smaller fires are easier to put out.”

I like to think of myself as the wise, deep thinker of our relationship, but the facts are, my husband is every bit as wise and deep as I am, probably more so. (he just doesn’t pontificate as much as I do) And this fire analogy is one that certainly deserves to be in this thought museum that we call Adulting – Second Half.

We do this to ourselves all of the time, don’t we? (at least I do) We often, deep down know that things are beginning to smolder somewhere – in our bodies, in our relationships, in our homes, in our jobs, in our daily habits, in our finances, etc. but we don’t really want to deal with the little fires. They are annoying. They’re not that big of a deal. Anyway, we don’t have time (nor desire) to deal with them right now. We think that if we just ignore these little bothers and issues, they might just disappear.

When raising my kids and something relatively minor happened with one of them, say a parking ticket, or a bad grade, or sleeping in late, etc., I would always admonish them to take the lesson early. There are small consequences for small mistakes, but if you don’t learn the lesson, the Universe is sure to send you a bigger version of the teaching, until you finally learn the lesson and change direction. I would say, “Consider yourself lucky that the Universe usually sends small hints and experiences to learn from, unless you don’t heed the lesson and you are finally hit over the head with a big ol’ hammer of a lesson for not heeding the breadcrumbs which were being sent to you, all along the way.”

So I heeded my husband’s good reminder about degrees of fires, and I went back to my dentist yesterday. “You again?” the entire office staff teased me, with mixed looks of pity, concern, and empathy. I sat down (once again) in my dentist’s chair and I told him what my husband said about fires. “Well, let’s take a look,” he said kindly. And what the x-ray showed was not decay. My teeth were all healthy. It appeared that my back molars were sore because my bite was “off” from my recently replaced crown. He shaved down a little bit of my back molar, charged me nothing to do it, and sent me on my way – happy, relieved and smiling. Another fire put out!

And now on to a plumbing issue, although this one doesn’t really fit the fire analogy quite as well . . . .

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

A Letter to my Soulmates

“Life is a song – sing it. Life is a game – play it. Life is a challenge – meet it. Life is a dream – realize it. Life is a sacrifice – offer it. Life is love – enjoy it.” – Sai Baba

Dear Friends,

I don’t know about you, but I usually love the start of the new year because it makes me feel inspired and energized and “raring to go.” But honestly, at this time, this year, I feel a little differently. I feel a little depleted. I feel a little confused, and a little out of sorts. I feel a little overwhelmed and undirected and not as confident as usual.

Our country has been through a lot of intensity, in the last six months or so, particularly. We have dealt (and are still dealing) with out-of-proportion natural events, out-of-proportion political events, and also, as we know that every personal life is a world unto its own, so many of us have dealt with out-of-proportion personal events going on at the same time as the major events around us swirl (storms within storms). Intensity is not necessarily “bad.” But even feeling intensely good is a stressor to our minds, and our bodies, and our souls. Intensity, by its very definition, is a lot.

We all know that we have very little to no control of people and of events outside of ourselves, but the beauty of it is, we DO have control of how we react and how we respond to everything. And no one else has control over these reactions and these responses, but us.

I have often thought that our responses to situations come out of two places – fear or love. This is confusing sometimes, because how can you love something that you deem as truly awful? How can you approach something terrible with love? Faith comes from love. Hope comes from love. Curiosity and openness comes from love. Community and service and generosity comes from love. Optimism comes from love. Fear breeds faithlessness, hopelessness, closed mindedness, isolation, suspicion and greed and pessimism. Loving someone or something doesn’t mean that you always agree with it, or like it, or enjoy it. Loving someone or something doesn’t mean that you don’t want the circumstances to change. Loving just means fully accepting something as it currently is, and choosing a faithful, hopeful, curious, open-minded, service-minded, generous, optimistic approach to the situation, and to yourself and to others, all at the same time.

We recently spent a lovely night with close friends of ours whose home was greatly damaged in the Florida hurricanes of last fall. Despite the sadness, and frustrations, and the awfulness of the situation, our friends talked of getting closer to their friends and neighbors. They talked of the joy and excitement of seeing a waterway opened that had long been closed to boats and activities. They talked of fun changes which they can make to their home, that they had long talked about doing. They spoke with faith, hope, curiosity, openness, and abundance. They spoke of love for each other, for their home, for their community and for their state. Would have they preferred to not go through the travesty of the hurricanes? Of course! But they are choosing to respond to the situation out of love, and not out of fear.

It is my belief, that our souls decided to experience this lifetime. It is my belief that our souls decided that we were up for the adventure, and also for the triumphs and even the travesties that could come from this daunting adventure. Our souls signed on to carry out Sai Baba’s quotation: “Life is a song – sing it. Life is a game – play it. Life is a challenge – meet it. Life is a dream – realize it. Life is a sacrifice – offer it. Life is love – enjoy it.” Our souls decided to take this roller coaster ride of our lifetimes, knowing that at the end of the ride, despite all of its thrills, and all of its ups and downs, we would end up safely at our port of entry. Our love of tactile, sensual, creative experiences overcame our fears of the unknown, as we stepped into the seats to take the rides of our lives.

Much love to you all, my dear soulmates,

Kelly

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

(((California)))

I know that I have a few loyal California readers, and I want to let you know that my heart and prayers are with you, and all whom you love. These last six months or so, in the United States particularly, it has been beyond proven that we are no match for the elements. May you all be safe and serene and find glimmers of hope in this horrible situation. If you get a chance, please let us know that you are okay.

Yesterday, marked the first real day of the new year for me. It was the first time I had my house completely to myself in over a month. (and as an introvert who craves solitude, this was deeply delicious) I went straight into a nesting instinct on steroids, and I cleaned every linen on every single bed in the house. I had saved our bed for the last, and so, way past our bedtime, our mattress pad was still drying in the drier. Therefore, I made up a makeshift pile of blankets on our bed and I told my husband that we were “camping.” We officially started the new year, “camping” in our own bed.

I no longer write a regular Favorite Things Friday blog post, but I do want to recommend a couple of fun little gadgets. The first one is one that I bought for myself, for my birthday:

Solareye Bird Feeder with Camera – This bird feeder is a joy. I am spying on all of my hungry little feathered friends with a close-up view. I’ve only had it up for a few weeks, and I have already “collected” 12 different species of birds, all captured on video, for me to view whenever I need a smile. This feeder turns “birds-eye view” on its heels! The Carolina Chickadee has proven to be my most frequent visitor so far. This hungry little guy has shown up 32 times already.

Also, my eldest son and his fiancee’ got us an Aura Digital Frame for Christmas and it is amazing! It was super easy to set up (with their help, of course. They’re young!) The best part of this frame is that all of us in the family can download pictures to a shared Aura App any time that we desire, and then the pictures (and videos) pop up on our frame. It’s such a lovely surprise to see a new picture of loved ones that we weren’t expecting, to suddenly pop up. I have owned other digital frames before, but the Aura takes things to a new level. I highly recommend it.

Spend those Amazon gift cards that you got for Christmas, on something good, that will continually bring a smile to your face. You can’t go wrong with either of these gadgets. Please share your gadget recommendations in my Comments, too.

Shifting gears, this was the daily peace quote:

We must look at our life without sentimentality, exaggeration or idealism. Does what we are choosing reflect what we most deeply value?

– Jack Kornfield

If you aren’t sure what you deeply value, look at what you do, and what you choose, in your everyday life. That is what you are showing yourself, and the world, what you truly value. If you are feeling unhappy or unsettled, chances are, you aren’t living your true values. Take some time for self-awareness at this beginning of this new year. If you value love, health, family, friends, security, using your talents, truth, integrity, joy, travel, service, nature, knowledge, hope, peace, loyalty, beauty, kindness, progress, adventure, faith etc. are your actions reflecting these values?

Okay, before I close, here’s another big hug to my readers from the beautiful state of California! May the best of today, be the worst of tomorrow for all of us in 2025. Onwards and upwards . . . . It’s all going to be okay.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.