Good morning. It’s Monday. Any future trippers, here? Anyone future tripping about this week, next week, next month?! It’s so easy to do, isn’t it? Just make an outline of your plans, fully understanding that some of these plans will be derailed, and surprises will happen – exciting and disappointing. Nothing will happen exactly as you have planned, and that is what makes life so interesting. Just lean on the fact that you are fully equipped to deal with whatever happens. You’ve proven it to yourself, again and again. Next week has been exhilarating . . . .
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Good morning. Below is a picture that I took this morning, of one of our plants, who lives on our back porch. What a beauty! This gorgeous green palm is the inspiration for the poem which I wrote below. There is so much inspiration for poetry in all of our lives, if we are just willing to look for it, and to contemplate it. Sundays are the perfect days to contemplate the epic poems of our own lives. Today, live as if your own life was a treasured poem to be shared throughout the ages. We all have our odysseys. Explore and record and savor the epic-ness of your own inner and outer life. It’s a hidden treasure waiting for you to notice it.
And as the raindrops glistened in the new morning sun,
the plants understood that they had been kissed by diamonds,
through the torrential storms and the terrors of the night.
It’s just that they had to wait for the buoyant light of day,
to see the blessing of what was once thought their plight.
I love this meme. Of course, it makes it seem so simple and easy, though. Just intellectualize your angry feelings and then calmly, explain and express them. You know, just stay rational. Ha! Anger has a ton of energy. There is a reason why anger is often symbolized by a raging fire. Anger often torches everything that comes in its path and makes no apologies while it is doing it.
What the meme is really expressing is to explain your anger as it comes, when it is still a little campfire, made out of just a little pile of kindling (frustrations). Of course, the hardest step is admitting to yourself that you are angry. We have turned anger into a mean, bad, crazy, hurtful, ugly emotion, but that’s because we bottle it up too much. Any emotion that is bottled up comes out ferociously. Rarely, does a bottled emotion just dissipate and evaporate. Instead, it eventually uncorks and overflows. Even bottled up happiness can look a little crazy and unhinged when it is finally expressed.
A great way to truly get to understand your own emotions, is to explain and describe them. This does not mean to explain and describe what situation that you think created your emotion, it means to describe and explain the actual emotion which you are feeling.
This morning I feel serene. Serene feels peaceful. My body feels rested. I don’t feel rushed. I feel “in the moment.” I am slowly and easily breathing. Having described what the feeling of serenity feels like, I can then explore what got me to this moment: a good night’s sleep, my husband bringing me coffee, an unscheduled morning.
This thoughtful exercise can work for any emotion, even anger. We notice physical pain in our bodies. In this same way, we can notice what emotion feels like in our bodies. By doing this, we get really familiar with ourselves, and our reactions. We can better control our emotions, when we understand them. We can better respond to situations that we understand, versus just randomly reacting with bottled up emotions that finally just explode outward from the pressures surrounding us.
Emotions aren’t bad, not even anger. They are just signals for us to explore our needs. If we treat our feelings with interest and dignity, they help to guide us to what is best for us, and for our relationships. We just have to remember to use our emotions as telling, introspective tools, versus maniacal, out-of-control weapons.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
“When you meet someone who is good for you, they won’t fill you with insecurities by focusing on your flaws. They’ll fill you with inspiration, because they’ll focus on all the best parts of you.” – Colleen Hoover, All Your Perfects
My daughter joined a sorority yesterday. When she was going through rush, one girl told her to pretend that she was lounging on a couch. The girl told my daughter to ask herself, “With what group of girls could you lounge on that couch, and feel most comfortably, happily and easily yourself?” My daughter told me that she found that perfect fit. She found her space on the right couch. And as a woman who is still extremely close to her best seven friends from her own wonderful college sorority, this makes my heart swell with happiness and hope. We women will always need other good women to paddle through life together. It’s in our DNA.
The emphasis here is of course on “good women“, and women and people, in general, who are “good for us.” As the quote says above, the people who are good for us won’t be judgy and overly critical. The people who are good for us will help us to discover our own very best gifts, and how best to utilize these gifts for ourselves and for our world. Judgmental people put up big blocks in relationships. The judgers cause people to get defensive, to shut down (for fear of more criticism), and they encourage others to start honing in on the critical person’s own flaws. (because none of us are flawless) For this reason, judgers often end up being extremely lonely, angry people. The people who are good for you, are just the opposite. These people will cause you to open up, and to bloom, and in this way, they will make you see the beauty in their own lovely, loving, wonderful characters, as well.
Okay, I get it. I’ve gotten off course. I’ve gotten a tad serious for a Friday post. My apologies. As my regular readers know, Fridays are devoted to the frivolous here at the blog. On Fridays, I list a favorite item, website, book, product, etc. that has made my sensory life nothing short of delightful. Please check out previous Friday posts for more of my favorites and please share your favorites, too. We can all have some of the same favorites. Todays favorite: Garlic Expressions Vinaigrette This salad dressing was supposedly created by a “legendary” supper club in Ohio. I love anything that contains garlic, but somehow this supper club encapsulated garlic in the most dreamy, light, liquid form imaginable. I got my first bottle at the Fresh Market, but I noticed that you can also order a bottle on Amazon.
Have a fabulous, frolicky, garlicy weekend! Spend time with the people who are good for you!
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
I recently read that the United States has more lighthouses than any other country – more than 700. (Michigan has the most lighthouses, at 129). Figuratively, I suspect that the United States has more “lighthouses” than we could possibly count. I believe that the whole world is filled with “lighthouses.” I have benefited from so many examples of light in my own life, in my own little corner of the world. Who hasn’t?
My horoscope from Holiday Mathis the other day said this: “You’ve been influenced by memorable people. If not for the lasting impression they made, you wouldn’t be following their advice and examples. You’ll now consider how you can create such memories for others.”
It’s so true, isn’t it? In our own lives, so many other lives have served as beacons of light and love and hope, to us. These impressions and examples have only added to our own inner light, which hopefully, in turn, serves as a tall, shining lighthouse to help and to serve others, who may be feeling a little lost at sea. And even our mistakes don’t go to waste. Even our own worst examples of our own darkest selves, can inspire others to desire to be, and to act, nothing like us. That, too, is a good thing, in the long run. Everything that we do, and that we say can be turned into some form of good and light, in the end.
Another thing that I read recently suggested that we spend a lot of time trying to turn the darkness around us into light. This is a waste of time and energy. Our job is to become the light, and thus the lighthouses, that helps to lead others out of the darkness and murkiness, and into the safety of the solid shores, where we can all stand tall and share the light. We just need to shine light on the darkness around us and when we do this, we see that the darkness was mostly a mistake, made of our own whirling fears and uncertainty, which made us turn away from the light that is always there.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
These are the memes that spoke to me from Twitter today. I read also on Twitter that Harry Styles is extremely upset about what people are putting out on social media about his girlfriend, Olivia Wilde. He said this about Twitter: “a s***storm of people trying to be awful to people.”
I think Harry is right. Social media can be extremely negative, harmful, mean and bullying. It can also be filled with inspiration, beauty, and wisdom. It’s what you look for in anything, that makes it so. Most people, places, and things are just neutral. We put the meaning and stories and attention into/on the item, or the person, or the relationship to these people, places and things. What is terrible for me, might be wonderful for you. The key is to put the focus on what is wonderful for you.
Are you letting yourself be loved, you grumpy little shit? Earlier this week, I got a root canal and honestly, I haven’t felt this good in quite some time. I realize I had been walking around, ignoring a growing, gnawing problem (literally in my head) that I was hoping would magically just disappear. Most of the time, life doesn’t work this way though, right? Our bodies, and our emotions send signals which grow louder and louder, for a purpose. They are saying, “Let yourself be loved, you grumpy little shit!”
Truthfully, I have more energy and vitality than I have felt in a while. I had the infection removed and my whole body is sighing with relief. My husband read that in the 1800s, people had a higher average body temperature than we have these days, because many people walked around with low-lying infections and diseases that could not be remedied. We have so many remedies these days for so many problems. Are you utilizing the remedies that are needed for your own mind, your own body, and your own spirit?
Today’s mantra is “Let yourself be loved, your grumpy little shit.” (and this means putting a big emphasis on showing love to yourself in your every waking moment, and in every decision that you make for yourself. Love and gratitude radiates outward from a healthy, loving heart. We will all benefit from your healing.)
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
“Don’t be sad – Autumn is nature’s way of showing us how beautiful letting go can be.” – James Norbury
I love autumn. I live in Florida. “Summer” is like the rest of the states’ “winter” here in Florida. Summer is the season which most of us Floridians count down the days for it to soon be over. In summer in Florida, you won’t see most of us natives outside, except for the wee hours of the morning, or until it is dark, unless of course, we are floating in a body of water. There’s lots of water here. Yes, I love autumn.
This autumn will punctuate letting go for me, more than perhaps any other autumn in my life. Last Thursday, my once chaotic, full of noise and action, sometimes “bursting apart at the seams” fluffy, homey nest became officially empty, as we watched my youngest two children drive off to their shared university. Sigh. This “letting go” lesson will never go away during our lifetimes, will it? The thing that we most have to let go of in life, is probably the kneejerk reaction to stubbornly revolt against letting go.
“Oh, honey, once you get into your fifties, your “Check Engine” light comes on more and more. Get used to it.” – Theresa, the pulls-no-punches receptionist at my dentist’s office, who pulled strings to get me into the endodontist yesterday. Bless her wise and practical heart.
I had my first root canal yesterday. I was fine with letting go of the nerves of that molar. I feel surprisingly good today. These endodontists seem to have this treatment down to a science these days. The root canal honestly didn’t hurt, and the pain relief is such a blessing. Whenever I experience the intense pain of a toothache, or an earache, etc. I gain new pounds of compassion (see, my extra pounds are just compassion pounds) for people who live with unending pain every single day. I can’t imagine trying to go about your business when your intense pain is constantly screaming at you.
While I was in the waiting room of the endodontist, I got to talking to an older woman who was sitting near to me. She told me not to worry. She’s done fine with all of her root canals. However, what was really tough for this woman is that she had just survived, in her own words, a “heartbreak heart attack.” She suffered a heart attack right after her beloved dog of thirteen years died in her arms. She assured me that “heartbreak heart attacks” are a real thing. She didn’t have to convince me. Those of us who love hard and deep, have vulnerable hearts.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
I can’t write much this morning. I have to go see about a tooth. It appears that there is a root canal in my future. (sigh) If my writing appears erratic this week, know that it is because I am either in horrific pain, or I am extraordinarily loopy on pain drugs. Could be interesting . . . . I hope that your week is starting out better than mine.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Good morning. Welcome to Poetry Day on the blog. Last night was excruciating for me. I woke up with a ferocious toothache that was insistent that I stay awake and miserable for the entirety of the night. The toothache made it perfectly clear that it had no plans to allow me to get any real sleep. I’ve been ignoring the flashing, yellow caution light that’s been quietly, yet pointedly announcing itself, all this week, on the left hand side of my mouth, with my pie-in-the-sky hopes that maybe it would “just go away.” Ha! The chicken has come home to roost, and she is one mad hen.
When you are experiencing a lot of pain, you try to look for the bright sides, such as the fact that at least Advil and Orajel exist. You think back to what it would have looked like to have had one of these horrific toothaches in the middle ages. You remind yourself about just how much worse it could be, even as the dull, yet sharp ache bangs and bangs and bangs, making the entire side of your face feel like its getting heartily beaten up, by a determined amateur boxer, in the inside of your mouth.
I think that this poet describes a toothache perfectly. Who knew that you could turn a toothache into poetry? It goes to show, everything can be poetry.
Yesterday I sent flowers to a loved one who has been through hell these last couple of months. I called a florist whom I do not know, in a state where I do not live, and I explained the nightmare our loved one has gone through with her health. I asked the florist to create something cheerful, bright and really special. He said to me confidently, “Don’t worry. I got you.”
And that fabulous florist delivered handsomely. Yes, those are even bananas in the arrangement!! Bananas! Our loved one is thrilled with the flowers, and I am thrilled with this florist. I absolutely adore people who are intimately involved and prideful and passionate about their work. It always shows. When people do what they love, the results are amazing. The love shines through.
On the topic of flowers, my friend told me about an organization in our town that delivers recycled flowers (or unsold flowers donated by our local grocery chain) to people in hospitals and care homes all over the country. Another friend of mine, who is downsizing, just donated a plethora of vases to this wonderful organization. As I did an online search, it turns out there are quite a few of these wonderful entities that do this lovely service for their communities. Below are three of them. They all need volunteers to make the arrangements, and to deliver the arrangements and they also happily accept donations such as the vases my friend just gave to them.
There is a garden of good in this world. And it is flowering with people who make a difference in the lives of others. The love shines through.
