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Inside You

I was reminded of this proverb shown above, this morning while perusing the internet. What are you letting inside that doesn’t deserve a welcome mat? Another proverb says, “Wherever you go, there you are.” So even if you are Oprah Winfrey, Jeff Bezos or Taylor Swift, and you have homes and planes and yachts all over the place, at your immediate disposal, you can only be in one place, at any one time . . . . your own body, which houses your restless mind.

Dr. Nicole LePera recently posted this on X: “If your home is a place of peace, you’ve broken the cycle.”

Is your home a place of peace? I’m not talking about your bricks and mortar home. I’m talking about inside of you. Your body and your mind is your true home.

What is a peaceful place? A peaceful place is one of security, comfort, acceptance, and easy-going, light flowing energy. In a peaceful place you don’t expect to have to walk on eggshells, nor pretend to be someone or something that you are not. You don’t feel tension or trepidation in peaceful places. You don’t feel judged or condemned in peaceful places. Rarely do you feel the need to escape from peaceful places. Peaceful places tend to be our ultimate sanctuaries. Peaceful places make us feel like everything is alright.

Is your body/mind a peaceful place to be? Because if it isn’t, there’s nowhere else to go. You can try to escape it with mind-numbing activities and addictions, but you are still there. Even if it feels like you’ve escaped it for a moment, you are still there.

What if your soul/spirit/highest form of yourself was the keeper and captain of your mind/body? And all that your soul/spirit/highest form of yourself wanted, was for your mind/body to be a place of peace? What would be needed to keep your mind/body a sanctuary of peace? Who/what would be invited in, and who/what would be kept out? What thoughts and actions would become rituals to keep your mind/body peaceful? What thoughts and actions would be shown the door?

What if you were able to walk through life, shielded by the beautiful energy of your own place of peace, in every single moment, no matter where you happened to be? What if the waves and storms outside of you, try as they may, could not “rock the boat” of peace inside of you?

Ultimately, anything that we want outside of ourselves, is because of the feelings that we believe that these things will bring inside of ourselves. What if that thinking is all backwards? What if those feelings are available to us, right now, inside the quiet, peaceful sanctuaries of our own hearts? What if all of what we have brought in from “the outside” is drowning and overwhelming us, like a ship taking in too much water from the ocean around it? Is it possible that a simple, peaceful sanctuary of observance and curiosity, has been inside of us all along, but it has been overtaken by too many outside influences? Is it time to let “all that stuff” that doesn’t serve, drain out?

Ultimately a ship at sea, leaves for its voyage, with the captain knowing that there will be all sorts of weather, and unforeseen adventures along the way, but the ultimate goal is to arrive at its destination, with all of the cargo and crew, safe and intact. A ship at sea, has a good captain, who follows the inner navigation system closely, so that even when all that can be seen is ocean and sky, the captain of the ship, intimately and deeply understands that the destination will be seen on the horizon one day. In the meantime, the captain’s goal is to keep the ship afloat as a dry, safe sanctuary of peace, as it carries on with its journey through the vastness surrounding it.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

2283. Are you a good singer? (It really doesn’t matter. Just sing.)

Tuesday’s Tidbits

+ If you are around my age (53) and you miss your grandparents, check out this 94-year-old “granfluencer”, Grandma Droniak. In her own words, she “slays.” https://www.tiktok.com/@grandma_droniak?lang=en And if you don’t like her outfit for the day, you can leave. (again, her words)

+ I can’t believe that I haven’t seen Inside Out 2 yet. I adored the first movie. My daughter and I have watched it together several times (and cried every time we watched it). Anyway, this chart is an excellent way to get a better idea of how to name the feeling or feelings which you are feeling. With the unofficial start to fall in my household, I am feeling a mix of ecstacy, melancholy and intrigue. (and perhaps even a little bit of surprise).

+ We’ve had a lot going on the past week or so, and so I told my husband that this weekend’s plan is taken directly from a Spanish proverb:

“How beautiful it is to do nothing, and then rest afterward.”

+ And another great chart is below that I saw on LinkedIn. I like this comment about the chart by Sam Young (It has a “Dad joke” feel to it): “In the end, it all comes down to the human sole. Everyone needs just a little bit of heeling..”

+ I read something yesterday about the fact that as exciting as it is to watch the Olympic athletes, the performers and the presenters, the Olympics would not happen if a million different “little people” both employed and volunteers (cooks, traffic planners, towel changers, medal organizers, ticket box workers, construction workers, camera crews, launderers etc.) didn’t do their jobs properly. We are all part of the ant colony, friends and every job matters. The show does not go on when all of the pieces aren’t in play. You matter. So does everyone else.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

2719. What do you love most about where you live right now?

Monday – Funday

credit: @woofknight, X

The Olympics closing ceremony was yesterday. Weren’t the Olympics great this year? The little ones start back to school today, in our neck of the woods. I heard the school busses making their rounds. We picked up our daughter at the airport last night, who flew in after her study abroad experience that she had this summer in Europe, and she already headed back to her university this morning, for sorority rush events. Our visiting adult kids left yesterday to go back to their own lives and schedules and I . . . . am exhaling.

Despite knowing that we have at least a couple more months of hot and sticky summer weather to endure, from a lifetime of living by the rhythm of school schedules, it definitely feels like I have yet another summer underneath my belt. I have experienced 53 summers in my lifetime. You enter into every summer with excitement and anticipation for plans of fun and leisure and relaxation and reunions and vacations and casual celebrations, and then it kind of takes you by surprise when seemingly all of the sudden, summer’s over. We had been planning my daughter’s summer in London for a long time. Everything went without a hitch. I am so grateful. I’m so relieved. And I am so happy to have her back in our country. And I honestly can’t believe that this long anticipated experience is now just a lovely memory in the past.

Someone once told me that aging is like a toilet roll. “The closer you get to the end,” he chuckled, “the faster it goes.” I thought that this was hilarious when I first heard it (when I was a bit younger). Now, I’m just aghast at the truth of it.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

2473. What new memories do you want to make?

Soul Sunday

Good morning. Welcome to poetry day on the blog. This past week our middle son and his longtime girlfriend and our granddog, Otis have been visiting, which means we have gotten even more bonus visits with our youngest son and his girlfriend, who live in our town. We are picking up our daughter tonight from her summer away, where she was studying abroad. I can’t wait to bring her home. My heart is full. I’m happy that we are a “place” which our adult children still want to come to restore themselves. I found this poem in a blog that suggested that we all could change our own personal stanzas to this poem which so aptly says, “I am from those moments.”

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

2179. Which part of democracy do you not agree with?

Powerful

“You have no idea how long something you say can stay in someone’s mind.” – Scarlett Leithold

This is so true, isn’t it? What swirls around in your mind (good and bad) from things that were said to you days ago, weeks ago, even decades ago? As someone who is blunt and emotional and who doesn’t always weigh her words as carefully as I should, I pray that it is mostly the good things that I have said bluntly and emotionally, that are swirling around in my people’s heads.

Words are powerful. When I learned how to drive, my dad would say that he is handing me a loaded weapon, when he handed me the car keys. Words are so often used as weapons. We walk around with the ability to brandish these weapons, instantly, at any moment. And they can be weapons that act like shrapnel from bullets, which can’t ever be completely removed from someone’s emotional body.

At the same time, words can be healers. Words can inspire and give hope and help to find meaning in what sometimes seems meaningless. No matter how they are used, words are powerful.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

2501. What do you like to do at the park?

Fuggy Friday

“Fuggy” is a word. Look it up. Fuggy is just like muggy, but with an “F”. I just learned the word “fuggy”, myself, a few moments ago, when I looked up synonyms for “humid.” Above is one of my favorite people whom I follow on X. He is a comedian named “OMGITSWICKS” and he makes fun of Florida, like only a true, “born and raised” Floridian can do. He recently said that we Floridians consider tropical storms to be just “rain with a name.” And, he’s right.

Before I get to my main favorite for today on, Favorite Things Friday, I want to write down what I have been pondering lately. If you look at any of my all-over-the-map musical playlists, the accounts which I follow on X (people on the left, people on the right, witches, artists, buddhists, Christians, therapists, actors, mystics and a gay furry) and my eclectic array of unusual collections all over my house and yard, you might question my sanity. For those of you who follow astrology, I am a Sagittarius sun sign, with Gemini rising. That helps to make sense of me, right? I’m an adventurer. I’m insanely curious. I love anyone who makes me laugh. I’m open-minded, and I am open to changing my mind. I believe that I have my own personal politics, and my own personal religion (more like spirituality.) I am hopeful and optimistic. I love to read and to learn. To me there is nothing better on this earth (besides my family) than animals and nature. I have friends in every category imaginable. I abhor snobbery. I think that it’s incredibly limiting. I am willing to make an effort to like anyone until I see them treat others badly. If you are manipulative, disdainful, deceitful, mean, cruel, disrespectful, bullying etc. to others, that’s when my walls go way, way up. Otherwise, your beliefs are your beliefs. I respect your right to your beliefs, to your interests, to your passions, to living your life as you see fit, as long as you do not cause pain to others. And all that I expect from you, is that you extend that same respect for me. (my sister-in-law used to say that you can generate the Ten Commandments all down to one commandment: “Don’t be a dick.”) Why have I been pondering this? I think that it’s because with all of the divisive politics and horrible wars going on, and the cancel culture running rampant, and things going on with some personal relationships in my life, I needed to ask myself, “What do I stand for?” And the conclusion that I came up with is that ultimately, I stand for kindness, and I stand for freedom. I stand for the golden rule. And in my life, I have witnessed so many different people, from so many different backgrounds, races, religions, sexual preferences, political parties, etc., ultimately stand for the same things. Kindness. Freedom. These people do unto others as they would have done to them. I suppose, ultimately and optimistically and hopefully, I believe that most of us strive for, and stand for “Love” in its highest, most unconditional form.

Okay, off of my soapbox: Here’s today’s favorite: Invisible Glass Glass Cleaner The back of our house is almost entirely sliding glass doors and we have three dogs. Nose prints. Nose prints. Nose prints. Cleaning glass is the bane of my existence. This is the first glass cleaner that has “streak-free” written on it’s can, and actually is streak-free. I purchased this recently on Amazon and it has quickly become my new holy grail of glass cleaners.

Have a great weekend, friends. Thanks for taking a little trip inside of my head. I think that’s really what this blog is for me, “a head trip” and mostly, “a heart trip.”

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

2785. What instantly melts your heart?

The Little Blue Heron

I just took the dogs out and the little blue heron was sitting out there waiting for us. He comes to our backyard often, picking various perches to look for food. The little blue heron is never excited to see the dogs. He stubbornly holds his position until the last minute that one of them almost reaches him, and then he flies off, loudly squawking his disapproval and disgust. I smile to myself every time I see him. My husband always says that the little blue heron is his dad paying us a visit.

My husband’s father passed away when my husband had just turned 30. We received one of those awful “middle of the night calls” (the kinds of sickening calls that you wish were only true in movies) with the news that my father-in-law had passed from a sudden heart attack. He was 59.

My father-in-law was a complicated man. My husband had a complicated relationship with him. But my husband was his only son of five children, and I never doubted my father-in-law’s love and pride for his son. When my husband was earning his MBA from a prestigious, challenging university during night school, while supporting our family of me and our two young sons with his day job, my father-in-law sent a regular stream of handwritten letters and newspaper clippings, as a form of pride and cheerleading and support.

My husband and our two middle sons took off from work/school today, to go fishing together. I just waved them off, feeling their excitement and anticipation reverberating in my own heart. My husband often fished with his own father when he was a boy. Maybe when the little blue heron flew off just now, he was heading out to sea. Maybe the little blue heron has “a boy with his own boys” to look after today. Perhaps they need the little blue heron’s pride and cheerleading and support.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

379. Who knows you better than anyone else?

Living the Dream

I’m annoyed with myself, and with all of last night’s events. I went to bed early to read myself to sleep and thus, I missed watching one of the most feel-good stories of the Olympics with my husband: The outcome of the Men’s 1500m Race. I was woken up several times in the night, once with my husband coming to bed, giddy about what he had just witnessed in Olympics history, then around 12:30 a.m. when I heard a door opening and shutting in my house (my middle son had been at our youngest son’s apartment helping him put together a 1000 piece bedroom dresser, and then decided to come back here – thankfully he texted me that the mystery door noise was him, and not an intruder. My husband slept through that disturbance.) And then, around 4 a.m. our collie, Josie, started panting and pacing, and so I put on my grumpy pants, and I took her out into the humid darkness to do her thing. (My husband and my son slept through that wake-up call, as well.) Why do we mothers hear all of the noises and distress calls of the night? Is it primal from the days when we were waking up with our babies on the hour? I’ve retired from raising children. Shouldn’t my internal alarm system be set to “off”, now? Sigh. Enough rant, back to the feel-good story:

For the first time in 112 years, two American men were on the podium for the 1500m race. This was entirely unexpected. The favorite runners to win were a Norwegian and a Brit who had apparently been trash talking each other all week. Cole Hocker, an American runner from Indiana won the gold medal and broke an Olympic record, and his teammate, Yared Nuguse from Kentucky won the bronze. (Britain’s Josh Kerr came in second.) I watched a few interviews with the young American men/medalists, and both talked about how it was actually good to be “under the radar”. They believed that they were every bit as good as the other lauded runners, and they stated that this belief in themselves is vital because long distance running is largely a mental game. According to these athletes, if you are at your physical peak, the hardest part of it all, is the mental game. Yared stated that towards the end of the race, he just repeats to himself, “Stick with it. Stick with it.”

Yared Nuguse is a first generation American. His parents were political refugees from Ethiopia and became American citizens in the 1980s. As I was lapping up all of the background stories on these runners, I ended up on a runners’ site on Reddit. This exchanged really moved me:

Did any other immigrants to the USA get emotional when the camera flashed to Nuguse parents crying? Maybe it was just me, but I felt immigrant tears of joy…it probably took A LOT to get to the USA, and now to win a medal for this country…only other immigrants would understand the depth of their tears… (tcumber)

I’ve been following Nuguse since his NCAA years. Extremely happy for him (and Cole). It would have been one thing to win an Olympic bronze in a slow race because of some fluke, but to PB in a race that sets the Olympic record shows he left it all on the track. He’s already one of the top 5 milers of all time, but he’s now also the 9th fastest 1500m runner all time, and looks like he could go faster. (DomDeLaweeze)

He made our entire ethiopian household proud. My mom choked up when they panned to his mom. (Besk123)

Yes!..because your mom is probably intimately aware of the struggle and sacrifice to get here, and to see what can happen in this country with just ONE GENERATION.

THIS is the American Dream we all came for, and are willing to work so hard to attain…a better life not only for ourselves, but for our families.

I shed happy tears with them because I understood…many of us understand. It is more than winning a bronze medal. It is understanding where they started, how hard they all worked, and where they are all now….in Paris…at the Olympics…watching their son do so well. He could have finished last…there is still pride that he got there and did his best…but he won a bronze.. Oh my….

Sigh…someone just cut some onions beside me….(tcumber)

When I read that, I must have been cutting onions. I write this with a lump in my throat. With all of the negative, divisive political hoopla swirling around us these days, we must remember what really makes us great. We are a nation of Native Americans, who are only just recently getting the recognition which they wholly deserve for their reverence and caretaking of our beautiful land for generations and generations, and then of waves and waves of immigrants (some brought here against their will during the horrible scourge of slavery). Regardless of our beginnings, all of us here have been chasing the American Dream in one form or another, and attaining it, again and again and again. . . . . . My belief is that the best of us Americans, in this vast country, understand this incredible, vast, realizable potential for ourselves, and for our fellow citizens. The best of us fly under the radar, but continue to make sure that the American Dream continues to flourish. The majority of Americans know that it is a mental game to live a Dream. The majority of Americans, all persevere in our lives and in our beliefs, knowing that the key to realizing the Dream is to “Stick with it. Stick with it. Stick with it . . . .”

Stick with it.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

407. Has anyone ever approached you thinking you were someone else?

Start Over

I read this the other day. I haven’t read something so true and comforting for a long time. Whatever goal you have, you are not having to start over, you are just getting back on track. And you are getting back on track with a backpack full of the good stuff: knowledge, strength and power, all which comes from the various experiences that have gotten you to where you are today. If we were really going back to square one, we would be helpless babies, each with a totally blank slate. Frankly, going back to that actual square one, sounds utterly exhausting and terrifying.

Remind yourself that your path has been a good one, even if you have meandered off of the direct route, and have gotten yourself caught in some brambles for a little bit. You will get “rerouted” and you will have taken in some interesting sights along the way. Your inner compass will always guide you back to your own true north.

“New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings.” – Lao Tzu

“Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.” – Carl Brand

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

2630. What is your favorite actor beginning with the letter K? (Easy, peasy . . . think John Wick)

Monday – Funday

Hi all. We’re fine here, just lots of rain and intermittent random power outages. It’s a soggy Monday in these parts. Here are two fun activities I discovered over the weekend. First, Google “cat” and then on the right side of the screen, by the word cat, you will see an orangish paw print. Click on it and then click again all over your screen. Cute, right? When you quickly bore of that bit of fun, try this: look up various “Octopus eyebrows” tutorials. Are things getting a little stale on your face? Is it time for a new look? Want a distraction from wrinkles? Octopus eyebrows. Google it. It’s a thing.

Yesterday, I watched Melinda French Gates interview Oprah Winfrey and Gayle King about their incredible lifelong friendship. Melinda is doing these interviews with various public figures, because she herself is turning “60” and she wants inspiration from other women who are around this middle stage in life. Oprah said that Maya Angelou told her that the 50s are a time when you become who you were meant to be. Oprah says if you don’t feel like you are there yet, you should listen carefully to the whispers of your heart. What’s whispering to you?

Author Heather Havrilesky claims in a recent column, that one of her older mentors told her as she turned 50 that she is entering “the most luminous time of her life.” If you are not feeling illuminated, listen closer to your whispers. It is time to allow yourself to fully become who you were meant to be.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

2574. What is your favorite style of architecture?