Our long-term dentist (Dr. C) called me over the weekend. He told me that he is retiring and he has sold his practice to a younger man, whom he feels really good about taking over his practice. Dr. C will continue to consult the new, younger dentist, when asked, but at the age of 66, Dr. C is ready to retire from dentistry. Dr. C asked me to come to his office to have a meeting today with him, to meet the new dentist, and to have any questions answered. Dr. C emphasized that his current, loyal staff (an entire staff whom Dr. C once paid to take on a group trip to Italy) plan to stay on board, which was of vital importance to him. Without a doubt, I am going to the meeting.
My husband and I first met Dr. C in a meeting much like this, about a decade ago, when our former dentist, retired quickly and quietly, as he sold his practice to a private equity firm, much to the surprise of his patients and to his loyal staff. We still had all four kids at home and we felt “left in a lurch” as we searched for a new dentist, in a time when all four of our kids (some still in braces), all still needed to have their wisdom teeth removed. Dr. C required meetings with any new patients coming into his practice, so that he could describe his qualifications, his philosophy, and to answer any questions about his practice. We found this to be unique and maybe even a little curious, but when we sat down with him, we instantly felt impressed and in good hands. Nothing changed about that throughout the years. Dr. C was sort of a “dentistry geek”, always staying up with the latest technology, and happy to show off how his new “gizmos” worked, to anyone who asked. For years, he implored me to get a mouth guard to sleep with at night, insisting that it is teeth grinders like me, breaking teeth like glass, who really keep him in business. And in truthfulness, for a long time, my stubbornness and my refusal to try a mouth guard, I’m pretty sure helped Dr. C buy one or two more gizmos for his practice. And yet, true to his advice, when I finally relented on wearing a mouth guard at night, I have not broken any teeth since. Still, Dr. C never chided me nor shamed me about this. He was never one to force any treatment on his patients, insisting that our bodies were our own business, and we knew best what was right for ourselves. He explained that he was only our trusted, educated advisor. Dr. C treated all our family’s mouths, until each kid grew up and moved to different areas, and now my husband and I are the only two patients left. A family of six brought a lot of business to his practice, but yet, Dr. C still reached out to me this weekend, as a courtesy and a kindness he was extending to all of his longterm patients, and to the new dentist, to make this transition easier for all.
What a complete difference between two dentists, who were undeniably good at their trade, but took two entirely different approaches to retiring, and to leaving their legacies behind! Dr. C has been hinting at retiring for years now. I had long accepted that we did not have another decade of treatments from him. He brought into his practice, a young woman who had recently graduated from dentistry school and spent years, training her and mentoring her with the idea that she would purchase his practice from him, when the time was right for all. His patients and his staff were well aware of this. However, life happens. His protégé got married and started a family and realized that owning and running a busy dentistry practice was not going to work in keeping the balanced life which she was envisioning. Our dentist completely understood this, as a father himself, and so he searched carefully for another competent buyer of his practice.
In contrast, our original dentist had been completely mum on the subject of retirement, so I was as shocked as his staff was, when all of the sudden their practice became part of a nationwide “chain”. Not suprisingly, when the dentist left, the practice fell apart, the staff scattered, and the old dentist office is currently a tax preparation storefront.
When we think of legacy, we often conjure up the statues, and the names on buildings, and the scholarships given by “important” people. But anyone’s true legacy, is not how strangers will “remember” you from a few trinkets (big or small) left behind, but how the people you knew in your daily life will remember you. How you treat living your life, and the people in it, is your true legacy. People feel kindness. People notice and respect integrity and competence. People who live well, inspire others to do the same. In the 1997 movie As Good As It Gets, Jack Nicholson’s character famously tells his love interest, “You make me want to be a better man.” Someone who leaves a great legacy, makes us all want to be better people. Dr. C is not just leaving his practice in the hands of a new dentist. He is leaving his legacy to this dentist. These are very big shoes to fill. Still, I have no doubt, that with the great consideration Dr. C has given to his practice, to his staff and to his patients, he has chosen a solid successor. Without even meeting the new dentist, I am already certain that Dr. C has chosen a replacement to take over his practice, who is inspired to be even better, thanks to Dr. C’s admirable legacy.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.