So many of our friends and contemporaries are now contemplating retirement and what that will look like. It comes up as a topic of discussion more than it ever has before. When we talk about it with each other, it is always with excitement and anticipation, and with relatively high expectations of smooth sailing, so I was surprised to read an article the other day that suggested that retirement statistically is a time when people report higher levels of depression than any other times in their lives. Supposedly, the highest chance of developing depression during retirement happens right when you first retire, and then another statistically high incidence of depression in retirement tends to occur after the 1-3 year honeymoon period of retirement is over.
The article cited the best ways to overcome these lost, lonely, sad feelings. First, it is important to still create some sort of reliable structure of your days. Next, keep regular (not sporadic) human contact, such as attending weekly club meetings or luncheons. Also, it is important to find some sort of broadly defined sense of purpose (some people help take care of their grandchildren and/or find an area of volunteering that marries their interests and expertise) and finally, be honest and open about your feelings and struggles about the changes retirement has brought to your life with trusted others. (The article stated that this seems to be particularly hard for a lot of men to do, but it is painful and sometimes even dangerous to struggle alone.) People tend to feel shock, shame and embarrassment when they experience depression in a time that they thought would be one of the happiest times of their lives. It helps to talk it out and realize you are not alone in your feelings.
As my regular readers know, I use Adulting – Second Half as a depository of thoughts, reflections and helpful information (mostly for myself, but it makes me happy that others also find it to be a helpful resource). Since my main job in my adult life was to run our household and to raise our four children, as we take our only daughter, and our youngest child and last to leave the nest, to her new home state next week, it occurred to me that I have finally reached my full retirement. I’ve been “easing” into retirement since our daughter left for college four years ago, but my retirement truly and fully starts for me, next month. As I am swirling in mixed emotions right now, I believe that I have my expectations in place. As it is often said about so many things these days, “It’s a process . . . .”
“Retirement is not the end of the road. It is the beginning of the open highway.” – Unknown
“Don’t simply retire from something; have something to retire to.” – Henry Emerson Fosdick
“The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.” – Abe Lemons
“There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want.” – Bill Watterson
“Don’t act your age in retirement. Act like the inner young person you always have been.” – J. A. West
“My retirement plan is to get thrown into a minimum security prison in Hawaii.” – Julius Sharpe
“Retirement is wonderful. It’s doing nothing without worrying about getting caught.” – Gene Perret
“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.” – Seneca
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.