My friends and I often laugh ruefully about the fact that no one ever warns you about the fact that motherhood (and fatherhood) is a lifetime gig, with no off-ramp. You go into it kind of like “oh, I really want to raise a baby, I really want to raise a family” with a whole lot of mysterious help from your hormones and instincts, and really, little else to go on . . . . Starting a family is mostly a deep, natural yearning of sorts, for so many of us. You realize that embarking on raising a family, is more serious and complicated than adopting a puppy, but no one person, nor any book, nor anything else, ever fully prepares you for the monumental feelings, and responsibility and vulnerability which you will inevitably feel for the rest of the entirety of your whole life.
Last night, as we were headed to bed, our youngest son texts that he was headed to do his first open mic at a comedy club. This is the first I had heard of actual, concrete plans for him to do this. He also mentioned that he was a little concerned because everyone else there had notebooks full of material. Our youngest son is truly really funny, and yet also, he is probably our most sensitive, emotional child, and he also has epileptic seizures that are most often triggered by stress. While simultaneously sending excited, supportive texts to him, my own stress levels started skyrocketing with this information, and as I was attempting calming breathing exercises, a few minutes later, our daughter (who now lives in a whole different time zone from us) called to tell us that she had been rear-ended and was on the side of the highway with the other driver, who was refusing to share her insurance information.
As we are currently having an eventful family year, that includes two of our children’s weddings and a college graduation, my husband and I naively dubbed this month to be “Absolutely All About Us August“. We figured that we would keep plans light this month, to take a beat and completely hit the reset button, until the second wedding festivities come upon us next month (did I mention that this second wedding is in an entirely different country?). How does the saying go – “when you make plans, God laughs”?!?
All ended well. Our daughter and the other driver were not hurt, there was little to no damage to the cars, and they managed to eventually exchange information with a little help from 911. Our son liked the open mic experience so well, he plans to do it again tonight. Our nerves shot, it took my husband and I a little while to fall to sleep last night, and when I woke up, I remembered that I had dreamt that I was let go by a mass shooter. I guess that this was my brain’s dramatic way to say, “you dodged a bullet, lady.” I did. And (as always) I thanked God continually for keeping my (adult) children protected from others (and from themselves). And mostly (as always), I thanked God for my children, to love for the rest of my life.
“Love is staying up all night with a sick child — or a healthy adult.” — David Frost
“You will always be your child’s favorite toy.” — Vicki Lansk
“I will pray over and for you as long as there is breath in my body… I will be your biggest fan forever and always.” – Unknown
“There really are places in the heart you don’t even know exist until you love a child.” — Anne Lamott
“Before I got married I had six theories about raising children; now, I have six children and no theories.” — John Wilmot
“What it’s like to be a parent: It’s one of the hardest things you’ll ever do but in exchange it teaches you the meaning of unconditional love.” — Nicholas Sparks
“Parenting without a sense of humor is like being an accountant who sucks at math.” — Amber Dusick
“You must first teach a child he is loved. Only then is he ready to learn everything else.” — Amanda Morgan
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.