Tag: middle age

Adventure Time

I listened to an interesting podcast the other day when a counselor was saying that people often come to her with concerns and anxieties about their milestone birthdays. Her clients often seem to feel really upset if they think that a milestone birthday is nearing, and they haven’t completed the proverbial, rigid checklist of things that they feel they should have accomplished by such-and-such milestone. Her clients often seem to feel anxious about fitting it all in, into a neat little package with a pretty bow. The counselor said that she reminds her clients that these are silly, undue pressures which we put on ourselves with arbitrary/one-size-fits all dates and goal posts. While it is good to have goals, it is also good to be flexible about our goals, and to allow for our own individuality, and for unforeseen detours. Also, she said that if you have a milestone birthday coming up, say in the next three years, remind yourself about just how much life happens in a small span of three years. You have a lot of time in between milestone birthdays to live and to experience life. If you feel like your life isn’t going anywhere, and you are stuck, start at March of 2020 when the pandemic shutdown happened and think of all of what has happened in your own life from that moment, until now. Write down all of the happenings, the new relationships that came along, the job situations, events celebrated and experienced with loved ones, the day trips and the vacations, the ups and the downs, the changes in the structure of your daily life, etc. – all of that happened in only about three and a half years. And remember, not one of us could have planned for a pandemic to happen exactly when and how it did, and nor for the ramifications of that pandemic. Even with all of the slowdowns and haltings that this pandemic created, look at all of the life that you have lived in just three years! In between milestone birthdays is a period of ten years. A lot of life is packed in-between milestone birthdays. In short, the counselor was saying that it is best to view our milestone birthdays as just passing mile markers along the way (mile markers we were lucky to arrive to, still alive and vital and raring to go). And when we feel we aren’t accomplishing everything that we wanted to accomplish by a certain time period, it is helpful to look back and to remind ourselves about just how much we have accomplished and handled and experienced in a relatively short amount of time. When we do this, we can look forward into our futures knowing that this multitude of life’s happenings will continue on and on and on, until it is time for our ending day. While our time on earth is limited and we will probably not get to everything that we’d like to experience, what truly counts is the daily journey. Isn’t it better to be relaxed, and to be hopeful, and to be faithful, and to enjoy the ride as we move on down the roads of our own individual journeys, enjoying the travel, and the people, and the scenery along the way, instead of spending our time worrying and hand wringing about what life will look like at milepost 40, 50, 60, 70 or 80?? As Maya Angelou said, “Life is pure adventure.” And adventures are set in their own time and in their own ways, with lots of surprises and unexpected curveballs. The Cambridge dictionary defines adventure in this way: “an unusual, exciting, and possibly dangerous activity, trip, or experience, or the excitement produced by such activities.” I didn’t see anything in there about specific activities and timelines and accomplishments, did you?

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Monday – Funday

credit: @wiseconnector, X

I think that a big part of this statement is that as you get older, your good people picker is better honed. And your BS meter is highly tuned. You understand that time is more limited than you ever realized and so that time is best served in the realm of goodness. And fortunately good people are everywhere. You can surround yourself with some really good gems!

If you are still doing some weeding out for what exactly constitutes “good for your soul” in your overall life, spend some time on what standards you have for yourself in all facets of your life. (standards = your boundaries) Today is the new moon. We are getting really close to the new year, and we aren’t quite overwhelmed with the holiday-hoopla yet, so we have some time for some deep, truthful contemplation. Use this time to think about keeping your standards, versus disappointing yourself with unrealized expectations.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Soul Sunday

I’m sorry for being delayed in writing today. We got reunited this year with dear friends from our younger years, when they recently moved closer to us, here in Florida. We just had such a fun visit with them. Both of our families were part of a big group of families from the same neighborhood, when our children were younger. We share so many lovely past memories of raising our children together, and we feel delighted to get to make some new “empty nester” memories now. I don’t have a poem of my own today, but I think that this is a wonderful, relatable one to share:

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Make Your Bed, Friday

Happy Friday!! Happy Favorite Things Friday!!! Josie, our collie, “helps” me to make our bed every morning. She has this innate sense when I am doing it (there’s no set time – I’m all over the map in the mornings) and she considers it her sacred duty to rush into our room in order to help me to complete this task. It is a big bonding time for us (without her male counterparts). I don’t know what I would ever do without her help (and this has nothing to do with making the bed). Dogs will always be one of my ALL TIME FAVORITES.

My favorite item for this particular Friday is the Bamboo Trading Company beaded club bags. These lovely pieces of art are reasonably priced, they come in an enormous variety of styles and themes, and they are the perfect sized, crossbody bags to carry your phone, keys and wallet for a day of walking around town, without breaking your back. For the attention to detail, and the massive variety available, these bags are reasonably priced and addicting to collect. And you feel good about purchasing these items because this is the Bamboo Trading Company’s mission: “We work with communities around the world to lift families out of poverty. In the process we create on-trend, affordable fashion that is collectible, fun, and inspiring.”

You can buy your own Bamboo Trading Company beaded bag (or 12) at their website, on Amazon, and you can find them at many smaller gift shops around the States.

Club Bag Collection

Have a wonderful weekend, my loyal friends and devoted readers! See you tomorrow!!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Splatter

Yesterday, was my “get splattered” day. It started out with our refrigerator breaking and ended up with me supporting and soothing some big highs and lows from some of the people whom I love the most in my life. I call it the “get splattered” day because I also literally did get splattered in my art class.

One of the fellow students, who is particularly creative and enthusiastic decided that her artwork needed some “splattering” and so she loaded up her paintbrush with dark green ink and then she swung the brush back, thus inadvertently splattering my artwork as well as hers. Honestly, I wasn’t upset about this. She was apologetic and it helped that I wasn’t particularly excited about this particular painting which I was working on. (On an aside, it is so fascinating to me to notice that all of us students are handed the exact same picture of a fall tree as our template, and to see the many, many different interpretations of the same picture come from this one prompt. All of the interpretative paintings of the same fall tree were lovely in their own ways, and yet so unique and distinct from one another. Without looking at the duplicated template which all of us students used as our “model”, I doubt that you would believe that we all had the exact same original to “copy.” If you don’t believe in incredibly distinctive, individual perspectives and interpretations and nuances on anything and everything, take a painting class sometime. It is truly eye-opening, mind-opening and a big jolt to your own creativity.) But back to the “splattering” event – as I noted, my fellow student was immediately apologetic, and we actually got a big laugh out of the whole ordeal. I told her that my artwork had now become our “collab.” It made me remember a time when I was a kid and I accidentally dropped a snow cone on a poster that my babysitter was just finishing up for one of her school’s clubs. I distinctly remember that my babysitter didn’t see that particular incident as a fun, accidental collaboration. I remember keeping out of my babysitter’s hair for the rest of that day. The event clearly made a mark on me. I am still writing about it here today, in my fifties.

The real reason why I am spending so much time discussing “the splattering” event is that it makes an excellent analogy about how all of us inadvertently get splattered, all day long. We get splattered with news, and texts, and phone calls, and weather, and social media, and all of the various energy of all of the people whom we encounter all day long. Sometimes this splattering adds to our being, and it becomes a fun collaboration and growth moment for us, and other times this splattering just becomes muddling, messy and more of a destructive, icy snow cone spill, that just brings us down. Sometimes we have to become more protective of what we are allowing ourselves to be splattered with. Sometimes we need to sit with ourselves in our own private “studios” and clean some of the splattering off of ourselves, in order to get back to our own clean, clear slates.

I’m a spongy person. And I don’t say that proudly. It is something that I try to work on about myself, a lot. When I say that I am spongy, I mean that I tend to strongly sense and feel the moods and tones and the energy of the people around me, and the places that I am in, and then I have a tendency to soak it all in, and then I easily get overloaded. (I think this is a big reason why I love solitude and quiet places.) At the point when I feel overwhelmed, I get hypervigilant about “emotional monitoring” which isn’t a good thing. It drives other people crazy (because often my interpretations of why the energy is “off” can be wrong, and more importantly, it isn’t my job to fix or change anyone else’s moods for my own emotional comfort. When I emotionally monitor others, they can feel frustrated and smothered, and it actually blocks true intimacy between us because they start not wanting to trigger my anxiety with their problems.) When I get spongy, it depletes my own unprotected energy and I have little to give back to myself and to others. As I have said many times on the blog, you do not have to take on other people’s emotions in order to be empathetic. You can shield yourself from their splatter, but still admire their painting, and the subtle, interesting effects that the splatter has on the life of their evolving painting. If people ask for your input on their “splatter”, you can kindly give it to them, without soaking in their splatter, on to your own masterpiece. Your life’s painting is truly and uniquely your own to create and to evolve. Just as you honor your fellow creators’ right to their splatter choices, you get to decide how much splatter the masterpiece of your own life needs, and you alone get to decide what to create from that splatter.

******And here’s a fun, easy trick to dance off negative “splatter”. Just sing this song at the top of your lungs. The “splatter” just evaporates. Truly. Try it.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Ma’am, is Your Refrigerator Running?

There is nothing quite like waking up to a broken refrigerator. There is something special about buying from the local guys, though. Our local appliance shop were the only sellers who can get us a new one delivered tomorrow. I like to “Buy Local” when I can. We will truly miss our brick and mortars when they are no longer an option.

Interestingly, while picking out our new fridge, my husband and I both agreed, the simpler the better. The less doo-dads and the less gizmos the better. Our kids all wanted to know if we planned on getting the tricked out-model with a TV on the door, and with the ability to text with it throughout the day. No thank you. If the 1970s model came in a stainless steel instead of avocado paint coating, that is the one that I would purchase. Truly.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Country Road

“Without pattern and a mix of colors, this collection represents unpredictability. It represents the importance of differences. It represents hope. Our story is unwritten, but anything is possible with HOPE.” – enewton

Interestingly, on our latest trip last month, I purchased a lovely thin, purple beaded choker from the enewton jewelry collection. I put it on today, but I wanted to look up more about it, and see some of their other offerings, so I went to the enewton website just now. It turns out I had purchased a necklace from their HOPE Unwritten collection. See their explanation and inspiration for their HOPE Unwritten collection above. It is not lost on me that the quote which I had already chosen to springboard today’s writing (before looking up anything about my necklace) is printed on a lovely purple format. (This is what I mean when I tell you to look for the signs. Believe in them. Spirit communicates in many different languages, and in many different forms.)

The world needs hope in a big way, doesn’t it? And Lin Yutang has it right. We individually are not going to change the world, in an instant, but we can put our own footprints on to the path to healing and of hope. We can help to pave the way to a better way of living for everyone.

There is a lovely little chapel near to where I live, which sits on Hope Street (literally). A local woman had the chapel built as a shrine to Saint Michael, after her son miraculously survived an illness, which had put him into a coma. I’ve gone there a few times. It’s such a peaceful little spot and it never fails, every time that I’ve gone there I’ve seen license plates from all over the country in the tiny parking lot which sits next to the tiny, humble, but lovely chapel. This shrine has become a place of hope and peace and comfort for locals, as well as for travelers from near and far, for over eighty years.

We cannot solve the problems of the world in an instant. But we can create beautiful, new untravelled paths to love and to peace. We can be little shrines of hope to those around us, by being kind, and by being compassionate, and by believing that there are peaceful solutions to our world problems if we are willing to surrender our limited mindsets which say to us that we already know everything, or that things are futile because humanity is hopeless. This is just not the truth.

Today, even if it is just for the benefit of yourself, take steps towards hope. Pave your way to creating your own proverbial Hope Street, and stop by a little chapel in your own heart, and sink into that deep down knowing sense that everything is going to be alright. When you uplift yourself, you help to uplift our world. When you uplift yourself, you put your own footsteps on the road to Hope which we are all trying to pave together. Hope is your sacred duty. Hope is my sacred duty. Hope will lead the way.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Monday – Funday

Here’s a good reminder from Dwayne Johnson (“The Rock”) to start the week out:

“When you focus on you, you grow. When you focus on sh*t, sh*t grows.”

Let that sh*t go! I was at a little arts and crafts festival over the weekend, and I purchased this little rock from one of the vendors:

I thought that it was a rock crystal carved into the shape of a little cone-shaped shell. I told the woman selling it that I didn’t know why, but this little piece seemed to be calling to me (in retrospect, I am sure that she got a giggle out of my statement). Upon closer inspection when I got home, I saw this:

My “shell” has a face. I didn’t buy a shell. I purchased a rock crystal poop emoji. I still love it though. I think that I am going to use this little guy as a visual reminder to “Let that sh*t go!!” Rocks know what they are talking about. They’ve been around a long time.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Soul Sunday

Good morning. I hope that most of you got to enjoy another delicious hour of sleep. This morning I just read an uplifting story about a little boy who felt instantly connected to an unknown woman at a hometown stadium. He asked his parents if he could go talk to her, and they allowed him to, and the woman and the little boy sat together and laughed and talked as if they had known each other all of their lives. I had a similar experience this past week that I am still trying to wrap my head around. It was one of the most blessed experiences of my life and an answer to prayers. Look for the signs, friends. They are everywhere. Here is my poem for today:

“Adira”

Meeting you was surreal.

I recognized you the moment I walked into the room,

And you recognized me.

Although we have never met on this plane before.

Never have I felt so instantly connected and seen.

Never have I felt so united in Truth.

Never have I felt so instantly full of peace.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Miracles abound.

Your name means strong, noble and proud.

A feminine word for God.

You are your name. You exonify it.

But that is beside the point, isn’t it?

The point is, all of us are the nameless points of Light.

The nameless points of Light which forms All That Is.

All That Is Love. Love is all that is. Love is.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.