middle age Archives - Page 170 of 209 - Adulting: Second- Half

Everything’s Gonna Be Alright

Fortune for the day (getting this out of the way before I forget again) – However long the night, the dawn will break. (African Proverb)

So, as you can see, I’ve made it successfully through my new morning routine for a second day. Today, was not quite as smooth as yesterday. I took my dogs out early, into the dark, dark morning and I managed to step in a large plop of dog caca, while wearing my ginormous Ugg slippers (which are the most wonderful, durable, comfortable slippers in the world, btw). This occurred unbeknownst to me until I managed to walk around a fair portion of my home, spreading the love. So, I had to add mopping and disinfecting the tile floor to my new morning list, the “Must-do These Chores Before Doing Anything Else That Feels Remotely Fun/Interesting/Addicting, etc” list.

I met a new acquaintance the other day and she was asking me about my blog. I said that it is mostly aimed at connecting to/relating with, other middle-aged people, at my stage of life. I meant to say, “It is meant to be read mostly by soon-to-be empty nesters, finding their way to the next thing.” Instead, though, I made a Freudian slip and I called us, “empty nexters” and I thought, “Wow, that is actually the right term. We aren’t actually experiencing empty nesting, we are contemplating the empty – next-thing.” I like that terminology better. We middle-agers have vessels that have been quite full, sometimes over-flowing with responsibilities, duties and obligations. Now, those vessels are slowing seeping out to near empty, so that we can fill them up again, with our “next thing.” I love it!

I’m going to end this blog post with some lyrics to a wonderful country song that came over my iPod when I was taking my daughter to school today. My kids are very frustrated that I still use my old fashioned separate iPod (who’d ever think iPods would become old-fashioned so soon?!?), so my daughter informed me this morning that she changed some of the settings on my iPod, so at least, it would seem like I actually stream my music on Apple Music or Spotify. She said, “See, you like this song, and we haven’t heard it in forever.” She was right. Err, sometimes I hate it when the kids are right. Anyway, it was the perfect song to hear today, after my dog poo fiasco, and me cursing, under my breath, at the guy who blocked the intersection, only to find myself accidentally doing the exact same thing on the way home, during the crazy morning rush hour. So, that’s when I started my well-worn self-flagellation for judging others, and then I started worrying about friends who are unfortunately starting out their new year, in the hospital. Luckily my propensity for singing (and sometimes dancing) along with songs (particularly country songs), stopped my negative thought loop, in its tracks. I decided that this song was worth listening to, again and again, until I felt better and it worked. In fact, I am listening to it right now. Here are the lyrics to the chorus:

Everything’s gonna be alright
Everything’s gonna be alright
Nobody’s gotta worry ’bout nothing
Don’t go hitting that panic button
It ain’t near as bad as you think
Everything’s gonna be alright
Alright, alright

There ain’t no doubt it’s gonna work out
Come on, sing it with me
There ain’t no doubt it’s gonna work out
Come on and sing it with me

Everything’s gonna be alright

By David Lee Murphy and Kenny Chesney

Have a fantastic day, friends!! Everything’s gonna be alright!!

Just Shine

“Is your glass half empty or half full?” asked the mole.

“I think I’m grateful to have a glass,” said the boy.

From The Boy, the mole, the fox, and the Horse

This quote was brought to my mind, when my husband gave me an excellent article from the WSJ, written by Peggy Noonan to read. She talked about a conversation she was having with a great artist on New Year’s Eve. He was asking her if she was optimistic or pessimistic about the upcoming year. She answered this way:

“I will simply think I am here/I am here/I am lucky/I’m alive.”

It is my own spiritual beliefs, that life is mostly just meant to be a grand, awe-inspiring experience. I think that before we got on to this Earth plane, we were just tiny, little sparks of Creation, just begging to give real, tactile, sensual, emotional Life on Earth, a try. We were like shiny, beautiful droplets of Light, in a line full of other droplets of starlight, feeling very excited, very anticipatory, full of wonderment about what our turn on the roller coaster ride on Earth was going to be like. We were jumping up and down, saying, “Pick me! Pick me! Me, next, please! Please! Please!!” Back then, we intuitively understood that it was just going to be a thrill ride – a chance for us to really, fully and truly experience the larger wave of Creation, experiencing the Greatness and infinitely creative versions of Itself, here on Earth. The ride would have its ups and downs, of course. Some parts of it would be scary. Some parts would be exciting. Some parts of the thrilling ride experience would help to give us a better bird’s eye view and perspective of the overall Life experience. Overall though, back then, we knew that it was just a ride, a ride that would be over more quickly than we could ever imagine. Even if the ride was too thrilling, or too overwhelming, we knew, surely and faithfully, that this ride on Earth, would bring us back to a safe end of the adventurous experience, back into the arms of the bigger wave of Oneness, back with all of the other droplets of Love and Light, the ones who we intimately know and love and experience Oneness and wholeness with together. We didn’t have fear when we were just teeny, tiny beautiful droplets of Light (and Love). We only had excitement, and wonderment, and zest for the upcoming creative experience. But then, in our human form, we sometimes forget where we came from, and we take the life experience WAY too seriously. We forget that many, many tiny droplets of light, together, make up the most beautiful, powerful, clean light, shining from the sun, and the moon and the stars. We think that we are separate from the whole, and we grow dim with fear and worry and mistrust and trying to do it/fix it/be it, all alone, just by ourselves, forgetting that this is not possible nor necessary nor wise. Silly us! Perhaps if we could sit back more, and just enjoy the ride, enjoy the experience, be in total awe of what the Oneness of us has created, is creating, and will forever create, we could just let it all go and just shine . . . . .

Image result for particles of stardust quote

Soul Sunday

Sundays are a virtual coffee house, poetry workshop here at Adulting – Second Half. So grab a cup of whatever moves you, and let it flow. Your feelings, your words, your inspirations, whatever comes . . . . please feel comfortable (and excited!) to share your poems in the Comments section. I’m new to poetry, too. This is a no judgment zone. Here’s mine today:

Our Burrow

When all else fails to soothe me,

In your arms, late in the evening or early in the morning,

is my comfort, my peace, my sanctuary.

I want you to feel the current of my love,

Pulsating from something very deep inside the well-spring of my vitality,

Surrounding the form that makes the two of us only One.

One with Oneness, though seemingly quiet and vulnerable,

the robes of our daily defenses completely let down and put aside,

and yet, at this unruffled, untroubled, tranquil time,

We are at our most impenetrable, solid strength.

Our energies merged, the same energies that made our Love and

our loves . . . . our shared creations, experiences, our shared Life.

During these wordless moments with you,

Is when I know Love the most.

(Ooops! I already almost forgot the daily fortune. Here it is:

If one would move the world, one must move oneself. – Socrates)

First Friday

“After ecstasy, the laundry.” – Zen saying

Welcome to the first Favorite Things Friday of the new year and of the new decade!!!! This is the first time, in probably a whole decade, that I am saying to myself, “Wow, I can’t believe that it is Friday already.” The buzz that I have been hearing around with my friends and neighbors, has been a lot of “craving structure” and “getting back to a sense of normalcy.” That is one of my favorite gifts that we get every single year from the holiday season – a true appreciation of our normal, every day lives. New readers, Fridays are fun and frivolous. I typically list three items, songs, websites, etc. that make my world pop. I encourage you to check out previous Friday posts for more favorites and as always, please share your own favorites in the Comments section. It is kind to share.

Here we go:

One Hundred Fortunes – The above quote is from this adorable tiny, beautifully wrapped package of One Hundred Fortunes. I picked today’s beautiful paper fortune, out of the pile randomly and I think that I am going to try to pick one fortune out and put it on to the blog post every day, until I run out. On Christmas Eve, my family and I, each drew our own fortune out of the pile. We took turns reading our fortunes and saying what we felt that the fortune meant to us or was saying about the world. It is one of my most favorite 2019 holiday memories. It felt so intimate and warm to really hear each other’s thoughts and feelings and perspectives. You can find this and other wonderful delights on the creator’s (Ingrid Goff-Maidoff) website: www.TendingJoy.com

The Boy, the mole, the fox and the Horse (by Charlie Mackesy) – This is Barnes and Noble’s “book of the year” and all you have to do is to flip through it, to understand why. The illustrations are so whimsical and enchanting. I read it to my family on Christmas Eve, as if they were all little children again, and we all lapped up the experience. (either that, or they are all great fakers ;)) The story has a timeless message and I know that our copy will stay in our family forever.

Deep Sleep Pillow Spray by thisworks – I wouldn’t put this stuff in the Tylenol PM category, but the beautiful, refreshing lavendar scent is a wonderfully dreamy way to fall into a nice, peaceful, blissful slumber. The scent whispers comfort and peace. I got mine on Anthropologie’s website.

I guess that I am feeling a little bit more serious and sentimental than I typically feel on Fridays. I suppose this may be because I am in a reflective mood, with it being the end of the year, the end of a decade, the end of our winter break and yet also, the sweet and exciting start to a new year, a new decade, and a new chapter, in all of our lives. The photo below is the last page of The Boy, the mole, the fox and the Horse. I think that it says what I am trying to convey, the best. Have a great weekend!!!

Kia Ora

Wow. I always want to start out of the New Year starting gate, raring to go, but I think that I am a slow starter. No, I know that I am a slow starter. The tortoise wins the race, though, right? In New Zealand, today is officially celebrated as the New Year’s Day holiday. Today, I am a New Zealander.

Thank you for my New Year’s wishes from some of my regular readers (and friends). We had a lovely time with our college friends. How can you not have a great time with people who have decided to remain friends with you for 30+ years? That needs to be cherished and rewarded. And luckily, all of us girls married nice, solid guys (the good ones whom we decided to hold on to 😉 ) and we are all blessed with wonderful, kind, pleasant children. It was a fantastic way to end one year out and bring in the new one.

I was scrolling through Twitter this morning and this post caught my eye. It was a re-tweet from a twitter account called Jessica Dore (I do not know anything about her, but I find this post very thought-provoking.) Let’s all be heroes and really, really start living even more full and authentic and brave lives this year, and throughout the decade ahead! As the New Zealanders apparently say, KIA ORA in 2020! (Maori for “be well”) Here’s the post:

The End

For the first time in a long time, I am going to attend a New Year’s Eve party tonight. Typically, I stay in, and do more quiet, spiritual reflection. Ironically, all of my horoscopes are telling me that this particular New Year’s Eve would be a good year to stay in and do quiet, spiritual reflection. Ha!

Here are some good NYE toasts, ranging from funny to serious, to share tonight, starting with funny, moving to serious:

“Here’s health to those I love and wealth to those who love me.”

“May all your troubles during the coming year be as short as your New Year’s resolutions.”

“Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you’re forced to.” — Bill Vaughn

“He who breaks a resolution is a weakling; he who makes one is a fool.” — F.M. Knowles

“We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year’s Day.” — Edith Pierce

“For last year’s words belong to last year’s language, and next year’s words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning.” — T.S. Eliot

Happy New Year’s Eve, friends! However you bring the new year in, even if it is deep in slumber, I am very excited to connect with you next year!!! It’s going to be a great year. 🙂

Grand Memories

Over a decade ago, some friends of mine from college and I, decided to try a little experiment. We were in our late thirties and we had well-established families. We all had at least three kids (my family had the biggest family, consisting of four children). We thought that it could be neat and fun, to attempt a shared family vacation. We imagined renting a huge, rambling beach house, taking turns making meals, picking restaurants, sharing laughs, fun, memories and getting a slowed-down chance to really get to know each other’s babies and husbands, a little bit better. Going into it, I knew that this particular trip was either going to be absolutely fantastic or extremely hellish, nothing in between. Our family was accustomed to taking our own private family trips. We already always had enough chaos going on between the six of us. I couldn’t fully fathom what adding eight more adults and twelve more kids into the mix, was going to bring, other than knowing that it would be either exponentially great or exponentially horrible. It turns out that the trip was FABULOUS! Exponentially.

We had such an amazing time. My favorite memory of that long ago get-together, is all twenty-six of us, combing the beach at night, with head lamps and flashlights and buckets, foraging for night crabs. Some of us got cut by pincers (probably deservedly) and some of us were never agile enough to catch a crab (me and some of the babies), but the merriment, the excitement, and the in-the-moment joyousness of the event is something that I will never, ever forget. The kooky babysitters who we hired, making shell and sea grass jewelry with the young ladies of the group, my friend who grew up in Baltimore teaching us the proper way to truly get your money’s worth out of getting all of the meat (and I mean ALL) out of a boiled crab, and the early morning jaunts to the decadent doughnut shop, are all part of a wonderful collection of recollections, that are kept in a treasured, safe corner of my still solid memory bank. The evening card games ended each night in hilarity (and even some tension), as all of us adults were a little more hyper-competitive than any of us ever wanted to admit. Then, even later into the night, one of us couples would steal off into the night, climbing the dunes, under the romantic moonlight, knowing that our babies were safe and sound, with trusted, loving friends. It was a beautiful experience. The only negative thing that I brought back from that trip was that one of my friends introduced my children to peanut butter and marshmallow fluff sandwiches. I was never able to avoid the jars of marshmallow fluff at the grocery store after that trip, without all of my children chorusing together, in loud begging and whining tones, for us to purchase at least one jar. My house was forever-filled with extremely sticky, dirty fingerprints after that vacation. And it was totally worth it.

Unfortunately, we were never really able to completely recapture that multi-family beach experience again. The following years included the recession, out of state moves, marriage break-ups, friendship shake-ups, and the inevitable over-taxed schedules of maturing families. Our family, having the eldest of the children and having been the ones who moved the furthest away, was never able to be part of some of the smaller get-togethers that happened after that wonderful inaugural event. So, earlier this month, when one of my girlfriends offered up her house, for a New Year’s Eve reunion of this wonderful group of friends and our families, we jumped on it! The kids are all older now, mostly in their late years of high school and college. Only my two youngest kids will be coming along on the trip with my husband and I, this go around. Some of the other kids of the group have to stay home for work obligations, as well. Us parents have a few more wrinkles and a lot more gray hair (and in some cases, less hair) than we had on that long-ago beach trip, over ten years ago. Still, I no longer have to question which way this trip is going to go. This time, I already know that it is going to be fabulous, and I have an empty vault in my memory bank, just waiting to be filled up with the best treasures of all – grand memories, the kind of memories that make up a person’s life.

Soul Sunday

(shhhh. Let’s do our poetry thing today, like we do every Sunday. Let’s not just read each other’s words. Let’s feel them.)

GODSPEED

As a mama, I’ve been practicing the art

of letting go

From the moment you were born.

The little good-byes . . . .

A tender kiss goodnight,

As I placed you in your crib.

The brave wave,

At the door of the preschool.

Your first sleepover,

Your first camp weekend,

Your first school trip, out of state,

Your first year at college,

Your study abroad experience,

Your college graduation,

Leading you to your adult life.

A grand adventure, for sure.

I found you little red curls from your first haircut,

the other day.

They were so tiny, and silky, and new.

I tucked them away, like I do with so many of my memories,

and my emotions, which are large and coarse and timeless.

I don’t want to make you feel lonely or sad or scared,

when we do another good-bye at the airport today.

I’m proud that we have both done what we are supposed to do.

Me, relinquishing, proudly. (bravely)

You, going on with your journey. (confidently)

Both of us. (courageous and bold and loved)

I Know Friday

Happy Friday!!! Happy Favorite Things Friday!! In case you haven’t noticed, one of my favorite activities during the holiday season, is sleeping in. Late. Readers, Fridays are devoted to Favorites here at Adulting – Second Half. On Fridays, I list three favorite things, activities, beauty products, websites, songs, whatevers and I encourage you to do the same in the Comments section. Please check out previous Friday posts for more favorites to make your life fabulous, fun and fantastic.

Today’s favorites:

Smathers & Branson – This company is known for its needlepoint belts. They also carry needlepoint key fobs and sunglasses holders and wallets and dog collars. The items are pricey, but that is okay, because the items are priceless and top quality and can be personalized with a monogram. I got my husband a belt with our college alma mater on it, and he LOVES it! They are a perfect shop for a man who already has everything.

Awkward Family Photos 2020 Calendar – My husband buys this calendar for me every year, just so that he can hear me laugh every morning, when I rip off the old day and look at the new “photo of the day.” One of my close friends bought me Anne Wilson Schaef’s Pageaday calendar, too. I find Anne Wilson Schaef to be so insightful and inspiring. Go get your Barnes and Noble gift card that you got for Christmas, and go pick out your favorite Pageaday calendar or go to their website for all of their offerings. You are bound to find something that speaks to you there. My friend wants us to write just one thing we are grateful for that day, on the back of each calendar page and put them in a jar. On NYE 2020, we will then have a jar full of gratefulness to reflect on, as we bring in the new year.

Enchant Christmas – Every year, three cities get gifted with an opportunity to visit Enchant Christmas, which is a fabulous light show (thousands of Christmas lights), a walk-thru maze, with a Christmas market, professional carolers, a band, a bar and a winding ice skating rink. We were lucky enough to live near to one of these cities, this year. The event was housed in our baseball arena. Last night, our entire family plus our middle son’s girlfriend, enjoyed ice skating together through twinkly light tunnels, laughing, falling, and honestly, just feeling “simply enchanted.” Don’t miss this opportunity if it comes to your city next.

Well, we’re off to a family beach day. That’s one of my favorite things about living in Florida. I was ice skating last night and beaching it today! I hope you all are having a fabulous holiday season!

Image result for christmas is over memes

Exhale

Today is a day to just exhale. Whether your Christmas was busy, and crazy and fun, or solitary and sad, or a little bit of both, exhale. Let it go. Whether Christmas zipped by and you wonder where it went, or whether it crawled by, and you just wondered when it was ever going to be over, exhale. Just be. Whether you loaded Christmas with a bunch of expectations or you went into it with an observant curiosity, just relax. Exhale. Whatever you are feeling right now – sad and disappointed that Christmas is over for another year, relieved and joyous that Christmas is over for another year, or a little bit of both, that’s okay. Observe the feelings and then set them free. Exhale. You are enough. You are lovely. You just experienced another big holiday season and whatever that does to you – energizes you, depletes you, inspires you, depresses you, fills your heart, frustrates your heart, puts you in a fog of memories and quietness, or puts you into action of cleaning and orderliness, it’s all okay. It’s all good. Exhale. Just breathe. Just be.