Tag: middle age

Absolute Truth & The Four Hour Rule

 “All things in this world, including ourselves, are aggregate sums of atoms, which are made up of rotating electrons. The ultimate history of mankind is moving toward a happy ending for people of all races. The Earth, the galaxy, and the universe all rotate. In other words, I think rotation is the absolute truth. So as long as I’m thinking about pi, I think I can live a life according to truth.” – From the Morning Brew quoting Akira Haraguchi who is the first person to recite 100,000 digits of Pi

Happy Pi Day!! I believe in the truth. I believe that we are headed towards the happy ending for all people. Let’s all just make sure that we are rotating in the right direction.

Yesterday was our annual termite inspection day. Recently we figured out that we have lived in our current home for ten years which is longer than we have lived in any home in the entirety of our married life (and is also why I should be currently cleaning the damn clutter out instead of writing my blog). Anyway, our termite inspection guy is a nice, older chatty guy who, since around 2019, has told us his fondest good-byes, mentioning that he won’t see us next year because he plans to retire. But of course, this same guy showed up at my door yesterday to inspect our house for termites (none, thank goodness) and of course, I teased him. And as usual, as I followed him around the house, as he put a flashlight on to every nook and cranny (and I cringed, embarrassed by the dust), we chatted. Our chat was mostly about “the what nexts” of retirement. I’ll call our inspection guy “M” from here on out. M told me that he really does want to retire, so he has made some, what he considers to be, outlandish demands on his company, like no more Saturday jobs, and that he has to be done inspecting by 2:30. The company keeps happily meeting his demands.

“M, this means that they really love and respect you! They appreciate you. They don’t want you to leave,” is what I said.

And he nodded, looking both proud and sheepish at the same time. “It’s hard for me, ya know,” he said. “There is still that young competitive guy inside of me who wants to be the best in the office, at every facet of the game.”

“M, maybe you just need to change your mindset a little bit,” I said gently. “Maybe there comes a time when we stop the climb, climb, climb, and we turn around, and we become the elders who reach back our hands to help show the youngers the way. Maybe it becomes our job to make the climb a little bit easier for those who are coming up behind us, and pushing them along to surpass what we were able to do. And just maybe, by doing this act of passing on the wisdom, knowledge, and confidence to our younger successors, this is really the true pinnacle of our careers, and of all of the success that we have had in our careers. And maybe we also have to show them that it is possible to leave the game, and to go on to do other things.”

M looked at me thoughtfully, like he wanted to agree, but he is clearly still in a state of flux, thinking everything out before he makes his true retirement move. He did tell me that he is clearly thinking out how he would spend his time if he retires, by checking out local gyms, buying an electric bike, and turning his garage into a mancave. M told me that he didn’t want to ruin his successful, many decades long marriage, in his golden retirement years. M said that the reason why his marriage is so successful is because they took advice that he got from his cousin many years ago. She called it “the four hour rule.” She told M to never spend more than four hours at a time with each other, without taking a break, (sleeping is not included) throughout their marriage, and they will live happily ever after. His cousin reminded him that most major arguments in marriages happen on the weekends, or on vacations and holidays. Couples rarely argue during the week, when they spend just about four hours together in the evening, eating dinner together, talking about their days, and then perhaps watching a show before heading to bed.

Since 2019, when the inspections have been over, I have shook M’s hand and wished him well in his retirement, thanking him for his excellent service throughout the years. This time I didn’t do it. We both laughed when I told him that I’d probably see him again next year. But when I closed my door, I felt a little lump in my throat. This time did feel different. I’m pretty sure that it will be a different person doing the inspection next year. I felt a mix of resignation/excitement/planfulness in M’s demeanor this go around, that told me that M is now truly ready to take his next steps into a truly different stage of his life. And who’s to say what will be happening in my own life at this time next year? Will we still be at this house? Whatever does all happen, I do know is this: M, and me, and everyone else in this world, are ultimately all rotating towards the absolute truth . . . . . and this is all that really matters.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1762. What do you consider yourself an expert at?

Cocksure

A couple of weeks ago my husband and I took a ride in a helicopter, over a large mountain range. I had never taken a long ride in a helicopter, so I was admittedly a little bit apprehensive. We got to talking to the pilot before the ride, and I was instantly reassured. I felt very little fear from the beginning of the ride until the end, despite it being a big thrill. In turns out that our pilot had served in the marines, flew planes for firefighters in the west, and he had an entirely “cocksure” attitude. Typically, I don’t care for this kind of arrogant cadence in people, but there are certain professions where it is absolutely what you want to encounter, such as from your doctor/surgeon, your lawyer, your financial accountant, and absolutely any kind of driver or pilot who is in charge of getting you safely to and from your destination. And reflecting back, this pilot was extremely likable. He was definitely more confident than truly arrogant.

Confidence is not something that is easy to fake. And some people are so stupidly, unwarrantly confident/arrogant, and that attitude stands out like a sore thumb, and makes anyone around these people feel less confident in them than ever.

Arrogant people need to feel “better than”, in order to feel good about themselves. Other people are desperately needed for arrogant people to feel good about themselves, as either adoring audiences or as people to compare themselves to, whom they consider to be “lower standard” than themselves. The feeling of superiority is an aching need for arrogant people. Ironically, most arrogant people are extremely insecure. Confident people get all of their self-assurance from their own inner knowing, their faith in life and/or in their Higher Power, and in their own individual purposes and gifts. Other people really don’t figure into the equation of how confident people feel about themselves. Confident people assume that everyone has the ability to be confident in their own lives and in their own purposes and talents, and they wish the best for us all. Confident people feel assured that any of us have the ability to live life to the absolute fullest. And thus confident people inspire us, and they lead the way without even realizing that they are doing it.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

488. Fill in the blank: Working _______ hours a week is too much for me.

That’s What They Said

+ I’m not a huge fan of the royals and I try to keep my gossiping in check, but I find myself going down this “Kate Middleton rabbit hole”, like so many others. Where is she? What really happened? Are they headed towards divorce like Diana and Charles?

“The Kate Middleton Photo Scandal has now got me seriously questioning this.” – Cian McCarthy, X

“I’m not generally into conspiracy theories but this Kate Middleton photo has got me feeling like a flat earther” – Cara Lisette, X

“I consider myself a serious person, but I keep clicking on the trending Kate Middleton link. I cannot help myself.” – Joyce Alene, X

+ And some good quotes from the Oscars:

“I’d like to thank my terrible childhood and the Academy, in that order.” – Robert Downey, Jr.

Honestly, the best parts of our own selves often come out of us after our hardest, most taxing experiences. I love that Robert Downey, Jr. can find the blessings, sort them out, and then soar with the good stuff.

“I always wanted to be different, but now I realize that I just need to be myself. Thank you for seeing me.” – Da’Vine Joy Randolph (she won best supporting actress for The Holdovers, a must-see film. I’ve seen it twice, which is a rare experience for me.)

+ And from the fashion illustrator, Izak Zenou:

“Whimsical, elegant funny sexy, always glamorous and Certainly not pretentious. With a smile on your face, here you go for the big life!”

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

2047. What makes you feel unstoppable?

Monday – Funday

This is good information to have in our back pockets. (ha ha)

I am coming off of a couple of weeks of one exciting, interesting, unique, fun event after another. And it’s all been really great, especially being with my loved ones. However, I am exhausted. I am “spent.” Energy is energy, and wherever you are spending your every load of energy, whether it be on good times or on bad times, it all needs to eventually be replenished, in order to get on with things, in a healthy way. I hope to replenish my coffers this week with some sleep, with some solitude, and with some unscheduled moments to just be.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

2388. Do you know your own worth?

Soul Sunday

Welcome to poetry day on the blog. Sundays are devoted to poetry here. Emily Dickinson’s poems were not widely published until after she died. She was known as a recluse and as a rebel. One of her most famous poems is below. I like it. I’ve never quite understood the desire for fame (admiration, sure, but fame – No thank you.) I believe that fame would limit your individual freedom so much, and also make you feel quite misunderstood and not quite “seen” despite being ever so seen. But honestly, I wouldn’t know. I’m nobody! Who are you?

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

666. What is one thing you do that you consider practical?

Saturday’s Snippets

+ We just dropped our eldest son and his girlfriend at the airport after a lovely visit with them. That’s something you never quite get used to with your children, from the moment they leave your womb . . . . the letting go and the saying good-bye. But the reunions are always so wonderful. Like so many things in life, it’s two sides of the same coin.

+ We have our first grand-dog!! Our middle son and his girlfriend adopted a “furry Frenchie” from a rescue. He is beyond adorable! Frenchies do the “zoomies” like no other dog can do. Until I get an actual grandchild, I plan to be as obnoxious as I was last night, passing on videos of our “grand-dog” to anyone who will watch them. (or at least politely pretend to)

+ I learned a new wonderful word the other day. It is a German word. The word is “Nachkussen”. It means to do the kind of kissing which compensates for the lack of passionate kissing that has been needing to happen between two lovers for a while. Purposely schedule some “Nachkussen” with your baby tonight and then thank me in my Comments section tomorrow. (I want to see a lot of gratitude . . . .)

+ The author, columnist and poet Rob Brezsny said that one of the best compliments that he ever received was from one of his readers who said to him, “I want you to know how often your process of being yourself has helped me in the process of being me.” By being fully and truly your entire authentic self, you give others permission to do the same. How beautiful and inspiring! This is how we become “wayshowers.”

“Wayshowing means showing others the way by simply awakening to and living your truth. By being it rather than preaching it. Leave room for people to notice the incredible shifts you are experiencing and they’ll naturally want to have what you’re having.” – Embodying Wild

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

2982. Were you ever a member of a celebrity fan club?

Feminine Friday

Happy Friday!! Happy Favorite Things Friday!! On Fridays on the blog, I discuss the stuff that makes life fun. I don’t go deep on thoughts, just steep on stuff. Today’s favorites include my new favorite pens (and I’m a pen addict. Ask my husband. We have a multitude of pens) Our youngest son supported my addiction by buying me these pens over Christmastime and now they have become my latest favorite, go-to pen (and I have written about others of my favorite pens over the years on the blog).

Zebra F-301 Ballpoint Stainless Steel Retractable, 0.7mm, Black Ink, Combo Pack of 6 BLACK INK Metal Pens with 3 BLACK INK REFILLS, 0.7mm fine point pens with Pen Refill can be purchased on Amazon at this link:

I have honestly never enjoyed handwriting with a smoother pen. I don’t practice my handwriting nearly as much as I used to do (and it shows), but when I do (mostly for shopping lists or reminder post-its), these are my go-to pens!

And as a bonus Friday favorite, please check out The Tourist series on Netflix. It’s a thrill a minute and it constantly keeps you guessing what could be next. The Tourist has some great comic moments, too.

Have a wonderful weekend, friends!!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1583. The quickest way to make you feel crazy is . . .

Overlooked Superstars

“It happens all the time. Superstars get overlooked. The passersby rush past the musical genius playing on the sidewalk. The future bestseller sits at the bottom of a slush pile. Groundbreaking work is met with skepticism or ignored. It all presents an opportunity for the intuitive and aware. Be on the look-out for the good stuff. Be the one who sees it, senses it, lives it.” – Holiday Mathis

Whenever I’m in a quandary about what to write about on the blog, I go to Holiday Mathis’ daily horoscopes. She typically writes something profound (such as above) before she even gets to the individual astrological signs. Some of the best music that I have ever heard, some of the best artwork which I have ever seen, and some of the best words I have ever read, have come from obscure places such as street corners, graffiti walls and out-of-print books that I picked up at a garage sale.

When we were away last week, sitting in a swanky hotel, two extremely stylish women decked out in pricy, designer gear from head to toe, were gushing to me about a ring that I was wearing on my right hand. I had two rings on, one expensive, beautiful 14K gold ring bedazzled with diamonds and the other one, a hammered brass ring, holding a broken shell, that I had purchased from an artsy street fair in a local town a couple of years ago. I asked the regal looking women which ring they were inquiring about, and it was the street fair ring. They wanted to know the maker, and unfortunately, I had no idea. The artist had not put a maker’s mark on it. I do love the ring though. It is truly one-of-a-kind. It is special.

I love to support the underdog, especially in the arts. If someone’s creative work touches me, I do everything that I can to support it, whether that means a purchase, a compliment, a nice tip, a referral/promo, etc. It takes courage to put one’s creations out into the public. To do this opens a creator up to criticism, to ridicule, to rejection and creating takes a lot of time to do, without the likelihood of great reward in return for their time and effort. This is why I believe that we miss out on so much of what the world and all of its individual creators could offer to us. We often respect and worship all of the wrong people/places/stuff. We get a lot of copycats and a lot of same old/same old. And thus, we don’t get inspired to be more creative and imaginative, ourselves.

Go to Etsy and look up something you like, say perhaps, “turtles.” You won’t believe the offerings that you will find, in every kind of art form, at truly reasonable prices. Go to local hole-in-the-wall restaurants that aren’t chains. You might taste flavors like you have never experienced before in any kind of restaurant. Pause and listen to that saxophonist on the corner. Many famous stars today, including Justin Bieber, were originally street performers. And if you find a creator that really impresses you, support them, any way that you can. It means so much to them. And honestly, it means so much to the world.

Even if you don’t like astrology, go to Holiday Mathis’ website and just read her opening paragraph every day. In my opinion, she’s a writer and a thinker and a wise woman who deserves a whole lot more attention. She’s a star among those who write about the stars. And also, allow yourself to put your own creations “out there”. If nothing else, this will help you to appreciate, even more so, the bravery, the vulnerability, and the imaginative effort and sacrificial time, the creators whom you admire, have in spades, by the offerings which they give to all of us. Creators give us an intimate piece of themselves.

(It is my belief that WE are the vehicles of creations for our Creator. Do not withhold your gifts, and also, bring attention to other creators’ gifts. The world will be a much better place for it.)

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

2481. Would you join in a revolution?

Yes, It’s This Weekend

Credit: @woofknight, X

I just read the unfortunate news that we lose an hour of sleep this weekend. This is always the time of year in which I could use an extra hour of sleep, not an hour less. Why do we still play these stupid games with the clocks???

I saw this yesterday in a store. The absolute truth:

Just for today, find the magic. It’s everywhere. Open your eyes and see it.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

548. Are you any good at burlap sack races?

My Girls

I saw this posted this morning and I know that it is the truth. That’s why I think I keep my circles small. I “catch” other people’s energy really easily, and I have actually been around people who have made me have to run to the bathroom to vomit. Truth.

On the opposite side of the spectrum, the people who you feel so “at home with and connected to” are priceless. You feel that in your body, too. You breathe easy. Silences aren’t uncomfortable. You share space and everything just flows.

I am going to use this as a segue to a humble-brag. Our eldest son and his girlfriend of a few years flew down to visit us this past weekend. Then on Monday, our son headed to a 4-day conference, for his job, in a city close to our city. Ironically, my husband is attending a different conference in the same city. Our son’s girlfriend asked to stay here, and hang out with me this week. I am thrilled. I have one daughter but two of our sons have long- term girlfriends whom I consider to be my other “daughters”, and I know that my daughter sees them to be the sisters she never had. I feel so blessed to have a good relationship with all of “my girls.” I feel grateful and “complimented”. I am breathing easy.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1168. Name something you always exaggerate.