Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Good morning, my treasured readers. I hope that you are having the kind of Sunday morning that I am having. Relaxing, peaceful, sun-filled, hopeful . . . . this morning indicates a day filled with promise.
Sundays are devoted to poetry on the blog. Sometimes I write a poem, and sometimes I share a poem that another writer has shared with the world. At the very least today, write a poem and share it with yourself. Poetry is perhaps the most intimate form of language which we have in this world.
“Poetry is ordinary language raised to the Nth power. Poetry is boned with ideas, nerved and blooded with emotions, all held together by the delicate, tough skin of words.” — Paul Engle
Here is my poem for today:
Calm Waters
I am sitting here dwelling in my relief
Isn’t that how it always goes with grief?
It comes in waves, it crescendos and crashes,
Until it levels out, and the tears dry in my lashes.
The largest waves end up as the harmless shallows on the shore,
Only to be sucked back out into the massive ocean of steady core.
The raging storms and waves will be stirred up again, I know.
But today, I will rest in the steady waters that only lightly flow.
Knowing that this horrific anniversary was around the corner, I scrounged the internet this week, for the following editorial that was widely circulated after the 9/11 attacks. I remember getting it from several people in my email box, all of the way back in 2001. This editorial touched me then, and it touches me now. I will always, always be a proud and grateful American. Take care today, friends. This is a tough day for our country and its citizens.
America: The Good Neighbor Editorial by Canadian radio commentator Gordon Sinclair, June 5, 1973
“This Canadian thinks it is time to speak up for the Americans as the mostgenerous and possibly the least appreciated people on all the earth. Germany, Japan and, to a lesser extent, Britain and Italy were lifted out of the debris of war by the Americans who poured in billions of dollars and forgave other billions in debts. None of these countries is today paying even the interest on its remaining debts to the United States.When France was in danger of collapsing in 1956, it was the Americans who propped it up, and their reward was to be insulted and swindled on the streets of Paris. I was there. I saw it. When earthquakes hit distant cities, it is the United States that hurries in to help. This spring, 59 American communities were flattened by tornadoes. Nobody helped. The Marshall Plan and the Truman Policy pumped billions of dollars into discouraged countries. Now newspapers in those countries are writing about the decadent, warmongering Americans. I’d like to see just one of those countries that is gloating over the erosion of the United States dollar build its own airplane. Does any other country in the world have a plane to equal the Boeing Jumbo Jet, the Lockheed Tri-Star, or the Douglas DC10? If so, why don’t they fly them? Why do all the International lines except Russia fly American Planes? Why does no other land on earth even consider putting a man or woman on the moon? You talk about Japanese technocracy, and you get radios. You talk about German technocracy, and you get automobiles. You talk about American technocracy, and you find men on the moon – not once, but several times – and safely home again. You talk about scandals, and the Americans put theirs right in the store window for everybody to look at. Even their draft dodgers are not pursued and hounded. They are here on our streets, and most of them, unless they are breaking Canadian laws, are getting American dollars from ma and pa at home to spend here. When the railways of France, Germany and India were breaking down through age, it was the Americans who rebuilt them. When the Pennsylvania Railroad and the New York Central went broke, nobody loaned them an old caboose. Both are still broke. I can name you 5000 times when the Americans raced to the help of other people in trouble. Can you name me even one time when someone else raced to the Americans in trouble? I don’t think there was outside help even during the San Francisco earthquake. Our neighbors have faced it alone, and I’m one Canadian who is damned tired of hearing them get kicked around. They will come out of this thing with their flag high. And when they do, they are entitled to thumb their nose at the lands that are gloating over their present troubles. I hope Canada is not one of those. Stand proud, America!“
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Good morning, friends and readers. Welcome to the best day of the week!! My regular readers know that I typically keep it light and fun on Fridays. On Fridays, I list three favorite things, or songs, or websites or books, or life hacks that make my life more interesting and engaging. You, my readers, really like Fridays, at the blog. Interestingly, usually the most popular days on the blog are on Fridays, and on Sundays (the day that I devote to poetry. You never knew that one of your favorite things is poetry, did you? I caught you. ;)) So this tells me that you, my readers, are my favorite kind of people, a delicious mix of fun and frivolous, yet deep and soulful. It’s good to be well-rounded. Bravo!
As many of you know, we suffered another setback with my son’s epilepsy, this week. His new medications aren’t working out, which is deeply disappointing because the side effects of these medications were much more tolerable, than his last medications. We coaxed our baby to come home for the weekend, so I had the best sleep of my week last night, knowing that he was home safe with me, in my safely feathered nest. (I love sleep. It’s definitely one of my favorites.) My youngest son (the son with epilepsy) is obviously one of my favorite people in the world, and it is not just because he is my son. It is also because my son is funny, and smart, and ethical – almost to a fault; he is insightfully (and sometimes brutally) truthful – like no other person I have ever met, and so, so resilient. I admire him greatly. I love him beyond reason.
I’m drained, friends. These setbacks with epilepsy are hard on our family. These disappointments bring all of our fears and uncertainties, back up to the surface. People who live with serious disorders, know better than anyone, just how fragile life is, and how quickly it can be taken. After experiencing a major health setback, and once you calm down from the anxiety, and you let your shoulders drop, you can sometimes find the gift that comes from these painful realities of living with a disease, or a disability that can take your life, at any moment. It brings clarity and beauty and gratefulness for every simple moment of living a life. I can’t tell you how much my heart sang last night, to listen to my husband and my son yell, in unison, at the football game last night, as they have done so many times in the past. I savored that sound like it came from Heaven above. Because it did. Heaven is all around us, if we open up our eyes and connect our watchful eyes to our hearts.
I’m sorry to get so deep on a Friday. You readers don’t like that, I know. You might be thinking, “Lighten up, lady!”, but it’s my blog, and I’ll cry if I want to . . . .
Please always remember that when you are considering your favorite things in life, it’s never really “the thing”. It’s always the feeling that you get from “the thing.” If you think of one of your favorite things, or people, or places right now, you will get those wonderful feelings that those things give to you, seeping into your consciousness right away. Try it. Do it often. Your favorites are really your favorite feelings, and you are capable of dosing yourself with your favorite feelings regularly. They are just a thought away. Stay aware. That’s the only way to live.
Happy weekend, my favorite readers of my favorite blog! See you tomorrow.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Unfortunately, my youngest son suffered another major seizure last night. He is okay. We are okay. But today is a day for me to be quiet with myself, and with my son, and with my family. We’ll take your prayers and loving thoughts, in buckets. Thank you for your support. xo
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
This provoking Tweet took up a lot of my thoughts yesterday. Looking at its stats, it really hit home for a lot of people. I read a lot of the comments underneath the tweet. The author of the tweet is a black woman, and a lot of the people who commented, said that they were tired of “struggle” being the “badge of honor” for people of color. Many commenters said that they are tired of “strong” being the trait that overshadows everything else that any individual mother is, both in the lives of her children, and also in her own life.
I texted the tweet to some of my close friends. It resonated with them, too. One of my friends is a single mom, and she has been the primary parent for her two sons, for many years now. She noted that she tried hard to show her boys that not only was she strong and resilient, but that she is also responsible for her own happiness. Honestly, this friend of mine goes at life with a gusto. I am sure that her boys would describe her as “so strong”, and yet also happy and full of life. I admitted to my friends, that in reflecting back on being a young mother of four children, I think that I was “hit or miss” in regards to what this text is saying. I was happy raising my family, and we had a lot of fun and love, but I can’t say that I did a great job with “peaceful” all of the time. I worried too much. I took a lot of things too seriously. I tried to control people and experiences outside of myself, way too many times. Another friend agreed with me, that she also worried too much. We both lamented the fact that we sometimes let worry affect our moods too much, and that impacted our families. My friend said that she is now focusing on being that happy, peaceful grandma, filled with fun and love, to her beautiful granddaughter. I thought to myself, “Oh yes, I am going to do that, too. I will be the same way. I will be that wonderful, peaceful, fun-loving grandmother.” And then it struck me, the fact that I said that I also plan to be “that happy, peaceful” grandmother, denotes that there really is a choice involved. Happiness, peacefulness, and resiliency are states that we can choose to strive for, and to achieve, if we make them our highest priority.
Years ago, a friend was telling me about an argument that she had with her mother. Her mother was annoyed that my friend wasn’t doing more for her husband. Her mother claimed that her own generation did a lot more for their husbands, than our generation does for ours. In a fit of anger, my friend snapped back, “Well, maybe that’s because we don’t want to become angry, bitter, resentful, brittle older women, like so many women in the generations who came before us.”
Whether we want to admit this or not, our mood states effect, and are noticed by everybody, and everything around us. Our loved ones, the people who we claim to care about the most in this world, live in the vicinity of our own personal energy, more than anyone else. They absorb, and/or are repelled by the energy which we are constantly “putting out there.” In that sense, if we want to uplift our families, our friends, our communities and the world, we need to find ways to uplift ourselves. It’s our responsibility. Some may say this is our highest responsibility.
Anthony DeMello’s writings are some of my favorites out of all modern philosophy. He says this:
“If it is peace you want, seek to change yourself, not other people. It is easier to protect your feet with slippers than to carpet the whole Earth.”
And this:
“Live your life as you see fit. That’s not selfish. Selfish is to demand that others liveas you see fit.”
And this:
“The reason you suffer from your depression and your anxieties is that you identify with them.
You say, “I’m depressed.” But that is false. You are not your depression.
If you want to be accurate, you might say, “I am experiencing a depression right now.” But you can hardly say, “I am depressed.”
That is but a strange kind of trick of the mind, a strange kind of illusion. You have deluded yourself into thinking—though you are not aware of it—that you are your depression, that you are your anxiety, that you are your the delights and the thrills that you have. “I am delighted!”
You certainly are not delighted. Delight may be your experience right now, but just wait, it will change; it won’t last: it never lasts; it keeps changing. . . . .
It never strikes us that things don’t need to be fixed. They just need to be brought into awareness so they can be understood.”
And finally this:
“May the peace of God disturb you always.”
Peacefulness lies deep within each of us, and we will find it, if we are willing to let go of the idea that we have to find peace in the circumstances outside of ourselves. Many people commented on the above tweet, stating that their mothers were strong and capable and resilient, and yet also, kind and loving and peaceful. Being strong doesn’t have to be synonymous with being miserable and full of struggle. What we model for our children and for our grandchildren, teaches volumes to them, more than anything that we say. By giving ourselves the intrinsic right to peacefulness, and happiness, and joy, no matter what our present circumstances are, we are showing our children that they can have the same. And when we are resting in our deepest inner peace, we are able to handle our struggles with grace and courage and strength, no matter what comes our way.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
This tweet made me laugh out loud this morning. For a good portion of the United States, Labor Day weekend marks the closing of many public and club pools. And that’s a hard reality for a lot of kids to accept. Having four children, I didn’t have the luxury of any idle threats. My kids greatly outnumbered me, so they had to believe that I was in control, at all times. Therefore, when I told them it was time to get out of the pool, or “something” would happen, they knew that the “something” was going to happen, no matter what. Fortunately for me (and for my kids), I never had to drag my children out of the pool with my teeth. But if I had to, I would have done it. And they knew that fact. Just like any otter mom, I have my fun and cute and playful side, but “When provoked . . . . they’ll snap. Otters boast a sharp set of canines and crushing molars. And theirs is a formidable bite, roughly comparable in force to a German shepherd’s . . .” (Outsideonline)
Last night also marked the beginning of Rosh Hashanah. Happy New Year, to my dear Jewish readers. I am not Jewish, but I love the new year celebrations of all religions and cultures. I think that they are wonderful reminders that we can start fresh and anew, any time that we want. On a day like this, that marks a transition for many of us, whether from a religious sense, or from a seasonal sense, or from a school calendar sense, this is a great day to carve out a few moments of reflection. Since the pandemic started, fear has been in control of many facets of our lives. We have had to “do” so much of our everyday lives, with an undercurrent of uncertainty and fear. What if we chose not to continue this way, no matter what is going on outside of ourselves? I am going to end this post with my favorite passage from Matt Haig’s How To Stop Time novel. It’s a good prompt for reflection today. I hope that you like it, as much as I do. See you tomorrow.
“And just as it only takes a moment to die, it only takes a moment to live. You just close your eyes and let every futile fear slip away. And then, in this new state, free from fear, you ask yourself: who am I? If I could live without doubt what would I do? If I could be kind without the fear of being f*cked over? If I could love without the fear of being hurt? If I could taste the sweetness of today without thinking about how I will miss that taste tomorrow? If I could not fear the passing of time and the people it will steal? Yes. What would I do? Who would I care for? What battle would I fight? Which paths would I step down? What joys would I allow myself? What internal mysteries would I solve? How, in short, would I live?” (Matt Haig)
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Thank you to everyone whose work makes a meaningful difference in my own life, every single day. Thank you to the people working at the electric company, and the water plant, and the cell phone towers. Thank you for the police, and the paramedics, and the fire department. I slept well last night, knowing that you are always at your jobs. Thank you teachers who have taught my children so well. Thank you farmers for providing our sustenance and thank you wonderful chefs for making the food even more delicious. (especially the cook at my son’s fraternity house. I know what it takes to feed three sons, I can’t imagine making meals for 300 young men every day.) Thank you medical professionals. You are working on fumes, these days, we know. Thank you airline professionals. The anticipation of my trips and adventures is one of the best feelings in life, ever. Thank you to all of the constructions workers who have helped to make our house what we want it to be. Thank you to the people who reliably take our garbage and recyclables away, every week. You are saints! Thank you to every repair person who has fixed our cars or our appliances, much to our relief. Thank you to my husband and other bankers who help to gather the funds where they are needed, in order to make people’s dreams able to be realized. Thank you entertainers and musicians for being the source of a hearty laugh or a deep cry, whenever we need it. Thank you maintenance crews for making our roads so driveable, even in the craziest of weather. Thank you manufacturers. I love my stuff! And I’m always looking for more stuff to delight in. Thank you, technology professionals and engineers and scientists. I can’t even pretend to understand how you do what you do, but I do know that what you do, has brought us to a whole new world, in the span of just a couple of decades. Thank you retail workers, who always make everything sitting right on the shelf where I need it, look so easy. Thank you Amazon delivery people. Sometimes I wonder if we have one of you assigned just to our house. You are a dream come true! Thank you fellow writers. Reading is one of my greatest passions in life, and you have given to me so much wonderful material! Thank you to everyone that didn’t come to mind in the first ten minutes of me scrambling to get this blog post out. I appreciate you. Know this. It’s amazing to me, in just one day of my life, how much other people’s work goes into making my every single day, what it is to me. Nobody does anything alone. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
“No man is an island, entire of itself. . . . ” – John Donne
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Hello friends and readers. I hope that you are experiencing a delicious, comforting, restful, yet interesting and rejuvenating holiday weekend. I’m a little “slow on the go” this Sunday morning. I find my mind wandering on to many things, but none of it rhymes, nor do my words seems to fit any kind of a poetic flow. My regular readers know that I devote Sundays to poetry on the blog. Poetry can be serious. Poetry can be fun. Poetry can be mysterious. Poetry can be poignant. Write a poem today. You won’t regret it. You’ll be tickled by your cleverness. Today I am borrowing from some other poets’ cleverness and wit. Here are two poets’ fun and short, little rhymes:
GREEN EGGS AND HAM – Dr. Seuss
I do not like them in a box I do not like them with a fox I do not like them in a house I do not like them with a mouse I do not like them here or there I do not like them anywhere I do not like green eggs and ham I do not like them Sam I am
A WORD TO HUSBANDS – Ogden Nash
To keep your marriage brimming With love in the loving cup, Whenever you’re wrong, admit it; Whenever you’re right, shut up.
Here are a few other funnies from the humorous American poet, Ogden Nash:
I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I’ll never see a tree at all.
If you don’t want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won’t have to work.
Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.
Enjoy the rest of your weekend, friends. I suppose this is the time of year that marks “unofficially” the end of summer. We made it. As I often asked my kids at dinner on various school days, “What were your highlights? What were your lowlights?” After you get them out of your system, pitch the lowlights, and keep the highlights in your “Beautiful Memories” file, to open up whenever you need their reassurance and joy.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
“I kept looking at P today with wonder, like “Omg, we were 18 when we first met each other.”
“The heart knows its ties . . .” (texts I sent last night to my best friends from college. We had been boating all day with P, and her husband. P is one of my very best friends from college. My husband and I, and P and her husband, all graduated from James Madison University, which sits beautifully in the Shenandoah Valley, in Virginia. JMU is truly one of the most lovely places on Earth. There’s a magic there that can’t be explained in words. It softly and gently transitions young people into adults, like no other place that I have ever experienced. It’s like a beautiful silk cocoon nestled in the valley, holding it’s charges while molding them at the same time, without us even realizing it. Perhaps that’s why we keep close ties with our friends from JMU. We all know and understand the specialness of this magic.)
Lifelong friendships are so interesting. Change is the only constant, and who you are at age 18, is not at all who you are at 50, and there have been many versions of you, and also of your friends, all along the way. That’s what’s really special about lifetime friendships. There is an allowance of each other’s morphing and growing and transitioning and refining and reforming, and yet, throughout all of that, you still really like each other. You still want to spend time with each other. There is a naturalness to lifelong friendships that is hard to come by, in a world full of judgment, “cancel culture”, and everyone vying for their own fifteen minutes of glory. Lifelong friendships are a comfortable and a reliable and a sheltered place to rest your heart in, from time to time. What a blessing!
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Hello!! Happy Friday!! Happy Best Day of the Week! This Friday is extra special since it is tied into the holiday weekend. Enjoy it!
My regular readers know that I don’t think too deeply on Fridays. On Fridays, I usually list three things that make my material world more interesting and enjoyable. I call it “Favorite Things Friday”. Please list your favorites in my Comments section. It’s always great to discover new products to try, or books to read, or shows to watch, or singers to listen to . . . . .
Today I only have a couple of favorite things to share:
Favorite New Author of Mine: Matt Haig. Matt Haig is a British author, whom I have just recently discovered his writings, and they are wonderful. I have read The Midnight Library, The Comfort Book and I am in the middle of How to Stop Time. I also purchased his children’s book, A Boy Called Christmas, which I can’t wait to devour. Matt Haig’s writing is concise, interesting, imaginative, empathic and full of historical references and personal insights. I love his writing style!
Favorite New Tip: If you have any games or apps on your phone, that are filled with advertisements that annoyingly interrupt and delay your play, put your phone on airplane mode. I only recently discovered this because I was actually on a flight and I was playing a game and while being on airplane mode, the game was still playable, but the ads couldn’t come through. I then tried it at home, and it was the same experience. Voila! If you aren’t expecting any important calls (the kids can call Dad, too, remember), then try this. Uninterrupted Sudoku is a much more enjoyable experience than having your concentration broken by ads for more games that you never have any intention of downloading on to your phone.
That’s all that I have for today. Please check out previous Friday posts for more fun favorites! Have an amazing day!!
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
