Vacationing All Wrong

I’ve always been skeptical of the staycation. The coinage is too cute for what feels like a consolation prize: While other people are off exploring the Blue Lagoon by camper van, you get to stay in your very own home and go to your usual supermarket for Cheerios!

So I was intrigued to discover, thanks to my colleague Catherine Pearson, that I have been vacationing all wrong. Evidently, my tendency to stumble into time off without a plan is unlikely to produce a restorative effect. Instead, one should imbue the time off with the urgency of a weeklong trip. Jaime Kurtz, a psychology professor at James Madison University and the author of “The Happy Traveler: Unpacking the Secrets of Better Vacations,” advises asking oneself, “If I were moving away soon, what would I most want to do, and who would I most want to spend time with?”from a The New York Times article by Melissa Kirsch

This article caught my attention immediately because it took a quote from a professor from my alma mater, James Madison University. (Go Dukes!) Now that we are empty nesters, my husband and I have found comfort in not having to schedule our major vacations during the summer months, due to our kids’ school and sports schedules. Our kids are grown. My husband and I can take vacation any time of the year that we want to vacation. By traveling mostly in the fall and in the spring, we often miss major crowds and major heat. It’s a relief. It’s relaxing.

So essentially, when we have time off in the summer, my husband and I do tend to “staycation”. However, I like the idea of treating a staycation with more intention and preparation. My friend told me recently that she and her longtime partner have made a pact to schedule at least one day-trip a month, to a location they have never been before. There is much less hassle, packing and expense with these day trips and yet they still have the thrill of anticipation, novelty, adventure and escape.

Pick a day this week that you don’t have a lot scheduled and treat it as if it were a vacation day. Use the professor’s question above to help guide you: “If I were moving away soon, what would I most want to do, and who would I most want to spend time with? (and don’t let your practical mind take over with thoughts like, “Well, I would tidy up, dust and start cleaning out drawers”, unless these activities are what you really enjoy doing on your vacations.)

And on an entirely different note, I watched this TED Talk yesterday and it is one of the best TED Talks that I ever watched. For those of you who consider yourself to be creatives (which should be all of you), this is a “can’t miss”:

And final thought of the day from the movie, Wine Country:

“From one old lady to another, get over all your shit, ‘cause it is later than you think.” -Lady Sunshine 

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Lifelong Friendships

“I kept looking at P today with wonder, like “Omg, we were 18 when we first met each other.”

“The heart knows its ties . . .” (texts I sent last night to my best friends from college. We had been boating all day with P, and her husband. P is one of my very best friends from college. My husband and I, and P and her husband, all graduated from James Madison University, which sits beautifully in the Shenandoah Valley, in Virginia. JMU is truly one of the most lovely places on Earth. There’s a magic there that can’t be explained in words. It softly and gently transitions young people into adults, like no other place that I have ever experienced. It’s like a beautiful silk cocoon nestled in the valley, holding it’s charges while molding them at the same time, without us even realizing it. Perhaps that’s why we keep close ties with our friends from JMU. We all know and understand the specialness of this magic.)

Lifelong friendships are so interesting. Change is the only constant, and who you are at age 18, is not at all who you are at 50, and there have been many versions of you, and also of your friends, all along the way. That’s what’s really special about lifetime friendships. There is an allowance of each other’s morphing and growing and transitioning and refining and reforming, and yet, throughout all of that, you still really like each other. You still want to spend time with each other. There is a naturalness to lifelong friendships that is hard to come by, in a world full of judgment, “cancel culture”, and everyone vying for their own fifteen minutes of glory. Lifelong friendships are a comfortable and a reliable and a sheltered place to rest your heart in, from time to time. What a blessing!

Quotes About Lifelong Friends. QuotesGram

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

This is Friday

In honor of all of my awesome James Madison University Alpha Sigma Alpha sisters (shout out) who have been so supportive of my published essay in The Fine Line magazine, I have written down this little “ode to Friday” with you in mind:

We love you Friday, oh yes we do!

We love you Friday, this much is true.

When you’re not with us, we’re blue.

Oh, Friday, we love you!!!

New readers, on Fridays I keep it superficial.  That’s just how I roll into the weekend.  I list three products/services/ideas that I really like and that have kept me hummin’ over the years.  I would be thrilled to see more recommendations in my Comments section from my readers.  Hint. Hint.  We could turn this into to something really useful and fun if everyone shared the love!!  Please feel free to check out previous Fridays for earlier recommendations.  So far, I’m not rescinding any of them.  No recalls.

Here we go:

Graptopetalum Pentandrum Superbum Flat Succulent – So I was trying to find the nickname of this beautiful plant on the internet and all that I could find is that it is in the subspecies “Superbum.”  Enough said.  I love all succulents but this one is queen of them all.  I discovered this gorgeous, drape-y, purple, impossible to kill succulent at a garage sale.  It is in that moment that I fell in love hard with succulent plants.  I have created probably 18 pots (I’m not a minimalist) of this succulent from the one little plant that I fell in love with at a garage sale. I even offered to pay full price for it. The neatest thing about the “drape-y grape-y” (my nickname for it) is that water beads up on it, so it looks like it is adorned in diamonds after it rains.  If you haven’t fallen on to the succulent bandwagon yet, this is the plant you want to start with and then don’t blame me for the obsession that happens next.

Sky Map app – My middle son “blinded me with science” with this awesome recommendation.  This app for your phone will tell you the name of every twinkly dot you see in the sky.  All you have to do is hold the phone up to the sky and you will know where Mars, Venus, the constellations and even the moon (being silly) is in accordance to where you are standing and looking up at the sky.  All you have to do is shake your phone to calibrate it.  Seriously.  I love this app!  It even works through your car windshield, although that is not how I would recommend using it for safety reasons.  Trust me on this.

Paul Mitchell Tea Tree Special Shampoo –  Anything with tea tree oil is invigorating.  In my twenties, I discovered tea tree shampoo when I found my head tingling in a great way after a shampoo from an “ahead of its time” beauty salon.  We used tea tree shampoo for a few years after that and then unfortunately, I got distracted by something on sale probably and forgot about it.  My boys were little guys at the time that we used it and they loved the zingy feel of it on their heads so much that it was a great bribe to get them into a bath tub.  I am so happy to have rediscovered this!  Honestly, sometimes I rub down my limbs with it because the sensation is so exhilarating!  It’s like cleaning your hair and your body with a York Peppermint Patty.  Seriously.

Okay, I cannot wait to see the Comments today!!  I’ll end with the Friday quote of the week:

“Music always sounds better on Friday.” – Lou Brutus

Have a great weekend!  I appreciate you reading my blog!  Big love and thanks!!