Recently I put the final period on a decision, that if I am honest with myself, I started making a long time ago. And it was an incredibly difficult, painful decision for me to make. It hurt me. It hurt others. But it was the right decision for me to make for myself, and in a way, I’m grateful that my hand was forced. I kept trying to buy time, in hopes that I would see things in a different way, but my “inner self knowing”, stayed steady. It could not be swayed. And I am sad, but I am not sad with regret. I’m just sad with the understanding that nothing is black and white, there is good and bad in everything, and a lot of things in life don’t come with the perfect tied bow of “happy conclusion.” I’m sad for the happy parts that I will truly miss, and I am grateful for the lovely memories that I will always keep with me. So many times in life we want to do what is “right”, but as we get older we realize that “right” is often a muddy picture, and often what is right for one person, is not right for another, and we have to come to acceptance of this fact. And getting ourselves to this acceptance is the hardest part. But with this acceptance, we finally give ourselves respect and complete permission to do what is right for ourselves. And we give others respect and complete permission to do the same. And having this full acceptance will always be closer to peace, than trying to contort your own square peg self into round holes, or else trying to force others to do the same type of thing, solely for your own comfort.
“Living in alignment” seems to be a common phrase thrown around these days, but what does it really mean? When I asked AI this question this morning, this was the summary:
“Living in alignment means consciously ensuring your daily actions, thoughts, and decisions consistently reflect your core values, passions, and authentic self. It is the practice of living truthfully rather than for external validation, fostering a sense of inner harmony, purpose, and flow, rather than just striving for success.
Key Aspects of Living in Alignment:
- Congruence: Your outer life—actions and relationships—mirrors your inner world, beliefs, and values.
- Authenticity: Making choices that feel true to your soul, even if they are unpopular.
- Values-Driven: Prioritizing what truly matters, such as health, joy, or purpose, over societal expectations.
- Emotional Resonance: A feeling of lightness and ease, which often contrasts with the exhaustion of trying to be someone else. “
In researching living an aligned life, I came across an excellent blog post written by Dr. Shea, a chiropractor in San Diego. In his article, he outlines five principles of living an aligned life. I’ll put a link to the article below (it’s a good read), but he writes that the essential five principles of living an aligned life are this: 1.) Know yourself. 2.) Take full responsibility for everything in your life. 3.) Maintain a long-term focus. 4.) Listen to your body and act upon what it is telling you. 5.) Prioritize self-care.
The second principle is sometimes a hard pill for us to swallow. It’s hard to take responsibility, especially when you’ve been victimized. This is how Dr. Shea puts it this way, and I couldn’t explain it better than he does:
“The good things include actually taking time to celebrate your wins when things go well. The bad things mean owning up when things don’t go according to plan. And the ugly things- these are the things we don’t talk about, the things that were done to us, or the things that we only share with a few close individuals. These are the things that we really have to take full responsibility for because until we do, these things rule our lives. To take control back from these people or events, taking full responsibility for them is essential. Even if you have had terrible things happen to you in your life, you are the only person who has control of how you think about it and what you will do about it. Without this first step, the concept of finding balance will never stick. Taking responsibility, despite the initial physical and emotional pain, is the only way to take control.”
It’s not lost on me that unless our spine is in alignment, we can’t reach our highest physical potential. When we are off balance, we can’t walk the paths of our individual lives with a steady gait. Living in alignment is not an easy task in this fast paced, “always vying for our attention in every which direction” kind of a world. However, the moments when we truly feel that our outside lives are most aligned and reflective of our inner selves, these are our most peaceful, resonant, honest, authentic, ripe, accepting, connected to something higher, purposeful moments which we can ever hope to experience.
Here is the link to Dr. Shea’s full article on living in alignment: https://alignedlifewellness.com/how-to-live-an-aligned-life/
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.