Tag: inspiration

Monday Fun-Day

Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

This is one of my favorite magnets. I’ve had it for decades. I think that I’ve shared it on the blog before, but it’s worth another laugh. I’ve gotten hundreds of laughs from it, over the years.

Earlier last week, I went to visit my friend/confidante/spiritual uplifter/therapist/wise sage/mentor/consultant, otherwise known as my long-term hairdresser. (We decided that it is okay for my generation to still say “hairdresser.” The older generations than mine sometimes still say “beautician”, and the title in vogue right now is “hair stylist”. I have reached the stage in my life where I stumble on the “right words” for a lot of things. I have reached the stage in my life that many of the things that I say, may now be considered to be outdated and/or even taboo. I try to keep up. It’s important to notice the changes, and even more so, to try to understand why the changes have come about.)

My hair stylist is a few years older than me. We got to talking about retirement. I asked her if she had plans for what to do in her retirement. (Although, I am not encouraging her to retire. The day that my hairdresser retires will be a very upsetting and depressing day for me.) She looked kind of puzzled and sad. “I hope that I never have to retire. I love cutting hair. I’ll do it until I physically can’t anymore, but I hope that day never comes.”

Wow. Okay, simple lesson there. “LOVE WHAT YOU DO. “

Dolly

Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

This is my little Worry, Trouble doll. Don’t worry, she’s not in this terrible, tragic state of being because of trying to deal with all of my worries. I don’t have any more worries than anybody else. Plus, I have been working really hard at practicing what I preach – in short, “Don’t worry, be happy.” She used to have this adorable, colorful outfit with a headdress to match. That disappeared somewhere, never to be seen again, when I found her in the jaws of death, i.e. the mouth of our adolescent Boykin spaniel, named Trip. Imagine having the job of taking on other people’s worries, while fighting for every inch of your own life in the stinking, steamy mouth of an energetic, stubborn, enthusiastic chewer of a dog. Thankfully, Trip has a soft mouth, which most sporting breeds do, thus my darling little trouble doll, still wears that easy-going, calm, placid and serene expression on her darling little face. I didn’t have the heart to pitch her. If anything, her new crumbling state-of-being helps me to keep perspective, now, even more than ever. Any time that I take a new worry or concern to the worry doll, she doesn’t have to say the words. I look at her, and inevitably, my worry pales in comparison to the ordeal that she has been through. “Oh trouble doll, I’m worried about picking out some paint colors. There are just sooooo many greys to choose from! The horror of it all!!” She just gives me that look on her face. And it says it all:

What I think the Trouble/Worry doll’s expression is saying, “You know, dear, no worry is too small to give to me, and I’ll be sure your worries get to the Highest Authority who can do something about them, but really? REALLY? REALLY?!?!?! Can you please get a grip, girl?!? Can you step outside of your own 800 pairs of shoes, just for once, and imagine what it feels like to be Worry/Trouble doll?! Everybody dumps their daily dismal dialog on to you, and then afterwards, is otherwise careless with your own life, to the point that a Godzilla type creature lurks around, not caring to use your for the purpose for which you are intended, because let’s face it, Boykin spaniels don’t worry about jack sh$t. And honestly, being chewed up by Trip wasn’t nearly as bad as watching you let your stomach be all tied up in knots for endless hours, over many situations that almost always magically and easily worked themselves out when you really, finally and completely, let them go.”

Moral of the story: Don’t be a Trouble/ Worry Doll. It’s an awful gig. You’ll end up chewed up and spit out. Don’t let dramatic people dump all of their “problems” on to you. Trust that the Highest Authorities “got this” for all of us, and get on with your day. That’s what Boykin spaniels do, and their tails are always wagging.

Quotes Of The Day - 12 Pics | Life quotes, 25th quotes, Quotable quotes

Friday Shenanigans

Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Hi! Welcome to the best day of the week!! Fridays are light and airy here at Adulting – Second Half. On Fridays, I only discuss that tactile, sensory stuff that makes life fun to live! On Favorite Things Friday, I list three favorite products, songs, books, movies, etc. and I strongly encourage you to add your favorite things to my Comments section. I’m a lady who likes a lot of stuff (I’m relatively easy to please, and I’m usually game to try), but even I run out of ideas, having done this “Friday – full of favorites” post for a few years now.

Yesterday, we were about 45 minutes away from our home, in a different town, for one of my daughter’s tennis matches. My husband suggested that we stop off at their Trader Joe’s grocery store after the match, since we don’t have one nearby to us. My son had been going on and on about their Scandinavian Swimmers (Joe’s answer to Swedish fish) and I think that ever since that, my husband has been on a quest to get himself some, too. Now, I haven’t been to Trader Joe’s in years, so I too, was thrilled with the prospect of shopping there. I love novelty, especially in food!

I felt a little excitedly overwhelmed when we entered the store, not wanting to miss out on anything, so I looked up articles on “must buys” at Trader Joe’s. I cannot personally vouch for any of these items, because we just bought them last night and I have not tried any of them yet, but due to rave reviews, here are three things that I made sure were in our cart to buy, and then to try. Please let me know your Trader Joe’s favorites.

Three best sellers at Trader Joe’s which we purchased but I have no description to give because I haven’t tried them yet:

Trader Joe’s Mandarin Orange Chicken (bake and serve)

Trader Joe’s Everything But the Bagel seasoning blend (it’s a spice)

Trader Joe’s Creamy Cauliflower and Jalapeño dip (it’s a dip . . . obviously)

Have a wonderful weekend, friends!! This weekend was a little long in coming, in seems, at least for our household. May health and blessings abound for all of us! I’ll end with some funny Tweets, collected about shopping at Trader Joe’s:

“You think jumping out of an airplane is dangerous? Pfft…try going to Trader Joe’s when you’re starving to death.” – Stacey (Twitter)

“I was so close to fighting someone at Trader Joe’s just now but instead, I bought their snowflake-shaped pasta to calm down.” – Ella (Twitter)

“Trader Joe’s feels like if Jimmy Buffett were a grocery store.” – Sammy Rhodes (Twitter)

“We could go to Trader Joe’s – that’d be fun!” a glimpse into my social life” – Noah Sebastian (Twitter) I totally relate, Noah.

The Wide Open Sea

Yesterday, a good friend of mine from college announced that she was taking an early retirement from a career that she has had since we graduated from college almost 30 years ago. I am so excited for her, and I am also extremely curious to see what she ends up doing next. I think that this new stage of life, this second half of adulting, sometimes feels a little rudderless. The options are starting to open up more and more, and that feels exciting, yet daunting, and sometimes overwhelming, all at the same time. For a long time, I was sailing along in the narrow channel of raising a family, while my husband built his career and supported our family, and now, I am seeing this wide open seascape at the end of the channel. It’s thrilling, but my compass is doing that wild shaking and moving that happens sometimes with compasses. It hasn’t quite settled down yet. I am eager to watch the other ships who have travelled the narrow channel with me, enter into the big, blue sea. I am curious as to where their new travels will take them, as the confines of the structural shores, slowly fade away. I want to be inspired by the other captains’ ideas and visions. I want a new destination point. I don’t like feeling rudderless.

This is a time period in our lives where “the lulls” are starting to be broken. Our kids are growing up and moving out. Our priorities are starting to shift, sometimes rapidly. We’re getting signals by watching the changes in other people’s lives that remind us that we don’t have to keep doing things the way which we have been doing them. There is no “one size fits all” formula to live life, and that seems more acutely evident now, than it ever has before. Two others of my closest friends from college become official empty nesters this year. By summer, all of their children will have graduated from high school and moved on towards their own adult lives. I am only one year away from this phenomenon myself. Wow.

I am guessing that in this next stage of my life, I will be doing a lot of loop de loops. There is a great deal more space in wide open sea, to change directions, and to stop and to explore small islands of curiosity. There is more space for error in wide open territory. Of course, the weather can get turbulent. There may be less “protection” from the winds of change, that my narrow channel afforded. Still, I am ready for the adventure. Anticipation is a delicious part of life. Anticipation of the unknown is one of the biggest thrills in life, if you can get past the fear.

We are not retreating - we are advancing in another direction. - Douglas MacArthur

Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Thank you and Good-bye

Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Best Beginnings And Endings Quotes with images to share and download for free at QuotesLyfe

Friends, it is with a heavy heart that I am announcing that this will be my last blog post. I have written a blog post for practically every single day since my eldest son officially left our family’s nest to start out in his “real” adult life in 2018. We have gone through so much together, my readers, and you have been with me every step of the way. I love you with all of my heart. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate your support, and your validation. You have added so much meaning to my life and as much as I try, I do not have the words to fully convey the significance that this blog, and my readers hold in my life. Adulting – Second Half gives me a sense of purpose. It helps me to better understand myself, and others, while I am going through this very transitional stage of my life. The blog, in many ways, has been a lifesaver for me, in the sense of helping me to get back to “myself”, instead of just getting all of my identity from my various roles that I hold and I “play” in my life. I hope that you all have “a blog” in your lives, if not a literal blog, than a figurative one, which speaks to the deepest part of your being and to your most creative force. In some ways, I consider this blog to be one of my babies. And anyone who knows me well, knows how fiercely I love my babies.

Why is this my last blog post, you ask? Because it is April 1st. And in the words of Ashton Kutcher, you have just been “punk’d.” Do you honestly think that I would give up this blog and you, and everything which I just explained that it all means to me, without a major fight??? I’m a fire sign and my fire burns brightly. You aren’t getting rid of me anytime soon. Other than the part about today being my last blog post, everything else that I wrote about you, and about my blog, was the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me God. I adore Adulting -Second Half and I adore you. Happy April Fools Day! Don’t be angry. Just groan and giggle. See you tomorrow.

Tuesday Tidbits

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+ I have seen “Not all those who wander are lost” before, but I had never seen the whole verse, nor did I realize that it was written by J.R.R. Tolkien. I love it. I love all of it. I am a bit of a wanderer. I get bored easily. All this being shut in, is starting to make me want to burst. I sat next to the most colorful character at the nail salon the other day. We were all wearing masks of course, but this woman was also wearing a big, elaborate, flamboyant orange hat and her loyal, chubby little dachshund sat at her side, as still as a statue. Apparently, she had ties to Hollywood and whether true or not, her stories were entertaining and enthralling. I have often dubbed myself, “freak magnet,” which is not very nice of me at all. Honestly, I love the “freaks” in the world. I’m probably kind of freaky. I think we all have some “freak” in us, and the freer ones among us, let it fly. People tend to open up to me and tell me their fascinating, intimate stories, and I love it. The other day at the salon, I realized how much I miss that element of my life. Like the flowers starting to bloom, my fascinating encounters with interesting strangers are soon coming back into play as more and more of us get vaccinated, this I hope. Hope springs eternal.

+My word of the day from Word Genius was “amuse-gueule” which means, “a small savory item of food served as an appetizer before a meal.” It struck me that this is the first time I have seen “savory” used in a positive way, in a long, long time. Usually it’s used in an emphasized negative form – “He’s such an unsavory character,” or “That’s not a savory place to go.” It must really suck to be a positive word, always used in a negative way. Savory is going, “Geesh, I’m supposed to mean delicious, and scrumptious. Let’s keep it positive, guys!” (See, I told you that I’m kind of freaky. Words don’t really talk.)

+I took a little Ted talk lesson this morning on “The Dunning-Krueger effect”. That’ll bring you down to earth, real fast. The Dunning-Krueger effect speaks to the idea that most of us think we are better at most things, than any of us really are, at doing anything. In short, all of us think that we are above average humans, which is statistically impossible. Apparently, we are all amazing drivers on the road. HA! The supposed remedy to this damn humbling rule of humanity is 1.) Keep learning and 2.) Be willing to ask for, and to consider constructive criticism. Oh, fun. HA! On this note, I have a new favorite phone game which I will tell you about on Favorite Things Friday. It is called Redecor. I love the game, in an obsessive, stalky way, but like a friend full of brutal candor, Redecor has helped me to discover that “The Dunning-Krueger effect”, is indeed a real thing. A couple of 9th places out of 10, will do that to you.

Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Monday Fun-Day

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(credit: Rex Masters, Twitter)

These are called Pup-Cakes. They are almost too cute to eat. But on a Monday, these wouldn’t last until my second cup of morning coffee.

Speaking of food, I saw this on a sign the other day:

“Be soul food, not eye candy.”

I think it is okay to be both, but soul food is the preference. Soul food is much more nourishing. I’m wishing for all of us, the best Monday that we have ever had in our lives. (I’m setting the bar low.) See you tomorrow!

Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Soul Sunday

Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Good morning soulmates! Yesterday, I spent the afternoon at the beach with my husband and my daughter and our two male dogs, who are both natural water dogs. It was a wonderful day for all of us, and my husband pointed out that it is noticeably calmer and more quiet here this morning, than it is most mornings. There was a lot of energy expended at the beach yesterday, which tired us all out, but I also think that being at the beach works like a “reset button”, to balance us back to our own natural rhythms, in sync with the nature all around us.

My regular readers know that Sundays are devoted to poetry here at Adulting – Second Half. On Sundays, I write a poem or I share a poem written by another writer. I strongly encourage you to write a poem today. Share your poem here if you like, or just share with yourself. Poetry is a form of writing which is typically more connected with your emotional side and being. It is hard to write or to read poetry, without getting your heart involved, and we all know that it is good to stretch your heart muscles. Here is my poem for today:

Yesterday was different this time.

The waters were calm. The winds were even.

I looked out into the horizon and I understood,

That it was okay for me to be on my ship,

And for you to be on yours,

Perhaps never to sail together again.

Despite our different journeys,

Despite our different vessels,

Once formed out of the same timber, from the same tree.

As I looked up into the even, placid sky,

And I gazed at the early, brave, bright moon,

It occurred to me that we all share the same starry navigator,

As we take our individual journeys, throughout the waters,

Sometimes rough and stormy,

Other times smooth and clear and calm,

Until it is time to return to the safe port of our heavenly home,

Where only Love resides, and where the Tree of All,

Still stands tall at the endless shore,

Where the planks and the boards all melt back into the Tree,

As if they were never separated from her graceful form,

Holding all of the stories from all of the ships’ adventures,

Soundly and effortlessly, in the wide, sturdy trunk of All That Is.

The Definition of Beauty

I watched a snippet of an interview Oprah Winfrey was having with Sharon Stone. Sharon Stone has written a recently released memoir. In the snippet, Sharon Stone was saying that after having a stroke, and being told that she was pretty much “over” in Hollywood, she realized that she had lost her “beauty.” Oprah asked her to clarify this, “What do you mean you lost your “beauty”? Sharon Stone told Oprah that it was not so much that she had lost her physical beauty, as she had lost her “radiance”, her “magnetism”, her “presence” and her “vibrancy.” Both women concluded that it is these attributes which really make a person attractive. And they both agreed that radiance, magnetism, presence and vibrancy all come from health, well-being and confidence from within.

Yesterday, I had a good day. I saw a glimmer of confidence and hope and excitement, everywhere I went. People are really starting to believe that there is an end in sight to all of the limits that have come with the pandemic. I could feel it. Nothing in my physical world was different. Everyone was still wearing masks, but the energy had subtle changes. There was a lightness, an optimism in the air. Maybe I was feeling this way, and so this is how my outside world appeared to me. I’m not sure, but for whatever reason, yesterday, the world seemed more beautiful to me, than it had seemed in a long, long while. And when I say beautiful, what I really mean is radiant and magnetic and vibrant. Life is coming back to life. I feel it inside of me, and I feel it outside of me. We are well on the way to healing from this past unfathomable year, my friends. And this healing is radiating, and vibrating, and bringing all of our lives out into full, mesmerizing color, once again.

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Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

It Just Blooms

On my to-do list for today, is to get a birthday card in the mail for my cousin’s little girl who is soon to turn two. Imagine being two these days. Everything is so completely different than when I was two, or even when my children were two years old. Technology is moving at such a rapid rate. It’s only in the last twenty years that inventions like smartphones, Google, Facebook, electric cars and Bluetooth have become part of mainstream society. Who knows what’s next? I have never had a scientific type of mind, but I am eager to see what is coming up for all of us, around the corner, most likely in rapid succession.

It’s when I consider all of these rapid changes in the world, that I get really annoyed at myself, and at others, when we start saying disparaging things about younger generations. Who are we to judge? Who are we to say what we would have been like, if the internet, Facebook, Instagram and digital cameras were part of our growing up experience? When you start comparing generations, you are never doing an apples to apples comparison. A truly scientific experiment would require that all of the outside variables be exactly the same, and that’s not possible with human beings, not even for identical twins in the same family.

Why do we humans have such a need to make comparisons? If we are honest with ourselves, it is either to make up for insecurities in ourselves (feeling better than), or to validate our own poor opinions of ourselves (feeling less than). Neither comparison does anything productive for us, or for anybody else. Comparison is only helpful when it is inspiring and inclusive. That kind of positive comparison is just an act of witnessing and discerning whether you say, “Gee, I want some of that. How do I get something like that for myself?” or “Wow, that’s interesting. It’s not for me, but variety is the spice of life.”

There is such an emphasis today on “likes” and “claps” and “followers”, but in our frenzy for approval, do we ever really stop and ask ourselves why? Is something only good for us, and interesting to us, and exciting for us, if other people say that it is? How much time are we spending talking to others about our lives, posting “stuff” about our lives, always justifying our opinions about things, versus actually just living our lives? If we are making a living from our “likes”, “claps” and “followers” then it follows that the court of public opinion, should sway our choices, I suppose. But then that just turns our own life into a commodity, being shaped by forces that aren’t really authentic to our truest selves. When we are so focused on the “likes”, “claps” and “followers” of any life decision that we make, we are no longer living our true life, but more of an empty image, that changes with the wind. And also, when the people who are making their own lives/selves, their “product”, and are then, exposed to be something different than what they are portraying, everyone feels disappointed and deceived. We see this happen time and time again.

When someone I love asks me to help them with a dilemma they are experiencing, I offer my opinion (sometimes too quickly and boisterously and annoyingly – I own this about myself. Thank you for still loving me, my peeps) but I also like to remind the person that if they put their question “out there”, they are likely to get half the world agreeing with their actions, and half the world disagreeing with their actions. Even if a majority vote leans one way or another, what does that really matter? The only thing that really matters when making a decision about your life, is what deeply resonates with yourself, at your very core. If you put the focus back on what resonates with yourself, versus what generates a bunch of “approval”, you will experience your deepest, most sacred connection to your own self and your own life. Authenticity never requires approval. It just is.

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Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.