Thank you and Good-bye

Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

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Friends, it is with a heavy heart that I am announcing that this will be my last blog post. I have written a blog post for practically every single day since my eldest son officially left our family’s nest to start out in his “real” adult life in 2018. We have gone through so much together, my readers, and you have been with me every step of the way. I love you with all of my heart. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate your support, and your validation. You have added so much meaning to my life and as much as I try, I do not have the words to fully convey the significance that this blog, and my readers hold in my life. Adulting – Second Half gives me a sense of purpose. It helps me to better understand myself, and others, while I am going through this very transitional stage of my life. The blog, in many ways, has been a lifesaver for me, in the sense of helping me to get back to “myself”, instead of just getting all of my identity from my various roles that I hold and I “play” in my life. I hope that you all have “a blog” in your lives, if not a literal blog, than a figurative one, which speaks to the deepest part of your being and to your most creative force. In some ways, I consider this blog to be one of my babies. And anyone who knows me well, knows how fiercely I love my babies.

Why is this my last blog post, you ask? Because it is April 1st. And in the words of Ashton Kutcher, you have just been “punk’d.” Do you honestly think that I would give up this blog and you, and everything which I just explained that it all means to me, without a major fight??? I’m a fire sign and my fire burns brightly. You aren’t getting rid of me anytime soon. Other than the part about today being my last blog post, everything else that I wrote about you, and about my blog, was the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me God. I adore Adulting -Second Half and I adore you. Happy April Fools Day! Don’t be angry. Just groan and giggle. See you tomorrow.

Tuesday Tidbits

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+ I have seen “Not all those who wander are lost” before, but I had never seen the whole verse, nor did I realize that it was written by J.R.R. Tolkien. I love it. I love all of it. I am a bit of a wanderer. I get bored easily. All this being shut in, is starting to make me want to burst. I sat next to the most colorful character at the nail salon the other day. We were all wearing masks of course, but this woman was also wearing a big, elaborate, flamboyant orange hat and her loyal, chubby little dachshund sat at her side, as still as a statue. Apparently, she had ties to Hollywood and whether true or not, her stories were entertaining and enthralling. I have often dubbed myself, “freak magnet,” which is not very nice of me at all. Honestly, I love the “freaks” in the world. I’m probably kind of freaky. I think we all have some “freak” in us, and the freer ones among us, let it fly. People tend to open up to me and tell me their fascinating, intimate stories, and I love it. The other day at the salon, I realized how much I miss that element of my life. Like the flowers starting to bloom, my fascinating encounters with interesting strangers are soon coming back into play as more and more of us get vaccinated, this I hope. Hope springs eternal.

+My word of the day from Word Genius was “amuse-gueule” which means, “a small savory item of food served as an appetizer before a meal.” It struck me that this is the first time I have seen “savory” used in a positive way, in a long, long time. Usually it’s used in an emphasized negative form – “He’s such an unsavory character,” or “That’s not a savory place to go.” It must really suck to be a positive word, always used in a negative way. Savory is going, “Geesh, I’m supposed to mean delicious, and scrumptious. Let’s keep it positive, guys!” (See, I told you that I’m kind of freaky. Words don’t really talk.)

+I took a little Ted talk lesson this morning on “The Dunning-Krueger effect”. That’ll bring you down to earth, real fast. The Dunning-Krueger effect speaks to the idea that most of us think we are better at most things, than any of us really are, at doing anything. In short, all of us think that we are above average humans, which is statistically impossible. Apparently, we are all amazing drivers on the road. HA! The supposed remedy to this damn humbling rule of humanity is 1.) Keep learning and 2.) Be willing to ask for, and to consider constructive criticism. Oh, fun. HA! On this note, I have a new favorite phone game which I will tell you about on Favorite Things Friday. It is called Redecor. I love the game, in an obsessive, stalky way, but like a friend full of brutal candor, Redecor has helped me to discover that “The Dunning-Krueger effect”, is indeed a real thing. A couple of 9th places out of 10, will do that to you.

Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Monday Fun-Day

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(credit: Rex Masters, Twitter)

These are called Pup-Cakes. They are almost too cute to eat. But on a Monday, these wouldn’t last until my second cup of morning coffee.

Speaking of food, I saw this on a sign the other day:

“Be soul food, not eye candy.”

I think it is okay to be both, but soul food is the preference. Soul food is much more nourishing. I’m wishing for all of us, the best Monday that we have ever had in our lives. (I’m setting the bar low.) See you tomorrow!

Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Soul Sunday

Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Good morning soulmates! Yesterday, I spent the afternoon at the beach with my husband and my daughter and our two male dogs, who are both natural water dogs. It was a wonderful day for all of us, and my husband pointed out that it is noticeably calmer and more quiet here this morning, than it is most mornings. There was a lot of energy expended at the beach yesterday, which tired us all out, but I also think that being at the beach works like a “reset button”, to balance us back to our own natural rhythms, in sync with the nature all around us.

My regular readers know that Sundays are devoted to poetry here at Adulting – Second Half. On Sundays, I write a poem or I share a poem written by another writer. I strongly encourage you to write a poem today. Share your poem here if you like, or just share with yourself. Poetry is a form of writing which is typically more connected with your emotional side and being. It is hard to write or to read poetry, without getting your heart involved, and we all know that it is good to stretch your heart muscles. Here is my poem for today:

Yesterday was different this time.

The waters were calm. The winds were even.

I looked out into the horizon and I understood,

That it was okay for me to be on my ship,

And for you to be on yours,

Perhaps never to sail together again.

Despite our different journeys,

Despite our different vessels,

Once formed out of the same timber, from the same tree.

As I looked up into the even, placid sky,

And I gazed at the early, brave, bright moon,

It occurred to me that we all share the same starry navigator,

As we take our individual journeys, throughout the waters,

Sometimes rough and stormy,

Other times smooth and clear and calm,

Until it is time to return to the safe port of our heavenly home,

Where only Love resides, and where the Tree of All,

Still stands tall at the endless shore,

Where the planks and the boards all melt back into the Tree,

As if they were never separated from her graceful form,

Holding all of the stories from all of the ships’ adventures,

Soundly and effortlessly, in the wide, sturdy trunk of All That Is.

The Definition of Beauty

I watched a snippet of an interview Oprah Winfrey was having with Sharon Stone. Sharon Stone has written a recently released memoir. In the snippet, Sharon Stone was saying that after having a stroke, and being told that she was pretty much “over” in Hollywood, she realized that she had lost her “beauty.” Oprah asked her to clarify this, “What do you mean you lost your “beauty”? Sharon Stone told Oprah that it was not so much that she had lost her physical beauty, as she had lost her “radiance”, her “magnetism”, her “presence” and her “vibrancy.” Both women concluded that it is these attributes which really make a person attractive. And they both agreed that radiance, magnetism, presence and vibrancy all come from health, well-being and confidence from within.

Yesterday, I had a good day. I saw a glimmer of confidence and hope and excitement, everywhere I went. People are really starting to believe that there is an end in sight to all of the limits that have come with the pandemic. I could feel it. Nothing in my physical world was different. Everyone was still wearing masks, but the energy had subtle changes. There was a lightness, an optimism in the air. Maybe I was feeling this way, and so this is how my outside world appeared to me. I’m not sure, but for whatever reason, yesterday, the world seemed more beautiful to me, than it had seemed in a long, long while. And when I say beautiful, what I really mean is radiant and magnetic and vibrant. Life is coming back to life. I feel it inside of me, and I feel it outside of me. We are well on the way to healing from this past unfathomable year, my friends. And this healing is radiating, and vibrating, and bringing all of our lives out into full, mesmerizing color, once again.

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Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

It Just Blooms

On my to-do list for today, is to get a birthday card in the mail for my cousin’s little girl who is soon to turn two. Imagine being two these days. Everything is so completely different than when I was two, or even when my children were two years old. Technology is moving at such a rapid rate. It’s only in the last twenty years that inventions like smartphones, Google, Facebook, electric cars and Bluetooth have become part of mainstream society. Who knows what’s next? I have never had a scientific type of mind, but I am eager to see what is coming up for all of us, around the corner, most likely in rapid succession.

It’s when I consider all of these rapid changes in the world, that I get really annoyed at myself, and at others, when we start saying disparaging things about younger generations. Who are we to judge? Who are we to say what we would have been like, if the internet, Facebook, Instagram and digital cameras were part of our growing up experience? When you start comparing generations, you are never doing an apples to apples comparison. A truly scientific experiment would require that all of the outside variables be exactly the same, and that’s not possible with human beings, not even for identical twins in the same family.

Why do we humans have such a need to make comparisons? If we are honest with ourselves, it is either to make up for insecurities in ourselves (feeling better than), or to validate our own poor opinions of ourselves (feeling less than). Neither comparison does anything productive for us, or for anybody else. Comparison is only helpful when it is inspiring and inclusive. That kind of positive comparison is just an act of witnessing and discerning whether you say, “Gee, I want some of that. How do I get something like that for myself?” or “Wow, that’s interesting. It’s not for me, but variety is the spice of life.”

There is such an emphasis today on “likes” and “claps” and “followers”, but in our frenzy for approval, do we ever really stop and ask ourselves why? Is something only good for us, and interesting to us, and exciting for us, if other people say that it is? How much time are we spending talking to others about our lives, posting “stuff” about our lives, always justifying our opinions about things, versus actually just living our lives? If we are making a living from our “likes”, “claps” and “followers” then it follows that the court of public opinion, should sway our choices, I suppose. But then that just turns our own life into a commodity, being shaped by forces that aren’t really authentic to our truest selves. When we are so focused on the “likes”, “claps” and “followers” of any life decision that we make, we are no longer living our true life, but more of an empty image, that changes with the wind. And also, when the people who are making their own lives/selves, their “product”, and are then, exposed to be something different than what they are portraying, everyone feels disappointed and deceived. We see this happen time and time again.

When someone I love asks me to help them with a dilemma they are experiencing, I offer my opinion (sometimes too quickly and boisterously and annoyingly – I own this about myself. Thank you for still loving me, my peeps) but I also like to remind the person that if they put their question “out there”, they are likely to get half the world agreeing with their actions, and half the world disagreeing with their actions. Even if a majority vote leans one way or another, what does that really matter? The only thing that really matters when making a decision about your life, is what deeply resonates with yourself, at your very core. If you put the focus back on what resonates with yourself, versus what generates a bunch of “approval”, you will experience your deepest, most sacred connection to your own self and your own life. Authenticity never requires approval. It just is.

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Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Take A Moment

Happy Birthday to my brilliant, beautiful, confident, talented, loving, level-headed, dream of a daughter come true!!! I love you with all of my heart. You are incredible.

***** On a more somber note, my heart is with all of those who have been traumatized by the horrible mass shootings that have happened in rapid succession these last few weeks. While so many of us are craving getting back to “normal”, I don’t think any of us are wanting mass shootings and violence to come back on to the regular scenery of our lives. My fervent prayer is for guidance on how to stop these senseless tragedies. But sometimes I think that we may already know the answer to that prayer. On an individual level, it is our own responsibility to create peace and happiness for ourselves. When we each have a core of peace and happiness, that is the energy that emanates from us, that is the energy that is given from us, and that is the energy which heals and uplifts the world, when it is felt in totality, and generated by the masses. That is what my 2021 tagline is meant to communicate:

Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

We are all sharing this beautiful world. Therefore we must each take individual responsibility for our own unique part, in this co-creation of our collected lives. It’s easy to say, “Well, I didn’t shoot anybody.” And most of us don’t stoop to that horrifying level of pain and aggression, but how many times are we sarcastic with our spouses? How many times are we dismissive of our children or short-tempered with people we work with? How many times are we passive aggressive with our friends, or perhaps, on social media posts? How many times do we treat the person who is waiting on us at the store as a machine, as we chat on our phones through the whole transaction? How many times do we mindlessly fill our own bodies with empty, unhealthy calories, instead of tall glasses of water? We have so many choices in our individual days, to take a pause, and to decide whether our next action is one coming from love, or one coming from pain. We are quick to judge other people’s actions. But if we stayed in our own lanes for one day, and really consciously and detachedly looked at each action that we decide to take throughout the day, we might be a bit aghast at how much pain we have a tendency to leak out into the world. And all of that pain adds up. All of those little drips of unhealed pain that we are unwittingly putting “out there” can lead to the crescendos of chilling pain that we witness in society today. At the same token, love works the same way. When we read stories about heroic acts, and kindnesses shown to strangers, we get inspired. We want to be part of that loving experience. We are quick to volunteer our time and our resources to a worthy cause because we are inspired by others’ loving actions. How many times a day do we say encouraging, thoughtful things to our families and friends? How many times a day do we take moments to rest our bodies, or to stretch our bodies, or to drink that tall glass of water? How many times do we make eye contact and offer a compliment to the kind person waiting on us at the store, or to the homeless person sitting outside of the store? Those loving actions all add up, too, and the energy of that Love flows out into the energy of Life, which we are all co-creating. And Love is infinitely more powerful than any hate. Pain waits for us to be unconscious and lazy in our thoughts and then in our actions, so that it can creep out a little bit more and a little bit more, sometimes leading to destructive acts like what happened in Colorado last night. And then pain and hate laughs, devilishly, at our shock and our dismay about the utter awfulness. But the thing about these eruptions of pain and destruction, is that they tend to be smothered by Love. The people of Boulder will hold each other, and they will help each other, and they will heal each other, and prayers will abound. We prove it to ourselves again and again and again. Love always conquers fear and pain. Love reigns supreme. Love becomes even more powerful when it is shared and multiplied. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to reach a point in history, where we no longer have to prove that Love destroys pain? Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we didn’t even have statements that say that Love dominates? “Love dominates” – That sounds like a silly oxymoron. Love Is. Love Is. Love Is.

I mentioned the song “Shameika” by Fiona Apple, recently in my blog. In the music video, the first couple of minutes the real Shameika, firmly, calmly, peacefully says, “Take a moment.” This really stuck with me. Lately, before I say something to someone, or before I send a text, or before I put something in my mouth, or before I put something in my shopping cart, I breathe and I hear Shameika’s voice saying, “Take a moment.” And then, in that lucid moment which I am taking, I try to reflect, in a detached way, whether my next action is one of pain, or is one of Love. It is my responsibility to heal my own pain, so that I can be a clear vessel for Love. I can’t heal anyone else’s pain, but I can work towards making sure that my own pain, isn’t adding to another person’s pile of pain. If I determine that I was about to act out of my pain, that means that I have to take a look at my thoughts to see where that pain is coming from. It is a reminder for me to try to work through that pain with acts of Love, towards myself and towards others. This takes a lot of consciousness and honest effort. It’s so much easier to focus on other people’s “stuff”, and what I think that they should do and should be, but that it is pointless and fruitless. We’ve each been given one life, one vessel for Love. That’s a huge responsibility, in itself. But if we each did our part, the light flowing through all of us would expose all the darkness as nothing, just nothing. Light shines the dark away. Love Is. Love Is. Love Is.

Hear Shameika’s “Take a moment” in the first minute of this video. It will stick with you. It’s the most important message I have gotten all year.

The Underduck – A True Story

Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

This weekend is all about underdogs, I can tell. I can feel it by what I have experienced already. I’ve always heard that Americans love “the underdog.” Doesn’t everyone?!? Last night we enjoyed watching some March Madness basketball. Experiencing Number 15 seed Oral Roberts beat Ohio State (who was the Number 2 seed) in overtime, was a thrill, to be sure. What a victory! That’s what’s so great about the March Madness tournaments. I’m not even a huge sports fan, but I get roped in easily, because this is one series of games where underdog victories are common enough to give high hope to any team, or to any person, or to any business, or even to any gambler who feels like an underdog, themselves. Victory is always, always possible. “If there is a Goliath in front of you, that means there’s a David inside of you.” – Carlos Rodriguez

When someone underestimates you, it’s so delicious. I love the look on people’s faces when I have surprised them with a level of depth, or a secret strength that they just didn’t expect from me. I also love to be deliciously astonished when I see something special in someone, which I didn’t perceive immediately. This phenomenon is what makes getting to know a person, interesting, even after many years. This year I have noticed a new level of swag, determination and grit in my sweet daughter’s demeanor on the tennis court. People who played her last year, are getting a whole new competitor this year, and they don’t expect it. It’s so fun to watch.

On Thursday evening, there was a storm stirring. My daughter ran in from letting the dogs out, to let me know that there was a lonesome little duckling swimming in the middle of the lake, which sits right beyond our back yard. There were no other ducks in sight. The duckling was cheeping loudly and swimming fiercely. Any time that we got near to it, the duckling would get frightened and swim away from the shores into the middle of the lake which unfortunately is alligator haven. My daughter and I felt so helpless.

I ran inside and I contacted a wildlife rescue organization. I was told to text a certain number with my situation. The person at the other side of the text, asked me to text back some pictures of the duckling. This is the best picture that I could get, as the little guy still had its black feathers and was swimming wildly away:

The uninspiring text which I got back in response to my picture was literally this:

“Yeah I really need to see markings, because unfortunately if it’s a muscovy it’s invasive”

I didn’t like the undertone of the text (at all), particularly since I have seen a fair amount of Muscovy ducks around my neighborhood. (they have a lot of red waddle around their faces) And let’s be clear, a Muscovy duckling is not a Burmese python. This moment reminded me of a thriller movie, where the heroine is breathlessly trying to discuss her fearsome plight to a police officer, or to a lawyer, or to a corporate human resource person, and then the heroine suddenly realizes, with a sinking look on her face, that the person that she is speaking to, really isn’t on her side. In fact, the heroine gets that nauseous, adrenaline filled feeling that she has to instantly shut up, and break away and run, as hard as she possibly can, right at that very moment. (I know that I can be a bit dramatic, at times, but a little bit of drama never hurt anyone.) In that spirit, this is the text which I immediately sent back:

“Oh, it’s fine. I think it made its way back to the reeds :)”

Now honestly, at that very moment, the little duckling was swimming valiantly. It was still in the middle of the lake, but it was making its way across the lake, towards a big stretch of reeds where we have seen groups of duck families rest, many times. The duckling was swimming at speeds that would have given an Olympic swimmer a run (or a swim) for the money. The weather then turned fierce, and we had to go inside. I would love to make up a Hollywood-type ending, but I am committed to the truth here. We haven’t seen the little duckling again. Still, I like to believe that he made it safely to the reeds and to the outspanned wings of some other ducks. I believe this is the best outcome for him, and a highly possible one. I love to root for the underdog! Or in this case, the underduck.

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Thought Provoking Thursday

Today, I am going to list the quotes which I have collected for my own thought museum, these past couple of weeks. These quotes all speak for themselves, and do not require commentary from me. Food for thought is delicious, nutritious and calorie-free. Devour!

“Most of us spend our lives as if we had another one in the bank.” – Ben Irwin

“Admire someone else’s beauty without questioning your own.”

“If your mind is empty, it is always ready for anything, it is open to everything. In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s mind, there are few.” – Suzuki Roshi

“Hope springs from realizing we are loved, can love and are love with skin on. Then we are unstoppable.” – Anne Lamott

“Focus on being productive, not busy.”

“True forgiveness is when you can say, “Thank you for that experience.” – Oprah Winfrey

“The saddest thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies.” – Think Smarter (Twitter)

“If you can’t find joy in a cup of coffee, you won’t find it in a Lamborghini.” – SeekMastery

“No one should have the power to ruin your day.” -Valencia (Twitter)

Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

How Do You Like Them Apples?

Yesterday, in reading about the winners of the Grammy awards, I ended up focusing on Fiona Apple. I probably spent a good hour of my day, reading various articles about Fiona, her music and her history. On this past Sunday, Fiona Apple won a Grammy award for Best Alternative Music Album (Fetch the Bolt Cutters) and Best Rock Performance (Shameika). She didn’t attend the Grammy Awards Show this year and she explained why, on her Instagram:

“It’s really because I don’t want to be on national television. I’m not made for that kind of stuff. I want to stay sober and I can’t do that sober.”

I have mad respect for that kind of honesty. I read that Fiona Apple once cancelled part of one of her tours, in order to be with her dying dog. She wrote a very loving and eloquent letter to her fans explaining her decision. Fiona Apple has been derided over the years for her blunt honesty, and for not going along with the showbiz game. If I were to focus on one area of the creative arts, which I imagine might be one of the toughest balancing acts, it would probably be for those geniuses in the musical arts. Many musicians are sensitive, empathic poets. Kurt Cobain comes to mind. Bob Dylan actually won a Nobel Prize for literature. “He can be read and should be read, and is a great poet in the English tradition.” (Sara Danius, Swedish Academy) Most musicians are compelled to write their lyrics and their music by uncontrollable forces from deep inside; forces perhaps not even their own. Many musicians love to perform their creations for massive crowds, but not everyone does. I was struck by this quote the other day:

“Writing is something you do alone. It’s a profession for introverts who want to tell you a story, but don’t want to make eye contact while doing it.” – John Green

Talented and discovered musical writers and performers, don’t have that choice of staying semi-anonymous, unlike perhaps writers and sculptors and painters. And because so many people crave the popularity and fortune of famous musicians, those who already have that respect and admiration, are considered ungrateful, and rude, and sometimes even “crazy”, if they do things to stay out of the limelight. Fiona once asked her manager if she cut off the tip of one of her fingers, would that get her out of touring? She was told that all she needed was a note from a psychiatrist.

Whatever you think of her personality, or of her unusual, edgy style of music, to me, Fiona Apple is a genius when it comes to lyrics. I imagine that this is the case because she is so completely unafraid of bare, authentic, brutal truths about herself, and of her experiences. Comedic geniuses do this calling out of the brutal truths of life, all of the time, but comedians hide this fact under veils of light-hearted laughter. People like Fiona, who do the baring of the soul, in a serious, somber tone, are often mistaken for “fragile”, yet really, which method is more brave? Facing the truth about anything, and bringing it into the light, is probably one of the most courageous things a person can do in life, no matter what style they do it. Saying the pure truth is rare, because it is brutally hard to do, even saying the truth to ourselves.

These are the lyrics of the award winning song “Shameika”:

I used to walk down the streets on my way to school
Grinding my teeth to a rhythm invisible
I used my feet to crush dead leaves like they had fallen from trees
Just for me
Just to be crash cymbals

In class I’d pass the time
Drawing a slash for every time the second hand went by
A group of five
Done twelve times was a minute

But Shameika said I had potential
Shameika said I had potential
Shameika said I had potential
Shameika said I had potential

I used to march down the windy, windy sidewalks
Slapping my leg with a riding crop
Thinking it made me come off so tough
I didn’t smile, because a smile always seemed rehearsed
I wasn’t afraid of the bullies
And that just made the bullies worse

In class I’d pass the time
Drawing a slash for every time the second hand went by
A group of five
Done twelve times was a minute


But Shameika said I had potential
Shameika said I had potential
Shameika said I had potential
Shameika said I had potential

Hurricane Gloria in excelsis deo, that’s my bird in my tree
My dog and my man and my music is my holy trinity
Hurricane Gloria in excelsis deo, that’s my bird in my tree
My dog and my man and my music is my holy trinity

Tony told me he’d describe me as pissed off, funny and warm
Sebastian said, I’m “a good man in a storm”
Back then I didn’t know what potential meant and
Shameika wasn’t gentle and she wasn’t my friend
But she got through to me and I’ll never see her again
She got through to me and I’ll never see her again
I’m pissed off, funny and warm
I’m a good man in a storm
And when the fall is torrential, I’ll recall

Shameika said I had potential
Shameika said I had potential
Shameika said I had potential
Shameika said I had potential

Tony told me he’d describe me as pissed off, funny and warm
Sebastian said, I’m “a good man in a storm”
Back then I didn’t know what potential meant but
Shameika wasn’t gentle and she wasn’t my friend
But she got through to me and I’ll never see her again
She got through to me and I’ll never see her again
I’m pissed off, funny and warm
I’m a good man in a storm
And when the fall is torrential, I’ll recall

Shameika said I had potential
Shameika said I had potential
Shameika said I had potential
Shameika said I had potential
Shameika said I had potential
Shameika said I had potential
Shameika said I had potential

The lyrics tell the story of how important words are to people. Words that encourage, words that notice, words that inspire, are often what keep people going. Sincere words often have the ability to coax out of others, their talents, their gifts, their joys – all which were meant to be shared with this world, making the world a more beautiful place than it ever was before.

Part of the reason why I write this blog is because a previous boss of mine called me “a wordsmith”, and an old neighbor told me she actually looked forward to my emails because she liked how I wrote them, and one of my dearest friends sent me a text one day, telling me that someday I was going to be someone’s favorite author. I have never forgotten these glimmers of inspiration, kindness and direction. I probably never will.

Who in your life has great potential? Who in your life needs to hear it? Who needs to hear they are “a good man in the storm”? Who needs to be told that their unique blend of “pissed off, funny and warm”, lights up your day? We all have been blessed with the “Shameikas” in our lives. And the beautiful thing is that our “Shameikas” probably don’t even know the major difference they have made in our lives and in our actions, by telling us that they “believe in us.” We all have probably also been unwitting “Shameikas” in many other people’s lives. Doesn’t that feel good? I really believe that the Universe mostly uses all of us as “Shameikas” (maybe like angels on Earth) to speak the whispers and the reminders of our life’s purposes and our own joys to us. The Universe can be subtle like that. Isn’t it a beautiful process to be part of, co-creating this beautiful experience we call Life, by supporting and seeing and noticing and admiring and commenting on with gratefulness, all what each of us brings to the Table? No gift should ever go unnoticed. And there are abundant gifts, everywhere, all of the time, from everyone and everything. Let’s speak to them, let’s call the gifts out, and let’s make them shine. Let’s be “Shameika”.

Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.