Hi friends. Happy Sunday. Sundays are typically devoted to poetry on the blog and most music is actually poetry. Last night, my husband and I were sitting outside by a fire and at first, we played some background music from foreign countries. We didn’t understand any of the lyrics because the were being sung in foreign languages, and yet the music still made us feel, the music still made us sway, the music still made us share its beat. Music truly is the universal language in this world. (I recently read that there is a sea lion who can bob along perfectly with various percussion beats better than most humans.) We ALL feel vibration. We ALL feel energy. We ALL feel the most unified when we are listening to music that everyone can appreciate. After a while, my husband wanted to get back to his favorite country music playlist and he played Zach Bryan’s Burn, Burn, Burn. I’ve heard the song many, many times, but I never really paid much attention to the lyrics. Last night I really listened to the lyrics. Last night I heard the lyrics. Last night, I felt the lyrics. Let this song be your poetry for today:
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
I had my eyebrows waxed the other day at a shop I had never been to before. The aesthetician who worked on me, I later found out was in her late forties, and she had only been an aesthetician for less than a year, but she did a great job and she clearly had a passion for the work. I asked her what she had done before this job and she said that for years she had been a server at high-end restaurants in Miami. She made a lot of money doing this, but the physical and mental stress was a lot, so during this time, she started taking credits for obtaining a nursing degree. About three quarters into schooling, the aesthetician realized that she did not want to be a nurse at all, so instead she went to school to become an aesthetician. The aesthetician was really personable and easy to talk to (she said that she honed this skill while waiting tables all of these years) and she answered all of my questions about skincare with obvious deep knowledge. For instance, she said that most skincare such as exfoliation or dermabrasion or laser treatments, are really about alerting/tricking/stimulating your own skin (the largest organ we humans possess) to “heal itself”. She excitedly told me about a vast array of products and what works and what doesn’t and the science behind it all. The aesthetician said that her classmates in beauty school were in awe of everything that she already knew about muscular structures, and skin, and nerves – things that they were just learning about. (She said that the Anatomy and Physiology courses that she took in nursing school finally paid off for her.) While conversing with her, it was clearly evident to me, that this woman was in her element. She had finally found her true calling.
At one point, the aesthetician said that she knew that she would lose all of her credits if she didn’t go back to nursing school and finish. She said that she felt like she had wasted a lot of time and money.
“But you found out that you don’t want to become a nurse, right?” I said. “I can see where it would be good to have something to fall back on, but you clearly love what you do. And from what you’ve shared, everything that you did before in your professional life, has brought you to this point, and enhanced your ability to be great at what you do and love, now.”
She smiled and nodded.
Nothing in our lives is in vain if we learn from it. I’ve been reading a lot lately about the importance of being in alignment with yourself and your OWN values – not your family’s values, nor your friends’ values, not society’s values, but to be in true alignment, you must be true to thine self.
Being out of alignment does not feel good. (That’s why there are chiropractors on every corner.) When you are out of alignment, nothing goes smoothly and easily. You always feel a little bit “off.” You feel your intuition pinging you constantly to get back on course, to be with your own true calling and nature. Alignment goes deeper than ego. When your ego is satisfied, it’s often a fleeting thing, that constantly needs another stroke from outside sources, in order to feel good. When you are in alignment with your values and your calling, you are in a state of peace, so that even when that peace sometimes gets rocked by things out of your control, it easily gets back to its familiar state of equilibrium and equanimity.
Are you in your alignment with your true self? If you are living “the shoulds”, or if you are living for “applause”, or if you are looking for things like money and beauty and material items and even relationships to fulfill you and fill all of your holes, then chances are you need an adjustment to get back in alignment with your one true self, in order to feel your best, and to be your best, and to give the rest of the world the best version of you, that only YOU can offer it.
“Just as your car runs more smoothly and requires less energy to go faster and farther when the wheels are in perfect alignment, you perform better when your thoughts, feelings, emotions, goals, and values are in balance. “ – BrianTracy
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
+ Yesterday I stumbled across this appetizer serving plate in a store that unfortunately had a small chip in it (as in a crack or break, not a Doritos nacho chip), and they didn’t have any other of these plates for me to buy. It said “Dipshit” and I thought that was totally hilarious. Looking for a similar plate online, I found all sorts of profane and hilarious plates and so I had my own private comedy hour (although I did text some pictures of the plates to friends, to laugh along with me. Laughter is best when it is multiplied.) The one that seemed to get the most laughs from all of us, was this one:
To be funny, humor always has to have a hint of truth in it. Sadly, many of us talk to ourselves this way, even when we are giving ourselves a “pep talk.” For example, the next time that you feel irritated with your mood, and you angrily scream at yourself “Could you just stay in the moment, and be peaceful for once???”, etc. remember this plate, and laugh. Laugh at yourself. Put your inner bitch to the side, and be kind. Be kind to yourself.
+ Our Boykin spaniel, Trip, is kind of a jerk. He’s our jerk and we adore our jerk, but he’s a jerk. Trip is bossy, boisterous, wary of anyone who isn’t family, attention-seeking, snappy, hyper, and overall, mostly obnoxious. His looks are adorable (he’s been compared to Bob Marley if Bob Marley were a dog), and Trip’s fur is luxuriously soft and he is the most affectionate dog whom I have ever lived with in my life (and I have lived with many a dog over the years). Still, overall, Trip is kind of a jerk. And we have mostly accepted this about him, since he is five years old and nothing about his mannerisms have changed all that much. So my husband and I were walking the jerk and the other sweet one (the beautiful, calm, elegant collie) last night, and we passed a man walking his dog, whom we have passed many times on the road, typically just greeting each other with waves and nods, but that’s about it. Yesterday night, the man stopped, just as Trip was pulling my husband in zealous zigzags, just as he does very night, except to occasionally enthusiastically kick up dirt and rocks with his back legs, just for the helluva it – a fun shower for us all. Sigh. The man yelled over to us, “I have to tell you guys that seeing your dog every night makes me so happy. It lifts my spirit. He’s like a happy, busy little kid. You guys are so lucky. He is so full of life. He makes me happy and filled with energy just watching him. Your dog is something special.”
Honestly, that might be the first genuine, amazing compliment that Trip has ever gotten from anyone outside of our family. We are used to the backhanded compliments about him, “Well, at least he looks cute . . . .” Trip didn’t understand the compliment. Nor would he care. Trip was busy putting his nose into a tortoise cave at this point. But I relished the compliment. I relished it because it was a reminder to look for the good in everything. It was a reminder that we all have different tastes in things, people, places, ideas, dogs . . . .and that’s what makes the world go around. It’s what makes the world interesting. The kind compliment was a reminder that a curse can also be a blessing, and that it is best to try to seek out and to focus on the blessing part, whenever we can. It was also a reminder to be like Trip. Trip doesn’t listen to the boos or the cheers (one of the greatest basketball players of all times, Bill Russell was booed almost nightly by racist crowds. His daughter asked him if he heard the boos and he told her this: “I don’t hear the boos because I don’thear the cheers.” Bill Russell was confident and comfortable in his own skin, He focused on what he did best, and what he loved, and he cancelled out the outside noise. Bill Russell didn’t need cheers to validate himself, and so the boos didn’t phase him.)
+ Here is a poignant quote from the classic 1970s book, How to Be Your Own Best Friend: ” . . . you have to make a very basic decision: do you want to lift yourself up or put yourself down? Are you for yourself or are you against yourself? This may seem like a strange question, but many people are literally their own worst enemy. If you decide to help yourself, you can choose to do the things that make you feel good about yourself instead of the things that make you feel terrible. Why should you do what gives you pain when it is just as easy to give yourself joy?” (To drive the point home, see exhibit one above, “plate.” To further drive the point home, see exhibit two above, “perspective.”)
“Don’t use errors as an excuse to beat yourself up. Use them as an opportunity to lift yourself up.” – Alan Cohen
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
I know that these reflections of Pope Francis are circulating widely on social media, but I have always looked at my blog as a thought museum. These beautiful reflections are A MUST for the archives here at Adulting – Second Half:
“The walls of hospitals have heard more honest prayers than churches… They have witnessed far more sincere kisses than those in airports… It is in hospitals that you see a homophobe being saved by a gay doctor. A privileged doctor saving the life of a beggar… In intensive care, you see a Jew taking care of a racist… A police officer and a prisoner in the same room receiving the same care… A wealthy patient waiting for a liver transplant, ready to receive the organ from a poor donor…
It is in these moments, when the hospital touches the wounds of people, that different worlds intersect according to a divine design. And in this communion of destinies, we realize that alone, we are nothing.
The absolute truth of people, most of the time, only reveals itself in moments of pain or in the real threat of an irreversible loss.
A hospital is a place where human beings remove their masks and show themselves as they truly are, in their purest essence.
This life will pass quickly, so do not waste it fighting with people. Do not criticize your body too much. Do not complain excessively. Do not lose sleep over bills. Make sure to hug your loved ones. Do not worry too much about keeping the house spotless. Material goods must be earned by each person—do not dedicate yourself to accumulating an inheritance…
You are waiting for too much: Christmas, Friday, next year, when you have money, when love arrives, when everything is perfect…
Listen, perfection does not exist. A human being cannot attain it because we are simply not made to be fulfilled here. Here, we are given an opportunity to learn.
So, make the most of this trial of life—and do it now.
Respect yourself, respect others. Walk your own path, and let go of the path others have chosen for you. Respect: do not comment, do not judge, do not interfere.
Love more, forgive more, embrace more, live more intensely! And leave the rest in the hands of the Creator.” —Pope Francis 🙏
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
I was going to wait until tomorrow to write this post. For years, when I blogged daily, I devoted Sundays on the blog, entirely to poetry, so that seemed like the apropos day to write about this gem which I have to tell you about. Yet, I’m too excited to wait until tomorrow. Yesterday, I devoured an entire book of poetry. And I’m not a huge poetry fan. The book which I read, is called I Am Maria by Maria Shriver. To be clear, I am not a big Kennedy family follower/fan. I have never read any of the other many books that Maria Shriver has written, but I can honestly say that I AmMaria is one of the best books that I have read in a long, long while. Every woman whom I know and I love, came to mind as I read Maria’s many, various poems. I believe that most women could relate to at least 20 percent of the book and most women would relate to a whole lot more of it. If you are a woman, a mother, a wife, a grandmother, a lover, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a God seeker, you will deeply relate to these honest, raw, vulnerable, authentic poems. It will inspire to open yourself up to your own inner poet. Do yourself a favor, and gift yourself this book. From one of Maria Shriver’s poems:
“I know I have the soul of a seeker.
The heart of a warrior.
The mind of a thinker.
The drive of a visionary.
And the spirit of a wild horse.”
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
” . . .stop sugarcoating our patterns and start lovingly confronting them – especially ones we’ve been romanticizing as coping mechanisms. What are you chasing out of comfort rather than alignment?” – Dosse’ – Via Trenou (Refinery 29)
When a ship gets completely off course in one direction or another, it is human nature for the hypercritical captain to charge out, screaming at the crew, bringing them to their knees, for the loss of direction. And it’s also human nature for the crew to get really defensive with the hypercritical voice of the captain. After all, there are a lot of reasons for getting off course, and a lot of them are not in anyone’s control. Unforeseen storms and squalls appear out of nowhere, and have to be dealt with before being able to navigate back to the journey towards the destiny.
So, it’s also human nature, when it finally becomes obvious to us, as individuals, that we have gotten a little or sometimes even “way off course” in our own lives, in one way or another, whether it be with our health, or our relationships, or in our careers, or our finances etc., or even a combination of areas, to have the captain of our own ships (our high strung demanding inner critic) start barking at us. “How could you let this happen? What is wrong with you? Look at this mess! You’ll never get to where you want to go!”
And then, appropriate to our human nature, our defensive inner crew of voices starts justifying our problems. We had unforeseen storms in our lives, pop up. Of course we gained weight, or lost money, or had a heart attack, or didn’t have time to nurture our relationships. We had fires on the deck to put out. These storms were scary. We needed coping mechanisms to deal with it. We were treading water. We are only human, after all.
And this is where our ships tend to get stuck in the water, circling in the same exact spot, over and over, where the inner critic captain is taking us down to dust at the bottom of the boot, and the defensive crew is justifying what had to be done to cope with life on the unpredictable waves of the sea.
Now, the challenge becomes to skillfully change captains. If we pick a healthy, compassionate leader who understands that life on the high seas can be difficult and unpredictable and we kick our irate Captain Nightmare Inner Critic to the curb, we can focus on getting back on course. No one has to be defensive and explanatory. We got to this point of the journey for many reasons, but the main thing is, we need to get back on track. It’s a waste of time to go back and forth berating ourselves, and then defending ourselves for things that have happened in the past. This keeps us stuck, right where we are, in a situation that we want to, or we need to change in our lives, in order to go in the direction of our dreams. We need a captain who steers us back to the journey towards our true north, with no more wasting time, lamenting on the hows and the whys of what got us off-course (other than to learn from our wrong turns, and mark them on the map, so we don’t repeat them).
Are you in alignment with where you want to go in your life? Or are you staying stuck in delusion, or in the unhealthy pattern of berating and defending yourself? Even if you start moving again, and you end up being a little off course, if you are a good steward to yourself, you will make course corrections as you move along, and eventually, you will get to exactly where you want to be.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
“We create to discover what we already know but cannot yet name.”
“Don’t be afraid to cut something. The best ideas are resilient. If it truly belongs in your work, it’ll find its way back.”
I took yesterday “off”. I did only the essentials and in the meantime, I read one and a half books. I love to laugh. (and I mean, LAUGH – not chuckling, not giggling – these are just small tastes of the real thing) Chapter two of Disaster Preparedness: AMemoir by Heather Havrilesky made me laugh until I cried. And then I decided to read it out loud to my husband at dinner, and I couldn’t read it to him, without snorting, and losing my breath with laughter. I belly laughed. He could hardly understand what I was reading, so he just laughed along with me. There are few better feelings than belly laughing.
The top two quotes are from a conversation that Kelly Corrigan had on her podcast with Pete Docter, the creator of the animated movies, Inside Out and Monsters, Inc. The first quote resonates in this way: I believe that I laughed so hard reading the chapter in Disaster Preparedness (which is about the author’s growing up in the 1970s/80s) because the author absolutely named feelings that I felt, growing up during that time period, as well. She “named” what I already knew and I had experienced long ago. That is what all artform and creativity is about, right? We allow ourselves to be a channel for the muses inside of us, and out pops something that speaks to us so intimately and intuitively, as if it was always there. We now have a “name”, or a “symbol”, or a “picture” or a “description” or a “song”, for what is swirling inside of us. And often it is these outcomes of our creativity (the name, the symbol, the picture, the description, the book, the song, the movie, the dance . . .) that makes us all feel connected. The dots get connected when we feel a familiarity, or a relatedness, or a knowingness with our own creations, and also with others’ creations.
Yesterday, I also read a memoir by the actress Ione Skye in its entirety. Ione is only a few months older than me, and she played in a lot of TV shows and movies with stars like John Cusack, Keanu Reeves, Matthew Perry and River Phoenix. Ione Skye hung out with the 80s supermodels and had a toxic relationship with Anthony Kiedis of The RedHot Chili Peppers and a short marriage to Adam Horovitz (Ad-Rock) of the BeastieBoys. Based on my (unconscious) book choices, I must be feeling nostalgic. What struck me most, while reading this particular book, was that I was experiencing all of these “blasts from the past.” There were many names that I had honestly forgotten all about, until I saw their names in print. This book named all of the BIG names, who were the BIG names in my impressionable, coming up years. I doubt my kids would have even recognized half of the people whom Ione Skye was writing about. I said to my husband, we really do live generationally. Yes, generations overlap like a venn diagram, but ultimately all of our most poignant frames of reference, such as world leaders, national and international major happenings, fashion, famous bands, famous actors, famous movies, etc., are shared primarily with the generation we grew up with. Yes it’s true, many generations experienced the pandemic, but my generation experienced the pandemic as middle aged people, mostly concerned for protecting their children, and also their elders. Reading these books yesterday, gave me a feeling of kinship with my own generation, like I haven’t felt in a while. These books (creations) helped me to discover this nostalgic, grateful, sentimental, loving feeling that I already know and experience deeply. (Gen X, I love you all.)
The second quote from above, doesn’t just apply to creating. I truly believe that if something that is meant for you to have, or to be experienced, it will happen. Don’t worry if you feel like you missed your first shot. Believe that if it is meant to be, the Universe, in all of its glory and wisdom will see to it, and guide you to it, along the way. Your dreams are planted in you, for a reason. I have so many examples and illustrations of this, in my own life. The first one that comes to mind, is the house I currently live in. In my married life, I have never lived longer in one home than in this one, and despite all of its quirks, and its aging bones, and its ever constant need for expensive updates and fixes, I love my home. I have never felt more at home anywhere else. My husband feels the same way. However, when I first visited this home, it was up for sale, it was entirely overpriced, it had a master bathroom that made me laugh out loud, and all there was to the landscaping, was trimmed up, bush-sized weeds. (even as my realtor and I left this home, both still giggling about its bright, bold gold lame’ tub, I had this weird, indescribable, knowing feeling that I would live in it one day.) Well, a few months later, the home which we were renting was being put up for sale by the owner, and we didn’t want to buy it. Our current home (the one I visited with the realtor), not being able to be sold for its ridiculous asking price, was up for rent, and was located just right around the corner from our rental, making for an easy move. We decided that we could live with a gold lame’ tub for one year. After one year, the house was growing on us (and also, we didn’t want to move again, being a family of six, plus a menagerie of pets). And so, we were able to get the beleaguered owners down to a fair price, and we purchased the home. Fast forward, 11 years later. Home Sweet Home.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
I have found that Thursdays are the days on which I am most drawn to writing on my blog. Maybe it’s because I have accumulated a lot in my head throughout the week, and before I chuck it all, and just enjoy my favorite, free-flowing Fridays, I decide that I must record some of what I have experienced and learned for posterity’s sake. (the older I get, the more I find that I must write things down. I probably will end up being one of those little old ladies who lives in a sea of colorful post-it notes, guiding her all along the way.) Speaking of writing things down, I was shopping yesterday, and I overheard two young women talking. The one young lady said to the other, “Oh, I need to get an address book.” And the other said, “For what?” And the first young lady answered, “For the wedding.”
Now this is one of those times that my evil, ever-present eavesdropping got the best of me, and I blurted out, “Girls, I have been married for over 30 years, and I still have my precious little “wedding box”. It’s like a recipe box that holds address cards. I just use colorful notecards to write down new people in my life, and also for the new addresses of the “old people” in my life. I know that we are supposed to computerize everything these days, but I honestly love my wedding box.”
The bride-to-be seemed absolutely delighted by my suggestion (sweet girl). She said, “Oh that’s a great idea! Thank you. I don’t like computerizing everything either.” (girl after my own heart)
Speaking of young ladies, lately I’ve noticed a beautiful trend on a lot of young ladies’ faces. I call it “subtle sparkle.” I have been the unfortunate experimenter of “splashy sparkle” throughout my life, but “subtle sparkle” is so much more lovely, and intriguing. One of my future daughter-in-law’s friends was talking to me, and as we were talking, I noticed her gorgeous green eyes especially. I then noticed just a hint of sparkle on her eyelids and I asked her if she thought that my crepey 54-year-old eyelids could pull it off. She insisted that I absolutely could (sweet, sweet girl) and she told me that it was Fenty Diamond Bomb AllOver eyeshadow. Ironically, this same week, a young lady was waiting on me at my local grocery store, and she carried the same kind of intoxicating, clandestine shimmer on her eyelids. She shared with me that her eyeshadow was Moondust by Urban Decay – Space Cowboy. I took this as a sign to buy. I am a true believer that we are never too old for a little shimmer in our lives. Try these out, friends. Let your light shine.
There are two more things that I need to record on the blog this Thinky Thursday: First, I read an excellent article this morning by Sasha Chapin who insists that true charisma is responsiveness. It’s a fact, isn’t it? I immediately thought of the people whom I consider to be the most charismatic people in my life, and what makes them so intriguing is that they are so utterly intrigued with life, and with other people. Sasha says this about one of his own most charismatic acquaintances: “He is remarkably compelling, largely because he seems captivated by everyone and everything around him. Everywhere he goes, there is more ambient energy.” Chapin also says this: “You might dismiss this as a trick, but unless you genuinely love people and are comfortable in your own skin, it’s a really hard trick to pull off.” Reading this article, I immediately thought of one of the most charismatic people I have ever known. Her name was Jodi and she was a high school friend of mine, and of everyone else’s. She has unfortunately passed away many, many years ago (she died soon after we graduated from high school), but I can still vividly picture Jodi’s sparkly eyes and her bright smile, to this very day. She was probably one of the most popular people in our high school, but not just with the popular crowd. Everyone loved Jodi and I believe that it was because when you were with her, she gave you her full, genuine attention. She was authentically responsive to everyone she met. She didn’t just put on a show. Jodi pulled you on stage, and made you part of her show. True charisma is responsiveness.
And here’s a final fun tip: Earlier this week I read a good article that compared our minds to overworked, overstressed, on-the-verge-of-burnout employees. We all have three elements to ourselves: Mind, Body, Spirit But we humans have a tendency to dump all of our decision making onto our poor, overworked, overstressed, overthinking, overanalyzing, on-the-verge-of-burnout Minds. Our Spirits are subtle. Our intuition rarely screams. Our Spirit prefers “subtle sparkle”, but it always knows what is best for us. And our Bodies are workhorses. Our Bodies go, go, go until they don’t have the choice but to finally scream out in pain. So, in order to give our Minds a break, and to give our Bodies and our Spirits the equal attention that they so full-heartedly deserve, here is interesting way to tune into what our Bodies and Spirits are trying to say to us. Use yourself as a human pendulum. Stand up and close your eyes. Take a deep breath. Think of a decision which you are having trouble making, and form this decision as a “Yes/No” question. Now notice if your Body is leaning forwards or backwards. At this moment, your relaxed Body is listening to the “subtle sparkle” of your Spirit. If it leans forward, the answer to your question is “yes.” If your Body leans backwards, the answer to your question is “no.” Now, of course, your overstressed, overworked, over analytical Mind is going to try to immediately take over and call all of this nonsense, but teamwork is dreamwork. Don’t necessarily dismiss what your Mind tells you, but make sure that you don’t dismiss what your Body and your Spirit are trying to tell you either.
That’s all for today, friends. Have a wonderful weekend. Shine on.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Me: Did you hear that Dolly Parton’s husband died?
My husband: Yes, and when I saw that news I thought to myself, Kelly’s going to dive deep into that one.
He knows me so well. I had already read about a dozen articles about Dolly’s marriage and extremely private husband. They were supposedly opposites, but they loved each other’s company. Dolly called Carl Dean, her husband, her “best friend” and she said that they shared a naughty sense of humor. While Carl Dean hated the limelight and he was, in her words, more of a “loner”, he always supported her decision to be a country music star and everything that comes with that profession. Carl told her that he had picked her, not the lifestyle, and that he would always pick her for the rest of his life. In one video, Dolly (who met Carl Dean when she was just 18 years old, and married him at age 20) spoke of the great comfort it is to come home to someone who clearly knows you, and who loves you for exactly who you are, when everything else is stripped away.
My favorite quote about Dolly and Carl was from a reddit thread from a couple of years ago. One redditor simply said, “They both got good ones.” I think that sums it up perfectly. Maybe for some, that is all that there is, to the simplest, best formula for a happily ever after marriage.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Kristin Fontana writes an excellent newsletter. She was talking about a conversation she watched between two “relationship experts.” Fontana said that what she got from the conversation was a definition of forgiveness which I have never heard before, but it really resonated with me. (I just knew that it had to come here to be a thought exhibit at Adulting – Second Half. ) Forgiveness is the memory without the emotional charge. Forgiveness is experience alchemized into wisdom.
The concept of forgiveness is a toughie, isn’t it? It’s a confusing concept. It’s hard because many times forgiveness is treated like an “all or nothing.” And there are so many contradictory pity statements floating around out there about forgiveness.
“Forgive and forget.” “Forgive but don’t forget.” “To err is human; to forgive, divine”. “When a deep injury is done us, we never recover until we forgive”. Oscar Wilde said this: “Always forgive your enemies – nothing annoys them so much.” When I looked up quotes about forgiveness, the AI overview said this, “There are many quotes about forgiveness, including the idea that it’s a gift, a constant attitude, and the final form of love.”
Ultimately, in order to forgive anyone or anything, we must let go of the emotional charge that comes from the memory of the incident or incidents. To let go, we have to be able to detach. To let go, we must be able to trust ourselves to go through the process of alchemizing our experiences, and the emotions that come from those experiences, into wisdom, and then to act on our deeper wisdom going forward. This process is probably one of the hardest lessons we humans ever learn. But when we don’t go through the process of forgiveness, we withhold love and peace from ourselves.
And also from Kristin Fontana’s newsletter, verbatim, is this lovely fable:
According to an old Native American Legend, one day there was a big fire in the forest.
All the animals fled in terror
Suddenly, the Jaguar saw a Hummingbird pass over his head, but it was flying toward the fire.
Moments later, the Jaguar saw him pass again, this time he was headed away from the fire.
The Jaguar asked, “What are you doing Hummingbird?
“I am going to the lake”, he answered. “I drink water with my beak and throw it onto the fire to extinguish it.”
The Jaguar laughed. “Are you crazy?” Do you really think you can put out that big fire on your own with your very small beak?”
“No”, said the Hummingbird, “I know I can’t.” “But the forest is my home, it feeds me, it shelters me and my family. I am very grateful for that. I am part of her, and the forest is part of me.”
I know I cannot put out the fire, but I must do my part.”
At that moment, the forest spirits who listened to the Hummingbird were moved by the bird and its devotion to the forest.
Miraculously, they sent down a torrential downpour, which put an end to the great fire.
The Native American grandmothers would tell this story to their grandchildren. Then concluded with, “Do you want to attract miracles in your life? Then do your part.”
“You have no responsibility to save the world, or find the solutions to all problems but to tend to your personal corner of the Universe.”
“As each person does that, the world will save itself.”
That’s all we really have to do, right? Do our own teeny part, and then trust the Universe to take care of the rest. The Universe is using each one of us, and our own unique individual gifts and talents, to bring up the whole, but we were also gifted with free will, so that we can choose to fly like the hopeful hummingbird, or we can sit in cynicism like the jaded jaguar. We can be brave enough to feel our emotions and set them free, and then march on with our deeper wisdoms into a brighter and lighter future.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
