inspiration Archives - Page 55 of 80 - Adulting: Second- Half

Friday Props

Happy Friday, friends!!! Happy Best Day of the week!! My daughter starts college in a week, as she opted to start her university experience, during a summer session. (I keep telling her, and myself, that she’s really just going away to summer camp. 😉 ) I drive a teeny convertible and we went shopping for dorm stuff yesterday. If I showed you all of the stuff that we were able to cram into said convertible (with the top up, mind up – it’s been crazy hot here the last few days), you would believe that clown cars are real, and not a trick. Seriously. I now believe in clown cars.

On Fridays, here at the blog, I don’t delve deep. I don’t want to think deeply on Fridays. Do you? On Fridays, I stick to the superfluous stuff in life. I list a favorite thing, or place, or book, or website, or movie, or beauty product. Please check out previous Friday posts for more favorites and please share your favorites with us in the Comments section. Sharing is caring.

Today’s favorite of mine is for the beach. I am one who likes to lie on my towel versus always being propped up in a beach chair. I like to feel the firmness and the heat of the sand underneath my towel, contouring to my body. That being said, I’ve often thought it would be nice to sit supported, while still being able to feel the firmness of the sand underneath the towel. So I was delighted the other day to find a beach pad that folds up for easy carrying ability, but has a rod so that you can sit up, or lie flat on the sand. This product at Kohl’s is similar to what I purchased:

https://www.kohls.com/product/prd-640029/picnic-time-beachcomber-beach-mat.jsp?skuid=90987225&CID=shopping15&utm_campaign=SUMMER%20FURNITURE&utm_medium=CSE&utm_source=google&utm_product=90987225&utm_campaignid=9733267174&gclid=Cj0KCQjwzLCVBhD3ARIsAPKYTcRGzc5MqUwwEixfiudqckKSaY8jepvspVfV3qBScW7YpiDyADfePAIaAtisEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

That’s what I love about new inventions. They don’t have to be high tech and they always make you think, “Duh, now why didn’t I think of that?”

Hope you are enjoying a great summer, friends!! Stay hydrated!!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Good Story

The other day, I was riding my bike around our neighborhood and I noticed several signs in many yards (similar to the one that we have in our yard) proudly announcing graduates. I naively thought that they were all high school graduates, and I was really surprised that we had that many teenagers living in our neighborhood, whom I didn’t know, but then with closer inspection, I noticed that a lot of the signs were from our local elementary school. So, in reality, there are quite a lot of fifth graders who live in our neighborhood. This makes more sense.

These yard signs for graduates are a relatively new phenomenon in our parts. We didn’t get them from the high school, when our three sons graduated from there. I think that the proliferation of yard signs mostly came about during the pandemic (so that kids could be celebrated, even from afar), and I think that they are wonderful! No doubts, the pandemic has been horrible, terrible, no-good, miserable, sad and unbelievable. Still, there are a few things that have come from the pandemic that I am grateful to have come into my life. I love the celebratory yard signs (I have seen a lot more of them for birthdays, and babies – more than I ever did before the pandemic). I love that my husband works a hybrid model now, spending a couple of days during the week, working from home. My husband is happier, and I like having someone else in the house during the week, sometimes, too. If I am running a lot of errands, I have peace of mind that my husband is home with the dogs, or that he can let in a person, who might be fixing something in our home. It’s definitely been a win-win, and a situation that we never dreamed could have happened before the pandemic. I have a gratefulness now for all of the everyday things that I used to mindlessly take for granted: toilet paper, cleaning supplies, meat. There is something to be said about noticing and appreciating the things that we used to just unconsciously count on being there for the taking. I sigh with relief and happiness that my local grocery store’s paper products and freezer sections are mostly full these days. And truthfully, I’m a little more hygienic than I ever was before. I am more careful in crowds. I use hand sanitizer like I never did before, and I think that these new habits have helped me to stave off a lot of germs, besides just the coronavirus. Even in the bad times, there are always kernels of good that come from these times. It has been proven to me, again and again, in my life’s experiences. No matter what concrete jungle you find yourself in, there is no doubt that you will find some little green, hopeful, resilient plant poking its plucky little leaves out from the teeniest of cracks in the dirty, grey concrete. There is good that defiantly grows out of bad, every time and everywhere.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Beliefs and Values

“For you to understand me, the first thing you should know about me, is that I am not you.” – Mindset For Life, Twitter

This quote is so key. The other day I read something interesting. It said that we all know and understand that we have a tendency to project our own negative qualities on to others, as a way to disown these qualities in ourselves. (That’s where the phrase, “Point one finger at me, and three fingers are pointing back at you” comes from.) When we are feeling particularly critical about something in someone else, there is usually some similar trait in ourselves that we strongly dislike, and we can get that insight about ourselves, if we are humble enough to play detective on our own selves, instead of focusing always on the faults of others. Even more interesting to me was that my reading also said that we also have the tendency to project traits that we do like about ourselves, on to others. We think that parents, or partners, or friends, or teachers, or bosses, should have certain likable, familiar traits, and so we often project these positive traits on to people, whether they actually possess these traits or not. Both projections make us feel safe and in control, but neither are rooted in reality. These projections do not make for authentic, healthy relationships.

The above quote also got me thinking about an interesting conversation that I had with a friend the other day. She works for her church, and she mentioned that her church’s denomination is having a lot of controversy within its membership about certain key issues. She mentioned that she, herself, was struggling with where she stood on some of these issues. We both talked about how difficult it is to get a consensus on anything, in any group. Even in my marriage, my husband and I don’t agree on every single thing. Trying to find just the right place to eat, or where to go on vacation was often tricky among our family of six, until my husband and I finally, out of frustration, used our executive privilege. (Raising four kids got me really familiar with the term, “herding cats.”)

That’s the hard thing about joining various groups, and thus being labelled as a member of that group. Do you honestly believe in every single platform of your own political party, or your own religious affiliation, or your own workplace’s stance on everything?? Are your beliefs so solid that they could never be changed, even as you grow and change, and as the world around you changes?

My weekly horoscope by Holiday Mathis said this: “Your beliefs, which are based on the best information you have in a given moment, will inevitably change as the world does. There’s no shame in this. Values, on the other hand, withstand the tests of time. Love, tenderness, beauty, harmony and teamwork are values represented in your week.”

Beliefs are different than values. With whom, and where, and doing what, do you spend most of your time and your energy and your resources? Whether you like it or not, these people and these things are what you value more than anything else. You may scoff, and say to yourself, “Well, I can’t stand my job, but I have to feed my kids.” That’s fair. You value supporting your family and their well-being. Is that a bad value?? It seems pretty virtuous to me. However, your belief may be, “I have to do this particular job, and I have to work these amount of hours to feed my kids.” Is that the truth? Is this particular vocation the only way to feed your family? Would it be possible to work at a different job, or to work less hours? Beliefs are flexible. They can be changed. Do your beliefs support your values? This is what is most important. Be honest with yourself about your beliefs, and see if they honestly support your highest values. If you value inclusiveness, do your affiliations support this value? If you value family time, do your career and your hobbies support this value? If you value health and fitness, do your habits support this value? Where can you alter your beliefs to better support what you truly value? And remember, this is a private project. Go back to the first quote, I used in today’s post. What I most value in life is probably different than what you most value, and that is okay. That is what gives us such amazing variety and contrast and unique experiences in this life on Earth, which we are living right now. Just make sure that you are living the values and the beliefs that are true to you, so that you don’t cheat yourself, nor cheat the world, of all of the variety and mélange that is deserved to be experienced by all of us, right here and right now!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Monday – Funday

Yesterday, my daughter had a graduation/going away party (she’s starting college at summer session in a couple of weeks) here with her friends. She insisted on a 1970s theme. The kids went all out. Their outfits were amazing. So was my husband’s. He got all decked out as John McEnroe. Unfortunately though, most of the kids didn’t get his costume. Most of the kids didn’t know who John McEnroe was – not even the tennis team kids. John McEnroe is 63 years old. Sigh.

One of my daughter’s friends bought her a compass bracelet. It was wrapped around a card that said this:

The Adventure Begins

Behind you, all of your memories.

Before you, all of your dreams.

Around you, all who love you.

Within you, all you need.

Friends, we are starting new adventures all of the time, whether we are 18 or we are 63. Stay in tuned with your compass. It will never steer you wrong.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Soul Sunday

Good morning. Please use today to soothe your soul, to reset your batteries, to clean the windows to your perspectives, and to fill your heart with gratitude. That’s what Sundays are really good for – the “re-words” such as rejuvenation, reinvigoration, renewal, revitalization, refreshment, and restoration. All of these words suggest “making new”. Use Sunday to make new of what is old and tired and clouded and fading in you. ReSunday yourself. It will be a lovely way to start the week.

Sundays are devoted to poetry on the blog. Poetry is mysterious, intimate, clever and open. Write some poetry today to help ReSunday yourself. You won’t regret it. Here is my poem for today:

“I Am A Witness“

I am old enough to have been a witness to a lot of things.

Perhaps this is the truest gift which our aging brings.

I am a witness to so much triumph over hurt and loss.

I am a witness to the intricate, such as a large rock covered in moss.

I am a witness to breathtaking natural beauty, day after day.

When I allow myself the time to watch the miraculous display.

I am witness to all of my own sensations,

I am witness to my feelings and frustrations.

I am the witness who feverishly writes it all down,

As my hair is graying, from its once rich brown.

It’s the witnesses who bring clarity to what has gone on,

Facts and perspectives, mixed and weighed upon.

So much time we play at being judge, jury and litigators,

When in truth, we are mostly natural witnesses and mitigators.

I am a watcher. I am a witness. I hear. I feel. I see.

Please share what you witness with yourself, and with me.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

The Kava Effect

Yesterday, I drove my youngest son to an urban area about 45 minutes away from our home, for his summer internship. He had to be there before 7 a.m. Since, this isn’t something that I do often at all, it was an interesting, eye-opening adventure. Before 11 a.m., I had hung out at a coffee shop, I had breakfast and then later a snack, and I had shopped in four different stores, in three different locations, including doing a bagful of returns. I literally texted my friends that I wish that I could become a morning person for this very reason. The efficiency was unreal because there were no lines in the stores, and no crowded streets, nor were there overrun parking lots. But alas, the downside of this was that I was exhausted by 6 p.m. on my beloved Friday. And truthfully, sleeping in this morning was 110 times more delicious than yesterday’s efficiency rating. Bummer.

Speaking of coffee, yesterday, the only coffee shop which was open that early, near to where I dropped my son off, was also a Kava bar. I initially strolled up to the bar and asked for my usual: black coffee and some water. I sat down at the bar next to several people, all at least half of my age. They all seemed to know each other, being locals from the neighborhood. Let’s just say that me, a 51 year old, who is not at all used to way early mornings, bleary eyed, who could easily be mistaken for a touchy “Karen” woman (on a bad day), in my coastal grandma style clothes, did not necessarily blend in with my youthful, energized, tattooed, pierced, urban chic, clearly from the local neighborhood cohorts at the counter. Not long into guzzling my first cup of coffee, someone rang a bell, and all of the people in the shop, picked up these little silver shells, sucked down the drink inside of these shells, and yelled, “Bula!” (which is a Fijian word offering good tidings) And that’s when my FOMO set in deeply. “I want one of those. I want to do that,” I said to the nice girl behind the counter named Scarlett, who had earlier told me that she was also a nursing student besides working in the coffee bar, and to whom I had already given a motherly lecture about not spreading herself too thin and keeping her stress levels to a minimum because nursing school is hard!!

And that’s when I noticed it happening, a phenomenon that is starting to happen to me more and more these days. I’ve become that cute, novelty, older, suburban lady who amuses her youngers by trying out “their stuff, on their turf”. “Okay,” sweet Scarlett said, with a kind, patient, nurse-type demeanor already. “We’re going to start you out with a low-tide (half a cup). Your tongue might get a little numb and you will probably feel a little relaxed. The Kava is going to taste a little bitter.”

“Omg!” I turned to the artistic looking young man on the side of me, who was wearing large gauges in his ears and donning fluorescent orange eye glasses. “Am I still going to be able to drive?” The locals all got some chuckles about that question. “You’ll be fine. It’s not a glass of wine,” he stated, drinking down his second full-tide of Kava. “But ma’am, please make sure that you drink a lot of water today, okay?” he said with a hint of protectiveness that warmed my heart.

The only effect that my little half-shell of Kava had on me was a diuretic one. Thankfully, none of the bathrooms in any of the stores which I perused after leaving the coffee shop were crowded either. But honestly, that’s a lie about the Kava experience, and it having little effect on me. I used to feel a little indignant, when I first realized that I wasn’t exactly blending in, with the younger crowds anymore. For decades of my adult life, I honestly felt like I had just graduated from college. When my own kids started towering over me, I started to get the clues that I had graduated from my own youthfulness. The indignance that I felt at first, is starting to morph into more of an acceptance, and at times when I feel a younger person’s respect for me, and amusement of me, and a protectiveness surrounding me, I even feel grateful. I realize that I have reached an age, when my younger counterparts have a lot to show me and to teach me, too, if I am willing to come at things with open mindedness. I am invested in hopefulness for the future of our young people. I am a mother of four of them. I believe that if we try to understand each other, instead of trying to dominate each other, there is an ability for all of us to grow together, and to create an amazing society, the likes which we have never seen before.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Balls, Pools, and the OFF button

We have this little spot in our neighborhood that is remote, and off of the beaten path. We can let our three dogs off lead and throw them tennis balls ad nauseum, to work off their seemingly endless energy. It’s a little buggy there, but that’s okay. It’s what keeps the patch of land from becoming overrun with people. When we are done playing fetch, our Labrador retriever, Ralphie, and our Boykin spaniel, Trip, tend to carry their tennis balls, in their mouths, all of the way home. The balls are gross and slimy, but the tennis balls almost act as pacifiers to our worn-out, sporty dogs.

Ralphie, our Labrador, also loves our pool and swimming in our pool, even more than he loves his tennis balls. We always joke that we have our pool for Ralphie. Islands of his fur tend to float around like the Great Pacific Garbage Patch, when our pool pump isn’t on. I often make the off-the-cuff remark that I wish I loved anything as much as Ralphie loves to swim.

But that’s not a nice remark, nor is it true. There are so many people and places and things in my life that I love every bit as ferociously and exuberantly as Ralphie loves to swim. It’s just that Ralphie doesn’t let any fear in, when he loves. Ralphie doesn’t swim around in the pool saying, “Damn, I love this pool so much, I hope that we never move, nor that I get too arthritic to swim, nor that a hurricane destroys my little chlorine haven.” Ralphie doesn’t allow distraction in, when he is doing what he loves. He doesn’t swim around the pool thinking about the state of the world and all of the horrors of the headlines. When Ralphie does what he loves, that’s just what he does. He embodies love. He soaks in love. He embraces love right in the moment. Sometimes when I watch other creatures in nature, I wonder if our human being’s thinking and reasoning abilities are truly a blessing or a curse? I need to use my own thinking and reasoning abilities to develop an “OFF button” for my brain, so that when I am with the people whom I love more than Ralphie loves to swim, and I am in the places which I love more than Ralphie loves to swim, and I am doing the things that I love to do, even more than Ralphie loves to swim, I can switch the Brain Button to OFF and I can just embody love. I can soak in the love. I can embrace love right in the moment. When I find that OFF button and keep it duct taped to OFF for some moments, I can get a little taste of peaceful, loving, eternity right in my own little patch of Earth. Isn’t that what we are always saying that we want anyway?

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Rootin’

Years ago, I had a friend whose “tagline” so to speak, was “I’m rootin’ for you!” He said it all of the time, and he said it to everyone. He himself had overcome huge obstacles in his own life, and he was delighted to help others overcome their own troubles and concerns. When I saw this fun picture on Twitter this morning, I immediately thought of this kind, wise man.

What a beautiful thing to be a cheerleader for people, and a cheerleader for their hopes and for their dreams. What a wonderful visual of the darling daisy happily blooming, with her strong happy roots beneath her. When we are rooting for someone, I always envision yelling and cheering and hoping and praying for their victories in life, but before seeing this picture, I never thought of rooting, in terms of physical “roots”. Physical roots gather sustenance for plants, in order for them to be nourished and to thrive, and physical roots anchor plants, to keep them firmly planted in the ground, in order to help the plants stay grounded, in times of vicious winds and storms. This is the first time which I realize that “rooting for someone” is so much more than shaking some pom-poms. Rooting for people is helping to create the ever spreading, energic foundation, for their own success and happiness in their lives. It helps ensure that they will always bloom again, even in times when they have been taken down to their very bottom levels. How blessed we are to have the ability to root for people. How blessed we are to have people out there, rooting for us. Readers, know this always: “I’m rootin’ for you!” The more we root for people, the more beautiful our collective garden grows. How blessed we are . . . .

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Warm >

I didn’t feel like watching TV last night, so the quotes below are what I ended up taking screenshots of, while I was scrolling through Twitter, while cuddling on the couch with my husband and our Boykin spaniel, Trip. We had just gotten back from our nightly walk, and it was humid as could be (summer in Florida, need I say more?), and I felt so hot and grimy and sticky. Trip was also panting heavily from walking in the heat, but that overheated feeling never stops Trip from cuddling. With Trip, snuggling beats staying cool, Every. Single. Time. Therefore, I happily welcomed hot dog fur on my leg, and equally hot air being panted on to my skin, as we both felt utterly refreshed by our restoring mutual love and appreciation. Trip is absolutely right, Snuggling > Cool and Aloof, every day, all of the time.

The first story which I clicked on, from my Twitter feed, was a tweet from one of my all time favorites, The Sheldrick Wildlife Trust, which is a sanctuary located in Kenya, Africa. The Sheldrick Wildlife Trust rehabilitates orphaned elephant babies and other orphaned species, until they are ready to be on their own in the wild. The stories that The Sheldrick Wildlife Trust typically sends links to on Twitter, are usually stories about how the various orphans were rescued, and came to be at the sanctuary. Last night’s story was about baby Vaarti (which means “luck” in the local dialect). Most of the babies at the sanctuary are found out in the wild, by searchers who fly over the land, or by reports from locals who see babies, desperately trying to survive out in the wild, who have sadly lost their mothers, usually to poachers or due to drought and other natural disasters. Typically, these babies are brought to the sanctuary by rescue missions utilizing trucks, and planes and helicopters. However, Vaarti was actually delivered right up to the stockades by a young, wild female elephant, who was too young herself to be Vaarti’s mother, but who recognized that he needed help. This precious, young elephant had the innate sense to deliver Vaarti right up to the gates of the sanctuary. Once that she saw that Vaarti was in the hands of safekeeping at the Sheldrick Wildlife Trust, she disappeared back into the bush, and was never seen again. Angels on Earth, come in so many different beautiful forms, don’t they? Big Hearts > Cold hearts, every day, all of the time.

This next little tweet is super sweet, and also quite heartwarming:

“This kid probably 8/10 years old asked politely if he could pet my dog, I said yes. After he pet her, he hopped on his bike, popped a wheelie and said, “that was for you, thanks for letting me pet your dog.” Highlight of my day, to be honest.” (maryxwetzel, Twitter)

This tweet has a 154,000 likes from a Twitter account that has about 5,000 followers. It seems to me that we are all pretty hungry, for the good, little heartwarming stories wherever we can find them, these days. Heartwarming little stuff, such as stories about pop wheelies > Cold hard facts, every day, all of the time.

And this last tweet, just cracked me up. As a middle-aged woman about to release her youngest little baby out into the wilds of college in a few weeks, my mood meter has, admittedly, been all over the map:

“I had a mood ring once. It died of confusion.” – (Anais Ninja, Twitter)

If I personally were wearing a mood ring lately, it most likely would explode and make a mess all over my hand. Giggles are great for mood regulation. Self deprecating, warm-hearted humor, and downhome funny > Cold and aloof and serious, every day, all of the time.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.