How Do You Spell It?

A friend of mine’s son just graduated from boot camp. In her pictures, my friend and her son look so full of relief. I think that relief is one of the most underrated emotions in the world. Relief feels almost as good as love and peace and happiness. Relief marks the end of suffering. Relief is when you finally get an answer to a question. Relief is finishing and crossing off all of the stuff that you have written on your to-do list. Relief is looking in the rear window of an event you had been anticipating and working towards for a long, long time, and then having completed it successfully. TUMS made “relief” their major selling point and marketing campaign. We love the feeling of relief.

In the beginning of the summer, I was feeling a lot of relief about the coronavirus. It seemed like it was really going to be behind us. All of my family and friends got vaccinated. We were even able to go on a nice family vacation, and out of the country, to boot. But now this damn Delta variant is ripping through my state. I personally know two vaccinated people who have tested positive for Covid. I believe that they are going to be okay, but it is so frustrating and disappointing and upsetting to be dealing with this virus, all over again, just when we were feeling so much relief.

I just read The Gift by Edith Eger, who survived the Auschwitz camp during the Holocaust. Edith said that a main reason why she survived the camp (she was found by the Allied troops, starving, on top of a pile of dead bodies) was that she was able to hold on to hope. She said that the definition of hope is knowing that suffering is temporary, and staying curious about what comes next. It is best to focus on how much relief we will feel when this coronavirus really dwindles down to not even being newsworthy. The hope and the anticipation of the wonderful feeling of relief (because all suffering is temporary) is what will sustain us through whatever else this pandemic brings our way.

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Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

The Definition of Beauty

I watched a snippet of an interview Oprah Winfrey was having with Sharon Stone. Sharon Stone has written a recently released memoir. In the snippet, Sharon Stone was saying that after having a stroke, and being told that she was pretty much “over” in Hollywood, she realized that she had lost her “beauty.” Oprah asked her to clarify this, “What do you mean you lost your “beauty”? Sharon Stone told Oprah that it was not so much that she had lost her physical beauty, as she had lost her “radiance”, her “magnetism”, her “presence” and her “vibrancy.” Both women concluded that it is these attributes which really make a person attractive. And they both agreed that radiance, magnetism, presence and vibrancy all come from health, well-being and confidence from within.

Yesterday, I had a good day. I saw a glimmer of confidence and hope and excitement, everywhere I went. People are really starting to believe that there is an end in sight to all of the limits that have come with the pandemic. I could feel it. Nothing in my physical world was different. Everyone was still wearing masks, but the energy had subtle changes. There was a lightness, an optimism in the air. Maybe I was feeling this way, and so this is how my outside world appeared to me. I’m not sure, but for whatever reason, yesterday, the world seemed more beautiful to me, than it had seemed in a long, long while. And when I say beautiful, what I really mean is radiant and magnetic and vibrant. Life is coming back to life. I feel it inside of me, and I feel it outside of me. We are well on the way to healing from this past unfathomable year, my friends. And this healing is radiating, and vibrating, and bringing all of our lives out into full, mesmerizing color, once again.

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And Then, My Response

“We can be good at approaching life with perspective. My husband says that ninety percent of what is beautiful, meaningful, and useful in the world is visible in a ten-minute walk. I love this, but it does not always ring true with my PhD in morbid reflection.” – Anne Lamott

I think that I may actually be Anne Lamott, and her husband, all wrapped up in one.

“In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.” – Albert Camus

In Florida, winter is actually the easier, more temperate weather season. Summers can be brutal. It really does all come down to perspective, doesn’t it?

“At some point in life, the world’s beauty becomes enough. You don’t need to photograph, paint, or even remember it. It is enough.” – Toni Morrison

My photographs, artwork and short-term memory are all sorely lacking. This is an easy sell for me, Toni.

“Mom, Thank you for always being there for me whenever I need support or guidance. As I am about to leave the nest, it is nice to know that I can always count on you. (That particular period, ending the previous sentence is heavily bolded and accentuated. The phrase “for advice” follows this period, but the “for advice” part was decidedly and emphatically crossed out.) I feel very lucky to have you as my mother! Thanks for giving me my wings.” – my eldest son

I found the above quote, while cleaning out our office closet this past weekend. Needless to say, it was the highlight of the weekend, for me!! This quote was found in the middle of an old, used up notebook that belonged to my eldest son, filled with college graduation to-do lists, and trainee notes from his new job. My guess is that my son had been practicing writing me a card or a note?! I may have even gotten “said card” a few years ago, when my eldest son first left home for his new adult life, but it fully touched my heart to find his words, and to read the note again (and again and again and again). The Universe sends us exactly what we need, all of the time, if we really pay attention. Look for the signs. They are all around us, all of the time.

Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

I’m doing my best to pass on love. Passing on my pain, isn’t very pretty. It usually involves yelling, spewing nasty words, and doing these terrible actions while sitting firmly in my Imperial Victim Chair.

Headed Home

My husband said in our family text chat, that he thinks that 2021 is going to be like 2020, in reverse. We asked him for clarification and he said that spring was the big turning point in 2020, of having to accept the coronavirus, and all of the changes it was making in our lives. My husband thinks that spring of 2021, will be the big springboard of taking us much closer to “normal” again.

Before my husband gave his own explanation, I immediately envisioned the long hikes we have taken as a family, over the years, in many of the National Parks. Living through last year, was much like climbing the uphill part of the hike. The uphill part of any long, challenging hike is exhausting, frustrating, full of trepidation and yet also, anticipation. Sometimes you feel like you aren’t going to make it. You keep wondering, “Is this hike ever, ever going to end?” You start to concentrate on just the next step and then, the next step. Then, when you finally reach the summit, or the pinnacle, or the destination of your hike, the views are clear. The relief is palpable. One time, after my husband and I climbed to the top of Camelback Mountain in Arizona, I literally started sobbing at the top of the mountain. I felt so much relief, release, pride, exhilaration, and exhaustion, all at once, and the emotions hit me like a hurricane. So, in staying with my hiking analogy, we’ve come to the destination of hope, with this virus. We have a panoramic view of hope. We have created effective vaccines, but we still have the hike down the mountain, of getting everyone vaccinated, and assimilated back into some close form of our previous normalcy. The downward part of the hike is usually so much easier. It usually goes so much faster. There are still tricky, slick areas and you must be careful, but it always feels surmountable. And the destination at the end of the hike, is a known entity. It’s your family car that reliably takes you back to your loving, warm, safe, comfortable place that you call home. Friends, we are headed home. Doesn’t that feel good?

Everest

In 1953, Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norgay were the first people ever to reach the summit of Mt. Everest. Before that time, it was believed that this feat was not even possible. By the end of the year 2016, 4,469 people had successfully climbed to the top of Mt. Everest. Some of them more than one time. In 2018, the most people reached the summit in any one year, 800 people, to be exact.

This year, we have proved that a safe, effective vaccine for a deadly virus can be made in less than a year. In fact, we have proved that more than one vaccine for a deadly virus can be produced in less that a year. What has been a devastating disaster, has also proven to be a beacon of hope and wonder and proof of our amazing, inventive abilities. We have helped future generations who may have to go through pandemics, by our successes and our mistakes, throughout this ordeal. This is why we study history. Studying history is not about memorizing dates and names. It’s about learning from our experiences, and providing a template for the humans who come after us. Is it possible that a far deadlier virus is likely to come to this Earth, in the future? Is it not also likely, that because of our experience with the coronavirus, and the vital necessity to find a vaccine, we will prevent lives lost, not only now, but also into the future, with our better, expedient vaccine creating science and techniques? I recognize that this fact, does not take away from the pain and the terrible losses which we have suffered throughout this COVID crisis, but it gives some meaning to all that we have been through. Those who died, did not die entirely in vain. Their deaths lead to the deep sense of urgency, to find a way to stop the spread of the virus, quickly and effectively. And we did it. We created several effective vaccines in less than a year. This has never happened before.

On a personal level, this is a reminder to never say never. Don’t lose your dreams. Don’t lose your clear visions for yourself, for your family and for this world. Be a believer. Don’t stay mired in “impossible.” Anything is possible. Study history. Be inspired by the visionaries, the inventors, and the desirers for a better world. Be the change you want to see. Believe that the best is yet to come. Believe in the best of yourself and of others. Climb your own personal Everests, and create a life that heals and nurtures you, and safeguards you from negative forces. The world will be uplifted for your own uplifted being. Step into the power that has always been inside of you, and inspire others to do the same. If we use this year, and the hard lessons that came with it, to help us to step into our higher powers (as so many of us already have, in so many ways), nothing will have been in vain. Nothing. And the world will shine like never before.