Jay McInerney has a new book out. People of my generation will probably remember his breakout novel, Bright Lights, Big City, a book about being young and wild and full of grief in New York City. Jay McInerney is currently 71 years old. I was reading an interview which the New York Times had with him and this quote stuck out to me:
“There is consolation in old age in sensing that you may have experienced some of the best.”
He said this in the context of imagining the idea of being able to be young again in New York City, but realizing that it would never be the same as he remembers it when he first experienced it in the 1970s, when he was in his twenties.
I do believe that one of the best gifts of aging is believing and knowing that you have experienced things and events that will never be able to be replicated in the exact same way again. And these experiences are sacred, for that very reason. And age has a way of softening memory and focusing on the positive and putting a warm, fuzzy frame around it all. We all believe that our own favorite experiences were better than any youngster could ever imagine or experience themselves. And those youngsters will grow up to be oldsters who believe the very same thing. Each generation feels sorry for what the generation below them “missed out on.” Perhaps there really is a slow degeneration of all things bright and beautiful, but more likely, as Jay McInerney says, the belief that “you may have experienced some of the best” is just a lovely “consolation” prize that comes with the territory of growing old.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.