Here’s a good reminder from Dwayne Johnson (“The Rock”) to start the week out:
“When you focus on you, you grow. When you focus on sh*t, sh*t grows.”
Let that sh*t go! I was at a little arts and crafts festival over the weekend, and I purchased this little rock from one of the vendors:
I thought that it was a rock crystal carved into the shape of a little cone-shaped shell. I told the woman selling it that I didn’t know why, but this little piece seemed to be calling to me (in retrospect, I am sure that she got a giggle out of my statement). Upon closer inspection when I got home, I saw this:
My “shell” has a face. I didn’t buy a shell. I purchased a rock crystal poop emoji. I still love it though. I think that I am going to use this little guy as a visual reminder to “Let that sh*t go!!” Rocks know what they are talking about. They’ve been around a long time.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
I’m back!! As promised, Mommy always comes back. I missed you all. I definitely missed writing my blog, but I learned something important by not writing at all, on this particular trip. For a true “getaway”, you must escape all of your everyday life – even the good stuff. By really experiencing life completely out of your element, it makes it really easy to sort out what is important to you. The people/places/stuff that you miss the most about home, are what’s really important to you. These are your priorities. These are the vital things that make your life hum to your own unique inner rhythms. You also get clear about the other stuff in your routines, that aren’t so important, and you realize things that might need to be changed or finessed, in order to live a life which is more authentic and contenting to you.
It is also surprisingly shocking to me, every. single. time. after vacation, just how much needs to be done when you get home. I have piles of mail to sort, piles of laundry to do, piles of souvenirs to find places for, piles of groceries to buy, piles of emails to go through and unusual surprises to deal with, like the fact that my web server for this blog, must have had an entire major update while I was gone, and I had to watch a tutorial and go through security measures more stringent than the ones on my bank accounts, in order to load this precious space back up on my computer. Welcome back. Ugh.
I saw a shortened version of this beautiful thought, on a pillow in a shop in the beautiful town that we visited. Here is the full version of “I Want to Age Like SeaGlass” by Bernadette Noll:
“I want to age like sea glass. Smoothed by tides, not broken. I want the currents of life to toss me around, shake me up and leave me feeling washed clean. I want my hard edges to soften as the years pass—made not weak but supple. I want to ride the waves, go with the flow, feel the impact of the surging tides rolling in and out.
When I am thrown against the shore and caught between the rocks and a hard place, I want to rest there until I can find the strength to do what is next. Not stuck—just waiting, pondering, feeling what it feels like to pause. And when I am ready, I will catch a wave and let it carry me along to the next place that I am supposed to be.
I want to be picked up on occasion by an unsuspected soul and carried along—just for the connection, just for the sake of appreciation and wonder. And with each encounter, new possibilities of collaboration are presented, and new ideas are born.
I want to age like sea glass so that when people see the old woman I’ll become, they’ll embrace all that I am. They’ll marvel at my exquisite nature, hold me gently in their hands and be awed by my well-earned patina. Neither flashy nor dull, just a perfect luster. And they’ll wonder, if just for a second, what it is exactly I am made of and how I got to this very here and now. And we’ll both feel lucky to be in that perfectly right place at that profoundly right time.
I want to age like sea glass. I want to enjoy the journey and let my preciousness be, not in spite of the impacts of life, but because of them.“
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Yesterday, I decided to follow my own advice. I became Mrs. Potato Head (see yesterday’s blog post) on a scavenger hunt. I needed to get out of my usual routine rut. The maori mask above is what started my wild goose chase. I suppose what really started this whole adventure, was that Ralphie, our Labrador retriever, in exuberance and excitement for my husband gathering balls to be thrown into our pool for retrieving, knocked over a plant which we have had in our possession for over 27 years. This plant has lived with us since it first adorned our first son’s nursery. The ceramic pot which housed it, miraculously had lasted that long, too, through several moves to several homes in three different states. Thankfully, the plant survived, but the pot was dust. So I went to my favorite local nursery, which is so wondrous, you feel like you are in fairyland when you are there. Butterflies swarm the vivid colored plants everywhere that you look. While there, I purchased another fantastic pot for our precious plant and then I decided that I must also have the magnificent Maori mask decoration, too. (see above) Honestly, there were about 300 different lawn decorations I would have loved to bring home, too, including a life sized concrete collie, and a giant, colorful pot shaped like a pufferfish, but (probably by my husband’s design and foresight, in order that I don’t bring home too many large, strange, cluttery collections of concrete figurines), I don’t drive a pickup truck. Anyway, the Maori mask was signed by the artist, so I looked up the artist on the internet. (I figured I didn’t want our Maori to be lonely. I thought that perhaps he may need another kitschy friend.) It turns out that the maker of the Maori is a local guy. The artist of this mask refers to himself as a “yardist”. (I love this title. I may have to become a “yardist”, too.) His garden artwork consists of zany, brightly colored Tikis, cheeky oranges with sailor hats, and his top-featured “Pot Heads”, all having a mid-century flair to them. From his Instagram, I tracked down a local store that carries shelves of his artwork, and I purchased a Garden Girl, which is part of his “Pot Head” collection:
My Garden Girl will not be lonely. I love Pot Heads. I have collected various Pot Heads throughout the years (made by all different artists/yardists). I have Pot Heads all over my yard. Here are a couple of other Pot Heads who live at our home:
Now you would think this particular adventure and its story, in itself, would be enough for one day, but wait, there’s more. Happy with my purchase of my lovely new Garden Girl Pot Head, I headed to my car, and I crossed a little nature/bike trail that we have here, which runs through miles of our local beach towns. On the trail I noticed a black mailbox, with a large sign that said, Love Letters on it. I was admittedly curious, so when I got to my car, I went straight to the internet, on my phone, and that’s when I discovered the story of the Love Letters mailboxes.
It turns out that a local young lady was suffering some heartbreak after a toxic relationship ended, and so she would go to a rocky spot near one of our beaches every single day, in order to process her feelings and sometimes write them out. She found comfort and healing in doing this and she wondered if other people did the same thing. So on a whim, she placed a mailbox there, in between some rocks, with a LoveLetters sign on it, and in the mailbox, she placed a notebook and some pens, with a note that encouraged people to write their own love letters in it. She welcomed them to sign their letters or to keep them anonymous, whichever they preferred. The young lady was amazed at how many letters that she would read, every few days when she would return to her spot. It gave her joy that her special spot gave so many other people comfort, too, and she felt connected to these people, despite never having met them. Interestingly, she kept her mailbox secret from her friends and family, but when she witnessed how many people utilized the mailbox and wrote their own Love Letters, she decided to tell her loved ones about it. They all thought that the mailboxes were a wonderful idea, and they encouraged her to make more of them. Now there are dozens of these LoveLetters boxes sprinkled all over our area, and beyond. Daynie Cutler, the creator of the Love Letters mailboxes says that the most poignant letter that she has ever read was a love letter from a father to his daughter who had passed away two years previous, but she feels touched and moved by them all. So, did I go back and read some of the letters in the Love Letters mailbox that I had stumbled upon? Of course, I did! And they were beautiful. Some spoke of the pure joy of celebrating milestone birthdays with their favorite people. One was from a soldier thanking his friends and family for sending notes and packages to him while he was away and how happy he was to be back home with them. Another letter, promised that the young couple writing the letter would come back to this same spot and get engaged to be married in a few years. This is the letter that really put in a lump in my throat:
I wonder if these people have any idea just how much they mean to this writer? She/he loves them “with all that I am.” His or her people sent her/his loneliness packing!! Sometimes the depth of our love can be so hard to express. How wonderful to have a safe place to send a love letter out into the Universe! How wonderful that there are people like the quirky “yardist” and the Love Letters mailbox creator, Daynie Cutler, who bravely put their full, joyful, vulnerable selves “out there” which genuinely encourages others to allow themselves to do the same! Despite all of the negativity, and the pain, and the evil and the sadness that is out there in our world, there is so much good. Be a potato head today! Go to a wonderful nursery. Write a love letter. Be curious to look for the good. You will find it everywhere. Sometimes you will find good in the most surprising of places. Do it. Look for the good. It will do you good. Then please come back to here on the blog and tell us about what you found in my Comments section. It will do us all some good.
Here is my love letter to you, my readers: Simply stated, I love you. I am so utterly grateful that you come here and read my blog. I feel so “heard” and “seen” despite never meeting most of you in person. You have made a huge difference in my life. You have helped me to safely and bravely speak my truth and given me a place to truly be myself. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
I was unexpectedly delighted yesterday when I opened up my Kindle app. A while ago, I had pre-ordered a children’s book of poems by Bob Odenkirk (of Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul fame) and it had just been downloaded to my Kindle. The book is called Zilot & Other Important Rhymes and it is adorably illustrated by Bob’s daughter, Erin. The book is engaging and silly and creative and fun. It’s a book that reminds me very much of Shel Silverstein’s offerings. Children and grown-ups alike, will delight in reading Zilot & Other Important Rhymes.
I devote Sundays to poetry on the blog. Here is “Lollygagging”, one of the poems from Zilot. I hope that you get a chance to do some real lollygagging of your own this Sunday:
“Lollygagging”
There’s not enough lollygagging
going on around here,
and daydreams are in short supply.
The whole week is jammed
with to-dos and to-don’ts.
No one is gazing at clouds in the sky.
THERE’S SO MUCH NONSENSE TO ACCOMPLISH!
I simply can’t do it all alone . . .
I’ll think stray thoughts and you mutter drivel.
You walk in circles and I’ll tunelessly whistle.
We’ll pandy about the most pointless of piffle
and cram this day full
of jabber and jibble.
We’ll aim to aim aimlessly
and traipse about spaciously
and fart around graciously
and fritter tenaciously.
Let’s not focus nor work
on what’s “necessary” or “needed.”
Let’s get down to beeswax
and get our lollygagging completed!
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Isn’t the cooler weather wonderful?! After such a hot summer, it’s like diving into a cool, refreshing, clear pool of water.
How’s everyone doing? This was a tough weekend. I’m feeling that universal, low-lying, but seeping in kind of stress in the air, like we had when the pandemic first started. And when you have that kind of permeance of uneasiness, swirling all around you, it sort of punctuates your own individual stresses, doesn’t it? Whatever helps you with stress and concern in your mind and in your body and in your spirit, is your own “toolbox.” Don’t forget to open your toolbox, and to use and to utilize your own helpful “tools.” (exercise, prayer, meditation, music, friendships, nature, healthy, wholesome meals, crying, release, easy chores, funny shows etc.) Also, use this as a time to find and to test new, healthy tools to help ease your stress during eventful times.
“Every one of us is, in the cosmic perspective, precious. If a human disagrees with you, let him live. In a hundred billion galaxies, you will not find another.” – Carl Sagan
“If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.” – Mother Teresa
“For me, forgiveness and compassion are always linked: how do we hold people accountable for wrongdoing and yet at the same time remain in touch with their humanity enough to believe in their capacity to be transformed?”– bell hooks
“Humanity is good. Some people are terrible and broken, but humanity is good. I believe that.” – Hank Green
“We cannot despair of humanity, since we ourselves are human beings.” – Albert Einstein
“You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.” – Mahatma Ghandi
“During bad circumstances, which is the human inheritance, you must decide not to be reduced. You have your humanity, and you must not allow anything to reduce that. We are obliged to know we are global citizens. Disasters remind us we are world citizens, whether we like it or not.” – Maya Angelou
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
I saw an advertisement today for embellished slip-on shoes. The description said that these slides were a little “extra”. That seems to be a common catch-phrase these days. “She’s a little extra . . .”
The thing is “extra” means different things to different people. The slides being advertised didn’t look “extra” at all to me. But they were being sold by a company that traditionally stays in the black to brown color wheel of traditional, plain, timeless ballerina flats. The “extra” slides being advertised were black ballerina flats, with a thin band of rhinestones.
It’s fun to be a little “extra” sometimes, right? And a little extra you, is different than a little extra me. Yes, someone who is “extra” all of the time can be exhausting to be around, but at least they always keep it interesting.
Today, do something a little extra. Get the extra hot sauce on your lunch. Some other ideas that I saw on websites when I looked up the urban dictionary’s version of “extra”: a lemon wedge on your dog’s water bowl, bright red fake nails with an extra set of bright red fake nails hanging off of them like charms, a grandfather with a computer screen bigger than our large screen TV in the family room.
The other day, when my husband and I were in line at Chipotle ordering our food, a conservative looking young lady was waiting on us. When she smiled, I noticed an unusual glint of color and gleam on the top right corner of her mouth. Upon closer inspection, I saw that she had decorated her teeth with crystals. It honestly looked really cool and intricate. I told her how impressed I was, and my husband said that after my compliment, the young lady and her glitzy teeth just continued to beam and beam. (on an aside, if you only do one extra thing today, give someone a genuine compliment. Notice something that they have taken the time to do for/on themselves or for others, and be extra extra with your compliments, such as on their fancy hair, or their great combination of clothes, or their patient kindness in helping an elderly person, etc. I can never understand why people are so dreadfully stingy with compliments. They cost you nothing, and they make another person feel so good and “seen.” And I promise that you, too, will feel extra good for making another person feel happy.)
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
We have been hanging out with our two middle sons and their friends this past weekend. Our sons are 25 and 22. They eat a lot, and they have high, fast, young people metabolisms. I’ve been trying to keep up as best as I can. This lipstick will definitely come in handy for the rest of the week. I just couldn’t keep it secret from you until Favorite Things Friday. Ha!
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
I’m sorry that I am delayed here this morning. I was dealing with a couple of “customer service” (oxymoron) issues. I am not one who likes to stay mired in negativity and complaining. I believe that I am a fair and reasonable person and I’m as conflict-avoidant as anyone, but sometimes I feel like unless I become a real live, much parodied, angry, middle-aged, up-in-arms “Karen”, nothing happens. In society, we love to make fun of the “Karens” but there is a reason why the so-called “Karens” exist. You can’t just stand up for your rights assertively anymore. It’s like you have to jump through hoops until you become exhausted and hysterical and maniacal, and then somehow you then get turned into “the bad guy.” For years and years, I have preached to my family, if you want to get something done, you have to become their “PITA”. You have to make it so that their number one goal is just to get you out of their hair, whatever it takes. More than once, my family members have admitted, “Oh wow, you were right about that one, Mom.” It shouldn’t be this way. It shouldn’t become a “Where’s Waldo?” level 832 puzzle to find an actual, real live Customer Service person to speak to about a legitimate concern.
I am not an opportunist. I have integrity. I am all about fair solutions. I understand that the “Karen” memes were created to call out the true, obnoxious “Karens” of the world. But we have a world of choices out there, and businesses do not want to learn this the hard way.
But you don’t need all that extra negativity in your day, so instead, here’s a cute puppy:
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Trip, our Boykin spaniel, is out getting groomed by our mobile pet groomer, Angelica (and she is an Angel, because Trip is probably the devil in canine form). When I first met Angelica, she said, “Hi, I’m Angelica, you know, like on Rugrats.” I remember thinking to myself, “I wonder if her mother ever thought that this is how her daughter would introduce herself when she named her beautiful baby ‘Angelica’.” But honestly, I have never forgotten Angelica’s name, and although I’m ashamed to admit it, I’m not the best with names. However, whenever Angelica’s van pulls up to my house, this is the first picture that comes to mind:
Recently I reached out to an author named Tamara. She says that she introduces herself to everyone with a Dr. Seuss-like rhyming twist, so they’ll remember her name more easily. “Hi. I’m Tam-I-Am.” (She likes to go by the nickname “Tam”.) So when I emailed her, I started with “Hi, I’m Kelly-Bo-Belly.” Seriously. But then I thought, do I really want to call attention to my belly??? Oh well, too late, this go around.
Tam-I-Am claims that she also adds, “from Maine” to her introduction of herself to other people. “Hello, I’m Tam-I-Am from Maine.” She claims this makes for a great conversation starter because people either love Maine, or they are, at the very least, extremely curious about it. This reminds me of a woman I met, whom I will forever call, “Linda From Dunedin”. We have an adorable little town near to us called “Dunedin”. It’s Scottish and extremely hard to pronounce, for any visitors who aren’t in the know. It’s not pronounced “Doon-din” or “Dun-uh-din”. The correct pronunciation is “Duh-Knee-Din” (at least around here). Anyway, I met Linda From Dunedin at a women’s group, and that’s how she introduced herself to everyone. To this day, I don’t know anyone from that group who calls her just “Linda” anymore.
How do you introduce yourself to people? What about you is unique and memorable? You are the only, one-of-a-kind you someone will ever get the privilege to meet, and if they’re really lucky, get to know. As a name remembering trick, it is a common tip to try to tie someone’s name with how they look, or where they are from, or from a character in a book or a show that reminds you of them. Angelica Like Rugrats, Tam-I-Am, and Linda From Dunedin have already done the hard part of that trick for people. They know that people will want to remember them. And people with that kind of self-confidence and panache and “Hello World! attitude” usually are the memorable, interesting people in the world who make you feel happy and lucky to have met them. And even luckier if the relationship grows.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
