I’m back!!! I hope that you had a “wonderful” weekend with whatever “wonderful” looks and feels like to you.
Over the weekend, I read an article about a therapist, who is transgender herself, who is concerned that young children and teens are making the choice to change their gender, too early, and not as thoughtfully and carefully as she thinks is healthy, having done the change herself. She is concerned that “transgender” is currently becoming a little “trendy”. She said that constantly she says to her patients, “When in doubt, doubt.“
I like that statement: “When in doubt, doubt.” It’s a good reminder to get quiet and listen to that still small voice inside that speaks to us, if we are willing to hear it. When in you are in a quandary, doing nothing is doing something, and doing nothing might be the wisest choice for the moment in question. Trust yourself. Trust your instincts. Trust that still small voice.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
I saw this quote over the weekend and it kind of made me giggle:
“Introverts technically don’t make new friends, they just get adopted by extroverts.” – WiseConnector (Twitter)
It’s true isn’t, it? From grade school on, in every group of friends which I have belonged to, there is always one or two extremely extroverted ring leaders, with a posse of adoring introverts whom they have collected along the way. For a group of friends to work out the best, you definitely need a mix of both extroverted and introverted people.
May this week bring out your most fun, excited extroverted side and your most thoughtful, introspective introverted side. If you get your energy stores from being around a lot of activity and people, may your week be full of plans and crowds and invitations. If you get your energy stores from quiet time by yourself, may your week be full of peace, quiet and solitude. No matter what, may this week be a perfect fit for you!!
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Good morning, friends. If you didn’t get a chance to read Thursday’s blog post, “The Lifeboat” or even if you did, please go back and read my wonderful, and loyal reader Kelly’s response to that post. It is beautiful, poignant and real. And (the other) Kelly is truly an excellent writer.
This is a “Gorge Season” in my family. Every family has them. We have three birthdays in a matter of a couple of weeks, and usually Easter falls right in the mix, as well. Yesterday, for my daughter’s birthday, we started with an onslaught of doughnuts, went to a very generous Japanese steakhouse for dinner, and ended up with my daughter’s favorite chocolate volcano cake and ice cream right before bedtime. My husband mentioned more than once that he had the worst night’s sleep of his life, last night. And we are just out of the starting gate on this year’s early Gorge Season. It gets harder every year, as we age, but somehow we manage to go at our spring Gorge Season with great gusto.
Before my daughter’s best friend arrived to our home to join us for dinner last night, I was thumbing through “Real Simple” magazine (the March issue). I have subscribed to this magazine for years. It’s a good one. One of my favorite features is the Modern Manners advice column by Catherine Newman. If I had to summarize almost every answer that she gives to her readers about various issues that they are in a huff about, I would say it is something like this: “Take a chill pill. Is this really a hill you want to die on? Life is too short. Don’t get your panties in a twist.”
In this issue, one person was upset with how her guests didn’t leave her borrowed RV the way she felt they “should have” done it. This is the finishing line of Catherine Newman’s answer to the reader: ” ‘Read my mind’ is an unrewarding approach to justabout everything; if there are invisible strings attached, people tend to get tangled up in them.”
Another reader noticed some expensive antique silver decanter labels were missing after a few dinner parties she held for friends. She was concerned that they may have been stolen and she asked Newman if she should bring it up with her friends. Newman reminded her of the great possibility of finding the misplaced labels (this kind of thing has happened to me before, and then my high-and-mighty, outraged, suspicious mind immediately turns to shamed, chagrined mind. Has this happened to you? Not fun.) Newman’s finishing line to her answer to this reader: “Things are just things. Assume you lost them, and let them go.”
The final reader’s question was about her father constantly giving her unsolicited advice via articles that make her feel belittled and insulted. She wanted to know how to handle asking him to stop this behavior. A few of Newman’s final lines on this one were excellent: “You could also remind him that you’re on the same page. As my own son has said to me, ‘I promise I want me to be happy andsuccessful too.’ ”
That one hit home with a little sting of “ouch”. Why do we parents have the tendency to forget that our adult children and our dearest friends and family, all likely share the same goals that we do? “I promise I want me to be happy and successful too.” And why do we all think we have the secret formula for everyone’s happiness and success??? In 2022, the self-improvement industry is projected to be worth around $13 billion dollars. If we all had the easy formula, there would be no 13 billion dollar industry to support. And further, everyone’s idea of happiness and success is different. My extremely extroverted and social friend was telling me that with my soon-to-be empty nest right around the corner, I probably should start to join a lot of clubs, find some social events, and fill up my calendar with lots of stuff in order to stave off the loss of my regular routine. I know that she meant well, and that she was trying to take care of me with love, so I didn’t have the heart to say, “That sounds like pure hell to me.” Her idea of happiness and fulfillment, is my idea of hell.
What I like best about the overall theme of “Real Simple” magazine, and that includes Catherine Newman’s Modern Manners column, is that it reminds me not to overcomplicate things. It reminds me that very few things in life are worth torrents of emotional angst and loads of hand wringing. It reminds me that life can be as simple or as complicated as I choose to make it. The older that I get, real simple feels real good. Maybe being happy and successful comes down to just experiencing the experience. The older that I get, the more plausible this seems. It really could be as simple as that – experience the experience, and then let it all go.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
I think that the above meme has become particularly more applicable to me as I have gotten older. It really does stress me to have more than one important thing to do on any particular day. I have the tendency to over-exaggerate the importance and the relevance on any “big, BIG, BIG” event on any one specific day. Interestingly, my twenty-something sons and I are complete polar opposites in this regard. My sons try to pack in as much other stuff that they possibly can before “The Appointment” and then to come screeching into “The Appointment” huffing and puffing, breaking speed limits, with no seconds to spare, all of the while trying to pull off an air of complete badass nonchalance. It makes for a really fun family dynamic amongst us at times. If this sensation were a perfume it would be called, “Tension in Ze Aire.”
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
I am terrible at giving directions. I am terrible at following directions. GPS directions technology has changed my own life, in incredible ways. Do you remember when you used to have to give people directions? Or when a slow moving car would sidle by you when you were walking, and ask you for directions? (This was such a tense, anxiety inducing situation for me. First, I would worry that someone was going to try to abduct me. Then, when they asked for directions, I would feel a slight tinge of relief, before the anxiety of having to give directions would make me all tense and nervous all over again.) Do you remember trying to decipher all of the funny landmarks someone would try to describe to you when you asked them for directions? Do you remember using paper maps? Do you remember having to try to fold back up said maps? My kids still love to tease me about the reams of paper I used up, in order to print out textbooks of Mapquest directions for our various road trips. Yes, in my own personal life, GPS on-time directions might be the one of the most positive change inducing inventions which I have ever experienced.
I was thinking, wouldn’t it be great if we could channel our own inner directions and guidance as easily as we can with GPS? Why does our intuition have to be so damn subtle and elusive sometimes? We definitely need better technology than Magic 8 balls for our sixth sense.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
My husband and my daughter both have off today, so we’re going out to breakfast! This is my favorite kind of Monday.
Interesting quote to think about today:
“Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.” – H.G. Wells
I can cringe thinking about a few times in my my own life when feeling jealous of someone’s ability to feel absolutely free to be themselves and to do what they want to do, led me to “hide” this fact behind a cloud of moral superiority and judgment. I think that we have seen a lot of this going on in these years of coronavirus, and extremely divisive politics.
But I have eggs and bacon waiting for me, so I’ll let you finish that thought . . .
Have a great day, if you want to . . . !
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
I’m a big believer in trying to make every day a good day, but come on, on Fridays, “the good part” just doesn’t take much effort, does it? Friday is my favorite day of the week, mostly because I love the feelings of freedom and anticipation. On Fridays, here at the blog, I list my favorites. Typically, I try to list around three favorite products, or books, or TV shows, or whatevers that have helped to make my life interesting and enjoyable. Please share some of your favorites in my Comments section. It’s always fun to discover new favorites.
My favorite reading this morning:
“We cannot wake up and know who we are, as we are always building it. Much remains unreconciled, an indication of being alive.” – Holiday Mathis
Friends, we are all works in progress. That’s the joy and the process of living. Cut yourself a break this weekend and just experience the experience without judgment. Please, don’t take yourself so seriously. Be grateful that you have all of the ingredients: mind, body, and spirit, in order to fully experience the awesomeness of living a life on Earth. That’s honestly all there is to it.
My favorite story of the week:
My friend asked her mother-in-law if she believed in “love at first sight.” “Absolutely!” her mother-in-law replied. “It’s happened to me 14 times!” I imagine that there was a pregnant pause at this moment. I know that my eyebrows were raised listening to my friend tell her story. I thought to myself, “Wow, now that’s what I call a romantic!”
My friend’s mother-in-law continued, “The first time that I laid eyes on my three sons, and my eleven grandchildren and great-grandchildren, I completely experienced love at first sight. No doubts about it.”
Some people are just so awesome to their very cores, aren’t they???
My second favorite story of the week: (This time I was eavesdropping at my physical therapy session. My regular readers know that I do this. Tsk. Tsk. It’s a bad habit of mine, but you must know, we writers tend to eavesdrop. Facts.)
The young male physical therapist was lamenting to his older female patient about how much his young sons fight and argue. The woman mentioned that her own sons are now in their forties, but when they were young and they were fighting and fussing, she would take two chairs, sit them down and make the boys face each other. She would then say, “Compliment each other, until I say stop!”
Now, the woman admitted that this activity never went the way that she had planned. One boy would start with, “I really like how ugly your hair looks today.” And then the other brother would try to creatively top his brother’s “compliment” with something even better, like, “I really like how you keep proving to me that you are even stupider than I thought you were . . . ” The woman told her PT that the boys got a big hoot and holler out of this activity and they would end up in fits of laughter, and they would be buddies all over again in a matter of minutes. The brothers would bond over clever and witty insults disguised as compliments. (As a mother of three sons, I know that this has to be a true story. Boys get a charge out of insulting each other. I’ve never quite understood it, but it does create a bro-bond like nothing else does.)
When I hear stories like these, I always think to myself, “Why didn’t I think of that???” It almost makes me want to go back to mothering young children. (“Almost” being the key word here.)
My favorite product of the week:
My husband and I went to the grocery store together to pick out a pile of junk food to enjoy while watching the Super Bowl last Sunday. Russell Stover chocolates were “buy one/ get one” at our local Publix. How perfect, his and her boxes of chocolate, even before Valentine’s Day!!! After devouring two boxes of Russell Stover Assorted Milk Chocolate Covered Nuts this week, my husband and I both agreed that we have been way too snobby about Russell Stover candy. I wish that I didn’t love this candy as much as I do. I wish that I was still a chocolate snob who hadn’t eaten 26 pieces of Russell Stover chocolate this week. My husband even noted that the candy was not perfectly molded to the point that it almost looked like it was homemade. Go get you some Russell Stover chocolates today, if there is any left. It is sure to be on sale after Valentines Day.
That’s all from me for today. Remember that favorites come in all different packages and many favorites are absolutely free. List your favorites today. This activity will bring a smile to your face. I promise you. This activity is one of my favorite things to do because it brings the joy of my favorites bubbling up to the surface, all over again.
See you tomorrow! Have a great weekend!!!
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
I thought that I would help out my fellow writers this morning. This one made me giggle and yet also made me be a little in awe of its cleverness at the same time. Maybe that’s the true mark of excellent writing.
Have a great week!
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
I thought that this meme was funny, but truthfully, I’ve had a good week. I hope that you have, too! But of course, even if you had a lousy week, do not fret. It is Friday!!! Happy Friday!! Happy Favorite Things Friday!! On Fridays, I don’t deeply ponder. I purchase, I prance around, and I plunge into pleasure. On Fridays, on the blog, I typically list three favorite things, or songs, or websites, or shows, etc. that make my heart sing and I hope that you will share some of your favorites, too. I only have two favorites to share today, as I am a little pressed for time. Without further adieu:
Professional Wooden Slant Board for Calf Stretching – My piriformis muscle is all out of whack, so for the first time in my life (thankfully), I am going to physical therapy. My physical therapist is a great young lady, but she laughed coyly, when she told me that I’m a tad blunt and direct. In that moment, I came to the realization that I may have become one of those cantankerous old dames with bad hips. She asked me, “What is your goal with your physical therapy?” I said, “To fix the damn pain in my butt cheek.” Anyway, I still think that we’re friends. She introduced me to this slant board yesterday at PT and it was the best feeling stretch I have ever experienced in my life. It helped everything. My physical therapist said that she, herself, uses the slant board every day. So, I went home and I promptly went to Amazon, and purchased one for myself, so that I, too, can use it every single day. (Supposedly, it is great for plantar fasciitis, too.) Another good tip that I learned at PT is that I cross my legs too much. Apparently, I am too sexy and yet too modest, for my own good. When you cross your legs, you get unbalanced and your bones do more of the work than your muscles. Supposedly it is best to always stand and sit with balance. (And I am now coming to the realization that I am becoming one of those cantankerous old dames who talks too much about her ailments. Sigh.)
Mark & Graham monogram store – I know that you Southerners, in particular, love you some monogrammed stuff. I happened upon this website the other day and apparently, you can purchase anything in the world, with a personalized monogram. This is like a classier, easier to navigate Things Remembered. Remember “Things Remembered” at every mall in 1980s America??? Honestly, Mark & Graham is a great website, fun to peruse, because who doesn’t like a nice personalized “something something” as a gift for others, or even for yourself? Monograms make ordinary things special to you.
Have a great, fun, interesting, enthralling, yet comforting weekend! I’ll be here tomorrow, if you need me.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
