As I collie lover, I couldn’t resist this one. Collies are actually patient and trusting enough to put up with this silliness. I don’t know much about cows, but they probably are, too. Animals are wonderful.
Happy Hanukkah to my Jewish readers! May it be a wonderful, meaningful experience for you.
The other day, the six of us in our family, were sitting at a picnic table eating a picnic brunch. A little boy was at a nearby table, sitting with his own family, who were much more dignified, quiet and subdued than our family. (Our family has a tendency to lean towards loud and rambunctious.)
“You’re loud and full of nonsense!” the little boy announced to us. We all laughed heartily at the comment, and so he repeated it several times over. I wanted to adopt him. He clearly fit right in with us.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
The mind craves information, which is interesting. The soul craves inspiration, which is crucial. ~ Alan Cohen
I don’t plan on tying in the quote above to my writing today. I just happened to read the Alan Cohen quote this morning and I thought that it was so spot on, I had to share it. I look at my blog as a museum or a treasure chest of thoughts and ideas that I can come back to any time that I want to, or need to, and I hope that you see it as the same thing ~ a repository of ideas.
In other news, a few minutes ago, I got into a war of wills with our Boykin spaniel, Trip. I felt his soft fur at my feet as I was writing, and I heard the rustling in the garbage can, but by the time that I put 2+2 together (I’m slow in the morning time), Trip had disappeared with paper in his mouth. Trip and our collie, Josie are paper hounds. They love to chew paper. And then inevitably they end up throwing up said paper, somewhere around the house, hours later, usually in more than one “crime scene”. So, I frantically started yelling to Trip, “Leave it. Drop it!”
And in his mind, I think that he was saying to me, “Ha! Dream it.”
And then things got even better for Trip because I got easily baited into a game of chase, running around the couch (which by the way, they say is an excellent thing to do if you are ever being chased by an assailant. It is much harder to catch anyone when they are running around something, such as a parked car, than just running away.) And I know this tip. And I understand why it would be true. And yet, I still got baited into hopelessly chasing Trip around the couch, yelling, while our other dogs bounced and barked at all of the exciting revelry.
Now, two of our adult children are already home for the holidays, and I didn’t want to wake them, and I still didn’t want to clean up dog vomit later, so I knew that I had come up with another plan. As it is said, “What is the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing, again and again, and expecting different results.”
So, I went to the savory dog treat jar and I cleverly called to my pack, “Anyone want a treat?” Ralphie, the ever-hungry, always on a diet, labrador was already there, sitting with his mouth watering, and Josie was close behind. Trip stood in the entrance of the kitchen, paper in mouth, obviously carefully considering the situation. Reluctantly, he dropped the paper in his mouth. Treats inevitably taste better than wood pulp. (although probably not much better, although I have never tried them.)
Now, some would say that you should never reward a dog for being a d^%&**& (you fill in the blanks, there are a lot of words that start with the letter “D” that could work here, if you use your imagination). Trip did not listen to my command, why should he be rewarded? I think that the real treat was that I craftily outsmarted the little fellow. (Yes, I wrote that line with a smug, self-impressed expression on my face.)
And yet, if I am honest with myself, Trippy might be getting the last laugh here. I have written an entire blog post about him. And he upgraded from paper to dog treat, all the while misbehaving and causing a ruckus. (Yes, as I write this line, I peer down at my little brown spaniel at my feet, and he has quite the smug, self-impressed expression on his own cute, little face. D^&%$&!)
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Below is the feel good video of the season, in my mind. It’s my favorite holiday video that I’ve seen so far. You know that this little girl is deeply loved. (and she knows it, too)
https://twitter.com/i/status/1600992072571330560
I needed this video. Yesterday I was running holiday errands. We have a teeny little UPS store right around the corner and it was filled was people. I was sending numerous packages and I was being helped by a sweet, but obviously newbie employee, so the process was painful and crawling. A horrible cat fight ensued right beside me, by an enraged “Karen-like” customer (who had her dog in tow) and the equally enraged female manager. The f-bomb was poppin’ out like Rudolph’s red nose, fully aglow. They were screaming at each other and saying things like, “You should have remembered to take your meds!” and things were being thrown. It was like something out of the Real Housewives. It could have escalated to that crazy scene with Beth and Summer in the last episode of Yellowstone, but thankfully someone called the police. I was so tempted to leave, but the line behind me was out the door. Needless to say, my nerves were shot. (But my packages did get sent.) One old man behind me muttered, “I wish that these New Yorkers would stop moving here!” (which didn’t help defuse the situation and I honestly don’t think either woman was a New Yorker. In my experience, New Yorkers are usually very nice.) Anyway . . . .
Today is Friday!!! And Friday’s are devoted to favorite things, products, books, etc.! I don’t get deep, introspective or philosophical on most Fridays. Today’s favorite of mine is fascinating. This is the artwork of Alexis Berger who has a wonderful site on Etsy. She makes a lot of interesting glass jewelry, but my favorite items that she designs, makes and sells are her figas which can be viewed (and purchased) here:
What is a figa or “mano figa” (meaning fig hand)? Alexis writes her explanation here:
Did I purchase one? You bet your figa, I did! The fabulous figa does not disappoint and Alexis also sells lovely beaded, crocheted cords to hang your figa on, to wear or to display. Mano up and buy yourself a figa for Christmas.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
I am an ardent fan of this new season of The White Lotus. Sunday’s finale can’t come soon enough, even with everything that I need to be getting done this week. If you are squeamish about sex and nudity, avoid the show, but otherwise, indulge! TheWhite Lotus is so intriguing and the characters are fascinatingly flawed, and thus extremely interesting to get to know. Jennifer Coolidge plays Tanya, the only main character from the first season to return. Tanya is an insecure, emotionally immature, aimless, only child who has inherited half a billion dollars. She is ridiculously needy and oblivious. In short, no one really should take any advice from Tanya, but in the scene below she doles out advice to her assistant, Portia. Her bottom line is “Get your sh*t together, Portia.” (I imagine that this line is quickly going to become one of those cultural meme taglines, if it isn’t already)
On this week’s White Lotus… Jennifer Coolidge knocks it out of the park AGAIN with Tanya’s moment of clarity. Legitimately great advice for Portia?? pic.twitter.com/QVVnPhAz20
There was a time in my life, that if I were Portia, I would have thought, “You must be kidding, Tanya. Who the hell are you to ever tell anyone to get their sh*t together?” I would have scoffed and brushed it off quickly. In short, I would have “shot” the messenger.
However, I am older and wiser now. Some of the best advice I have ever gotten has come from people who have learned things the hard way, through difficult experiences. Their advice comes from an earnest hope to help others avoid the same miserable difficulties which they have gone through. Experience is always the best teacher, but if you can vicariously learn from other people’s experiences, this really helps to dodge some scary bullets. As an eldest child, I have always felt a special empathy for my own eldest child. The eldest child tends to make a lot of mistakes that the younger siblings (if they are smart) learn to avoid making themselves.
For years, trying to work through “stuff” on my own, I avoided therapy. I was told that therapists just went to school to study psychology in order to fix themselves. I wasn’t going to take any advice from any messed up person who needed fixing. But then I lived long enough to realize everyone needs some fixing. I have never met one person in my life who has all of their “sh*t together” in every facet of their lives. So then it occurred to me that perhaps it is not such a bad thing to get advice from a person who is self-aware enough to admit that they need some fixing, go to school for it, and then try to help others with their gained knowledge. So back in the 1990s, I went to therapy for the first time, and I learned all about narcissism, boundaries, gaslighting, codependency, etc. And now I look at the internet and I see that the whole world is just catching up to these terms and their meanings, which helped me immensely, decades ago.
The gist of this post is “Don’t shoot the messenger.” But don’t put the messenger on a pedestal either. The messenger, no matter who they are: a therapist, a minister, a priest, a yogi, a rabbi, a writer, a relative, a friend, a boss, a mentor etc. is just another flawed human being, just like you and me. Trust your own intuition. If the message resonates deeply, the message is meant for you to learn from it and to gain knowledge and wisdom from it. If the message seems a little “off” to you, trust your inner judgment, even if the message is coming from someone whom you deeply respect. Messages often come from the most unusual, and unlikely sources. And don’t discount good messages either, just because you later find out that the messenger was not the perfect angel of God whom you had built them up to be. (That’s on you.) The message itself was always the gold that shows you that the answers that you need, are always deep inside of you, yourself. The messengers whom we come across in life are just people, who are working on their own sh*t, who are used as the vehicles to pass on this gold of unveiled understanding and wisdom that resonates from the depths and the portals of our own souls.
So I say to you (and to me) today, “Get your sh*t together.” If you feel like this message resonates, run with it. If not, discard it. And know that I am just a writer, a scribe, a person with a passion for the written word. I have my merits and I have my warts, but my message is its own separate entity. Don’t shoot the messenger.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
In these parts where I live, our large population of part-timers have come back to town. My superpower is in its glory these days. Sigh.
At the company Christmas party over the weekend, I was speaking for a while to a young man who works for my husband. This young man is in his mid-twenties and he is a superstar. His parents are immigrants from Columbia. They have worked blue collar jobs their whole lives, and this young man worked to pay (and earned several scholarships) to put himself through college. He is one of the most reliable, smart, hardworking people who have ever worked for my husband. He is one of the most upbeat, happy people I have ever met. At the party, after him telling me that his rent had not gone up at all, and also about some winnings that he had won recently, out in Vegas, I said to him, “C, you seem like a really lucky person. Do you consider yourself to be a lucky person?”
He said, “Wow, I was just talking to a friend about this yesterday. I think that I am very lucky, because bad things don’t happen to me.”
This statement jarred my mommy heart and I started panicking thinking about the fact that unfortunately bad things eventually happen to everyone. “C, do you feel equipped to handle bad things when they will happen?” I asked him with sincere concern.
“I don’t think that I will recognize bad things, because bad things often turn out to be good things, you know,” is what C said to me. Wow. C is a naturally lucky person. He has learned to have a fabulous attitude at just the starting gate of his adult life.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Years ago, our middle son played on a travel soccer team with a lot of the same boys year after year. One of the players he played with was an extra-tall, sturdy, solid, brilliant young man who would later go on to college at one of the military academies. This young man was a great defender because he was strong, stubborn and he was hard to get past. He was like a wall. But, he wasn’t fast. He wasn’t tricky and nimble. The defender position, standing solidly, right by the goalie, was the perfect position for this player.
In one game, one of the players passed the ball to this young man and then criticized him when things went awry with an opposing player who was small and crafty and quick. “Know your personnel!” is what my son’s solid teammate loudly barked back to his critical teammate, and rightly so. The teammate seeing the quick and nimble opponent right by the tall, lumbering defender should have known to pass the ball elsewhere. We parents all got a chuckle out of the “Know your personnel!” comeback and so did our son’s team. It became a catchphrase that was often used by all of the team, and even our own family adopted the saying. Here I am, years later, writing about it.
Being fully cognizant and aware of your own strengths and weaknesses, and the strengths and weaknesses of those with whom you live with or you work with, and utilizing these strengths and weaknesses effectively, can make the difference between creating a masterpiece or creating a disastrous mess (all with the same group of people). Taking advantage of placing people with particular strengths matched to tasks that lend to those strengths, is a win-win for everyone. Knowing your personnel, helps to manage everyone’s expectations and stops setting people (including yourself) and projects up for failure.
Know your personnel. Be observant. Be humble. Be amazed and appreciative. Be open to different ways of doing things. Be impressed with the well-oiled machine of a group or an entity that knows their personnel very well, and has strategically placed everyone in positions where they can blossom and grow. When you find yourself disappointed, ask yourself, was this a situation where I ignored what I already knew about my personnel? Can I use this knowledge for better decisions in the future? KYP – you know me. Knowledge is power. Know your personnel.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
My favorite story from the weekend was of the Japanese World Cup soccer fans keeping up their tradition of cleaning up garbage in the stands. They have traditional blue garbage bags that they take out and use to clean up garbage as a sign of respect for taking care of others’ property. The Japanese team members left their locker room absolutely spotless as well, including leaving origami figures and a thank you note to the host country, Qatar. Apparently, this wonderful quality is catching on, and many other teams are following suit. What a wonderful example of courtesy, respect and connection to others! Apparently the worldwide attention that this has brought, has made many Japanese people amused, proud, but also a little embarrassed. This trait of tidiness and respect is something that is so “normalized” in their culture, that they are finding themselves a bit self-conscious to having it be brought to light. I love this. Sometimes wonderful traits of people need to be noticed and emulated, especially when these traits are just part of a person’s being, and not part of an attention grabbing “show.”
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
This morning on our way to visit our loved one at the hospital, we passed by something that was the perfect image of an “inside family joke”. If I tried to explain it, you wouldn’t get it. It wouldn’t be funny to you at all. But I took a picture of it, and I texted it to our family chat, and I got a lot of feedback and “hahas”. I love inside jokes. I think they are some of the best forms of intimacy. There is nothing like an inside joke that makes you feel like you belong to a group of people, whether they be family or friends.
Sundays are devoted to poetry on the blog. I decided to scour the internet for a good poem about “inside jokes” and my favorite poem which I found was written by a child and it was published on a website called KidzEraMag.com. Inside jokes are a universal form of love and belonging, no matter what your age.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
We are visiting our youngest two children at their shared university this weekend. It’s the last home football game of my youngest son’s senior year in college. We’re only one evening in and I’m pretty, pretty exhausted. There was a time in my early adulthood that it seemed like I had just graduated from college myself. It was a good decade after graduating college, getting married and even having four kids, in which I would still feel as if I had just very recently graduated from college, myself. For the longest time, as an adult, I always felt just a few years out of college.
It is now safe to say that I don’t feel that way anymore. At all. It’s not even close. But it sure is fun to see my babies savoring their college years. And I assume that it will take a long while for them to no longer feel like the fun, silly, energetic, “the sky is the limit”, “life is a party” college co-eds, even years after they graduate. And that is a beautiful thing. The good stuff in life lingers long after it is over. Your experiences never fully leave you. In fact, your experiences do a lot to form you. Perhaps that glimmer of a young, radiant, excited college girl is shining out of my eyes a little bit this weekend. I can remember it (her) like it was yesterday.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
As a woman from a family who has many members who have served in our military branches, and who has married into a family of many members who have served in our military branches, I couldn’t be prouder. There is no greater sacrificial service, than to be willing to put your life on the line for something bigger and more important than yourself. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. We honor you. Veterans will always, always be a favorite of mine.
Happy Friday, friends!!! Friday is the best day of the week, in my opinion. Therefore I keep it light on Fridays and I only discuss the frivolous – essentially material stuff that I like. On Fridays, I offer up one of my favorites, whether it be a book, a movie, a product, a website, etc. and I ask you to add your own favorites to my Comments section. Please also check out previous Friday posts for more favorites.
Today’s favorites are hilarious plant stakes that I purchased at a local plant shop, but it turns out that you find all sorts of these sticks of cute-funness, on Etsy. (With that in mind, before you know it, every one of our own dozens of plants will soon have their own stake.) These plant stakes make me smile and giggle to myself every time that I look at them, so besides the delicious clean oxygen my plants offer up to me, now they make me giggle and smile on the daily, too. How great is that?! What a simple, easy, inexpensive way to add delight into your own life.
Have a wonderful weekend! See you tomorrow.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
