Tag: empty nest

Monday – Funday

The writer Joe Lansdale says the key to his success is, “I write like everyone I know is dead.” Most writers are told to write about what we know. The famed writer Anne Lamott says this: “You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.”

It’s a tough line that we writers walk. Most of the world lives behind screens and masks and passive aggression and fragile egos. It’s hard to be direct and honest and “say it like it is”, full well knowing that someone else’s “say it like it is” about the exact same situation, may look like an entirely different “is” than yours. Many times, my truth is not the same as your truth (and yet confusingly, these opposite truths can be mutually accurate, all at the same time) And then we’ve got the whole “cancel culture” thing going on. And on top of all of this, we have our natural human beings’ need to be liked and to be loved and to be understood. We don’t consciously want to hurt anyone – even those who have hurt us. And we don’t want to be hurt in the process, either.

This is why journals and diaries are wonderful. This is also why it is also important to get your own personal take on things, out there in the world, in one form or another, even if it is just opening up to a trusted friend. Honestly, the world doesn’t need ten more of the same “Awhoooos” wolf songs in a row. That gets rote and boring and tedious. It feels fake, easy and sometimes conniving and controlling. What I have found, many times in my own life, is that when I am more open and honest and vulnerable in my communication, it seems to give others permission to do the same. And it makes me feel closer to people and it also makes me realize that a lot of all of our “Awhoooos” in all of our different lives, are more similar and relatable than we would have ever expected. And in intimate moments, the next song is called “Awhooo” and instead of rolling our eyes, we all smile at each other and we often nod in appreciation of what we share in common.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

1325. Do you have any phobias?

Soul Sunday

Good morning. Welcome to poetry day on the blog. I love Sundays. Sunday is the “breathe out deeply” day of the week. Whatever happened during the week, take in the good stuff and let go of the rest. Settle yourself with ease and prepare yourself for the fresh new start of a beautiful new week. Write a poem today. Poetry helps with the process of letting go. Poetry helps with the process of going within. Poetry helps to reach deeper meaning and understanding. You are worth a poem today. You are worth a poem everyday. Here is my own poem for today:

The most beautiful souls in the world

Are experts at giving away

What they once so desperately needed.

They figured out how to harvest

What was deeply implanted inside

And they grew it, and as it flowered with fruit,

With the help of other kindred souls,

They pried open the doors,

and they let it all flow out,

To help cleanse the world of its pain.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1732. What is/was your blessing in disguise?

The Boss

RIP – Iris Apfel (We lost a good one yesterday. What a strong inspiration to live your life fully, up until it is the time to pass on, at the ripe old age of 102 . . . . ) A fashion designer once said this about Iris Apfel’s trademark look: “It appeals to a certain kind of joy in everybody.” Thank you, Iris, for your bravery, your audacity and your authenticity. Thank you for your joy. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Here are some of Iris Apfel’s best quotes:

“When you don’t dress like everybody else, you don’t have to think like everybody else.”

“More is more and less is a bore.”

“Remember not to be bossy… be the boss!!”

“Get comfortable outside of your comfort zone.”

“Get old, but don’t get boring!”

“If your hair is done properly and you are wearing good shoes, you can get away with anything.”

“You don’t have to be an artist to be a creator, because creativity comes in a lot of forms, like cooking or keeping a house or dressing well. What you need is imagination, to make things up for yourself.”

“The worst fashion faux pas is looking in the mirror and seeing somebody else.”

“When you try too hard to have style, you look uncomfortable, like you’re wearing a costume, like the clothes are entering the room before you do. If you’re uptight, you won’t be able to carry off even a seemingly perfect outfit. If that’s happening, I say abandon the whole thing. It’s better to be happy than well dressed.”

“You can’t go home again. If an experience was wonderful, don’t try to re-create it. It will never be as beautiful as it was the first time.”

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

592. What is your favorite decorative piece or artwork that you own?

Unplug Friday

“Good morning. Tonight kicks off the Global Day of Unplugging, an annual event that encourages people to put down their screens and take part in real-life gatherings or a “meaningful conversation.”Yeah…here’s how that might go:
Hours 1–3: Chill
4–7: Getting shaky
8–12: Asking strangers for updates on Kate Middleton
13–15: Talking to yourself in a mirror and pretending it’s a Zoom meeting
16–19: Shouting tweets from your fire escape
20–22: Pressing buttons on your microwave to fill the silence
23: Acceptance
Good luck!”—Matty Merritt, Molly Liebergall, Cassandra Cassidy, Adam Epstein, Neal Freyman

Happy Friday!! Happy Favorite Things Friday!! The above selection is from my favorite for today, the “Morning Brew.” My friend told me about it and “Morning Brew” has become my new favorite source to get my news, by a long shot. (I still like “1440” and “Daily Skimm”, as well, which I have mentioned in my Favorite Things Friday posts previously) Another favorite for political news is “Tangle” which goes out of its way to be unbiased. At the very least, “Tangle” gives both sides of the story, by offering up what liberal leaning sources are saying about a political happening and than also, what conservative leaning sources are saying about the same happening. I like a news source that respects my ability to think for myself, and to make up my own mind about the state of affairs in our country and around the world.

The Global Day of Unplugging is probably a worthy challenge, right? It is scary how dependent we have become on our phones and our other technology. The other day, I was just driving over to my local Walgreens, which is about five minutes away from my home, to pick up a prescription. I realized that I had forgotten to bring my iPhone and I almost had a panic attack. (and I wish that this were an exaggeration) Then, I had to sit in a line at the drive-through, and I got so incredibly antsy because I had no form of entertainment. It was one of those nasty self-realization moments that I might be teetering a little bit, on phone addiction.

Even if you keep your phone in hand, this weekend, find a way to unplug. I’ve been noticing that in my own life lately, I go from feast to famine, and then back to feast, when it comes to the “busy-ness” in my life. I “go-go-go”, get exhausted and finally crash, and then I head right back into a “go-go-go” period. This is not what I had envisioned for my empty nest. I have to find a way to stay more “even keel”. I have to be more planful and practical. Unplug time should not be only for when you are so tired, that you just want to crash. Unplug time should be about keeping the balance, versus “the yo-yo of go-go.”

Have a great weekend! Stay in the center of the see-saw! See you tomorrow.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

2228. How do you like your eggs?

Bonus Day

Hi. Happy last day of February! Even with the special bonus day, February seemed to cruise along a lot faster than January did, right?? We are one sixth of the way through 2024. How is it going for you?

I’m exhausted, and yet exhilarated and rejuvenated, all at the same time. That’s typically my experience with travel. There are very few experiences that deplete you and energize you, all at the same time. Giving birth and perhaps running a marathon (although I wouldn’t know anything about long distance running. I won’t run to my mailbox) are the only other experiences that I can think of, off the top of my head, that could fall into this same category. I suppose winning an Olympic medal would be the extreme example of instantaneous exhilaration and exhaustion, but again, that is way out of my level of expertise.

When you add new experiences to your life, you add new layers to yourself. And some of your other layers get sort of reorganized with perspective changes, as new information gets assimilated into your being. Travel changes you. Travel expands you. I rode in a helicopter for the first time in my life this past week. My late uncle and my sister-in-law were military helicopter pilots and they always spoke so fondly of the specialness of flying in helicopters. I totally get it now. It was incredibly thrilling. It was an experience that I won’t soon forget.

Give yourself new experiences every day. You don’t have to travel far to try a new coffee flavor, drive a new way to work or to school, talk to someone whom you have never met, read a book that isn’t your usual genre choice . . . . The expansion of yourself from your experiences is really the point of “it all”, isn’t it? At the very least, expanding yourself is deliciously exhausting and invigorating, all at the same time.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1547. What gives you zest for life?

Within

I’m sitting here in a hotel room, in a hotel that was born in the same year as my eldest son. So this is a 28-year-old hotel room. Its current “look” seems to be a whimsical, boutique-y look, with prominent colors and unusual off-centered placements of mismatching artwork. I’m sure that this square room has had many variations over the years. The rule of thumb is that the average hotel changes and updates its decorations about every seven years. So this hotel is probably on the end of its fourth cycle of “changing it up”. I wonder if people are generally on the same 7- year cycle of updating our appearance, our homesites, our mindsets? Some hotels appear like they have never had a change-up. Some people are the same. When I was a college textbook sales representative back in the early 1990s, my main point of contact were the departments’ administrative assistants. There was one administrative assistant whose office remained stubbornly and firmly in the 1960s. She had a beehive hairdo, wore brightly colored cats-eye glasses, she smoked in her office (even though you weren’t supposed to), and all of the furnishings in the office were mid-century (before mid-century became cool again). It was like entering into a time warp. I found her office oddly fascinating and sometimes even reassuring. That woman was not about to let trends, nor time, take her away from surroundings that made her feel the most at home.

My husband read a story recently about one of our country’s earliest magnates. In an enormous romantic gesture, he traded their New York City home for a pearl necklace that his wife desperately wanted. (At the time, pearls were exceedingly rare because no one had yet figured out how to harvest pearls in an industrial sense.) Ironically, the necklace recently sold in auction for $165,000 and the New York City home that he traded it for is worth almost $300 million dollars.

Everything changes. What is valuable to you, or to anyone else, changes. What looks good to you at one time often loses its appeal overtime (to the point of laughing hysterically at you and your friends’ 1980’s glue-sprayed big bangs). Noticing what changes, makes it easier to pivot to thinking about what is endlessly timeless. Feelings are timeless. We all experience the different variations of feelings and sensations that our ancestors have felt for thousands of years. And the many generations ahead of us, no matter what their surroundings look like, will experience the same myriad of feelings and sensations that we do. The timeless stuff is all inside of us. Timelessness lies within.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1506. Do you think you could beat a lie detector test? (Me – no way, no how. I’m a terrible liar.)

Monday – Funday

If you want to make people exceedingly intrigued by you, and perhaps even envious of you (although this is not advised – when people are at their most envious, they are often at their worst) you don’t need millions of dollars, a perfect body, a beautiful face, a loving relationship, amazing kids, and a fancy car. You just need to be “happy.” Choose to be happy every single day. You will absolutely glow. Unfortunately, happiness is something that is available to all of us, but we make it so hard. There are people I have known who had all of the things listed above, and they were some of the most miserable people I have ever known. Happiness truly is an inside job. A happy optimist isn’t in denial. The happy optimists recognize that there is a lot that needs to be different in the world. So they choose to work at changing these things, or they choose to accept these things. And then the happy, optimist goes on to savor the myriad of things that are completely wonderful in this world. Don’t make happiness elusive. Don’t make happiness contingent on what you have or what you don’t have. Don’t compare others’ happiness to your own. Like love, happiness just is . . . . And happiness really is available to all of us. Happiness is a peaceful contentedness that is still there in the background, when sad feelings arise. It is the peaceful contentedness that is still there, even when fear is at its height. Happiness is living life in gratitude and appreciating the stories about the experiences of the moments. Why have we chosen to make happiness such a rarity? Is it smarter to sound sad, angry and bitter? Does it really matter how “smart” anyone is? Be happy. Today, choose happy at all costs. You’ll be amazed that you had the power to be happy within you, all along. And you’ll also be amazed at how magnetizing a power that true happiness can be.

“Whoever is happy, will make others happy.” – Anne Frank

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1629. How are you still similar to your younger self?

Soul Sunday

Hi friends. I’m leaving on another little adventure. I may write every day, or I may not. (I’ll keep you posted. 😉 ) At the very least, I’ll be back in full form by the end of the week. Sundays are devoted to poetry. Today, I felt a little “rhyme-y”. Write a poem today, just because you can . . . . Here is my poem for the day:

There is nothing that will make you feel more like a child,

Bringing you back to your natural whimsy and wild,

Than planning a trip, an adventure, an impromptu lark,

And feeling the giddy frenzy right before you embark.

Perhaps the most exciting trip anyone of us has every planned,

Was the one that we have right here, in this place, in our hand.

Life is a journey that sometimes feels long and banal,

But if we look at it closely, its length is quite small.

So open each day with the thrill of the new,

Unpack all of your baggage, and enjoy and pursue.

Make the most of your days, as if they were your vacation.

Before you know it, your adventure will reach its culmination.

Every exciting experience always ends, this we know,

So, in the meantime, make it amazing, every inch that you go.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

624. What word or phrase do you use too much?

That’s Why

I have writer’s block.

I’m tired.

I let a lot of last minute chores go to the last minute and now I’m scrambling.

All of the sudden, I’m not so tired, but I’m full of nervous energy. (has nothing to do with the pot of coffee I drank this morning)

My electronics are acting wonky.

(Isn’t it wonderful that we have a full moon every month to blame everything on?)

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

804. What is your weirdest trait? (I blame the full moon for my “weirdness.”)

Wellness Friday

credit: @BethFratesMD

Happy Friday!! Happy Favorite Things Friday!!! On Fridays, I discuss the stuff of life that makes it fun to live. Today’s favorite is for those of you out there, who sadly, like my husband, are down with a nasty cold. Did you know that Starbucks makes a “Medicine Ball” drink, sometimes shown on the menu as “Honey Citrus Mint Tea”? However, if you order a “medicine ball” the baristas will know what you are talking about. It’s a popular drink at Starbucks, particularly in the winter months. If you prefer not to get spendy on trendy drinks, you can make this delicious, soothing, comforting drink at home using these ingredients:

  • Jade Citrus Mint Tea
  • Peach Tranquility Tea
  • Steamed Lemonade
  • Hot Water
  • Honey

I’ve made a couple of variations at home myself, using creative substitutions of kombucha, real lemon and different flavors of tea. Stirred with love and care, you and your loved ones will be on your way to feeling better in no time!

Get well! Stay well! Be well! See you tomorrow!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1775. Who do you feel is your kindred spirit?