I read a really good tip offered up by the author and psychologist, Ramani Durvasula. She said that when she was in graduate school for psychology, they learned a really good tip for figuring out how to decide your own discernment about people, places and things. Say you meet a new person, or you visit a new store or restaurant, or you try a new product, and something less than savory happens. (nothing over-the top, or clearly dangerous or toxic – when this occurs, these things should be considered to be “one and done”) The first time this unpleasant experience occurs you can consider this experience to possibly be just a “blip.” Everyone has their bad days. The second time you experience this same type of occurence, it could be a “coincidence” but your ears should be perked. Your spidey senses should be tingling. The third time you experience this same type of frustration with the same person, place or thing, you are witnessing a “pattern” , and this pattern should become your expectation of this person, place or thing, going forward. You can then decide whether you really want this pattern to be part of your own experience and what kind of boundaries you can put around this pattern. In short, the first mishap is a blip, the second same mishap could be a coincidence, and finally, the third mishap is a PATTERN. This discernment tip gives you one extra bonus chance from the often stated, Randall Terry quote: “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.”
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:
711. How impulsive are you and what are you most impulsive with?
These are the quotes that stuck out for me today, in my morning readings. They speak for themselves:
“Your values become your destiny.” – Gandhi
“Every moment happens twice: inside and outside, and they are two different histories.” – Zadie Smith
And here is my own “feel good” story of the week:
As I mentioned in the blog, I started taking a Japanese Zen Art class last week at a local Fine Arts Center. Many Japanese calligraphers and artists use a red block stamp to mark their works, instead of signing them. I was excited to purchase my own soapstone stamp and red ink, to start making my mark on my own art. As I was searching for something unique and special (I’m not a lover of “practical and pedestrian”), I saw the unusual ink pad above up for auction on eBay. I put it on my watch list because I adored it. I sensed its special quality. Apparently, the turtle vermillion ink pad was made in Kyoto, Japan and it was sold to the seller in a specialized, traditional calligraphy shop there. The seller said that he was selling the ink pad because he no longer dabbles in calligraphy. He claims that the the turtle is considered to be an “auspicious” animal in Japan.
Now the truth is, my second Zen Art class is already this afternoon, and I am not a patient gal. I wanted my stamp, and my Asian red ink for today. I had already done a “Buy It Now” on an interesting stone stamp and I didn’t want to wait around for an auction to end on the ink pad above, so instead, I purchased a more “practical and pedestrian” ink pad from Amazon, and that was that. Truthfully, I had forgotten all about the turtle ink pad on eBay.
Last night, I was having trouble falling asleep. My husband and our three dogs were snoring away in chorus, as I tossed and I turned. Finally, I picked up my phone and I played around with it, and then I looked at my email. There was an automated email from eBay saying that the turtle ink pad auction was about to end and there were no bids on it. Eleven minutes from ending, I placed my bid. What did I have to lose? I played a couple of games and when I came back to my email, it turns out that I had won the auction. The adorable turtle ink pad is mine!! I paid the seller and then I finally fell into a deep sleep.
Almost every morning, my husband arises at the ungodly hour of 4:45 to go to the gym. I sleep. Around 6 o’clock this morning, I hear the buzzing of texts going off on my phone. I look at my texts and I see that the Family Chat was full of texts. I could start feeling my heart beating out of my chest, but then I calmed myself, reminding myself that if there were a real emergency, there would have been an actual phone call from someone. I quickly looked at the texts. They started with my husband texting that he saw a strange little white thing moving erratically on our street this morning when he came home from the gym and he wanted to see what it was, so he got closer and this is what he found:
The little turtle’s bright white egg was hanging by a thread on its back. My husband gingerly scooped up the precious little hatchling, and he brought it to safety, by taking the newborn baby turtle off of the road and placing it on a rock, by the small lake in our backyard.
When I excitedly told my husband about purchasing the turtle inkwell last night, after hearing the wonderful story about him saving the hatchling this morning, I smiled the biggest smile (inside and out). These happenings are so “auspicious”, for all of us (the baby turtle included). I am not a believer in coincidence. Coincidence is always Spirit being anonymous and deliciously mysterious.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Meet Bert and Ernie. I just recently purchased these wonderful fellows from a seller on eBay, who lives in the same small town in Pennsylvania (population less than 4,000) where one of my grandfathers grew up. That (and also for their strange, unique, inimitable, one-of-a-kind style) was a huge part of why I chose to purchase “Bert and Ernie” (these aren’t their original names that I know of – I have chosen to give them these particular names so that I can easily refer to them, when my husband and I go plant shopping to fill them, in the near future.) Ironically, when we first moved to Florida, we lived on a street that had the same name as that very same small town, and at that bewildering time in my life, the irony and the familiarity of the street name, felt really special and comforting to me. I don’t believe in coincidences. I believe in the adage that “Coincidence is God acting anonymously.” I believe in continuous, comforting signs from parts yet unknown.
I love unusual jardinière. I believe that this love started when I was a young girl and I first read The Secret Garden. There is something mystical and magical about gardens filled with unusual plants and complementary pottery and statues. I believe that everything carries an energy, and everything shares the energy of the Creator and also of all of us, the mini-creators. I love that sensation of adding new energy into a space and seeing and feeling what that new object, or plant, or artwork brings to the overall area and vitality of that space. Of course, I am always at the real risk of clogging my energy with too much stuff. This I know. Still, Bert and Ernie are a great addition. I feel it in my bones. Our garden welcomes them.
“I can’t hear you, I have a banana in my ear!” — Ernie
“Oh, I love pigeons more than anything else in this world… besides oatmeal.” — Bert
“If you look the right way, you can see that the whole world is a garden.” ― Frances Hodgson Burnett, The Secret Garden
“At first people refuse to believe that a strange new thing can be done, then they begin to hope it can be done, then they see it can be done–then it is done and all the world wonders why it was not done centuries ago.” ― Frances Hodgson Burnett, The Secret Garden
****The Answer to your question: Windber, PA (for some puzzling reason people who aren’t familiar with Windber, always have a hard time spelling it . . . .it is “one of those words”)
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Happy Friday! Happy Friday Favorites!! On Friday, I keep it light and superficial on the blog and I discuss my favorites, such as products, beauty items, books, movies, websites, games, etc. It is the sensual stuff in life which makes it fun, so on Friday, I talk about the stuff that make my senses happy. Please check out previous Friday blog posts, for more favorites.
Before I get to today’s favorite, however, I have “a no horse pucky” story to tell you. Long time followers of the blog, know that I occasionally interject “no horse pucky” stories into the mix. (search up “no horse pucky” for more weird stories on the blog) These are stories that are so ridiculous and incredulous, you might think that I am pulling your tail. But I am not. Everybody has these crazy stories that happen in their lives every once in a while. These unusual events are so much fun to experience, and to retell.
Yesterday, our eldest son sent me a strange text. For background purposes, our eldest son is a tech professional who was attending a conference for his company in Boston earlier this week. My eldest son is a tall, gregarious twenty-six year-old man, who has curly red hair. (I only note his hair color because redheads/gingers can never be anonymous. They are rarely forgotten, primarily because they are so rare. Ask any ginger you know. This is the truth. When we took our son to Puerto Vallarta Mexico, when he was a toddler, the older village folk treated him like he was a god. They kept touching his hair for “good luck.”)
Anyway, the first line of the text said this: “Hey Mom! Random question for you, do you remember that apartment complex we moved into when we first moved to Charlotte (NC)? Was there a Colombian family there you gave a Steelers ornament to?”
Me: “Yes. Wow. Why?”
Our family moved from Pennsylvania to North Carolina in 2002, when our eldest son was six. We stayed in corporate housing apartments for three months that summer, until our house was ready to be moved into. While we were living in those apartments, we befriended a very nice Colombian family. They had just relocated to North Carolina from Columbia, because they wanted a safer place to live. Despite being well-off, educated professionals, and middle-class citizens in Columbia, they lived in constant fear of being kidnapped for ransom. That was a common thing in the early 2000s in Columbia. They said that they lived in terror, if any of the family members were even five minutes late coming home from work and appointments. We had a couple of enjoyable dinners together. I remember that they had lovely heirloom furniture and the wife introduced me to the wonders of cooking with capers. However, when we moved out of the apartment at the end of that summer, we lost touch and we never spoke or contacted each other again. We were never friends on social media.
Bottom line, it turns out that their son holds the same exact tech job, for the same exact company which my son works for, except that their son resides in Washington, D.C. and our son lives in New Jersey. Both young men happened to be at the same conference in Boston. Their son thought that he recognized my son (20 years after seeing each other at the age of six!) after they were talking and they realized that they had both lived in North Carolina as children.
Our son: “He told me his family kept that ornament for like ten years. LOL”
No horse pucky. In my opinion, coincidence is God being anonymous. This story brightened our day.
Okay, on to my favorite for today. It’s been a stressful summer, full of change and trepidation for our family and for our extended family. I have been looking for more items and objects to help me with mindfulness. On a whim, I purchased a Brain Games Sticker ByNumber book at our local grocery store. This book is like painting by numbers, but easier and less messy. The only skill that it requires is a steady hand. It’s such a satisfying, meditative activity and the end result is always really cute. I’ve already finished putting all of the stickers on that one particular book, and thus I have purchased three more of these Brain Games Sticker By Number books from Amazon. Try it. You’ll like it. You’ll relax doing it.
Have a great Friday! Go discover a new favorite to enjoy!! Don’t be afraid to play with stickers, no matter what your age!
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
