Tag: empty nest

Beauty to Wisdom

I’m delayed with my post this morning, because I had a first thing in the morning (first thing in the morning appointments are part of my “false sense of security”, avoiding coronavirus strategy) dermatologist appointment. All of this time we’ve had at home, has allowed me to notice more things. I’ve noticed a lot things around our home that need to be fixed, cleaned up and upgraded. I’ve noticed that as much as I don’t love cooking, I do love home cooked meals, and I’ve noticed all sorts of interesting marks and patterns all over my skin, seemingly growing and changing on a daily basis.

When I was a young girl, the moles on my skin were called “beauty marks” by my family. I wore them proudly, enjoying the idea that every part of my body was sprinkled with a little bit of beauty. Also, when I was a young girl, sunscreen was not considered to be vital. In fact, I was more likely to use a whole bottle of baby oil on my skin than any sunscreen. Thankfully, I was raised in Pennsylvania, so my skin is not quite as ravaged by the sun, had I been raised here in Florida. Still, my chest definitely looks worse for the wear. Today, my dermatologist called my moles/beauty marks . . . “wisdom marks.” Let me tell you, I have a whole, big and busy map of wisdom on my chest. I am one wise woman! I find it interesting that when “beauty marks” age they are called “wisdom marks”. My husband’s dermatologist calls my husband’s moles, “barnacles.” I’ll stick with “wisdom marks.”

I was very relieved that my doctor saw no signs of skin cancer. I told her that I was kind of bothered that my beauty/wisdom marks had gotten kind of puffy, like little brown chocolate muffins. She told me to leave them alone; that moles just get kind of plump as we age. The dermatologist did mention that by the time I am in my late seventies, my age marks should flatten out and get skinny again. I wonder if that will be the case for my whole body?! I hope not. I’d rather be less puffy, right now. However if I’m honest with myself, the coronavirus quarantine hasn’t helped much with the flattening effect on anything on my body – quite the opposite actually. I’m not going to worry about that fact too much today, though. For today, I am going to relish in resting and living in my beautiful suit of pure, puffy WISDOM.

In Memoriam

https://www.facebook.com/NorthGeorgiaVapor/videos/377365622880358/?t=0

My brother-in-law shared the above video. It says more than any words could convey. Thank you to all of you who have served our country, and for those of you who have lost loved ones, because these people had to pay the ultimate price for our freedoms, my heart goes out to you in gratitude. No wonder why you feel such a deep, deep loss. You loved some of the most courageous, giving people the world has ever known. You are in my heart today.

Have a happy and safe Memorial Day, friends.

Soul Sunday

Hi friends. Welcome to Soul Sunday. My regular readers know and understand that Sundays are dedicated to poetry here at Adulting – Second Half. I like to call it a poetry workshop. Most of the time, I write a poem or I reprint another author’s poem which has moved me. I strongly encourage my readers to share your own poetry in my Comments section. We don’t critique. We just share and enjoy, each other’s intriguing word play.

I was feeling a little abstract with today’s poem that I wrote. Here is my sharing for today. Please enjoy it and have a peaceful, beautiful day!

Epiphany

It appears that your true self has been leaking out of you, your whole life

But you never noticed the clues.

The power and the majesty and the synchronicities have left a trail

Of obvious and tantalizing bread crumbs

But you weren’t hungry enough to follow them, nor to realize,

that the crumbs created the clear pathway, to what you were always seeking.

Perhaps you were too distracted or perhaps you didn’t realize that the very diversions themselves,

Were actually what tied everything together into a fascinating, obvious conclusion.

You were leaving yourself your own hints, but you never knew that they applied,

to the greatest, most intriguing mystery of your life . . . . yourself.

My Ninja Mask

“It’s not the strongest species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the most responsive to change.” – Charles Darwin

If ever there was a year to see how adaptable we are, 2020 would be it. The first time I saw a child in the grocery store with a mask on, my stomach lurched and my heart filled with sadness. My youngest son recently commented on the same fact. Seeing children wearing masks brings a visceral reaction for a lot of us. Of course, our precious children need to be protected. Wearing masks is smart, considerate and often required. Interestingly, my eight-year-old mentee loves her “camo” mask. She told me that it matches a lot of her clothes and she feels like a ninja. I would call that being responsive to change.

Maybe if some of the rest of us adults could change the fear, anger, righteousness, embarrassment, frustration, and sadness that we often attach to the masks, to instead, a chance to bring out our own “inner ninjas”, our survival rates would go up and our contagion levels would go way down. I imagine that flexible, agile ninjas are the epitome of healthy immune systems. It’s a lot more fun to go about our daily chores with a stealthy ninja spirit, than a spirit filled with fear, defiance, resentment and defeatedness. Ninja energy seems to be a lot more vital and mysterious and sly, than already attaching sickness, pain and outrage, to what is nothing more than a piece of cloth and some string.

That’s What We Are

I recently ordered this African Bongo Djembe drum from Amazon. I love it! So does Josie, our collie. I have participated in a drum circle maybe a dozen times in my entire life. The last time I did it was probably over a year ago. I was having dinner with a friend and a drum circle was happening beside the restaurant where we were eating. After we were done eating, my friend and I walked over and impulsively joined in the pulsating circle. It was so fun and relaxing and meditative. Drum circle people tend to be very giving and inclusive, so I have always borrowed other people’s drums. This next time that I am able to safely join in a drum circle, I will now have my own drum to use and my own drum to share. I bought the drum as a reminder of things to look forward to, and as a reminder to keep expanding my interests and to keep following my whims. When I do this, I am truly living life and enjoying it, at its highest level. I can’t join a drum circle right now, and I certainly can’t borrow or share drums right now, but I am looking forward to times when I can do these things which speak to the most innate, instinctual parts of myself. In fact, I have been practicing a little bit with my new toy with this YouTube video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkwCvjpVPGg

You don’t really need a drum to do a fun drum circle. When my kids were younger, we would do drumming around a fire, with pots and pans and hollowed out oatmeal cartons. What I like best about drumming, is losing yourself in the rhythm. You start out self conscious and embarrassed (I don’t have a natural musical bone in my body), but before long you lose yourself to the freedom and joy of the heartbeat of your life and those lives around you. Drumming is contagious, but in a really good way, quite the opposite of the coronavirus.

10 Inspiring Quotes From Famous Drummers

Just U and I

There’s been quite a bit of talk about contact tracing and how important it will be, to keep the tide of new coronaviruses cases low, particularly now that we are reopening our states, at a rapid pace. Johns Hopkins is offering a free on-line course teaching people the skills needed to be a contact tracer and the link for that course can be found right here:

https://www.coursera.org/learn/covid-19-contact-tracing?edocomorp=covid-19-contact-tracing

I read that many states will be hiring thousands of contact tracers and therefore, many people are taking the course. Even people not particularly interested in actually becoming contact tracers are taking the course in order to learn how the contact tracing will work and how it will help slow down coronavirus infections in our communities. The course takes about 5-6 hours to complete.

Contact tracing uses a variety of people skills and sleuthing abilities to get in contact with as many people as an infected person may have passed the virus to, in order to convince these people who were possibly infected with the coronavirus, to get tested and to also, self-quarantine. Apparently the job takes a fair amount of people skills to wade through a sick person’s mistrust and fear and need for privacy, in order to be able to help the person currently infected, and all of those others who might have come in contact with the infected person. Since a lot of the work is done by telephone, and many people typically don’t answer unsolicited phone calls, the work can be very frustrating. Still, if you are a people person, and inclined to do sometimes tedious detective work, it would probably be quite fulfilling to do a job that quite literally, helps to save lives.

30 Best Life Saving Quotes and Quotations About Saving Lives ...

Gemini Season

“Many Geminis have erratic mood swings from one emotional or mental pole to the other. Since they’re used to having that split experience, Gemini might indeed think it’s all just how things are and will work its way out eventually.” (liveabout.com)

We are about to enter Gemini season. I know that a few of my readers, like me, enjoy dabbling with the Zodiac. I have Gemini rising, so I think that I understand a little bit, about having this dualistic nature. My own conflicting thoughts about this virus situation and how to respond to it all, sometimes torment me on a daily basis. Or I should say, I let my discordant thoughts and emotions about our ever changing “new normal”, eat at me, probably more than I should. I saw these two quotes on Twitter on the very same today, and both of them “spoke to me.” The quotes:

“I never thought I’d see a time that people were so afraid of dying, they would stop living.” – Matt Couch (Twitter)

“It’s funny, what many call boring and mundane, I call a simple and beautiful life.” – at least somebody (Twitter)

I think that I have to work on making peace with my choices. I need to be okay with what makes me happy, without needing approval from the outside world. I know that I am not alone with this strife. The need for outside approval has been a human struggle for all of history. My friend recently sent a thoughtful piece, to our friend group (the piece that’s been circulating around Facebook) that talks about the fact that everyone is going to handle this “opening back up” differently, and it is all okay. The overriding factor is that we have to be kind to others, understanding that we all have different circumstances, mindsets, experiences and feelings, in regards to this coronavirus. No one should be pressured to feel, or to do, anything that doesn’t resonate with them, personally. The Facebook piece suggests that we should all stay in our own lanes, and try to be less judgmental of others, as we struggle to move through this pandemic together. My personal frustration, one which I grapple with on a daily basis, is the constant, internal changing of the guard of my very own thoughts and feelings about all that is happening. I wish that I felt more sure and certain, about anything and everything. I find my own internal conflict one of the most frustrating aspects about what is going on now. Sometimes I wish I were more daring, carefree and devil-may-care about it all, but then I also hate the idea of playing the “fool.” I realize that I see myself as a more daring person that I really am, and in a way, that disappoints me, yet I also pride myself on my “wisdom.” I imagine that there’s a lesson here, if I can get myself into a calmer state of self-acceptance, in order to let the lesson seep in. So, are any of you out there being all “Gemini” about this pandemic? What has helped you to come to peace with your choices concerning the “re-opening” of the world? I would sincerely like to know. I think that it would be wonderful to come out of this nightmare, feeling more secure in just being myself, than ever before, and not needing anybody and everybody in the world, to validate my choices. And at the same time, I would like to be able to sincerely offer that same level of respect to others, for their rights to be fully comfortable in themselves, without needing my approval. I think I just found the crux of my latest lesson to absorb.

Just a Blip

It’s a dark and quiet and still morning, here at the house. My husband and I are the only ones up right now, working at our computers. It looks like it will be a rainy day today and for now, that sounds delicious. I have lit several candles and we have minimal lights on. Our dogs are back into deep slumber, after finishing their breakfast. It is so wonderfully peaceful. I hope that you all are experiencing the same calming peacefulness that I am feeling in this moment. I am bathing in tranquility.

I have mentioned before that I love to read Spirituality & Health magazine. The May/June edition of this year, is particularly good. I started ripping out pages that touched me, as I do with all of my magazines, until I realized that I was ripping out so many pages of this edition, that I really just need to keep the entire magazine, intact. Rabbi Rami Shapiro and I share most of the same ideas about spirituality. He answers religious/spiritual questions in every edition of the magazine and his answers are always so wise and compassionate and thought-provoking. I really like his answer to this question: “We humans are nothing more than a blip in the infinite expanse of the cosmos. Why do people matter?”

Rabbi Rami Shapiro’s answer:

“Think of the 26 letters of the English alphabet. These letters are the smallest component of this column – just a blip. Yet without letters there are no words, and without words there are no sentences, and without sentences there are no paragraphs, and without paragraphs there is no column, and without this column there is no paycheck, and without paycheck there is no food, and without food there is no me, and while I am also a blip, I matter – at least to me, my loved ones, and my creditors. So, while it is true that we humans are just a blip in the cosmos, without blips there is no cosmos at all.”

We blips matter. Shalom, rabbi.

Paved Paradise

Beautiful Flowers - Picture of Rotary Botanical Gardens ...

We have a little narrow flower bed in our back yard that is sort of a hodge podge of plants that didn’t do well in the front of our house, or in other more notable flower beds and planters around our house. We plant these failing, limp little greenies in this back bed, by a small lake, in hopes that they get revived. We got the idea from our local Home Depot store. They have a flower bed in an otherwise hot and cracked and ugly parking lot, that is filled with plants that didn’t sell. And honestly, both of these flower beds are among the prettiest groupings of plants and flowers that I have ever seen, other than in fanciful, public, well-tended botanical gardens. The flowers in our back bed and in the Home Depot leftovers bed, thrive and bloom and burst with all different colors and shapes and sizes. They aren’t particularly planned out arrangements, but the mixture of all of them, reaching to the sky and showing off their blooms and green finery, is stunning. The plants scream “I’m Happy!” Invariably, the plants and flowers which we put into our back bed, thrive better than any other plants that we care for, inside and outside of our home.

It struck me the other day, that through this whole coronavirus situation, a lot of us have been thrown to “the back beds” of our lives. But the interesting thing is, I would be willing to bet that we all have gotten a few “happy surprises” and insights about ourselves and our lives. We might find that there are some aspects of being in the back bed that have really helped us to truly thrive, maybe even in some ways, better than ever. In my own family, my husband has worked from our home, instead of an outside office, for the first time in his thirty years of working on his career. And he likes it. My mentees have mentioned that online learning works better for them and they feel like they are learning more, without distractions. Friends and family have all noted that the less rushed pace and the no longer filled up calendar pages, have really helped with catching up on much needed rest and contemplation. We all seem to hope to keep more open space in our lives, even after this virus situation corrects itself. I have found myself rediscovering some very comforting corners of my own house, with pretty views that I never took the time to notice before. My husband and I are in the beginning stages of contemplation of what and where our empty nest should look like, once our daughter goes to college in a couple of years, and this virus situation has really helped narrow the field. Despite sometimes being intrigued to try city living (we’ve always been suburbanites), we realized, through this situation, that it is an abundance of nature which really soothes our souls. A big city is no longer a draw for us, in retirement. In fact, we’ve even been tossing around the idea of a more rural way of life.

Most of the plants which we attempt to heal and to revive, in our back flower bed, come back with a flourish. Sometimes we do end up re-planting the renewed bloomers back in other parts of our yard, but many of the once withering plants, end up staying in place, in the back bed by the lake where they were restored. They stay where they were healed. They bloom where they are planted. And their beautiful rejuvenation is a glorious sight to behold!

Alleluia, Friday!

Image

Hi friends! Happy weekend!! Happy Favorite Things Friday!! New readers, Fridays are light and on the surface here at Adulting – Second Half. On Fridays, I discuss three favorite items, songs, foods, etc. of mine and I strongly encourage you to add your favorites to the Comments section. Fridays are all about the material pleasures of life. Please see previous Friday posts for more favorites.

Here are my favorites for today:

S.E. Rogie’s African Gospel – My husband turned me on to Sooliman E. Rogie and his uplifting, comforting music. He read an article about this very talented musician and my very old-fashioned iPod now has several S. E. Rogie songs downloaded on to it. I can’t stop playing this particular song, African Gospel. See this link:

Essentia Overachieving H2O – One of the hidden blessings of this coronavirus situation has been the long 8-10 mile bike rides my daughter and I have been taking together, about 3-4 times a week. It has really been a bonding experience for both of us. This has required me to seriously consider my hydration levels in my body. Recently, I bought this brand of water, out of curiosity. Is bottled water a form of snake oil? I don’t know, but I definitely feel like there is something special to this 9.5 pH water. It tastes like it has more “substance” than the usual tap or bottled water. Honestly, it’s a little bit “slimier” than other water, but in a really good way. But the best of it, is that I feel more hydrated for longer periods of time, when I drink it. Give it a try. It’s not inexpensive, but for times that you want to feel fully hydrated, I think this one’s the ticket.

Mason Jars – About a week ago, my family and I took a “field trip” to a local sunflower farm. They used mason jars for everything there. Mason Jars were the vases, the drinking glasses, the candy jars, etc. Sometimes, you need to be reminded of the every day items that you have around the house, and how lovely and useful these items can be. So dust off your Ball Wide Mouth mason jars and allow them to help you bring some comforting country charm, into your daily life.

840 Best Inspiring Memes images in 2020 | Inspirational quotes ...