Happy Monday! Happy Fun-day from Florida, the capital of lawn flamingoes!! Now before getting on with your day, and on with your week, think of 3-5 things which you are grateful for, right in this moment. Next, think about why you are so thankful for these things, people, happenings, pets, etc., and feel how good you feel. Pause and bask in it. This is the good, warm fuzzy feeling that you are aiming for all week. You are meant to feel this good, all of the time. This good feeling is what being aligned with the Universe is all about. Any time you start getting frazzled or angry or sad, use this activity to get back on track. Have a great week!!
Good morning friends and readers. Sundays are devoted to poetry here at Adulting –Second Half. On Sundays, I either write a poem or I share someone else’s poem and I would love to see some of your poems, too. I consider this spot to be a Doodle book, a poetry workshop where we just let the words and the emotions spill on the page, as they care to land. Here is my poem for the day:
Two Words is All
There is a reason why the pen is mightier than the sword.
The pen has a penchant for words,
While the sword just clumsily goes for blood.
Remember there are two words that are more powerful than anything.
The best prayer, the best spell, the best energy director in the world,
is found in two words. Get your most elegant weapon,
And write this phrase down:
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Carry these words with you in your sacred sheath, and wield them often.
Direct them towards all of the bounties and all of the blessings,
Which create the arrangement of your every day life.
And then feel your energy and your power,
Soar to heights that you didn’t know were possible.
It really is that simple.
Two words: Thank you.
Use the incantation often and always and sincerely,
And feel, and soak, and marinate in their immense power,
And then submerge in the transformation of your own lasting peace.
What are things that you see or you experience in any one day, that make you feel protected and connected and loved and fulfilled, not by just what and who you love here on Earth, but by everyone you have ever loved, and by spiritual forces that don’t even exist on this plane? Here are some of mine:
Butterflies (blue in particular), cardinals, owls, lucky pennies, a flower seemingly blooming out of nowhere, softly tinkling windchimes, finding long lost items, dolphins, coincidences and synchronicities, the right words just at the right time, hawks, realization of living prayers answered, rainbows, constantly noticing 11:11 and 12:16 on the clock, luxurious smells that don’t seem to have a source, white feathers, the right books recommended to me just at the right time . . . .
These are just a few things that came to my mind, off hand. Take today to be on the lookout for your favorite signs and hugs and winks from the Universe. Let that be your scavenger hunt for the day, but don’t try too hard. Let these signs come to you. When you do see one, which I’m sure that you will, your whole day will seem to become even more magical and miraculous than you ever truly realized. Make looking for the signs a habit, and your weeks and your months and eventually, even your years, will become walking meditations of the sublime.
“Slow down, vow to do what’s best for your well-being at every moment of the day. Have a good understanding of where your attention goes.” – Valencia (Twitter)
Unfortunately, instead of coming together during this pandemic, in some ways, there has been a fair amount of divisiveness and judgment and anger, coming from every angle, towards and against each other. Perhaps this is just a way to release a lot of pent-up angst over this very difficult year and the people around us, are our most easy targets. I know that many people have felt judged for being too carefree with their actions and their responses to the virus, but I also know that at the opposite side of the spectrum, many people feel judged for being too careful or too fearful. This post by C. Joybell C. made a lot of sense to me, for those of us who have felt judged for being cautious, at times.
I have been reading about a life management theory called The Four Burner Theory. In this theory, each broad element/major category of our lives is divided into the four major headings shown above, like four burners on a stove. The theory states that in order to be truly masterful, and to absolutely shine in any one particular category in life, you must shut off at least one of the other categories, and most likely, you will need to shut off two of the categories, for maximum results. If you wish to lead a balanced life, you must come to terms with, at best, being above average in each category, keeping each area of attention, at a medium heat and at a roughly equal shared level of focus. When I first read this theory, I found it to be a little bit disheartening, but at almost 50 years of life, I also see it to be true.
A decade ago, my husband was working for a gigantic corporation and he was talking to one of the higher ups (an older man extremely high up the ladder of a very large corporation). He asked the man how he had managed to balance it all. “I didn’t,” he said, being totally frank and honest. The man was on his third marriage and had a lukewarm relationship with his children.
It is interesting to me, to see how important it is to my sons, at this stage of college and at the beginning of their careers, to find a “work/life balance” while approaching their career goals. I don’t even remember that phrase being in existence when I was in college, but it makes me happy to see that it is a major consideration for the generations coming up behind us. If you aren’t conscious as to where all of your time and energy is going, life can pass you by, before you’ve even considered your priorities, and what you want out of this experience which we call Life.
It was also heartening for me to realize that at different stages of your life, you can choose to put a different burner on high heat, and pour your focus into what is cooking in a different pot, a pot you never really focused on previously. My Family burner was on high heat for most of my adult life. While I’ll never choose to shut that burner entirely off, I now have more time to focus on my Work burner (writing), as my Family is now more self sufficient than ever.
Finally, I think this theory is a good one to have in the back of my mind, because it clear to me, from my life’s experiences, that if you try to keep all four burners at high heat for any extended amount of time, a short is bound to happen. Then, you’ll be lucky to have any burners going at all. At that time, if you are lucky, you will only have one burner to focus on, and that one is Health, and there will be no choice in the matter, as to where you have to put all of your concentration.
I was all set to write about this life management theory that I have been learning about and that I find to be very interesting. Then, I got distracted (story of my life) during my morning reading, and I found two quotes that really struck me as important enough to discuss. I use this blog to commune with you, my wonderful readers, but also as a library of sorts, for me to keep useful, interesting information and inspiration for myself. So, tune in tomorrow for words on a thought-provoking life theory, but for today, here are the quotes:
“At the end of a good book, I always feel fuller, but also irrationally abandoned.” – Charmeuse (Twitter)
I absolutely love when someone puts into words exactly how I feel and in such an easy, succinct way to understand. I always feel this way after a good book. The two best books that I have read lately, which made me feel this way, were Glennon Doyle’s UNTAMED and J.D. Vance’s HILLBILLY ELEGY. (this one has been made into a movie directed by Ron Howard. I am very excited to watch it!)
The second quote is a little more somber. This is the quote:
“Make peace with the apology that isn’t coming.” – Valencia (Twitter)
The most beautiful heartfelt, thought-out apologies which I have ever received are from kind, loving people who have barely offended me. (we all make mistakes) These apologies were full of emotional empathy, not one excuse, and were followed with an earnest change in behavior. I think that a lot of us (or at the very least, me) get caught up in these fantasies, of that type of sincere, genuine apology coming from the people who have cut us to our cores. But here’s reality friends, people who are capable of hurting us that deeply, are most likely the same types of people who are not capable of a great deal of empathy and self reflection and introspection. Hurting people hurt people. Unfortunately, it is typically the most damaged souls that cause the most damage. These people are not capable of the apologies and of the understanding (the kind of apologies that are often shown at the climax of a dramatic movie) which we are most wanting and needing to hear. So the sooner that you can make peace with the fact, that the genuine apology is unlikely to occur, and trust yourself going forward, to keep healthy boundaries with toxic people and negative situations, the easier it is to move on with your life, forgiving yourself and others, for past situations that caused harm. (Remember forgiving does not mean forgetting or even resuming a relationship. It just means letting go of the rumination and the pain of it all. Forgiveness is for yourself.) Take only the growth and the lessons and the wisdom which you gleaned from a relationship or a happening, and let go of your need for the apology. It is the only way to peace. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. And remember, if by rare chance, a person does do the hard work to change their ways, and evolves into a better, more authentic person, the apology received will be like the cherry on top, of the beautiful, delicious dessert that you have already created for yourself, with your healed and happy life.
Monday Fun-day!! Beware, I love corny jokes. Expect the corniest of corny every Monday, from here on out. This meme reminds me how much I love to sleep in on the weekends and thus, why my Mondays tend to start off on the wrong, stumbly foot.
Have a great week, friends!!! Laugh often and love much.
Sometimes, when I am bored, I think of crazy scenarios in my head, and then I tell myself, “Someone has done, or will do, exactly the insane storyline that I have playing in my head,” and then I crack myself up. It’s like my own little sit-com, playing in my brain. So when I saw this meme this morning, I giggled to myself, realizing that I am not alone in my fun little game. But then I thought, someone else is thinking, “Someone out there is weird enough to think of crazy things which people could do, and then thinking that someone probably has already done the said crazy antic.” Remember, I write this blog from Florida, home of “Florida Man.” Nothing is too crazy for Florida Man.
Hi friends! Happy Friday!!! Happy Favorite Things Friday!!!! New friends, Fridays are light and breezy. We keep it on the surface here at Adulting – Second Half, on Fridays. On Fridays, I typically list three favorite books, songs, products, food stuff, etc. that just makes life a little bit more fun, and I strongly encourage you to tell us about your favorites in my Comments section. Please see previous Friday listings for more good stuff. With the holidays around the corner, we need good ideas for gifts and pleasures. On that note, my friend who is a grandmother, just got her Amazon Prime Wish book in the mail. Her granddaughter can put stickers (that are included with the wish book) on the toys that she would like Santa (and her doting grandparents) to bring her. I love this “blast from the past”! Remember those days of drawing circles and stars on the toy catalogs?!
Today’s favorites (mine):
Medisafe app – As you know, our youngest son is epileptic and it is crucial that he takes his medicine regularly and around the same times, each day. (and keep in mind that he is a 19-year old fraternity boy . . . yeah) This app for his phone has made a world of difference for making sure that he takes his meds on time, and that he is not confused about having taken them or not, because of the way it reminds him with friendly, repeating messages and alarms. (It’s like me, his mom, in app form) It also requires him to check off that he did, indeed, take his meds. It has been a game changer in his medicine management which gives all of us great peace of mind. If you or your loved ones have medications which are needed to be taken regularly, check out this free app for your phone. It can literally be a lifesaver.
Snyders Pretzel Rounds – I am a total sucker for the next new thing. These pretzels are about the size of marbles. They are adorable. They don’t taste any different, but they are damn cute. I think big crusty pretzels can be messy and crumbly to eat. These Rounds eliminate that element of pretzel chomping. They also look adorable in a bowl. It’s a safe way to try something “new” to snack on. Don’t get yourself in a twist to enjoy some pretzel fun. (not everyone agrees though – my husband calls them “dust balls”)
Theorie Pure Professional Volumizing Shampoo and Conditioner – According to every hair stylist I have ever gone to, I have a lot of hair, however, it’s a lot of very thin-stranded hair. I am always trying to get more volume in my hair. This shampoo and conditioner has given me more success than the myriad of other brands which I have tried, without much success. This is my holy grail shampoo and conditioner, to get my Marge Simpson bouffant rocking.
+We were on the beach with Trip, our Boykin spaniel puppy, and he was racing around chasing all of the little, perky, harmless sandpipers into the water. Then, in the distance, he saw the BIG game. Big Bird (an enormous prehistoric looking heron) was standing on the shore in all of his glory. Trip bounded towards Big Bird, full speed ahead. Big Bird, looked annoyed and scoffed at the puppy, and he firmly held his ground. Trip, realizing that Big Bird was not going to go the way of the sandpipers, instantly put on the brakes, and the skid marks in the sand, were several feet long. My husband said that the sand looked like bunched up carpet. Nature and animals make me happy.
+I was at the beach last night watching the sunset with my good friends. Another group of women were laughing and celebrating close by. One woman was dancing around with her long beautiful gray/white hair. When we all headed to the shore, to take pictures of the sunset, we noticed that the one woman in the circle of friends, with the long hair, wore a t-shirt that said, “I am 70 today!” She made 70 look fabulous, and I instantly pictured myself in the future with my dear friends, 20 years from now. Friends and celebrations make me happy.
+We had our weekly Facetime chat with our four “children” last night. One “child” is a grown adult man who lives in another state, two of my “children” are college men away at school, and our daughter, who is a junior in high school, chatted from her bedroom, while my husband and I sat in front of my husband’s iPad in the kitchen. I’ve noticed as I’ve gotten older, that I really enjoy “the chatter” and “the banter” of my family. I try to pay attention to the details of the conversation, but I often get lost in just watching the familiar mannerisms and energy that make each person who I love so much, themselves, and also the chatty, teasing, loving, supportive, easy energy that is the true essence of my family. My family makes me happy.
What makes you happy? Just focus on that today. Put your attention towards what makes you happy, and let the rest just be. Give yourself a happy day. You deserve it.
