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Sacredness in Tears

I don’t have words today. Everything that I write seems trivial and wrong and ridiculous. You see, one of my good friends, a friend who has been so supportive of my writing and of my blog, is going through one of the worst pains imaginable for a parent. She lost her child. And nothing I say or write or do, can take that pain away. My heart is breaking for her. She is bearing her own pain, plus the pain of her husband and her other children. All that I can do for her, right now, is to pray for comfort and peace, for both she and her family. I ask you for your prayers for my friend and for her family as they travel that treacherous, long, rocky road called Grief. I love you, friend. I’m here for you.

“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition and of unspeakable love. ” – Washington Irving

April Fool’s – No Horse Pucky

Rabbit. Rabbit. Rabbit. Happy April Fool’s Day! Here’s another no horse-pucky story for the archives (please check out my other “no horse-pucky stories from previous posts, for a giggle or two):

When I was a freshman in college, my suite-mates had all gone home for the weekend before April Fool’s Day, but I had not. I was bored that weekend. It must have been a relatively quiet weekend at school or perhaps I had studied too hard, but I got a wild hair to pull off a great April Fool’s prank. I typed up an official looking note and taped it up on the door to our suite. It said something like this:

We regret to inform you that our pest control officers have found this Hall to be infested with indigenous pellet worms. In order to treat the area, you will need to move all of your furniture to the center of your rooms, wash all of your bedding, throw away all open food containers and remove any wall hangings. We are very sorry for this inconvenience and we appreciate your compliance.

I wish this had been during the day and age of smart phones. The looks of pure horror and disgust on my suite-mates’ faces, were priceless and would have made for a wonderful You-Tube video. I was actually astonished with how fast they got to work moving their furniture (one of the girls donned rubber gloves). I started feeling kind of guilty and I was having a hard time stifling my giggles, so when the food started getting thrown out, I had to come clean. As I recall, there were definitely some paybacks, but the prank was worth it. Albeit cheesy, I felt like I had pulled off the heist of the century.

By the way, I made up the term “indigenous pellet worm.” It sounded really gross and scientific, but there really is no such thing. No horse- pucky.

Is Anything Private?

“The only thing someone spying on me would learn is how many of my meals I eat in bed.” – someecards

I read an article the other day talking about how people are now doing a new form of cyber-stalking by watching people’s Venmo transactions. What?!? Apparently, unless you change the setting, all Venmo transactions that you have made, sending money to various people for various reasons, are public, for all the world to see. As a mother who does scan the transactions in my college son’s bank account, I am acutely aware of how much information you can glean from just looking at bank statements. Late night and early morning uber charges, are very telling.

I have a friend who can always give me “the skinny” on all of our kids’ mutual friends. I asked her once how she knows all of this stuff and how she can keep up with it all. She told me that she has insomnia and that teenagers are very public and open about their lives, on-line.

I’m still guilty of the “what I don’t know, can’t hurt me” mentality. I like living in my own fantasy land, believing that the world is a prettier, neater, kinder, place than it often is, sometimes. There is a lot out there that I really just prefer not to know, even with The Truth (if it is the truth?!?) being available to me with just a couple of Google searches and a click of the mouse. I guess I would have made a terrible detective.

“I’m not a stalker. I’m just curious and oh and, by the way, you are out of milk.” – someecards

Fried-day

Last night, I ordered the fried seafood extravaganza at a local little restaurant my husband and I love to frequent. With a side of fries. It arrived, a giant, overflowing pile of various shapes, in crispy brown. Yes, it tasted great, but now my mouth is still coated in grease, my stomach is churning and burning, and my mind is trying to come up with a formula for the number of cucumbers and kale leaves I must eat today, to counteract the damage done. I’m going to have to cut this short today, friends. (Friend is a much better word than fried, it’s amazing what one little letter can do . . . ) Virginia Woolf said it best:


“One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.” 

Nor can one write well. Well, maybe Virginia Woolf could, but she was Virginia Woolf.

Kanye Loves Kanye

“Tuesday would be a lot cuter if it were Friday.” – Anonymous

“I love Fridays like Kanye loves Kanye.” – Anonymous

Happy Friday!!! Happy Favorite Things Friday!!! New readers, I let my serious side go on Fridays, and I keep it light and airy. I describe three things, songs, websites, food sources, etc. that I just delight in. Please check out previous Fridays for more delicious ideas for how to spice up your life. And please share your own recommendations in my comments section! My “favorite things pile” is depleting fast, especially as I try to simplify and pare down my clutter and just my life in general.

Here we go, Friday, here we go:

Double Doggie – Most of us who love pets, see animals like we see potato chips or cookies – you can’t just have one. As my regular readers and friends know, we have two big dogs. Ralphie, is our energy-filled 82-pound labrador retriever and Josie, is our sweet and nosy, 60-some pound collie. I purchased the Double Doggie at an animal charity event years ago and I am so happy that I did. You see, I have gotten a concussion walking Ralphie as he walked me right off of my feet and Josie is a herding dog. My next concussion is probably going to come from Josie tripping me. The Double Doggie is a swivel handle that holds both dogs’ leashes and allows the dogs to be walked together, even as Ralphie’s nose takes him into 500 different directions and as Josie tries to herd Ralphie, me, and all of the toads on our sidewalks, all at once, as we are walking. Worth every penny!

Fanola No Yellow Shampoo – If your hair has the tendency to get brassy like my hair does, and you don’t feel like going to your hair salon every two weeks for a tone-down job, this shampoo does the trick! It is very, very purple shampoo that keeps the brass, by-passed. Just be careful, because although it doesn’t stain, the deep dark purple color of the shampoo has a tendency to land all over the bathroom for some reason and it looks alarming, like it will stain. Overall, cheap and magnifique!

Hookless Brand Shower Curtains – We are having a couple of our bathrooms renovated and I just bought one of these shower curtains for my daughter’s bathroom. This is one of those “no duh” inventions that you can’t imagine why it wasn’t thought of earlier than in the last few years. How many times did I mismatch the holes in the liner with the holes in my shower curtain and then have to do and re-do the fancy little hooks (praying I didn’t lose one, or that one of the hooks would break or rust) when I didn’t have Hookless shower curtains?? Countless times! Hanging my shower curtain before my Hookless shower curtain, seemed to take years, and it was a huge lesson in patience and frustration. I hung the new Hookless shower curtain in three minutes, tops. The liner just snaps on the back of it, making the liner easy to remove and to clean. There are so many pretty patterns to choose from. Love it!!

周末愉快 – According to Quora, this is Happy Friday in Chinese! Happy Friday, my dear friends and readers! Have yourself a fabulous weekend . . . if you want to!

A Lonely Little Bee

“Our language has wisely sensed the two sides of being alone. It has created the word “loneliness” to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word “solitude” to express the glory of being alone.”
– Paul Tillich

I was reading a blog yesterday in which the writer was saying that she always could sense in herself when she wasn’t getting enough solitude. She felt edgy, snappy, frustrated and a little bit of almost crawling out of her skin. I love when I read something that I completely relate to, because I need solitude in the same way that the writer does and I have not been getting much of it lately, with the renovations going on in our home. I am trying to be my own little quiet island in the middle of a beehive, and it isn’t working so well. I wonder if a lot of writers crave solitude?

I have another friend who doesn’t seem to like being alone at all. Her life is the beehive and she is the Queen Bee. This friend seems to be always wanting to expand her beehive in all directions. I love having friends like her because when my self-imposed solitude turns to loneliness, I know that I always have someone to go out with, or to chat with. She is the busy bee in my life who knows all about the fun, public, social happenings going on and she’s usually in the center of it all.

I suppose the key is sensing in yourself when you are in a state of delicious, tranquil, meditative solitude versus despairing, paranoiac, angst-filled loneliness. The cure to my anxiety, when I am overstimulated and distracted, is to get to a place where I can bathe in my secluded, peaceful, solitude and the cure to my loneliness is the nearby buzzing of the beehive which seems always open for more energy and more expression.

“In loneliness I have no one but myself. In solitude I have God.” – anonymous

This Blog Post is Now Live!

Starting out on an aside, I write my blog on WordPress and when I press the Publish button, it says “The Title of Today’s Blog” is now live! That makes me feel so excited. It’s like I am on a production set or something. It’s often the accumulation of all the little special extras that can make a day in your life so grand.

One of my favorite Twitter feeds is called Think Smarter. Think Smarter posted this the other day: Please share the best lesson your life has taught you. So far.

Here are some of my favorite answers that rang true to me:

This too shall pass.

Your choices make you.

You are the architect of your own life.

Be patient.

There are always two sides to every story.

Know what matters.

Respect yourself, respect other people and they will respect you.

All actions and in-actions have consequences.

God has your back.

You are responsible for your own happiness.

Never give up.

Don’t judge a book by its cover.

Never buy a cheap frying pan.

Don’t take your health for granted.

God always has a better plan for you than you have for yourself.

Don’t piss in the wind.

Happiness is not outside. It’s inside.

Tough times don’t last, tough people do.

Your kids will follow your example, not your advice.

All of these rang true to me and have been proven to me again and again in my 48 years of life. I saved my favorite for last:

Everything happens for a reason. Someday it will make PERFECT sense.

Spice to Mashed Potatoes

Yesterday, I got out of my element. I drove a few hours away and I spent a beautiful day with a wonderful companion, with my two dogs in tow. We meandered through a beautiful garden setting, chatting and laughing with each other, and with other people we met along the way. It was a lovely day.

I used to be a bit better about giving myself to adventures. I would purposely seek out different neighborhoods to visit, different roads to travel and different perspectives to consider. As I’ve aged, I’ve noticed my anxiety level rises a little more than it used to, when I wander off my beaten path. I find my local turf to be more comfortable and more of my “go-to” experience than ever before. It’s kind of like that comfortable old pair of shoes that seem to get chosen to get worn every day, even with the shiny, new shoes, still in their box, sitting right next to the old worn ones. These new shoes are just begging to be tried out and to get their chance to become worn, and then worn out.

Yesterday was an excellent reminder that it’s fun to put on the shiny, new shoes sometimes and to step out of my box and its confines. Yesterday was refreshing. I felt very vibrant and alive. The old, well worn, comfortable shoes will always be there for me. In fact, I’ll be slipping them on today and probably wearing them most of the week. However, I’m going to make a point of trying out the shiny, new ones a little more than I have been doing lately. They may take me on to paths to places that I like so much, that these new places could expand my experience of who and what are, my people and my places of comfort. At the very least, these new paths will add a little spice to my mashed potatoes and gravy.

Dollar Store Staples

Over the weekend, I bought a few mylar balloons to decorate for my daughter’s birthday. I remember when mylar balloons first came on the scene. They were considered to be amazing and exotic and indulgent. They were considered a luxurious treat to have at a party. One of them probably cost around ten dollars. Now mylar balloons are Dollar Store staples and a given at any party.

It struck me that I have reached the age where I can recall when a lot of things were new and exciting additions to the market, that are now considered old fashioned and passe. These are things that the younger generations just take for granted. I remember when there was a Texas Instruments store in the mall, which was kind of like the Apple stores of today. My father treated me to a solar calculator. It was expensive and featured in the center of the store with a spotlight on it. They kept the solar calculator behind glass, like it was the Hope diamond. I am not exaggerating. Now solar calculators are also Dollar Store staples.

I remember my grandparents talking about remembering when they got their first telephones and their first televisions. They talked about an air conditioned car being considered a major luxury. I remember thinking, “Wow, they are really ancient people.” Now, kids today might think that about me, if they read this blog post. When walking on a seaside trail this weekend, my husband and I chuckled about how many babies in strollers we passed, all holding iPads. Some day, when these babies are my age, they’ll be talking about remembering playing with iPads in their cribs and strollers. And their kids and grandkids will laugh and scoff because iPads will probably be Dollar Store staples.

The Fine Line

“Kidding is when both people can laugh at the joke.” – Ellen Degeneres

There is always such a fine line that you hope that you don’t cross over when the teasing and the kidding starts up. I am a kidder and I have a huge tendency to put my foot in my mouth, but I try to be sensitive. I can’t stand roasts. I think that they are awful. I try to be calm and laugh politely at jokes aimed at myself, because I don’t want to be in the “She can dish it out, but she can’t take it,” camp. I think it is healthy to be able to laugh at yourself. However, kidding is touchy. Still, I’d hate a world without any ribbing and fun. I’ve heard that people only tease other people whom they really like. When I was a young girl, teasing was supposed to be a gauge of how well a boy liked you. The first little boy who ever asked me to “go with him”, pushed me into some bushes first, which of course, made everyone else laugh. Perhaps there is some truth to that statement.

My kids loved to watch SpongeBob SquarePants when they were younger and I honestly liked watching it with them, too. Two or three episodes stick out in my mind – Patrick deciding SpongeBob was probably ugly and that’s why he was repelling other creatures (it turns out it was just his bad breath) and SpongeBob learning to drive – both of these episodes can still make me laugh until I cry. The other episode that applies to this blog is when SpongeBob decides to become a stand-up comedian and he finds out that his audience loves squirrel jokes. The only problem with this is, that SpongeBob’s best friend is Sandy, the squirrel. Obviously, SpongeBob has to learn the hard way that making jokes at the expense of your friend’s feelings, may mean the loss of your friend.

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