Blog

Free-form

Just some random, scattered thoughts on a newly minted summer day:

My husband and I talked to our eldest son last night. He was talking about some of the new friends he has made in his new town. He mentioned that the one man is quite chatty. I wondered if that got on my son’s nerves, but he said, “No, not at all. I find it kind of effortless and relaxing, to talk with him. I say one sentence and my friend just starts talking. It’s kind of like listening to a podcast.” We all need those chatty Cathy types when we just don’t feel like talking, don’t we? I thought that the “the podcast” quote was an interesting millennial spin on this type of situation.

Our collie is quite pushy when she wants to be pet. She has a very long, Collie nose and if you quit petting her, she nudges under your arm with her long nose, trying to get you to pet her again. It’s a trait of hers that I find endearing and annoying, in equal parts. There are times I am writing my boopuojqou uajoy qauru (collie nose nudge). She is particularly nosy when I am writing my blog. Dogs can be like little kids, they want your attention the most, when you are completely absorbed in what you are doing. They only want your full-on attention, when they don’t have it.

The other day I decided to just poke my hand into a neighborhood community library (the kind that looks like a little bird mansion) and just pull out any random book and try to read it. I ended up pulling out Who Moved My Cheese? by Spencer Johnson. Ironically, about a month ago, I was perusing a vintage book store (are all book stores now starting to be considered “vintage”?!? boohoo) with my middle son, and he asked me to buy him a copy of this very same book, as he had heard that it was an excellent, must-read classic. I bought it for him and I didn’t give it much else thought. I had read it years ago. However, I don’t believe in coincidences. (My friend taught me that coincidence is God being anonymous.) When I pulled the book randomly out of the bird mansion, I decided the Universe was making a point here. I was meant to read the book again. Who Moved My Cheese? is a quick, excellent read, with the bottom line of the book being – Expect, Embrace and Move Along with Change. Change has been a pretty constant theme of my life, especially in the past year or so. I have tried not to resist changes or to be surprised by all of the changes happening in our family’s collective lives, but I could stand to do some self observation, to find areas where I might still be a little “stuck.”

I ordered this really jazzy, glittery, glitzy, girly, rose gold nail polish that is not part of my usual style paradigm. A woman who was waiting on me was wearing it and I just thought, “Wow!” Just, “Wow!” I wonder if I should wait until it arrives, or just do my much-needed toenail polish change now and have the amazing new color to look forward to, the next time that I desperately need a nail polish color change? (which in the summer is much more frequent) Hmmmm.

Okay, friends. I let you inside of my head this morning. Put your random thoughts in the Comments section. Sometimes random, free-form thoughts are the most provoking, intriguing thoughts of the day.

In Session

My daughter and I watched a movie called The Switch, the other night. It featured Jennifer Aniston and Jason Bateman. I love both of these actors so I wanted to like the movie more than I did, but it was still a fun, cute watch. Even with movies and books that I don’t particularly like, I usually have some glean of wisdom that sticks with me. There was one line from this movie, that I thought was particularly good.

Jennifer Aniston’s character, in The Switch, has decided that she is ready for a baby, despite the fact that she has not found a suitable partner in life, yet. She is seriously considering artificial insemination. Jennifer quotes a motivational speaker who says, “Life is in session.”

Life is in session.

Now, of course, Jason Bateman , who essentially plays “Jason Bateman” in every role that he has ever had, makes fun of this statement in his usual snarky, sarcastic way. But I personally thought that the statement is spot on. It sticks with me.

Whether we like it or not, Life is in session. It doesn’t stop for us. Today, seems like it is really the official, first day of summer for my family. The official summer schedule has begun. My youngest son, who is still at home, has started his first day of his summer job. My daughter will start her first day of summer volunteering. Her tennis schedule is now switched to summer hours. My husband’s work schedule always seems to change to more of a summer pace right around this time of year, every year. My summer schedule, as many moms can relate to, falls in line with the rest of my family’s agenda.

Life is in session. We are in summer session. Life feels slower, hotter, more relaxed, less scattered. But that is just an illusion. Life is still going on. Life is in session. Am I taking full advantage of this free, challenging, exciting, surprising, interesting course that I have been gifted? That could end at any point? Am I?

Life is in session.

Where is the Button?

Today is a much better day. Actually, my migraine had completely passed by yesterday afternoon and I had what I like to call a “power surge”. Yesterday afternoon, I became a whirling dervish, an energizer bunny and I checked off a bunch of tasks that I had been putting off doing forever. It is such a great feeling when you get yourself into that kind of “high energy”, focused-on-completion mode. I wish that I could find the “power surge” button on myself, so that I could use it whenever I wanted to get things done, but the source of it, remains entirely elusive. This source of determined, high level stamina seems to come out of nowhere, at times when I least expect to feel up to the challenge of a not very desirable, yet necessary chore. Perhaps it is just not good for our physical bodies, to get into that fast and furious process of getting things accomplished and accomplished well, all that often. But the satisfactory completion of daunting tasks, is the most wonderful thing for my mental health, for sure. Button, button, who’s got the button???


The flourishing of bursts of energy dies beyond us. – Isidore Isou

(I think that this is the appropriate quote for my post, but I couldn’t say for sure. This is from the French poet, Isidore Isou’s Manifesto of Letterist Poetry. I take it to mean, that bursts of energy are indeed an illusive, mysterious phenomenon that will far outlast any of us in the evolution of Life. Please share your interpretations in the Comments section. I’m very comfortable being corrected when I am wrong. Usually. Okay, only sometimes am I comfortable with being corrected when I am wrong. – my husband faithfully reads my blog every day, so I did some edit corrections before he called me out on the need for it.)


Migraine Madness

Unfortunately, I am not going to be able to post much today. I am at the tail end of a miserable migraine that took me two doses of my meds to get rid of and I usually only have to take one. I decided to write about this here, not for sympathy, but hopefully to help someone else. You see, I now realize that I have been prone to migraines for most of my life, but I always chalked them up to sinus problems. I have a cabinet full of collectible neti pots and various bags of salt. Seriously. It wasn’t until a couple of years ago, that a woman I worked with suggested that I might be having migraines instead. The symptoms of bad sinuses and migraines are very similar. My doctor got me a prescription for migraines and it turns out, that was the ticket. No one should have to suffer unnecessarily. Thanks for understanding. See you tomorrow.

Fur- riday

Image result for funny friday quotes

Hello readers and friends!! Hello Friday is right!! New readers, Fridays are fun here at Adulting – Second Half. We call them “Favorite Things Friday”. I keep things on the light and bright and I typically list around three things, ideas, websites, songs, etc. that I recommend highly. I also highly encourage you to give us some of your favorites in the Comments section. Please also see previous Friday listings for more favorites to make your Friday even more fabulous than it already is . . . . here we go:

Farmhouse Culture Ginger Beet Gut Shots – Let me preface this by saying, I hate beets. I don’t like the taste of this concoction at all. My husband and I drink this in one full swoop, from shot glasses every morning and I pinch my nose. (this is the only kind of shot that we can still handle at our ages) However, the key word here is “gut”. This liquid really, really does help with digestion and making your stomach feel good. I like me a happy tummy! My husband first discovered this at Costco. I have since bought it at Earth Fare. It’s not cheap, but a little goes a long way. So, these gut shots have now been added to our daily regiment of the other 6,592 supplements we take on a daily basis. (recently my husband asked into the air, “I wonder which of all of this stuff actually works?”)

RecoverT Wrap Bracelets – I found these bracelets at a local art fair and I love them, and I’ve given them away and I always find a reason to buy more of them. Wrap bracelets are something that I wear almost on a daily basis and these are particularly neat. Most of them have charms that have uplifting words, prayers, scripture or symbols on them. The braided cords are made out of colorful recycled t-shirts, so the bracelets are pliable and easy to wrap around your wrist as many times as you need to do it. The best part about the bracelets is that they are created by women in recovery. The shop is found on Etsy and this is their motto: We are “Recycling T-shirts and Recovering Lives”. 

Erno Laszlo White Marble Dual Phase Vitamin C Peel – Okay, this stuff is pretty pricey. However, a little bit goes a long way and the difference in your skin, especially right after you use it, is truly remarkable. I’m forever wanting the skin that I see on people which looks like it was just taken out of the package and put on their faces, that very morning. You know what I mean – “the shiny, happy people look.” I don’t mean shiny like sweaty, I mean shiny, like brand-spanking-new and sparkly. This at-home product really helps to take your skin in that direction and it does not burn or sting.

A week ago, when my eldest son came home for his brother’s graduation, our Labrador retriever, Ralphie, discovered our eldest son, early in the morning, still asleep in his bed. (my son had gotten in really late the night before and Ralphie was already asleep in his crate at that time) I’ve never seen Ralphie more joyously happy than in the moment that he discovered that our son had come home. His tail was wagging so hard that it was swinging his hips, back and forth, like a pendulum. He kept jumping up and down in mid-air. He licked my son’s face like it was the last T-bone steak on Earth. Ralphie kept looking back at me, like he was saying, “Mom, do you see who it is?!?! He’s back!! He’s back!! Can you believe it?!?” Ralphie got three toys in his mouth at once and offered them up to my son, like they were gold, frankincense and myrrh. Ralphie perfectly portrayed everything that I was feeling in my heart. I say this story to remind myself to live and love with reckless abandon. Have a Ralphie kind of Friday, friends! Heck, have a Ralphie kind of a weekend, if you dare!! See you tomorrow.

Look Out Below

So a couple of days ago, I walked out to our driveway and I started panicking. It appeared that our driveway had been covered with white paint splotches all over it. We have just had a bunch of painting and renovations done here, at the house, and I figured, “Great, the kids or the painters or someone else dragged a garbage bag out to the street that had paint in it, and it got all over our driveway! Just great.”

I immediately started looking for paint thinner until it dawned on me that the massive splotches were actually not paint at all, but a present left from one of the pterodactyl-sized birds we have living around us, here in tropical Florida. So you would think, that this dawning moment, would have prompted me to get the garden hose out, but instead I got out my phone and looked to see how soon we could be expecting a torrential downpour. (no time soon, unfortunately)

The upside here is that when I started looking up funny memes about bird droppings, it turns out that in many cultures (and definitely Turkish cultures), having a bird poop on you or your belongings, is actually considered a mark of very good luck. Some websites even suggested that I stop whatever I was doing (looking at your website, duh) and run right out and buy a lottery ticket. I didn’t yet, but I will . . . .

Moral of the story: There IS an upside to everything.

Healthy Pause

I am in a phew, exhale, big sigh, totally deflate like a balloon, and rest like a puddle on the ground, mindset today. So many “biggies” that we had been anticipating: our eldest son’s big move to a new state, the completion of our renovations, our youngest son’s high school graduation and the celebrations that followed, the safe extraction of his monster-sized wisdom teeth, etc. etc. are mainly finished and completed quite satisfactorily. It’s like my extra-big, neon signed and shined, mambo to-do list has been checked off and completed. Phew. Sigh. Deflate. Rest. . . . . and reflect. It all went well. It’s all over. I am going to rest a little bit before starting a new big load list. Big load lists always happen, especially in big load families. I try my best to stay in the present moment when I am in the midst of the planning, experiencing and executing the big load lists, but there is always that little part of me that repeats, “This will feel so good when it’s over. I can’t wait until the end of all of this.” I know that we are not supposed to anticipate the future. I know that we are not supposed to wish our lives away, but sometimes I just can’t help myself. And guess what? It does feel good to be at a completion point, right now. It does feel good to press “Pause” before loading up the play list and hitting “Play” again. I’m not ready to press “Stop” any time soon and I honestly wouldn’t want to hit “Reverse”, as good as a lot of my life has been, but healthy pauses, well, healthy pauses feel really good sometimes. Phew. Sigh. Deflate. Rest. Reflect.

“Sometimes you need to press pause to let everything sink in.” – Sebastian Vettel

“He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed.” – Albert Einstein

The Way of Life

My youngest son gets his wisdom teeth removed today. Like many of these types of coming-of-age milestones, we have already been through this, with his two older brothers. We have a good idea of what to expect. My youngest son is 6’2″ and he works out – all of the time. He’s already high on the pre-surgery drugs. He is a dizzy boy. This is going to be a long day for him . . . . and for me. We’ll both be gorging on Talenti.

I’m longing to get back to normal. Of course, with summer here, the reset button has been pushed. We will be figuring out our new summer normal. We have to let ourselves get into the groove of new summer jobs, summer volunteering, my daughter’s summer tennis training, etc. I’m longing for “normal”, yet I’m not even sure what this normal is going to look like yet. This is the way of motherhood. I wonder if we moms would be totally lost and confused if the only schedule we ever had to think about was our own?

This is a really rambling, random post. Please forgive me, readers. Clearly, the summer reset hasn’t occurred yet. I’m still “all over the map” in my thoughts, in my schedule, in my emotions and in my biological clock rhythms. This is the way of motherhood, too. Or maybe, this is just the way of life . . . .

“Spring passes and one remembers one’s innocence
Summer passes and one remembers one’s exuberance
Autumn passes and one remembers one’s reverence
Winter passes and one remembers one’s perseverance.”
–   Yoko Ono, Season of Glass

Pitcher is Full

Image result for there is a difference between giving up and knowing when you have had enough

Last night, I was reminded of the above wisdom, as I was sitting at one of our city’s iconic restaurants, staring at my unbelievably delicious chocolate peanut butter torte, around midnight last night. We were at the restaurant celebrating my son’s high school graduation. I had already eaten a third of my scrumptious dessert, plus a bite of everyone else’s choices. We were in a separate dessert room. Seriously. Before the dessert room experience, we all had enjoyed a heavy, gluttonous three-course meal. This particular restaurant is known for its throwback nature. It glamorizes the times of pre-gluten, pre-dairy, pre-cardiac health concerns. My All-American sticktoitiveness was telling me to finish what I had started. Finish the damn dessert. But wait, isn’t that what doggy bags are for? Wouldn’t a bite of the torte in the morning be a wonderful reminder of the previous night, a night filled with laughter, nostalgia and decadence? (The bite that I just had a minute ago was delectable!)

It’s okay to know when you have had enough of anything. It’s okay to know when your “pitcher is full, filled to the brim.” We all have different sized pitchers. Saturation points happen. It’s not giving up. It’s knowing that you have had enough and honoring yourself enough, to just stop with the madness – even if the madness is in the form of a fabulously, unbelievably delicious dessert.