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Unplug Friday

“Good morning. Tonight kicks off the Global Day of Unplugging, an annual event that encourages people to put down their screens and take part in real-life gatherings or a “meaningful conversation.”Yeah…here’s how that might go:
Hours 1–3: Chill
4–7: Getting shaky
8–12: Asking strangers for updates on Kate Middleton
13–15: Talking to yourself in a mirror and pretending it’s a Zoom meeting
16–19: Shouting tweets from your fire escape
20–22: Pressing buttons on your microwave to fill the silence
23: Acceptance
Good luck!”—Matty Merritt, Molly Liebergall, Cassandra Cassidy, Adam Epstein, Neal Freyman

Happy Friday!! Happy Favorite Things Friday!! The above selection is from my favorite for today, the “Morning Brew.” My friend told me about it and “Morning Brew” has become my new favorite source to get my news, by a long shot. (I still like “1440” and “Daily Skimm”, as well, which I have mentioned in my Favorite Things Friday posts previously) Another favorite for political news is “Tangle” which goes out of its way to be unbiased. At the very least, “Tangle” gives both sides of the story, by offering up what liberal leaning sources are saying about a political happening and than also, what conservative leaning sources are saying about the same happening. I like a news source that respects my ability to think for myself, and to make up my own mind about the state of affairs in our country and around the world.

The Global Day of Unplugging is probably a worthy challenge, right? It is scary how dependent we have become on our phones and our other technology. The other day, I was just driving over to my local Walgreens, which is about five minutes away from my home, to pick up a prescription. I realized that I had forgotten to bring my iPhone and I almost had a panic attack. (and I wish that this were an exaggeration) Then, I had to sit in a line at the drive-through, and I got so incredibly antsy because I had no form of entertainment. It was one of those nasty self-realization moments that I might be teetering a little bit, on phone addiction.

Even if you keep your phone in hand, this weekend, find a way to unplug. I’ve been noticing that in my own life lately, I go from feast to famine, and then back to feast, when it comes to the “busy-ness” in my life. I “go-go-go”, get exhausted and finally crash, and then I head right back into a “go-go-go” period. This is not what I had envisioned for my empty nest. I have to find a way to stay more “even keel”. I have to be more planful and practical. Unplug time should not be only for when you are so tired, that you just want to crash. Unplug time should be about keeping the balance, versus “the yo-yo of go-go.”

Have a great weekend! Stay in the center of the see-saw! See you tomorrow.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

2228. How do you like your eggs?

Bonus Day

Hi. Happy last day of February! Even with the special bonus day, February seemed to cruise along a lot faster than January did, right?? We are one sixth of the way through 2024. How is it going for you?

I’m exhausted, and yet exhilarated and rejuvenated, all at the same time. That’s typically my experience with travel. There are very few experiences that deplete you and energize you, all at the same time. Giving birth and perhaps running a marathon (although I wouldn’t know anything about long distance running. I won’t run to my mailbox) are the only other experiences that I can think of, off the top of my head, that could fall into this same category. I suppose winning an Olympic medal would be the extreme example of instantaneous exhilaration and exhaustion, but again, that is way out of my level of expertise.

When you add new experiences to your life, you add new layers to yourself. And some of your other layers get sort of reorganized with perspective changes, as new information gets assimilated into your being. Travel changes you. Travel expands you. I rode in a helicopter for the first time in my life this past week. My late uncle and my sister-in-law were military helicopter pilots and they always spoke so fondly of the specialness of flying in helicopters. I totally get it now. It was incredibly thrilling. It was an experience that I won’t soon forget.

Give yourself new experiences every day. You don’t have to travel far to try a new coffee flavor, drive a new way to work or to school, talk to someone whom you have never met, read a book that isn’t your usual genre choice . . . . The expansion of yourself from your experiences is really the point of “it all”, isn’t it? At the very least, expanding yourself is deliciously exhausting and invigorating, all at the same time.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1547. What gives you zest for life?

Within

I’m sitting here in a hotel room, in a hotel that was born in the same year as my eldest son. So this is a 28-year-old hotel room. Its current “look” seems to be a whimsical, boutique-y look, with prominent colors and unusual off-centered placements of mismatching artwork. I’m sure that this square room has had many variations over the years. The rule of thumb is that the average hotel changes and updates its decorations about every seven years. So this hotel is probably on the end of its fourth cycle of “changing it up”. I wonder if people are generally on the same 7- year cycle of updating our appearance, our homesites, our mindsets? Some hotels appear like they have never had a change-up. Some people are the same. When I was a college textbook sales representative back in the early 1990s, my main point of contact were the departments’ administrative assistants. There was one administrative assistant whose office remained stubbornly and firmly in the 1960s. She had a beehive hairdo, wore brightly colored cats-eye glasses, she smoked in her office (even though you weren’t supposed to), and all of the furnishings in the office were mid-century (before mid-century became cool again). It was like entering into a time warp. I found her office oddly fascinating and sometimes even reassuring. That woman was not about to let trends, nor time, take her away from surroundings that made her feel the most at home.

My husband read a story recently about one of our country’s earliest magnates. In an enormous romantic gesture, he traded their New York City home for a pearl necklace that his wife desperately wanted. (At the time, pearls were exceedingly rare because no one had yet figured out how to harvest pearls in an industrial sense.) Ironically, the necklace recently sold in auction for $165,000 and the New York City home that he traded it for is worth almost $300 million dollars.

Everything changes. What is valuable to you, or to anyone else, changes. What looks good to you at one time often loses its appeal overtime (to the point of laughing hysterically at you and your friends’ 1980’s glue-sprayed big bangs). Noticing what changes, makes it easier to pivot to thinking about what is endlessly timeless. Feelings are timeless. We all experience the different variations of feelings and sensations that our ancestors have felt for thousands of years. And the many generations ahead of us, no matter what their surroundings look like, will experience the same myriad of feelings and sensations that we do. The timeless stuff is all inside of us. Timelessness lies within.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1506. Do you think you could beat a lie detector test? (Me – no way, no how. I’m a terrible liar.)

Monday – Funday

If you want to make people exceedingly intrigued by you, and perhaps even envious of you (although this is not advised – when people are at their most envious, they are often at their worst) you don’t need millions of dollars, a perfect body, a beautiful face, a loving relationship, amazing kids, and a fancy car. You just need to be “happy.” Choose to be happy every single day. You will absolutely glow. Unfortunately, happiness is something that is available to all of us, but we make it so hard. There are people I have known who had all of the things listed above, and they were some of the most miserable people I have ever known. Happiness truly is an inside job. A happy optimist isn’t in denial. The happy optimists recognize that there is a lot that needs to be different in the world. So they choose to work at changing these things, or they choose to accept these things. And then the happy, optimist goes on to savor the myriad of things that are completely wonderful in this world. Don’t make happiness elusive. Don’t make happiness contingent on what you have or what you don’t have. Don’t compare others’ happiness to your own. Like love, happiness just is . . . . And happiness really is available to all of us. Happiness is a peaceful contentedness that is still there in the background, when sad feelings arise. It is the peaceful contentedness that is still there, even when fear is at its height. Happiness is living life in gratitude and appreciating the stories about the experiences of the moments. Why have we chosen to make happiness such a rarity? Is it smarter to sound sad, angry and bitter? Does it really matter how “smart” anyone is? Be happy. Today, choose happy at all costs. You’ll be amazed that you had the power to be happy within you, all along. And you’ll also be amazed at how magnetizing a power that true happiness can be.

“Whoever is happy, will make others happy.” – Anne Frank

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1629. How are you still similar to your younger self?

Soul Sunday

Hi friends. I’m leaving on another little adventure. I may write every day, or I may not. (I’ll keep you posted. 😉 ) At the very least, I’ll be back in full form by the end of the week. Sundays are devoted to poetry. Today, I felt a little “rhyme-y”. Write a poem today, just because you can . . . . Here is my poem for the day:

There is nothing that will make you feel more like a child,

Bringing you back to your natural whimsy and wild,

Than planning a trip, an adventure, an impromptu lark,

And feeling the giddy frenzy right before you embark.

Perhaps the most exciting trip anyone of us has every planned,

Was the one that we have right here, in this place, in our hand.

Life is a journey that sometimes feels long and banal,

But if we look at it closely, its length is quite small.

So open each day with the thrill of the new,

Unpack all of your baggage, and enjoy and pursue.

Make the most of your days, as if they were your vacation.

Before you know it, your adventure will reach its culmination.

Every exciting experience always ends, this we know,

So, in the meantime, make it amazing, every inch that you go.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

624. What word or phrase do you use too much?

That’s Why

I have writer’s block.

I’m tired.

I let a lot of last minute chores go to the last minute and now I’m scrambling.

All of the sudden, I’m not so tired, but I’m full of nervous energy. (has nothing to do with the pot of coffee I drank this morning)

My electronics are acting wonky.

(Isn’t it wonderful that we have a full moon every month to blame everything on?)

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

804. What is your weirdest trait? (I blame the full moon for my “weirdness.”)

Wellness Friday

credit: @BethFratesMD

Happy Friday!! Happy Favorite Things Friday!!! On Fridays, I discuss the stuff of life that makes it fun to live. Today’s favorite is for those of you out there, who sadly, like my husband, are down with a nasty cold. Did you know that Starbucks makes a “Medicine Ball” drink, sometimes shown on the menu as “Honey Citrus Mint Tea”? However, if you order a “medicine ball” the baristas will know what you are talking about. It’s a popular drink at Starbucks, particularly in the winter months. If you prefer not to get spendy on trendy drinks, you can make this delicious, soothing, comforting drink at home using these ingredients:

  • Jade Citrus Mint Tea
  • Peach Tranquility Tea
  • Steamed Lemonade
  • Hot Water
  • Honey

I’ve made a couple of variations at home myself, using creative substitutions of kombucha, real lemon and different flavors of tea. Stirred with love and care, you and your loved ones will be on your way to feeling better in no time!

Get well! Stay well! Be well! See you tomorrow!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1775. Who do you feel is your kindred spirit?

I’m Lighthearted Today

Credit: @woofknight, X

I’m sorry. I know this one is a little profane, but I just can’t stop giggling about it. Plus “b*tchbag” is a new one for me. And it just cracks me up. I think it’s a keeper (at least in my mind.)

Last night we had a family Facetime, and my daughter was chastising her three brothers for not being more active on their sibling text chat which she had recently created. I jumped in with heaps of guilt, which is what I think that my daughter was going for . . . . (We moms are good at that). I threw in the old “it’s not just women who are responsible for the tending to relationships.” I probably said that statement about three times in different pointed terms, watching my daughter nod, smugly. The boys first tried making jokes, then excuses, but soon all three of them just looked at me and my daughter with goofy grins.

This morning our family text chat was eerily quiet, despite me trying to get the flow going. I finally used a line from last night’s guilt pile: “It only takes two seconds to respond. . . . just saying” My daughter finally responded with “The sibling chat has been popping off this morning, no hate” So, mission accomplished. I guess. I might be joining the “sibling chat” soon.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1839. Does your family have a secret recipe and, if so, what is it for?

Seeds and Shoes

 “All is temporary. Any effort to acquire or cling to things will be tempered by this wisdom. Accept the fleeting nature of ownership and make room for happiness with the things, people and time you have.” – Holiday Mathis

“I know when I buy something, fashion needs to speak to me emotionally. I look for a shoe that represents my individuality and personal style.” – Libby, from Sam & Libby shoe company

This past weekend I found out that one of my favorite “little town” stores was going out of business. I felt a little gut-punched and soul-crushed to be honest. I think that my husband, who was with me as we happened upon their unexpected going-out-of-business sale, was concerned that I might burst out in tears, in front of the other shoppers, digging through the final, few 75% off cast-offs from the store. I didn’t wail, but I was definitely crying on the inside. This store was a plant store with a unique urban edge to it. I can look around my house and see several pots, plants and accoutrements that I had purchased there, usually on date nights, because the town that the store sits in, has wonderful, low-key restaurants right by the water. This store contained things you just didn’t find anywhere else. I never left there without purchasing something which made my heart sing a little, and as a magic bonus, the item was usually tied to a little romantic memory with my husband.

I’m with Libby. I buy my fashion pieces, my jewelry, things for my home, my cars, souvenirs from my trips, definitely my shoes, because they speak to me emotionally. I delight in individuality in myself, and in others. I adore getting a glimpse of someone’s soul and overall being by the way that they dress themselves, hold themselves, comfort themselves in their homes, adorn themselves . . . . I “worship” at the places and at the feet of people that aren’t afraid to put it all out there, and who fully own who they are, and who proudly show it, for the whole world to see. And this looks different on everyone. And yet it is all so incredibly beautiful.

We all know that the only constant is change. So savor everything. Take nothing for granted. Buy the damn shoes. Wear them proudly. Wear your emotions on your sleeves. Say thank you to everything and everyone who has made your life the unique and wonderful experience that it is. Thank you, sweet little plant store and the persons who created you. You changed lives by being fully you, and your sui generis spirit lives on in a lot of homes, and gardens all over. Your emotions have been spoken and they are lovely.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1131. Are you a positive person?

Tuesday’s Tidbits

+ From the stats, I see that yesterday’s blog post hit a nerve. It’s understandable. Relationships are often the hardest things for us to navigate in this world, including the relationship that we have with ourselves. I’ve often thought that it is best to simplify relationships, and whittle them down to just the relationship that you have between yourself and one other, versus in relation to a whole related group. In other words, even if you have eight brothers and sisters, consider yourself to be an only child. What would your relationship look like/what expectations would you put on yourself, with your parents, if you were an only child, with no relation or expectations as to what their relationships look like with your siblings? This is the same if you have multiple children, multiple friends who are part of a bigger friend group, relationships at work, etc. As we all have figured out by now, in this middle stage of our lives, we cannot control other people. But we can decide what we are willing to do, and how we are willing to be, in any given relationship that we are a part of, and we want to nurture. I’ve found that when I do this simplification and focus on myself and just one other, my relationships seem to flow better, and I am often pleasantly surprised by the ease. (I suppose accepting my lack of control of others, stepping up for my own needs, and letting go of my expectations, is what is the magic elixir of this equation, when I remember to use it.)

+ When deciding what to write about on any given day, I often refer to quotes and thoughts that resonated with me. I either jot them quickly on my calendar or I take pictures of them. Here are a few that “struck a nerve” with me lately:

“Something that we don’t talk nearly enough about is how we often feel worse while we’re healing because we were forced to feel nothing while we were enduring something traumatic.” – The Empowered Therapist

This is so true, isn’t it? This applies to all healing – physical, mental, spiritual, which sometimes happens all at once. When we are going through a trauma, we often get robotic and numb. Our feelings shut down, as we go through the motions of getting through the nightmare situation. It’s often shocking and annoying how terrible we feel after something traumatic happens, but processing everything is necessary. It is often more painful and traumatic to keep trying to tamp the experiences down. We must heal ourselves by feeling the feelings, both physical and emotional. The only way to heal and cleanse pain, is to process through it. Here’s another one that resonated with me:

“I swear the universe can be divided into two kinds of people:

  1. I had to go through it, so you should too.
  2. I had to go through it, so I’ll work to make sure you don’t.” @MonicaHesse

This is what I mean by my daily tagline. There is great satisfaction in being a number 2 kind of person. Watching people experiencing the same kind of pain that you’ve gone through does nothing but add more pain into this world. How many recovered addicts have helped themselves to continue to stay sober, by helping other addicts? How many people have done the hard work to get educated and stay motivated to stop generations of poverty in their family line? How many people have turned a horrible tragedy, such as losing a loved one to gun violence or to cancer, into their life mission to change things, so that others will not feel their same pain? If we all made it our goal to be Number 2s, just imagine how beautiful this world would be.

Along these lines here is another quote from a picture I took:

“u r so considerate”

thanks i was raised in constant fear of upsetting people -@jayhs1k

Remember, some of the nicest people whom you’ll ever meet in life, have a “fawn response” from trauma they have experienced. Do not take advantage of this fact. Be kind.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

788. How do you feel about redheads? (I adore them! My two eldest sons are “gingers.”)