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Favorite Color Friday

Credit: EmilyMichaelDesigns, Etsy

Happy Friday!! Happy Favorite Things Friday!! Happy “Chasing the Sunshine Springtime!!” On Fridays, I don’t discuss anything particularly insightful. On Fridays, I look to the material things which makes life interesting and delightful. On Fridays, I give myself a break from Myself. (does that even make sense?)

The best compliment that I can give to my three sons is that they make me wish that I had a brother, in a big way. Our three sons are really good brothers to our only daughter and I appreciate this so much. Her brothers and her father, have made my daughter love and respect men, and yet also expect a lot from the men in her life. (Thank you, guys. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.) I bring this up today, on Favorite Things Friday because today’s favorite comes from a birthday present that one of my sons got for his sister for her upcoming birthday. Apparently this stuff is all of the rage, mostly because it smells so good! (and I love me a good scent for sure! The sense of smell might be my favorite of all of our senses.) Sol de Janeiro products supposedly smell like heaven. I, of course, decided that I needed to order some fragrance mists for myself from this line, to match the birthday girl. My daughter recommended number 62 and number 68 for starters. There is nothing like a smell that reminds you of your favorite beach vacation.

Have a wonderful weekend, friends!!

“Smell is a potent wizard that transports you across thousands of miles and all the years you have lived.” – Helen Keller.

“Perfume is a story in odor, sometimes poetry in memory.” – Jean-Claude Ellena

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1150. How can you live with more intention?

Thursday’s Thoughts

+ The world’s annual happiness reports came out recently and for the first time the United States did not make the top 20. The nordic countries always seem to be at the top of the list. I’ve only been to one nordic country, and it was Iceland. Iceland is easily the most peaceful place that I have ever been in my lifetime. I kept commenting on it, during our time there. It was so quiet, serene, and beautiful. I felt so safe and at ease while I was there. Maybe our country is too addicted to drama. I don’t know. I just hope, as a whole, we can start clearing the path to the things which really universally matter to the majority of all beings.

+ I spent some time this morning looking at what Elon Musk’s Neuralink was able to do for a quadriplegic man in just its preliminary stages. And I just saw a headline about a pig kidney transplant being successful in a patient for the first time. I really do believe that we are on the cusp of a whole new world, in so many ways. I have that feeling in my stomach that you get before a big move or a big trip or a big life change. It’s a mix of nervous energy, excitement, fear, wonder, hope and anxiety all swirling together. I don’t like to hold this feeling for long periods of time. It’s not sustainable. So then that’s when the sweet remedy of curiosity and surrender turns out to be the best balm to soothe any overstimulation and worry.

+ I read an article that spoke of one of the major factors to Taylor Swift’s success is the fact that she always over-delivers. She doesn’t sit on her laurels. Her fans always believe that they get their money’s worth from her and she has shown them that they are absolutely worth her highest effort in everything that she does. There is no better feeling than being happily surprised with an item purchased, an enthralling experience that beats your expectations, and/or feeling completely valued and appreciated for your time, attention and money. It all comes down to trying never to take anything or anybody for granted.

+ Yesterday, I was doing one of my least favorite jobs, cleaning up dog do. I was lost in thought, going through the motions (while holding my breath), when something inside of me said, “Hey, stop, sit awhile and just be.” And so I sat by the small lake in our backyard for about five or ten minutes, and in that little amount of time, I got the realization of just how much life buzzes, in one small moment, in one small place, at any one time. In that moment, with my bare feet in the soft, luxurious grass, I witnessed all sizes of fishes swimming near the shore, two hawks doing some kind of aerial show in the air, a turtle blowing bubbles in the water, new spring blooms on my irises, the sound of an owl hooting in the woods, and an anole thrusting out his bright red bulbous throat as dragonflies whizzed by. And all of this happened as the warm sun tickled all of us, and a light breeze sustained us and lifted the mood. Life teems. Life is incredible.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

848. Do you have an expansive vocabulary?

Feathering the Nest

Friends, this time of year always gets a little bit difficult for me. On the late evening of Easter in 2016, I made one of the most difficult decisions that I have ever made in my entire lifetime. I don’t have regrets about the decision. It was the right decision to make, but even good decisions can be really, really hard, especially if they are related to choosing between the lesser of two unpleasant choices. I’ve grown a lot since then. I’ve healed a lot since then. But really painful choices and happenings, tend to remain delicate under softer, thinner-skinned spots, covering the more fragile and vulnerable parts of our entire beings.

I’m not prepared to write publicly about this decision that I made. I’m not sure if I ever will be able to share it, other than with my closest confidantes. I’m a relatively private person and I am also concerned with other people’s feelings and privacy. That being said, I’ve decided to be “real” with myself during this Easter season. I’ve decided to be protective of myself this season. I’ve decided to focus on self-care and to make it my number one priority for the next few weeks, particularly.

If you would like to join me, in giving yourself your own comfortable, nestling, sheltered Easter basket of peace, I am sending you lots of joy and love and inspiration to do it. Give yourself a safe space to “feel the feels.” You don’t need to create a story about the feels. Just know that feelings are normal and that they always pass. I am one who tries to distract myself with rabbit holes and obsessive thinking/focusing when buried feelings come to the surface, so this season I am trying to just notice this habit in myself, and to be gentle and forgiving with myself, but also to nudge myself back to allowing the feelings to flow, without my righteous narrative, without my control issues, without dissociating, without distracting myself . . . . Yes, easier said than done, but this Easter season I am earnestly trying to be more present with it all.

So with that being said, I may write a post every day. I may not. As always, I am so grateful for you, and for your presence and your understanding. I wish for peace for us all. Sending you much love.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

2119. Whom do you feel you have the strongest unspoken bond with?

Values

The last three weeks or so, I have been completely off of my normal, regular routine schedule. I’ve had a marvelous, fun and productive time, but I’m feeling pretty fried. I overheard someone say, “I need to catch up with myself.” That words it perfectly. I need to slow down and catch up with myself. If you don’t give yourself these slower, regular scheduled times to assimilate everything that you’ve experienced, you start just going through the motions, and you start behaving like a zombie. At least, this is my experience. I am someone who craves a fair amount of solitude and I’ve been starved of solitude for a while now. This morning I am being nourished by solitude and I feel myself “catching up with myself”. As an extroverted introvert, solitude is what plugs me into my replenishing energy source. I feel myself getting charged back up.

I listened to a podcast the other day, and one of the participants, Jessica Lanyandoo said this: “Happiness comes as a direct result of living in accord with our values. When you are living in a self-appropriate way, you’re happy. I mean, I’m not saying you’re giddy. But (living in accord with our values) is what leads to authentic happiness, inner peace (and) inner balance.”

It’s so true, isn’t it? Often what we say what we value, is not what we are showing the world what we are valuing. We can say that we value family time, but in reality, we are spending most of our time trying to climb the corporate ladder. We can say that we value health, but we get take-out for dinner every night. We can say that we value peace, but we allow ourselves to get caught-up in online drama and arguments. We can say that we value financial security, but we get ourselves into debt in order to “keep up with the Joneses.” A good exercise to get back into alignment with your own values is to quickly, and off-the-cuff, without thinking too much, list 5-10 core values that you deem the most important for yourself, in your own life. (and do this activity privately. Be honest. List your own true values. Do not list what you think that you should value, based on the judgments of others. No one will see this list.) Then, rank these values in order of importance to you. Finally, look at this list of what you believe are the most important elements in your life, and get brutally honest with yourself if you are truly living in accordance to your own values. Is where you spend the majority of your time, energy, attention, and money, truly in line with what you deeply value? If you are not experiencing mostly happiness, inner peace and inner balance, why is this? When you look at where you are spending the preponderance of your time and energy and mindspace, is this in true alignment with your core values? What’s pinging you to change? What area or areas in your own life, are asking you to steer the ship in a different direction, in order to get us back to your own true north?

Our values are what define us. Our values are what give us purpose in living our lives. Our values speak to what we think is most worthy in our life experience. If we are not living up to our own values, we know. We feel the negative emotions that are trying to get us back on track to our core truths. If we live in alignment with our deepest values, we generally feel peace. “Happiness comes as a direct result of living in accord with our values.”

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1604. What do you think is the most dangerous profession in the whole world?

Monday – Funday

(I’ve never been a big fan of squirrels.) I’ve taken an informal survey of friends and family and we all agree that this last Daylight Savings change has been a bigger doozy than usual. I still don’t think that I have fully adjusted to it. Have you?

I just glanced at a good article by Chani Nicholas that contained these questions to utilize when you find yourself triggered by something:

What am I feeling and why? What was the incident that got me here? Is my feeling a proportionate response to this event? And if not, what is the situation reminding me of?

By bringing ourselves out of the emotional aspect of happenings, and by looking at the situation under an analytical lens, we can do less reacting and thus more healthy responding. We can also learn more about ourselves in the process and about what areas in our lives could use some healing. The next time that you feel a strong negative emotion about a happening, use the questions above to journal about the situation. The insight that you glean by doing this, could be priceless, and it can lead you to some area in your life that you can change, or at least help you to change the way you are thinking about it.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1087. Who would call you their biggest cheerleader?

 

Soul Sunday

Good morning. Happy St. Patrick’s Day! (I apologize for not publishing a post yesterday. Distractions abounded!) Sundays are devoted to poetry on the blog. In honor of St. Patrick’s Day, I am going to feature some poems by Irish writers. The Irish have a way with melancholic writing like no others . . . .

“The Last Rose of Summer”

’Tis the last rose of summer
Left blooming alone;
All her lovely companions
Are faded and gone;
No flower of her kindred,
No rosebud is nigh,
To reflect back her blushes,
To give sigh for sigh …

-Thomas Moore

“The Lost Land: Poems”

This is what language is:
a habitual grief. A turn of speech
for the everyday and ordinary abrasion
of losses such as this:
which hurts
just enough to be a scar
And heals just enough to be a nation.

-Eavan Boland

“The Lake Isle of Innisfree”

I will arise and go now, for always night and day
I hear lake water lapping with low sounds by the shore;
While I stand on the roadway, or on the pavements grey,
I hear it in the deep heart’s core.

-W.B. Yeats

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

2552. What’s your favorite cereal? (Especially in honor of today, I am going to say, “Lucky Charms.”)

Sorbet Friday

Happy Friday!!! On the blog on Fridays, I get out of my overthinking mind and I discuss the tactile stuff in life which makes it more fun to be alive. Today’s favorite is for you, if you are feeling girly and summery and splurgy. The website is actually based in Greece. The items are fun and not incredibly expensive, although the shipping can be. Even if you just want to browse to feel the excitement of summer being right around the corner, check out Sorbet Island. The items are girly, summery and have a “bring a smile to your face” kind of a feel. Here is their website:

https://www.sorbetisland.com/

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

2240. Are you scared of the dark?

Absolute Truth & The Four Hour Rule

 “All things in this world, including ourselves, are aggregate sums of atoms, which are made up of rotating electrons. The ultimate history of mankind is moving toward a happy ending for people of all races. The Earth, the galaxy, and the universe all rotate. In other words, I think rotation is the absolute truth. So as long as I’m thinking about pi, I think I can live a life according to truth.” – From the Morning Brew quoting Akira Haraguchi who is the first person to recite 100,000 digits of Pi

Happy Pi Day!! I believe in the truth. I believe that we are headed towards the happy ending for all people. Let’s all just make sure that we are rotating in the right direction.

Yesterday was our annual termite inspection day. Recently we figured out that we have lived in our current home for ten years which is longer than we have lived in any home in the entirety of our married life (and is also why I should be currently cleaning the damn clutter out instead of writing my blog). Anyway, our termite inspection guy is a nice, older chatty guy who, since around 2019, has told us his fondest good-byes, mentioning that he won’t see us next year because he plans to retire. But of course, this same guy showed up at my door yesterday to inspect our house for termites (none, thank goodness) and of course, I teased him. And as usual, as I followed him around the house, as he put a flashlight on to every nook and cranny (and I cringed, embarrassed by the dust), we chatted. Our chat was mostly about “the what nexts” of retirement. I’ll call our inspection guy “M” from here on out. M told me that he really does want to retire, so he has made some, what he considers to be, outlandish demands on his company, like no more Saturday jobs, and that he has to be done inspecting by 2:30. The company keeps happily meeting his demands.

“M, this means that they really love and respect you! They appreciate you. They don’t want you to leave,” is what I said.

And he nodded, looking both proud and sheepish at the same time. “It’s hard for me, ya know,” he said. “There is still that young competitive guy inside of me who wants to be the best in the office, at every facet of the game.”

“M, maybe you just need to change your mindset a little bit,” I said gently. “Maybe there comes a time when we stop the climb, climb, climb, and we turn around, and we become the elders who reach back our hands to help show the youngers the way. Maybe it becomes our job to make the climb a little bit easier for those who are coming up behind us, and pushing them along to surpass what we were able to do. And just maybe, by doing this act of passing on the wisdom, knowledge, and confidence to our younger successors, this is really the true pinnacle of our careers, and of all of the success that we have had in our careers. And maybe we also have to show them that it is possible to leave the game, and to go on to do other things.”

M looked at me thoughtfully, like he wanted to agree, but he is clearly still in a state of flux, thinking everything out before he makes his true retirement move. He did tell me that he is clearly thinking out how he would spend his time if he retires, by checking out local gyms, buying an electric bike, and turning his garage into a mancave. M told me that he didn’t want to ruin his successful, many decades long marriage, in his golden retirement years. M said that the reason why his marriage is so successful is because they took advice that he got from his cousin many years ago. She called it “the four hour rule.” She told M to never spend more than four hours at a time with each other, without taking a break, (sleeping is not included) throughout their marriage, and they will live happily ever after. His cousin reminded him that most major arguments in marriages happen on the weekends, or on vacations and holidays. Couples rarely argue during the week, when they spend just about four hours together in the evening, eating dinner together, talking about their days, and then perhaps watching a show before heading to bed.

Since 2019, when the inspections have been over, I have shook M’s hand and wished him well in his retirement, thanking him for his excellent service throughout the years. This time I didn’t do it. We both laughed when I told him that I’d probably see him again next year. But when I closed my door, I felt a little lump in my throat. This time did feel different. I’m pretty sure that it will be a different person doing the inspection next year. I felt a mix of resignation/excitement/planfulness in M’s demeanor this go around, that told me that M is now truly ready to take his next steps into a truly different stage of his life. And who’s to say what will be happening in my own life at this time next year? Will we still be at this house? Whatever does all happen, I do know is this: M, and me, and everyone else in this world, are ultimately all rotating towards the absolute truth . . . . . and this is all that really matters.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1762. What do you consider yourself an expert at?

Cocksure

A couple of weeks ago my husband and I took a ride in a helicopter, over a large mountain range. I had never taken a long ride in a helicopter, so I was admittedly a little bit apprehensive. We got to talking to the pilot before the ride, and I was instantly reassured. I felt very little fear from the beginning of the ride until the end, despite it being a big thrill. In turns out that our pilot had served in the marines, flew planes for firefighters in the west, and he had an entirely “cocksure” attitude. Typically, I don’t care for this kind of arrogant cadence in people, but there are certain professions where it is absolutely what you want to encounter, such as from your doctor/surgeon, your lawyer, your financial accountant, and absolutely any kind of driver or pilot who is in charge of getting you safely to and from your destination. And reflecting back, this pilot was extremely likable. He was definitely more confident than truly arrogant.

Confidence is not something that is easy to fake. And some people are so stupidly, unwarrantly confident/arrogant, and that attitude stands out like a sore thumb, and makes anyone around these people feel less confident in them than ever.

Arrogant people need to feel “better than”, in order to feel good about themselves. Other people are desperately needed for arrogant people to feel good about themselves, as either adoring audiences or as people to compare themselves to, whom they consider to be “lower standard” than themselves. The feeling of superiority is an aching need for arrogant people. Ironically, most arrogant people are extremely insecure. Confident people get all of their self-assurance from their own inner knowing, their faith in life and/or in their Higher Power, and in their own individual purposes and gifts. Other people really don’t figure into the equation of how confident people feel about themselves. Confident people assume that everyone has the ability to be confident in their own lives and in their own purposes and talents, and they wish the best for us all. Confident people feel assured that any of us have the ability to live life to the absolute fullest. And thus confident people inspire us, and they lead the way without even realizing that they are doing it.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

488. Fill in the blank: Working _______ hours a week is too much for me.

That’s What They Said

+ I’m not a huge fan of the royals and I try to keep my gossiping in check, but I find myself going down this “Kate Middleton rabbit hole”, like so many others. Where is she? What really happened? Are they headed towards divorce like Diana and Charles?

“The Kate Middleton Photo Scandal has now got me seriously questioning this.” – Cian McCarthy, X

“I’m not generally into conspiracy theories but this Kate Middleton photo has got me feeling like a flat earther” – Cara Lisette, X

“I consider myself a serious person, but I keep clicking on the trending Kate Middleton link. I cannot help myself.” – Joyce Alene, X

+ And some good quotes from the Oscars:

“I’d like to thank my terrible childhood and the Academy, in that order.” – Robert Downey, Jr.

Honestly, the best parts of our own selves often come out of us after our hardest, most taxing experiences. I love that Robert Downey, Jr. can find the blessings, sort them out, and then soar with the good stuff.

“I always wanted to be different, but now I realize that I just need to be myself. Thank you for seeing me.” – Da’Vine Joy Randolph (she won best supporting actress for The Holdovers, a must-see film. I’ve seen it twice, which is a rare experience for me.)

+ And from the fashion illustrator, Izak Zenou:

“Whimsical, elegant funny sexy, always glamorous and Certainly not pretentious. With a smile on your face, here you go for the big life!”

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

2047. What makes you feel unstoppable?