Sundays are devoted to poetry on the blog. Today’s poem is written by Nathaniel Bard:
Fields of white stones, each a silent tale,
Flags flutter softly in the mourning gale.
Honor their memory, sacrifices cast,
In quiet gratitude, forever vast.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:
2158. Do you think a person can always depend on the kindness of strangers?
I was reminded recently of an excellent, clarifying question to ask yourself about a situation that you feel muddled and conflicted about. It is a question that will help you to get really clear on your own deepest desires. This is not to say that this should be the only criteria when making major decisions, but it gives you a starting point as to pointing you to what you really want, and helps you to go from there. Here is the question:
“What would you do if it was only possible for you to take your own happiness into account?”
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:
1910. What is the most expensive thing you have ever lost?
Hi! Happy Friday!! Happy Best Day of the Week!! On Fridays on the blog, I discuss the stuff that makes my practical life more fun and magical. I call it “Favorite Things Friday”. Not too long ago, I recommended on the blog, a book written by one of Princess Margaret’s ladies-in-waiting, Anne Tennant. In the book, Anne mentions that she cleaned Princess Margaret’s vast shell collection with the princess, every single year. She said that they used Fairy Liquid to do this. Naturally, I was curious, so I looked up Fairy Liquid and it turns out that I could buy it on Amazon. I figured that if Fairy Liquid was good enough for a princess, it’s good enough for me. Fairy Liquid, appears to be ordinary green liquid soap, much like Palmolive, but it is honestly, much better. Fairy Liquid is highly concentrated and it cuts grease like no liquid soap that I have ever used before. There is no instant gratification like a really clean surface which just before the cleaning, had been a greasy mess. Buy yourself some magical, instant gratification in a bottle. You won’t regret it. (It really is about the everyday little things, friends. They all add up.)
Have a marvelous Memorial Day Weekend!!! The entrance to summer has arrived!
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:
1385. Describe your mood right now, using one word.
I just read an article about “emotional quitting.” This is usually the major predecessor to any kind of official quitting, whether it be a job, or a relationship, or a hobby, a project, a life direction, a religion, etc. “Emotional quitting” looks like just “going through the motions”, but not really investing any energy, or plans towards something going forward. Emotional quitting means you have lost interest and desire for something or for someone who used to excite you and used to help you to grow and blossom. Sometimes when you emotionally quit an experience, you just can’t find the fire to ignite your passion again, even if you are desperately trying to do so. You feel detached and indifferent.
Emotionally quitting is usually a long, slow process. It doesn’t happen overnight. It’s just little chips which are chiseled away without anything else put in place to replenish the energy stream towards it. Emotionally quitting something is rarely a rash, overnight, dramatic decision. It happens so slowly that we often don’t realize that we have been in the process of quitting, until we are already there. Most experiences that we “officially” quit have long, long been quit emotionally by us, before we have the courage to make it “official.” Emotional quitting is often a quiet process, versus a loud, dramatic bang.
Today’s world puts a big emphasis on the need to be conscious and self-aware, in order to stay mentally and emotionally healthy in a quickly-changing world. This is vitally important in a time where life is changing so rapidly with technology innovations, and a myriad of opportunities that our ancestors simply did not have, to contemplate and to experience. There has never been a more important time in history, to emphasize the need to take a pause, and to reflect on where we are going, and where we want to end up. So, in this light, take the time to contemplate any “emotional quitting” that is occuring in your own life. What has grown stale in your life? Which of these areas are worth revitalizing, and how would you take steps to do this? Has it come time to face that it might be time to “officially” quit something that you have emotionally abandoned a long time ago? What are your beliefs about “quitting” and are these beliefs helpful or hindering to you? What are your true values and priorities, and are you actually living them? What is holding you back? What are your fears and reservations? How long has your “emotional quitting” been happening? What is capturing your energy and vitality instead? Where are you feeling indifferent? If you feel listless and indifferent, all the way around, could this point to a physical/mental condition that should be addressed?
This is a tough read, I know. We don’t want to face change in our lives, even though we all know that “change is the only constant.” We often emotionally quit things to make it easier to finally cut the final tie, and “officially” quit. Our emotions are our built in navigation system. Strong emotions point us to what is important to us. The opposite of love is not hate. The opposite of love is “indifference.” Get real with yourself about which parts of your life you are emotionally withdrawing from, and decide what you want to do about it. You deserve an intentionally full and vital life.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:
1457. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
In my morning readings today, two ideas really stuck out for me. The first idea is about “embracing the contradictions.” It is quite possible to feel opposite feelings about the same experience, all at the same time. This is particularly true during the major transition times in our lives which mark endings and new beginnings, such as graduations, weddings, births, moving houses, divorces, funerals, retirements, etc. We often stamp, “This is how I’m supposed to feel,” onto certain situations and then we sometimes feel shame if we feel some “relief” when we think we should only be “sad”, or we feel shame if we feel “fear”, when we think we should be “happy.” Contradictory feelings are messy. They bring about things like “happy tears” or “pride and melancholy.” Contradictory feelings are hard to sort, because perhaps, they are not really supposed to be sorted and ordered. We have a lot of volume available in our emotional bodies. We can feel all sorts of feelings all at once, and in no particular order. When we accept the normalcy of messy, contradictory feelings, we can remain the calm center of the storm. And we can let our experiences wash over us in every color and sensation which they are supposed to happen to us. We can experience what happens in our lives both fully and open-heartedly, knowing that we will be better and more evolved for doing so.
Similar to this thought, I read about the difference between the emotion generated by delusions versus emotions created by true perceptions. How many times have you gotten yourself into a angsty tangle because you believed a story that you created in your head about a person, or a situation, or an experience, which you later found out to be untrue? We do this all of the time. We have very good imaginations. “Our neighbor doesn’t like us.” “The house down the street is haunted.” “Someone stole my scissors.” And if we aren’t feeling all that imaginative, there are all sorts of “news sources” which can help us out, to spur on delusional thinking. And then we feel the same horrible emotions we would feel, as if the situations were actually true. Emotions require a great deal of energy. Emotions also have a tendency to spur on our minds to create more fearsome, troublesome stories, in order to support their ongoing turbulence. Emotions love to run hot and strong. Emotions love to be felt. Emotions love it when they even start to affect our physical bodies, with stomach aches and headaches, and other other aches and pains and chills. Bottom line, there is nothing wrong with feeling emotion. Just make sure that you are honest with yourself, by noticing if you are expending your emotional energy on the truth versus on falsehoods. Be as mindful where you put your thoughts and your emotions, as to where you put your other resources, such as your money and your time. Pay attention. Be in the moment. All of these things are what makes up the experience of daily life, which ultimately is the whole of your life.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:
1429. What is standing between you and one of your biggest dreams?
It’s fascinating to me how the focus in our lives change, even if the circumstances don’t change that much. Something in our life grabs our attention like a project, or a trip, or a goal, or a crisis, or a pain, or a sickness, etc. and that situation takes the spotlight, even though everything else is happening pretty much like it would every other day. Right now, my focus is on my stuffed up head, and so everything else that was either bothering me or interesting me, has gone into the background. But soon this annoying sinus infection will pass, and I will be on to new irritations and intrigues. Such is the way of life. This is what is meant by, “This too shall pass . . .”
Here are some gems that I found in some of my inspiration notebooks that I thought that I would pass on for today (None of these are my own. I’m sorry for those quotes which are lacking credit. I’ve kept these notebooks for years, namely for myself, and shamefully, I was often lapse about writing down the source.):
+ “This is your permission to stop looking to be liked by people who don’t even like themselves.” – Nicole LaPera
+ “The shortest answer to your question: What would someone who loved him or herself do?” – Alan Cohen
+ “What comes at you, comes from you.” – Bert Winn
+ “A toxic situation is more likely to change you than you are to change it. Get out.”
+ “Honesty without kindness is cruelty. But kindness without honesty is manipulation.”
+ “You don’t get to pick the consequences of your actions.”
+ “Sometimes when you are invited, you’re still not welcomed. Know the difference.” – Wise Connector, X
+ “There are four natural sanctuaries: silence, solitude, stillness and simplicity.” – Brianna Wiest
+ “The light heart lives long.”
+ “Not what we have, but what we enjoy constitutes our abundance.” – Jean Antoine Petit-Senn
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:
2220. Which foreign language did you have to learn at school?
Wow. There is nothing else that makes you appreciate your own health and vitality, than when it is taken away from you. I guess that’s the same for anything good in your life that is so dependable. It is easily taken for granted. I don’t know what current strains of viruses are going around right now, but this one around here decided to “take me to the party.” I still can’t hear out of my right ear, all that well, but I am feeling decidedly around the bend. Thank goodness.
Last night I had the most intense dream. (Based on the medical cocktail I’m on right now for my infections, this is probably not unusual.) In my dream, I was visiting this unusual place on a tall, dark black, steep cliff where I had the sense that I had been there previously. I looked up to see, far up on one side of the cliff, that there was an intriguing looking entrance with bright lights and a fire and what looked to be some sort of store or restaurant. It had a very over-the-top, Disney-ish, “assault to the senses” kind of look to it, and yet it was appealing and I had the feeling I had seen it before. It had a name over the entrance. The name was “Umbruch”. I don’t remember much more of the rest of the dream, but “Umbruch” stuck with me. I looked it up before writing the blog . It turns out that “Umbruch” is a German word for “to be in a state of flux, to be undergoing radical change, to be going through a period of upheaval.” (Langenscheidt dictionary)
This empty nest experience, for my husband and I, has definitely had its interruptions, fits and starts. The pandemic brought three of our kids home to live and to study, for a lot of 2020. In 2021, our son who has epilepsy was going through a tough year of regulating his medications, so he spent a lot of time home with us then. Our youngest child, our daughter, left for school in late summer of 2022, but in the meantime my mother-in-law was enduring a long, slow illness that ended in her death in December of 2022, so that was a major part of our focus. In 2023, our daughter came home from college for the summer and she lived with us. This 2024 summer is the first summer, that we have no children living with us since I was 25 years old, as our daughter is studying abroad. This is the first real taste of the “true empty nest.” We definitely have been experiencing “umbruch” for a while now, and I think my subconscious wanted to bring that to my attention. The exciting thing though, is that I did not feel frightened or worried, in my dream. I felt a mix of excitement, curiosity, and anticipation. I was on a steep cliff, yet I had a sense of reassurance that I had been to this place before and that it had ended up to be a great experience. I was excited to climb up to the entrance.
Forgive my indulgence in relaying my dream. I keep this blog mostly as a thought catalog for myself (although I am so grateful that it resonates with my readers!). I read something recently that every major stage in life can be painted as a sad, bitter end, or an exciting, intriguing new beginning. The fact is that every ending is also a new beginning. Umbruch sounds like a scary, challenging place to be, but it also sounds mysterious, energizing and eye-opening. I think that I am excited to explore what it has to offer.
And what I do know for sure is that it is great to be back to writing the blog! See you tomorrow.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:
1072. What is your favorite game beginning with the letter N?
Hi readers and friends. Judging from concerned texts which I have been receiving from some of my inner circle who are also Adulting-Second Half faithfuls, I felt the need to come to let you know that I am fine, and I hope to be back to my regular daily blogging by Monday, at the latest. Unfortunately, I came down with a doozy of a virus on Monday night and it has knocked me off of my feet. Throughout this past week, I have been miserable, fatigued, bummed, annoyed and mostly, extremely listless. I finally succumbed to going to the doctor on Friday who confirmed that my virus had turned into a mess of two ear infections and a sinus infection, and she swiftly put me on antibiotics and steroids. The medications are starting to kick in. I still don’t have a lot of energy, but I have pain relief and thankfully, my head no longer feels like it is going to explode.
My daughter left for her summer study abroad studies in London earlier this week, and so I suppose, in missing her and feeling the need to channel her, with my utter lack of energy, I firmly sat on my little brown couch, with little brown dog, and I mostly binge watched most of The Crown, all week long. (I may be one of the few women left on Earth, who has never seen The Crown before this week.) In doing so, my curiosity lead me to reading this book: Lady in Waiting: My Extraordinary Life in the Shadow of the Crown by Anne Glenconner. It is the true story of a member of the British aristocracy who served as a lady-in-waiting for Princess Margaret for 30 years, and she also was one of Queen Elizabeth’s attendants when the queen was coronated in 1953. It is an honest, candid, highly readable book which was written in 2020, when the author was in her eighties (The author is still writing books, now at the age of 91). I could not put the book down. I expected to be disgusted and off-put by her accounts, but instead I found her biography intriguing, fascinating and oddly, sometimes even relatable. No matter what our station in life is, we women all juggle what it means to be women in service not only to ourselves but also to our husbands/partners, families and communities, all while being strongly influenced, and sometimes limited, by societal expectations.
Coming here to the blog, for the first time since Tuesday morning, despite being utterly played out, has made me realize how much I’ve missed writing it, and feeling a connection with you, my readers. I missed you! Thank you for the well wishes and concern. I pride myself on my robust immune system and I am not used to being “kept down” this long, but I believe that the body has a wisdom of its own and I am willing to succumb to this wisdom and healing that only true rest and surrender has to offer.
Good night, friends. I am headed to bed. I will be back “in form” by Monday. <3
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:
1217. Are you being true to yourself?
Credit: The Healthy
I woke up last night with raging sore throat and feverish dreams that made me wonder if I actually slept or if I physically appeared and enacted in my own dreams. When I get sick, I just get really perturbed. I pride myself on a robust immune system. I start barking about who to blame for my sickness. I need to go back to bed. I may be back to blogging tomorrow, but I’m not making any promises.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:
2372. Have you ever had a dream about being abducted by aliens?
Happy Monday. Happy New Week. Wear sunscreen. I have my annual check-up at my dermatologist today and unfortunately, I wasn’t great about my sunscreen usage yesterday. I am preparing myself for a well-deserved lecture.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:
2829. Who would you want to sing a song you’ve written?
